Peeta
Needless to say I was surprised when my phone went off at two in the morning and Finnick's voice greeted me. He sounded like he was about to break down as he pleaded with me to come down to their hotel and help with Katniss, claiming it was an emergency. My first thought had been to shoot him down right away, why should I help her when she so carelessly dropped a bomb on me? One glance out my bedroom window to the house next door that had belonged to my friend and mentor however and I was telling Finnick I was on my way, knowing Haymitch would be very disappointed in me if I didn't at least attempt to help.
When I arrived at the hotel, Finnick was pacing the lobby and looked relieved to see me. " What's so damned important that you had to call me at two in the morning to come take care of Katniss?" I murmur as I shake his hand.
" She's drunk." He says bluntly.
I gawk at him for a moment, trying to see if he's serious about that being the emergency. " So?" I can't believe he called me to help him with Katniss since she was drunk, really that wasn't a big deal to me and he'd made it sound like a life or death situation. He really needed to learn the difference between a nuisance and an emergency.
" So? When Katniss gets drunk and gets around Pearl, she's a disaster. She starts crying and turns into a complete mess, it's almost worse than when she was pregnant. She doesn't harm Pearl, but it scares her to have Katniss apologizing and crying over and over again. She usually only gets drunk twice a year, Annie and I would usually watch Pearl because Haymitch and Effie would come up so they could drink with her but with Annie and I's two sons in the room we don't have the space to put Katniss or Pearl, Johanna's pregnant so there's no room with Elm, Gale and her and Katniss can't go back to her room with Pearl, her mother and Prim." He explains.
" Finnick seriously what's this got to do with me? I'm sorry, usually I have more patience but after what happened with Katniss earlier, I'm running very thin. " I tell him as I rub my temples, trying to figure out why they didn't move people around or get another room, certainly between four Victors they could afford to.
" Alright, I can understand that, but you're not the only one who's ticked with her over the confrontation earlier or this whole situation. I'll make this nice and sweet, there are no other rooms available here in the hotel. Pretty much, Katniss needs another place to stay." He sighs.
I roll my eyes at him and start towards the door, only stopping when he asks why I won't even help a little bit. " Why Finnick? Why won't I help Katniss?" I snap as I turn around to look at him. " Alright let's go down the list. First, when I needed her the most, when I woke up without a single memory of the night before, she had fled. Second, she divorced me without so much as an explanation as to why. Third, I don't hear a single word from her, have no idea where she escaped to and haven't spoken to her in six years and what's the first thing she does? She drops a huge effing bomb on me that I'm a father to a six year old girl!" By the end of my little rant, I'm breathing heavily and yelling.
Finnick is silent for a moment before he runs a hand through his hair. " You called her no better than a common Capitol whore." He mutters, eyes dropping to the ground.
My entire body freezes and I give him a confused, repulsed look. " What?" I ask, everything coming to a sudden stop as I feel like my world is crashing in around me.
" The night she left, when you had an attack, you found her in your bed, wanting to surprise you but you came up and told her she was no better than any other common Capitol whore. She tried to get away from you and when she tried to dash past you and out of the room, you grabbed her by her throat. You help her against the wall, slamming her head against the wall and you hit her. Haymitch barely made it in time to save her." He explains and I feel like I can't breathe. " She had just learned about being pregnant and she panicked. When Haymitch told her she needed to be more careful for the baby's sake and she needed to get to a safe place, she thought only of you. She figured you'd hate yourself for almost harmed your baby and she didn't want you to feel guilty or hate yourself."
" How do you know all this?" I ask as I stand there, arms at my sides and hands balled in fists. One thing's for sure though, Katniss was right if he's telling the truth. I hate myself a little bit more for having harmed Katniss when she'd been pregnant and risking my unborn child's life.
" She told us everything and it was Annie and I who took her to the hospital when she arrived in District Four, luckily it was just bruises on her face and throat and nothing permanent. The baby obviously took no damage from it. After that she picked up some bad habits and it took Pearl being born to pull her out of her depression."
This is all news to me and I'm feeling a bit weak in my knees. " What bad habits did she pick up?" I demand.
" She used to cut her wrists, she would try to do dangerous things that risked not only her life but Pearl's. She didn't eat or sleep much and there would be days she would either not be able to get out of bed or she would spend a whole day sitting in the bath, crying."
I can't speak or move anymore. I can't believe what he's telling me. Why would Katniss be so miserable if she left me? Even if what he's saying is true and it was for our baby, it still didn't explain her earlier behavior.
" She still loves you." He assures me and I shake my head. It's cruel for him to say something like that when it's obvious I still love her.
" No. She was so cold earlier. She didn't even seem to care when she'd carelessly told me that I had a daughter. A six year old daughter. A six year old daughter that I knew nothing about, not even a whisper of and I forced to see pictures of her all over Haymitch's house!"
