-The Legend of Lank-
-Chapter 2: Mellow Fellow-

Six months after Lank's precious Princess Shecanplayhopscotchetta was kidnapped, Lank went into HDSD. After wasting all his rubees on potions for those drugs, he went on a walk in the forest. The forest was dark, dank, and filled to the brim with chickens with eight wings, otherwise known as "Octacocks". Other than them, there were no nice animals in the Forest of Badrule.

"Aw, man. I wish more nice animals would come here." Lank said.

"ahjgswyigwydgagdiugwigdw!" shrieked an animal.

"Dafuq?"

While Lank said that last sentence-

"You mean 'Dafuq'?"

Yes, "Dafuq". Anyway, while Lank was saying that bad word hybrid used by internet peoplez, a nut spontaneously flew into his mouth and out his butthole! It was a mesmerizing feeling not yet felt by mankind. Lank felt…enlightened.

"Whoa! I feel enlightened!"

Other than the fact that Lank's too stupid to break the fourth wall, the nut that passed through his system and out his butthole allowed him to speak the gibberish the animal thing said earlier in this stupid story!

"Can you hear me now, dude? DO YOU UNDERRRRRSTAAAAAAAND!?" sarcastically questioned the new animal that was just talked about.

"Whoa-"

"Stop saying that!" retorted the creature.

"Okay...Gnarly, broski!"

"Your incompetence appalls me…Anyway, my name is Mellow. Mellow the Marshmallow."

"So, I guess that makes you a mellow fellow! Huh, huh?"

"..."

"So, Mr. Mellow Yellow, why are you talking to me, and why did you shoot a nut through me mouth and out my butthole?"

Now isn't the best time, but Mellow is a marshmallow with wings. He comes from the Tribe of The Mellians. Although they're marshmallows with wings, then can shoot acorns from their mouths and they are two feet tall.

"I had to give you the Jabberjabber Nut so that you could speak Mellian. And also, my name is Mellow, not that drink you were talking about."

"That doesn't answer why you came to me, Mr. Mellow Mushroom."

"I was getting to that! Anyway, you're the only one who can defeat Cannon."

"Why me?"

"You're the only one stupid enough to risk your life trying to save Princess Shecanplayhopscotchetta."

"I guess that makes sense. Okay, I'll go… Where do I go first?"

"You have to go through the Forest of Badrule, y'know, the one you're standing in right now."

"But, what about the Octacocks?"

"...I don't think that's their name, Lank."

"Y U knOW mY nAMe?1"

"Because, you told me that time when you were high on crack."

"When was that?"

"Right before I shot a Jabberjabbet Nut down your throat and out your butthole. Too bad the narrator didn't tell the kind readers of this stupid story."

Hey! I can say whatever I want to say. And can you stop overusing the word "butthole"?

"NO!" both cried in unison.

After that, Lank got a good day's nap and took a spork out of the kitchen. Of course, it was nighttime, so there were lots of monsters. But don't worry, Lank's trusty spork would allow him to fend off the monsters! That is…until it broke.