"She's screaming in my head

I left her where I slept

Somewhere, I can't escape

I'm running from myself

Somewhere in between in love and broken

I'm in hell" — Again, Noah Cyrus ft. XXXTENTACION

Paul

I don't run from a challenge. Tucking tail and walking away has never been something I was good at. Not even before my transition.

My anger was completely uncontrollable and my ability to simply walk away was nonexistent.

I'd always been the fighter of the family. Whether my anger got the best of me and I swung on someone for getting an attitude, or I got so angry I would cry.

Emily, my alpha Sam's fiancé, says I'll most likely never find a wife because I don't know how to be vulnerable and "soft". I'm not good at expressing the kind of gooey emotions required to ever be in love.

It's not that I don't want to do so, I mean, I'm childish and goofy and lovable...it's just that I have issues trusting people.

Ever since my mother left my dad when I was eight, I haven't gotten very attached to many people outside of my family. That was 10 years ago, and I even have difficulty trusting people to this day.

But that changed when I met her. Marisela Augustine.

She had been in my English class, a foreign exchange student from Italy but she had moved there from France.

She was the most beautiful human being I had ever seen.

Golden skin, dark hair, full lips and brown eyes.

The absolute most kind person I had ever met in my entire existence, aside from Emily, and the moment I saw her I was determined to get her.

I didn't even have to date her. Just being friends satisfied me. We stayed friends, close friends. She would come over and eat dinner with me and my family.

But that all changed when I phased for the first time. My priorities shifted. I stopped going to school, I stopped talking to my friends...I even stopped talking to Marisela. Which was pretty fucking hard to do because I had imprinted on her before I dropped school completely. I hadn't known what was going on with me and I didn't want to risk hurting her.

She was beyond pissed when I dropped her for "no reason".

So pissed that she came looking for me.

I had been at Emily's, eating, when I heard the car door slam. Everyone had looked at me, catching her scent, and Sam stopped eating momentarily.

"Dude, your ass grass." Jared told me.

"And Mari's gonna mow it." Embry added.

"Behave." Emily told them sternly as there was a knock at the door.

She went to open the door and I squeezed my eyes shut, rubbing my face for a second.

Emily opened the door and greeted her. Marisela returned it politely and moved past her and looked at me.

"Paul," she crossed her arms and I pretended I didn't hear her, eating my food and looking straight ahead.

The tone in the room shifted. They pitied her because she couldn't know what we were, and if she did know it would help her understand things better. But because she couldn't know, it made things so complicated.

Sam had given me permission to tell her about us, since she was my imprint, but I refused to.

Paul, go talk to her, Embry's thoughts invaded mine and I looked at him.

There's nothing to talk about, I think back and they all stare at me.

Marisela walked to me, snatching my plate of food out from under me and I look at her as if she just murdered my dad.

"You'll get this back when you acknowledge my existence." She told me bitterly and I sighed, noticing that everyone was trying not to laugh. "Outside, now." She set the food on the counter and went outside. I followed her, hearing mumbles about how I was already whipped.

"Mari—"

"What did I do wrong?" She asked me.

I sighed, looking down. I hated this. I hated hurting her. But it was to protect her.

"You didn't do anything wrong." I assured her.

"Then why the hell have you dropped me? I thought everything was okay."

"It's not your fault. It's not. It's nothing you did, or anyone else. It's me. I just need time to myself."

"Bullshit." She snapped and I rolled my jaw. "You're not telling me the truth and I know you aren't."

"What do you want me to do? What can I do to make you happy so you'll hop off." My anger gets the best of me and I spit the words venomously at her.

"Be honest with me."

"I can't do that." I shake my head.

"Okay." She nodded, tears gathering in her eyes. "Well, then, whenever you're out of whatever the hell kind of phase you're going through, don't bother trying to get ahold of me again." She turned on her heal and walked back to her car.

I took deep breaths, trying not to run after her as she drove off.

I went back inside, my teeth grinding together as I sat down and ignored my pack.

"She's going back to Italy." Emily says.

"What?" I look at him.