" I knew you wouldn't understand." A voice whispers and Finnick and I quickly in the direction it came from. My heart leaps though and all my anger and frustration instantly disappeared just like it used to.
" Katniss…" Finnick whispered and started towards her. She held her hand up to stop him and he just froze.
" Finnick you weren't supposed to tell him anything. You promised me when I came to Four, you promised me along with everyone else that what happened was mine to tell and mine alone." She told him, her voice shaking and eyes closing. " I was never going to tell him any of that!"
" I'm sorry Katniss, he deserves to know though. You just kind of told him something important like you were saying ' hello' and dashed off." He challenged.
" That gives you no right to go and tell him!" She suddenly screamed drawing plenty of attention.
" You're drunk Katniss." He counters. " You don't know what you're saying."
" I know exactly what I'm saying and I'm not drunk Finnick." She snapped. The way she said his name actually surprised me. I had never heard her say a name with so much venom, not even Snow or Coin had heard that.
" Yes you are Katniss. You're not going to go back up to your room tonight, Prim and your mom are going to handle Pearl with no problem." He tells her, grabbing her by her wrist and pulling her forward.
" You can't tell me what to do Finnick. I'm twenty-eight, I have a six year old daughter and I've been through just as much as you if not more. You can't treat me like a child anymore!" She protests as she tries to pull away from him.
" Then stop acting like one!" He snaps, tossing her towards me. I've never seen Finnick act in such a way when not protecting Annie, especially with Katniss, so I'm stunned beyond words.
She stumbles and crashes into my arms. It's second nature for me to wrap them tightly around her to protect her or comfort her. She doesn't pull away but instead turns to glare at Finnick who looks fierce. " This is for Pearl. She's seen you drunk before, she doesn't need to see it now, especially after the stunt you pulled earlier." Finnick tells her before looking up to me, his expression softening to one of relief and thanks. " I'm sorry about this Peeta, I'll pay you for your help though. She just needs to sleep this off."
I shake my head and bend down to scoop Katniss up bridal style, once again she doesn't try to pull away or even stop me. " Don't worry about paying me. After what you've told me, I don't need anything else. I'm just going to take her to the loft over the bakery that's just across the street. I'll make sure she's completely sober in the morning." I promise him.
" Thank you Peeta. We're all thankful you can do this and we're sorry though for having to drag you into this." He pats my shoulder and mutters me a wish of good luck before heading up the stairs to his room.
" Forget what he told you earlier." Katniss mutters and I look down to see her staring after Finnick.
" Let's just get you to the loft." I mutter and carry her out of the hotel and across to my bakery. It takes me a minute to dig around in my pocket for the keys and get the door open and a challenge too since I somehow manage to keep her up off the ground with one arm and a knee to support her surprisingly light body. I carry her up the stairs in the kitchen and to the loft apartment, it's just a large bedroom with a small bathroom. I set her on the bed before running downstairs to lock up the bakery again and take my time going upstairs to join her, Finnick's words still loud in my ears.
When I get upstairs, I find Katniss staring at the pictures of us on the wall, a wall she had personally selected every photo for since it was all about the first year we had been married. She's staring out a picture of us on our honeymoon, my personal favorite of all the pictures of her hanging up. We had gone to District Four, luckily able to rent a small house on a private beach where no adoring fans or paparazzi, it really had been just the two of us. This particular picture was of her smiling and waving, she was standing ankle deep in the water, it was sunset so the sky was orange, pink and yellow and she was in a hunter's green bikini. She just looked so incredible in that moment, carefree, happy and like nothing in the world bothered her.
What I wouldn't do to have that Katniss back or have been able to cling onto her for just a little bit longer…
" You haven't changed anything have you?" She whispered, guessing that I was back in the room.
I clear my throat nervously and try not to show that I'm a bit ashamed that I haven't. " I wanted things the way they were before everything happened and we fell apart." I admit softly.
" Why can't you do one selfish thing in your life Peeta Mellark?" She sighs after a few minutes of silences, shaking her head in what I assume to be disbelief.
" What do you mean?" I ask confused. I've felt pretty selfish and I had done selfish things many times in my life but I didn't see what that had to do with wanting to keep things how they had been.
" I leave without so much as a note. I never call, write or visit. I see you for the first time in six years today and I drop the largest bomb of your life on you on top of being so cold to you and you do this. You come to my rescue. You keep the loft, where we spent the first year of our marriage and the two years leading up to our marriage living exactly how I decorated it. I bet your house is even the exact same way as when I left. You probably never even thought of moving on or trying to find another girl worthy of the great Peeta Mellark, the boy with the bread, the one who could move any entire country with a few simple words and had people bending over backwards to please." She mutters.
