The Tale of Theon's Cock
Theon was laying on the bed, naked save a pair of socks to keep his feetsies warm. It was Business Time, after all. He had his hands resting behind his head as he stared at the ceiling with an odd sense of satisfaction. I am the master of cock, He thought to himself with a smug smile on his face. Looking to his left, he studied the sleeping girl beside him. She'd been a decent fuck, he'd had better, that much was certain. He scoffed quietly, "Only good for one thing."
She must have heard him, because she stirred, her green eyes opening slightly. "Good morning," Her sweet, small voice was still laced with sleep. No longer innocent, he thought, My cock is a coming of age.
Theon did not reply immediately, instead he stood up, stretching and pulling on his shirt. "It's not morning," He stated shortly after a moment, "We're still in the dark hours, idiot." He looked sadly down upon his rod of life one last time before pulling his pants up.
The girl said nothing to this, to which he was grateful. He hated when whores spoke too much, their mouths had better uses after all. Good one, he thought to himself, mentally patting himself on the ass.
"You never told me your name," Theon said lazily, looking over at her for a moment. He felt as though he should say something, since she wasn't speaking. What was she waiting for? Breakfast?He thought on it no longer before turning back to check himself out in the dirty mirror. Even in a dirty mirror he looked fine as hell. Damn, he thought, damn.
"Names are not important in affairs like these." She said quietly, brushing her hair.
"You can say that again," He spoke curtly.
"Names are no-"
"No," He said, "No."
x
When he emerged once more upon the lively little pub, it was late in the night, yes, but it was never too late to be in the most booming pub in Westeros. Theon was pleased to see he was met with many hearty greetings and offers to have drinks bought for him. Finally getting the attention I deserve, He thought to himself, winking at a few young girls with dresses that dawned his name in stitches. If only Father could see this, he thought, Why the fuck am I thinking so much, he thought, Do I usually think this much? He thought, What the fuck is going on, he thought.
Thankfully, a hooded figure pulled him from his thoughts, handing him a mug of ale. "Here, young lad. The drink is on me!" The man slapped Theon on the back, and for a second he was sad that it wasn't instead on his ass. "May Brother Irmo grant you a long, happy lifetime." Theon had not a thought on what the fuck we was talking about, but accepted the mug gladly, downing it quickly. When he looked back to see the man who had given him the drink, Theon was surprised to see he was no longer there. It only goes to show, he thought.
"Faring well, Lord Greyjoy?" Came the whore-y voice of Bethyn, he turned to look at her, and his face assumed a look of disgust. She sat perched over the bar, pushing her breasts out in such a manner that he thought they could be used as flotation devices.
"How I fare is none of your concern! You whore!" She merely giggled in reply.
Such a whore.
"IN THE LAND OF SWEET LUVIN," Dresslad the Bard sang, continuing on from a song that Theon had believed to be about a young boy getting pleasured, if you catch his drift (Joffrey, we're looking at you). Theon flipped a coin into the slushee cup he had placed out for tips, winking as well. He liked to help the small guys, mostly because it made himself look good, but also because- no, actually, that was the only reason.
"Hey, Theon!" Someone called from behind him, and he turned around to see a guy around his age approaching him.
"Yes?"
"I'm a big fan of your cock!" The guy said, pulling out a painting of Theon and motioning for him to sign it. "You're an inspiration to all of us, dude." Theon signed the painting proudly.
A young child pulled on his sleeve and Theon turned quickly to meet the small child, "What is it, child?" He asked, not unkindly. Maybe the kids mother was a MILF, who knew?
"Excuse me, ser, but can you tell me how you are so great with the ladies?"
Theon chuckled, "It is not something to explain, kid. It is known."
"It is known." Irri repeated from behind, and no one knew where she came from.
"I wish that I'll be as cool as you when I grow up!"
Theon gave out a hearty laugh, kneeling down so he was eye level with the child. He heard two girls sigh with affection nearby, was an threesome in his future? Oh gods, please. He placed his hand on the boys shoulder, moving piano music suddenly playing in the background as he began to speak. "Maybe you will, boy." He wouldn't. "But remember this... with a great dick comes great responsibility."
Suddenly remembering something, he reached in his pocket, pulling out a small plastic package and handing it to the child. "One day, you may need this. I never have, but you know," He shrugged as the boy placed the condom in his pocket. It was probably best the kid didn't procreate anyway, he looked dumb.
"Gee, thanks, mister!"
"Anytime," Theon replied with a wink before looked at the camera.
"Anytime."