"She's going back to Italy. She told me a couple of weeks ago that her mom's really sick and she has to go back for a little while. Maybe you would know that if you didn't punish her for something you couldn't prevent from happening." Emily said next, raising her brows. She didn't say it in a mean way, just "maybe you should listen to Sam and just be honest with her" way.

I stood up from the table and left, shifting to my wolf form and running in the direction that she had left in.

I thought things were complicated back then when none of it even compared to what the hell was going on now.

Marisela was covered in blood, that didn't belong to her, staring off into space as Carlisle Cullen tried to soothe her and reassure her that she would be okay.

The Cullen's were the closest vampire clan to us. They were "vegetarian", only eating animals instead of feeding on human flesh. But they were still soulless, dead, cold creatures.

Me and the rest of the pack stood in their living room, waiting on Sam to get here.

She'd gone to Italy for several months, and when she came back, it all went to hell.

One minute me and the pack were chasing an unfamiliar vampire that was on our land, and the next minute we realized it was her.

She was scared to death, coated in blood from feeding, and scared to death. Sam instructed us to take her to Carlisle, and so we did.

"When did you turn?" Carlisle asked her lowly and she looked at me.

"Two days ago in Seattle. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. My throat was on fire and I just needed relief." She croaked out and Carlisle gave her a sympathetic look.

I had told her about Vampires being our biggest enemy when I showed her I was a wolf the last day I saw her before she left.

She was completely in shock, but reacted to it better than I thought she would have.

She reacted to it better than I'm reacting to her own change...

I was repulsed. Not by her, but what she was now. My whole body aches as I look at her stained clothes, her hair in mats from dried blood clumping it up. She was now dead.

I couldn't fathom never hearing her heart beat again, never enjoying the warmth of her hands playfully hitting me. Her scent. Her normal, human, scent had been replaced with that of strong fragrance. It was more tolerable than the other's, but still just as potent.

She didn't know she was my imprint. She didn't know I'd been through hell the months she wasn't here.

"Let's get you cleaned up," Esme, Carlisle's wife, told her very gently.

Marisela nodded a little, avoiding looking at me anymore.

I wanted to go with them. Not so I could see Mari naked, but so I could check on her and try to talk to her. But I couldn't bring myself to follow them as they left us downstairs.

"She'll Be Okay." Edward, Carlisle's son, suddenly said to me.

"She will." I tell him. "I won't." I shake my head before storming out.

The other's follow me and I find the nearest tree and punch it with everything I have.

"Paul," Jared started but I stopped him.

"Don't. I don't need anyone saying a fucking thing to me. She's one of them now. We have a rule. End of discussion. It's over."

"She's your god damn imprint, Paul! You expect yourself to just walk away from her? You think any of us, including Sam, expect you to just walk away from her?" He argues and I turn to face him.

It takes everything in me not to cry. I don't cry. But now seems like a pretty damn good time to cry.

"You wanna go back to Emily's?" Embry offers.

"No." I shake my head, shaking from trying to keep my emotions at bay.

"Wanna go running?" He goes with a different alternative.

"No." I reply, my voice thick from oncoming tears that I am fighting to hold back.

"Wanna stay here?" Quil asks and I shake my head, not knowing what the hell I want.

We hear something coming, and our attention turns to Sam as walks toward us from the tree line.

"Where is she?" He asked.

"Getting washed off." Jared told him and Sam looked at me.

"Paul," he started.

"I know. 'She's your imprint. This doesn't change that'. But guess what? Yes, it fucking does. It changes everything!"

"Look," Sam grabs the back of my neck, looking me in the eyes. "We all care about her, Okay?"

"She's one of them, now." I scoff. "Tell me what to do with that. Tell me how we're gonna explain that I'm with a vampire."

"You did not imprint on a vampire. You imprinted on a human who was turned by no choice of her own." He stated sternly. "That's what we say.

"Like it'll help any." I snarl.

Sam glares over my shoulder and I turn to see he's looking at Esme.

"She's asking for you." She tells me politely and Sam looks at me.

"Go see her." He demands.

"Sam—" I start to complain but he stops me.

