She sounded breathless as his name escaped her lips. Even to her own ears.
Her breathing quickened. Her heart rate increased. Her hands trembled.
The sight of him rattled her.
He looked tired. Torn. Bleak. And he even looked frightened somehow.
She was surprised. She hadn't expected this. She hadn't felt him once in the two weeks they had been travelling.
Poe, Chewie and Leia had decided it was too early to touch down for more than a few hours at a time. They would land on a remote planet to refuel and to replenish supplies and would quickly head out again. They were still thinking of an appropriate destination to settle, trying to figure out where they could go so that the First Order would not be able to track them. The Outer Rim was the obvious solution, but would not suffice long term. For the past two weeks, they had been debating back and forth.
And in that time… nothing. She figured the Bond they shared must have died along with Snoke.
And now, here he was again.
He looked worn down and yet the sight of him had never been more welcome than right now.
Still… Something was different. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something in their Bond had changed. She could… sense more. Feel more.
He seemed to freeze in place, equally flustered. Almost as if he were too scared to move.
He looked as shocked as that first time, when she'd tried to shoot him.
She frowned. Maybe she was imagining things. Fatigue did that to people sometimes.
"Are you really here, or is my mind playing tricks on me?" she asked quietly.
He swallowed past the lump in his throat.
"I'm here." He answered just as quietly. The deep timbre of his voice seemed to resonate through her every cell, causing her skin to tingle.
For a moment, they said nothing. Just stared at each other.
"Why are you here?" she spoke calmly.
"I don't know." He said.
Again, she frowned.
"Why is this still possible?" she said tensely. "Snoke is dead. This Bond should have died with him."
She suddenly sensed his anger. And his pain.
"I don't know. My guess is that Snoke didn't forge it."
"What are you saying? He admitted it himself." She spat.
She saw a muscle tick in his jaw. His full lips were drawn into a tight line.
"Force Bonds are not forged that way." He said with an undertone of anger. He remembered feeling shocked and betrayed as Snoke admitted to linking their minds. But he also remembered that Force Bonds were forged through passion and compassion. Not through manipulation.
"I don't think he created it. Maybe, he amplified it. But he didn't forge it."
She shook her head. "I don't believe you."
He snorted quietly and rolled his eyes. "There's a first…" he murmured sarcastically as he averted his gaze.
She lifted an eyebrow. "You have your father's sense of humor." She stated flatly.
Her words hit their mark. His gaze found hers again, his black eyes blazing with anger and indignation.
"It's the only trait I found interesting enough to keep." He retorted with venom.
This raised Rey's hackles.
"You should have paid more attention. Your father had many fine qualities. He was handsome and charming and very lovable. You should have seen him as an example. Being more like him would have served you well."
And then she felt it…
Anger and resentment and pain coursed through him. So much pain… Her words had wounded him. Cut through him like diamonds cut glass. And jealousy…
Jealousy?
She saw the muscles in his jaw and beneath his eyes contract. Felt the fury he was trying to keep in check. He took a few steps in her direction, narrowing his eyes at her.
"You only knew him for a few days. You would have resented him sooner or later. Han was just a swindler. A con man. He was strung together by so many lies and bullshit he wound up believing them himself. There was nothing exemplary about him." He snarled, putting emphasis on the word nothing.
She stepped closer too, never breaking eye contact. She stopped when she stood three feet apart.
She had to tip her head up to be able to stare into his eyes, but she never wavered.
"You're wrong. Your father was a wonderful man. He was kind and caring and loyal to those he loved. And he loved you, Ben. More than you could ever imagine. He would have done anything for you. He did everything he could for you. Even when you killed him, he continued to love you. You call him weak and foolish. I call him strong and determined."
She took another step forward, standing just a few inches apart.
She gazed into his eyes, trying not to drown in those black pools of emotional turmoil. Her stomach quivered at their nearness. But she needed to get this point across.
"Ben… You are your father's son!" she whispered fervently. "No matter how much you try to deny it, you have your parents blood flowing through your veins."
She licked her lips briefly and felt a brief flicker of fear when his gaze continued to burn through her angrily. What if she couldn't get through him?
"I hope you realize what a gift that is someday."
She watched his jaw lock, the way his teeth were clenched. She felt the storm that was brewing inside him. She felt his conflict as if it were her own.
"Don't hold your breath." He clipped.
She had never felt his emotions as clear as she did now. His pain, his anger, his disappointment, the betrayal he had felt, the abandonment… They rippled through her and combined in a great big knotted ball of feelings that would be difficult to untangle.
And she couldn't help but want to offer him a measure of comfort.
Out of its own volition, her hand slowly reached up to touch his cheek.
She felt him go completely still.
Her palm cupped his jaw as her thumb gently traced the outline of his scar. Something about that simple gesture moved her deeply and she suddenly felt an inappropriate sense of pride.
I gave him that scar. I marked him. He's mine.
Where that last thought came from, she would never know. But something shifted.
He made a small sound and frowned. Almost as if he had heard her thoughts. His eyes suddenly grew… Intense.
Everything about this man was intense. Had been since the moment they had met on Takodana.
But he had never looked at her quite the way he did right now. Not even during the interrogation. And she had never responded quite like this either.
Her entire body seemed very finely attuned to him. Her stomach quivered, she trembled all over, she felt goosebumps and hairs rise and her heart skipped a beat. Her breath hitched and she was both surprised and scared by the depth of her reaction.
Then without warning he stepped back, putting distance between them.
Confusion washed over her, but she couldn't say if it was her own or his.
He was breathing hard, staring at her intently.
She frowned as she felt his emotions flow through her again.
He was angry and frustrated. His mouth twisted into a grimace, cruel in its beautiful imitation of a smile.
"Believe what you will. It won't make a difference."
A muscle twitched near his lips, temporarily contorting his beautiful, gentle face into a cruel and almost hideous caricature.
"Han Solo is gone. He's dead. As for his son…" he looked haunted all of a sudden.
His son wishes he shared the same fate.
The thought rung in her head as if he had spoken aloud.
Their eyes met and she saw despair reflected in his gaze.
And just like that, the contact was broken. She was left alone in her quarters again.
She drew in a shaky breath and sank down on the cot.
Confusion washed over her in tidal waves.
Snoke was dead. And yet, their Bond was alive and kicking. How?
A memory suddenly flashed before her eyes.
The interrogation. He had probed her mind gently, almost tenderly. She had turned the probe on him. Almost as if he had let her. Just to see how it would turn out. And she had reached into him, seen a part of him he kept hidden from everyone else.
Another flash. This time of their fight on Starkiller. The moment he had offered to teach her. The moment he mentioned the Force, she had closed her eyes and searched for it. And he had let her… He had waited her out, staring into her face and allowing her to find what she needed with patience and resolve.
When her eyes had opened, something significant had shifted. She had tapped in on her anger, let it fuel her. Almost as if he had guided her to do that.
After that, it seemed like something had slumbered. He had been on her mind constantly, although it was subconsciously.
Had their Force Bond been forged in that moment? Without Snoke?
She sighed deeply and felt exhaustion course through her like a river. She toed off her boots and lay down on the cot, not even bothering to remove her clothes. She simply pulled the blanket over her and allowed blissful slumber to overtake her. The last image that crossed her mind before darkness took over, was that of a pair of black eyes looking back at her with despair…