" I couldn't. My heart still belongs to you Katniss, I can't help that my heart and soul still cling to you just as they have done since I was five years old. No matter how many times I'm told you've moved on, I can't help it. Yes, you weren't exactly the warmest person when we met this morning, but I've dealt with you under far worse circumstances. Our daughter I will admit was too much to just casually drop like that and it did make me angry for a moment to think you took and hide her away from me like this." I admitted slowly as I moved to stand beside her. " Katniss I can't be selfish with you, you're a free spirit and I can't tame a mockingjay anymore than I can tame fire, unfortunately you're both so there's never been a prayer of that. I've loved you for almost my entire life, I can't hate you if that's what you've been trying to make me do all these years. I look at these pictures every day and I don't regret them, I'm just incredibly thankful I got the time I did."
I look down at Katniss and see she's crying and when I reach up to wipe her tears, she pushes my hand away. " You can't love me this much. I heard you and Finncik. You are angry with me for keeping Pearl a secret from you even though I thought I was doing what was best. I saw the look on your face though when he told you what happened. You hated yourself for a second, admit it. I know you would have hated yourself more had you known at the time but that doesn't stop the betrayal does it?" She demands, looking up at me, searching my face.
" Yes I did hate myself a little bit when he told me but I understand now that you did what I would have had I been in your shoes. I would have understood had you told me, I wouldn't have liked it but I'm just going to have to deal with the decision you made and hope I can make up for my mistake." I admit before running my hands through my hair in frustration. " I'm trying to be nice Katniss. I will admit that when Finnick originally asked me to help I wasn't going to. When he explained everything and you showed up though, all my anger towards you disappeared. You did what you had to so you could protect our unborn baby. I can't blame you for that." I admit slowly, keeping my eyes locked on hers.
" That's what I'm talking about. Why can't you just kick me out on the street? Why couldn't you refuse Finnick? You owe him nothing, he's the one in debt to you. It's the same with the others too. It's the same for me. Why bring me up here to a place that was always so special and sacred to you? Why Peeta Mellark? Why?" She exclaims as she throws her hands up in anger and confusion.
" Why do you have to question everything, especially when the answer is jumping up and down, screaming in your face? Because I love you Katniss! I want to make up for what I did to you to drive you away. I want to know get to know my daughter. I want us, you and me, to be a thing again!" I shout, grabbing her shoulders.
She's really sobbing, her whole body shaking. She reaches out and grabs fistfuls of my shirt pulling me to her. She buries her face in my shoulder and I can't help but wrap my arms around her protectively. " Hate me Peeta, just hate me already! I can't stand that you still love me. If you hated me it would make things so much easier for me!" She exclaimed into my chest.
" There was a time I tried to Katniss, honest. I wanted to hate you when you left, but I couldn't because I still love you with every fiber in my being. Every cell in my body, every beat of my heart, every breath that I take screams for you. " I tell her with a heavy sigh.
" I hoped you have moved on. I wanted to come back here and hear stories of how you've married someone else, have kids, living the life you wanted with me just with someone more deserving." She whispers, pulling back to look up at me with such sad eyes. " Not even when I'm cruel to you can you stay at angry at me long… Can I say I'm sorry for how I acted earlier. You brought up my old memories, all the emotions I've tried to bury. I couldn't help it, I even just rushed through announcing you being Pearl's father so I'd have an excuse to leave so quickly because I knew Pearl would start crying or it would be awkward between us so I could excuse myself."
" Katniss you don't have to explain yourself. You're drunk and you need to rest." I tell her as I pull back, taking her by her wrists, leading her to the bed, having heard enough for one night and knowing that the answers I really want, I want from sober Katniss. She doesn't fight me and I'm able to get her easily situated on the bed. She curls up under the blankets on her old side of the bed and she looks like a little doll.
" Peeta please don't leave me." She whispered when I had stepped back to turn the light off and head down to the bakery. I had a couch in the kitchen that I had planned on sleeping on but the way she asked me, it melted my heart.
I turn the light off and move to my side of the bed, wrapping my arms tightly around her so she's pressed up against me. " Always." I murmur and I feel her relax. I can't help it as I start stroking her hair, knowing she's having no trouble finding sleep. " Oh Katniss what am I going to do with you?" I sigh softly, looking over her now and at the wall that contained so many pictures of us during happier and worse times but times we stood side by side none the less.
Thank you so much to everyone who's read this, reviewed it, added it or me to their favorite/alert lists. This story will be updated probably about once or twice a week since I'm going to be handling it a bit different than I am my other two fanfics. Let's see if we can maybe get at least another 7 reviews and get to a total of 20 for this fanfic in the next couple of days? The third chapter is in the works already but PLEASE let me know what you think!