"I don't care. Go." He pushes me and I huff out a breath and follow Esme inside. Jared follows me as Esme leads me up the stairs to the bathroom Mari's in.

"She's very scared right now, so, please, be patient with her. Though I doubt you wouldn't be anything but." She speaks in a whisper and I nod.

She knocks on the door before opening it.

"Marisela, your friend's here." She tells her.

I come in, seeing Mari sitting in the red stained, porcelain tub. She looked like hell. Her curly hair was in tangles, her flesh that was once golden was now paler in complexion. Not as white as the Cullen's but still sickly looking.

It hurt me to see her so confused and dazed.

Her eyes were what really caught me off guard. Her once dark brown orbs were now a scarlet red, and I hated it.

I wanted to tear apart whoever did this to her. Whoever put her in this position. I should've protected her better. I shouldn't have let her go. I should've fought harder for her.

You didn't know, Jared tells me in my mind and I look at him.

I walk to Marisela, cautiously, and she looks up at me.

She grips the edge of the tub so hard that it leaves a shallow crack.

"Mari," I say gently. My hand reaches out and touches her face. It's cold, but more than bearable. I don't know if it's because I'm a wolf and we're made to stand extreme cold, or what, but her skin isn't as icy feeling as I thought it would be.

I make sure to block Jared's view of her naked body, not that he was interested, anyway.

She leans into my touch, and extends her arms. I immediately fall to my knees and hug her. She's very careful not to crush me, and I'm careful not to think about the droplets of blood mixed with with water that clings to her.

Jared and Esme leave us in private, and I pull away and cup her face.

"I'm sorry, Paul. I didn't want this. I didn't..." She shakes her head and I soothe her.

"It's not your fault." I shake my head. "I should've protected you more. I should've picked you up from the airport so you wouldn't have had to walk anywhere and this wouldn't have happened. I failed you."

She shook her head and looked at me with a furrowed brow.

"You didn't fail me." She argued with me. "You didn't fail me, Paul. I did this to myself. I was the one that walked away from us, not you."

"I walked away." I tell her.

"No, you didn't. I did this to myself." She finished with a sharp tone. "I should've never trusted him." She whispered so low it was barely audible. But I heard it.

"What?" I ask and she looks at me, her mouth slightly open. "Trusted who?"

"No one."

"Trusted Who?" I ask again, this time with a more stern voice. "Marisela, who?"

Her mood does a full 360, and she turns a little angry.

"No one." She stood up and grabbed the towel Esme left, wrapping it around her.

She reached for the door knob but I grabbed her and pushed her against the door, knowing it didn't hurt her at all.

"Who did you trust?" I ask her one last time, a growl emitting from my chest.

She looks up at me, a little frustrated that I'm not dropping it but I don't care.

"There was a guy," she starts. "At the airport. When I got outside he followed me and offered to get me something to eat. One minute we're in a restaurant getting food and the next I'm in an ally, pinned against a wall with teeth in my neck. So no, it's not you that got me into this. It's me." She finished. "Can I go now?"

I let her go, taking a step back and she swung the door open and stormed past Jared who was waiting.

"That was intense." He mumbled. "She's kinda hotter than she was before." He added and I looked at him and rolled my jaw. "Kidding. Damn, lighten up, man."

I follow her scent, seeing she's putting on clothes that the Cullen's got for her.

"When you get your clothes on, we're leaving." I told her and she looked at me with a raised brow.

"No."

"What?"

"I said, 'no', Paul. Your family knows nothing about vampires and I'm going to need some training. I can stay here until I'm under control." Her accent wrapped around every word perfectly and I just blink at her.

"You think you're gonna hurt us or something?"

"Your dad, Emily, basically anybody that doesn't smell like wet dog."

"I don't wanna hear you complain about how we smell. You smell like lavender bleach. It's not that fun to smell, either." I snap at her and she licks her lips.

"Humans, Paul. They're human. I've only been this for two days. I can't control my hunger yet. I don't want to put your family at risk like that."

"You won't, Mari." I tell her and she shakes her head.

"I don't trust myself." She pulls a pair of Sweatpants.

"And they can't be trusted." I say very quietly.

