From The Beginning
Chapter 2
Screaming would come later.
XXX
The funeral home had honey oak colored paneling on the walls, with peaceful paintings dotting them here and there. Flowers sat in vases along tables in the foyer and in the business office. Calm music played softly in the background. None of it worked to cheer me up.
"My father's life insurance policy should be able to cover something decent." I handed Mr. Nordine, the funeral director, the policy which I had gotten out of the lock box from my parent's closet this morning. While I was there, I pulled out Mom's favorite dress and one of Dad's nicer suits, sliding them into a paper sack to deliver here for them.
In a cruel twist of irony, Dad had told me about his policy and their will, even showed them to me in the box a few months ago when he was looking for something else he'd had to do. At the time, I brushed it off. Now I was glad I had at least a hint of where to start.
Mr. Nordine looked over the papers, nodded, wrote something down and handed the policy back to me. "Depending on what you want, it can cover plenty. Lets start with place of internment. Did you have a place in mind?"
There wasn't exactly a whole lot of choice in that. West Lawn was on our side of town, older and more established with shade trees and traditional headstones. Eternity Hills, on the other hand, was on the West side of town. Very upscale; nicer, with manicured grass and landscaping - but no headstones. It was one of those new types of cemeteries - a memorial garden type of place that wanted everything flush with the ground. It wasn't my style, nor did I think my brothers would go for it.
"West Lawn." I answered. He nodded and picked up the phone. After a pause, he spoke with someone, then put the phone to his shoulder to speak to me.
"They have two places with joined plots available. One in section six facing the roadside, the other in section seventeen, towards the back of the cemetery near a willow tree. Do you have a preference?"
"Willow tree." Mom loved anything that bloomed and Dad liked the shade.
Mr. Nordine nodded, jotted something down about that, gave my answer to the person on the phone and hung up.
"They'll get that taken care of. Now, caskets..."
X
It had been a long few hours, picking out and arranging everything. Funny how so much attention is given to things that no one will see after someone gets buried. I was completely drained as I drove back home. I would have to find reserves, there were more problems waiting for me there.
I pulled up to find an unfamiliar white van sitting in my driveway. As I went inside, Steve and Two-Bit were standing in front of a woman and a man; Sodapop, Pony and Johnny behind them. Pony looked scared while behind Soda's stoic glare, I could see fear also hiding in his features.
"What's going on?" I demanded. The strangers turned to me.
"I'm Mrs. Dabner from the Tulsa Child Welfare Office. This is my colleague, Mr. Henshaw. It's come to our attention that there are unattended to minors here whose parents have recently passed away..."
"They ain't been unattended to ...." Steve started, but I cut him off.
"My brothers might be minors but I'm not. I'm nineteen, a legal adult. They've been in my custody since our parents were killed. Yesterday. Last night." If I had been less drained of emotion, I probably would have been angry that the State was here this soon. The fury would hit later.
The woman looked over her paperwork, a confused expression in her eyes. "And you are.....?"
"Darrel Curtis Junior."
"There were no adults here when we arrived, Mr. Curtis," she was quick to point out.
"They aren't kids," I started.
"And they weren't alone. I'm nineteen, also a legal adult. I've been here the whole time." Two-Bit threw at her, saving my ass.
She looked back at me. "Do you live here?"
"Yes."
"And you're willing to take responsibility for them until the hearing?"
"What hearing?" Soda barked.
I wasn't sure if she noticed Steve's hand come out a bit from his side, as if to hold Soda back should he try to step out from behind him.
"The hearing to decide custody. The district judge will decide permanent custody of you and your minor brother, Ponyboy." She answered him, checking her notes again.
"When's the hearing?" I asked. Again, her eyes searched the documents in her hand.
"The third of January."
"Yes, of course I am." I said, answering her question. I wasn't sure what was going down, but this broad and her buddy weren't taking my brothers out of this house without a fight. Judging by the way the guys were shielding Pony and Soda, they were of the same opinion.
"Sign here, please." She handed me a clipboard with legal mumbo jumbo on it, I glanced at it then signed the form. She handed me a copy, picked up her briefcase and left.
After they pulled away, everyone seemed to relax a bit.
"What was that all about?" I asked, looking around.
"She pulled up a few minutes ago, saying me and Pone were now wards of the state and had to go with her." Soda explained. I looked over at Ponyboy, who shook ever so slightly.
"Relax, buddy. Ain't no one taking you out of here." Two-Bit said to him while pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. Pony simply nodded.
"I told her we wasn't no wards, that you had gone out for a while but would be back. Then her buddy came in...."
"... and we sort of made it clear that if she wanted to take anyone, it would be after dealing with us first." Steve drolled, using Soda's shoulder to lean his elbow on. Soda grinned, but I could see he was still rattled.
Pony and Johnny headed out to the back stoop while I sat down a minute, trying to clear my own head. "Take the smokes outside." I said tiredly. Two-Bit headed out with Ponyboy and Johnny, leaving me with Steve and Soda.
"So how'd it go?" Soda asked carefully.