She gives me an odd look and rolls her jaw.

"Why did Sam instruct you to bring me to them when you guys found me, then? You don't have to trust them as Vampires. But you need to trust them to teach me basic things about control."

"I can't do that." I grind my teeth together. "They're..." I trail off, not wanting to offend her but not wanting to trust them either.

"Vampires?" She seethed.

I didn't say a thing and she threw the towel she had, on the floor.

"If you're going to disown me for something I can't help then I don't know what to tell you, Paul. Tough luck, I guess. I was patient with you when you showed me you turned into a wolf the size of a Semi Truck." She rubbed her eyes and I stepped to her, brushing her damp hair from her smooth face.

"I could never disown you, Marisela. Pout and give you the silent treatment for a couple hours, yeah. But never disown you." I know she thinks it's a figure of speech, the "I can never disown you", but it's literal.

Wolves' imprints are the equivalent to a soul mate. Except it's not as simple as "I love you but if we break up, I'll survive". A wolf maintains a dependence on who they imprint on, and visa-versa. It's woven into our DNA to protect that person, at whatever cost, until we die or they die. And if they die, we might as well kick the bucket, too.

Imprinting is such a big deal to our kind, that our most absolute law is that imprints cannot be harmed by anyone in our pack.

Everyone almost broke that law while we were chasing Marisela, not knowing it was her.

I smelt the rat before anyone else did, the strong scent of bleach...and blood.

We were on patrol when it hit us and we immediately chased after it.

She was fast, her long curled hair following behind her and she swiftly ran from us. We were on edge.

Not too long ago we had chased Victoria away; a red headed vampire that had a vengeance against the Cullen's for killing her mate in order protect Edward's human girlfriend Bella Swan. So we were on edge already.

This one had dark hair, and was almost as good as Victoria at running. Almost.

Sam and the others ended up chasing after her while I was ordered to run at an angle so I could get ahead of her and tackle her by surprise.

I did just that, and when my paws hit her shoulders to pin her down, I looked at her.

"Paul," she gasped out and I immediately jumped off of her, my ears back and my head low as a whimper escaped my throat before a growl started to take its place.

She was covered in thick, dried blood, and looked like hell. I stared at her as the others caught up, growling and snarling, until the top realized who she was.

Holy shit, Jared thought.

Uh, Sam? We gotta problem, Embry echoed him.

Sam's large black form stepped to us and he looked at the Vampire.

Take her to Carlisle. I'll meet you there later and we'll talk about it further. Nobody touch a hair on her head. She's Paul's imprint before she's a vampire. Remember that, Sam ordered.

Edward's presence interrupted me and Marisela, and she moved away from me, causing me to glare at him.

He acknowledged me, barely, before turning his attention to her.

"Carlisle had to leave, briefly, but he wanted me to let you know that you are welcome to stay here as long as you need to."

Mari nodded and he went back downstairs. She looked at me and followed him and I went after her.

I was getting angry. They were trying to take her away from me and I wasn't going to let it happen.

"Thanks but no thanks. She's coming home with us." I tell him, seeing his two "sisters" and their husbands had joined us.

Upon me saying this, Sam and the others come into the house.

"She is?" Jared asked me.

"Yes, She is." I state.

"She has no control of herself, Paul. It's not safe for you or your family." Edward argued politely.

"You don't think we can't protect our family?" I hissed and cut my eyes at him.

"If she loses her composure, she'll either have to be chased away or destroyed. It's what you were created for." Edward pointed out and I looked at Sam.

"She's sure as hell not staying here. She'll be fine." I don't give up and Edward looks at Sam.

"You're risking your fiancés life," Edward tells him and Sam glances around at the pack before staring at me. "And any other human that she'll be around."

He's right, Paul, Sam says telepathically and I glare at him.

"No." I say aloud to him. "She's going back with us. She can stay with me. She won't even be around Emily."

"What about your dad?" Jared asks and I sigh.

"He'll Be fine."

"Paul." Marisela snaps.

"What?!" I yelled at her and she stayed quiet for a moment.

"Nothing." She finally spoke. "Let's go."