I felt older than I ever had. "Okay, I guess. The arrangements are done. Gave them their clothes, but really, I wasn't sure of the point of that. It's going to be a closed casket service." Soda paled, looking at me with a pained expression. I sighed, knowing this was tough on him too. "I uh, I scheduled it on the first. Sorry, buddy, but … really... it's what's best. Trust me." His hands shook some and Steve lit up a smoke of his own.
"C'mon, Sodapop, lets go outside for a few. Be back in a while, Darry."
I watched as Steve handed him the lit stick as they walked down the block. Soda was real tough but he wasn't invincible. I was pretty sure he'd been holding it in for Pony's sake. Out the back door, I could see Pony sitting hunched over his knees, a cigarette of his own dangling between his fingers. Johnny sat with him, neither of them saying a word while Two-Bit stood beside them against the railing; watching, protecting.
I glanced at the paper in my hands, a court summons. I'd need a lawyer. Dad's will dictated that I was to be guardian if something happened to my folks, but wasn't sure if that would be enough. I got the will out of my jacket, found the name of the attorney who prepared it and gave him a call.
"Mr. Carter?" I asked as the phone picked up. I told him what had happened, he expressed his condolences and invited me to his office in the morning to discuss everything. I felt a little better as I hung up the phone. Worn out still, but better. He sounded like he sincerely wanted to help. That was good, cause I was sure I was going to need it.
XXX
"Is there anything I can do, Darrel?" Mrs. Mathews asked for the third time.
"No, thank you. The lasagna smells great, it was nice of you to do this. Really. Thanks." I didn't know what to say. Two-Bit's mother got wind of what had happened and had stopped by to check on us, finding us emotionally devastated and barely functioning.
Pony was hunched down on the couch, staring into the fireplace while Sodapop sat against the wall on the floor. Neither had said much, and I was pretty sure neither had eaten. Pony looked like he hadn't showered at all, his hair just as messed up as it was this morning. Soda may have splashed water on his face, but a sandpapery beard dotted his chin. It would be pointless to ask them to eat. I doubt they'd even get up if I called them to the table. The rest of the gang was here, their presence felt but not hovering.
"Call me or send Two-Bit over if you need anything. Anything at all." She insisted with a slight hug, then left.
"I guess I'd better go home." Johnny softly jabbed Pony in the upper arm while getting up.
"If you need to stay here...." Pony started, but looked down before finishing.
"Come back if you need somewhere to stay tonight, Johnny." I murmured. Johnny nodded and headed out, flipping the collar of his denim jacket up against the cold.
Steve came out of the kitchen, scraping the last of whatever he was eating off the plate and into his mouth. The sound grated my nerves but I said nothing.
"You guys want company or want to be alone? Just say the word." he asked, swallowing whatever was in his mouth.
"We'll be fine. Thanks, Steve." Soda quietly said from his corner.
"You know where to find me if you need me. Night guys." He left his plate on the table and followed Johnny out.
XXX
"Morning, Darrel. I'm so sorry for your loss. Lets see what I can do."
Mr. Carter seemed to be a good man. He seemed in his thirties - still had the energy of a young guy but starting to show the lines of age. I sat down and looked around his office, a small room with shelf after shelf of legal books against one wall. I wondered if anyone ever really read those books or were they just a status symbol all lawyers had.
"I remember your father. He spoke of you and your brothers with lots of devotion. Your mother too. This was done up nearly a year ago, I think when you turned eighteen, right?"
I nodded. He sat at his desk, reading the documents while I continued my inventory of his room. It wasn't much.
"Well, it's all here in black and white. You can assume custody or, if you're not willing, you can let the State appoint a guardian for them, placing them in foster care. I'm going to be honest with you - I don't think either of your brothers would be adopted. People adopt babies, not teenagers. And, there's no guarantee they would even be kept together. They would, however, have food, clothes and shelter, have medical care and have access to an education until they were eighteen. It's up to you." He paused a moment while I tried to think of what to say. There had already been too many decisions to make, too much for me to remember. How did all this fall on me? "Aren't you in college?" He asked softly, studying me almost. "Your father had mentioned it...."
"Part time at the University. I'm working also for a construction company."
Mr. Carter looked down at his desk, his shoulders slumped some. "Let me give it to you straight. If you take custody, you will probably have to give up school for now. I'm not saying you have to - believe me, I understand how important it is. But, you'd be responsible for every bill that came in the house; the mortgage, clothes on their backs, food, medical. It's a lot to cover on a part time paycheck. But this is your decision. You have until the third to decide what you're going to do, but the sooner I have your answer, the sooner I can file whatever paperwork I'll need to with the judge.
I held the will in my hands, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. My boss had already asked me a few times if I wanted to go full time, and each time I'd turned him down, ecstatic to be the first in the family to actually make it to college. My football scholarship wasn't enough to cover full time expenses, so I'd agreed to stay at home and work part time to save up, taking only one class at a time until I could afford to go full time. Now this! I saw my dreams slipping away, but really, there wasn't a choice. Dad knew what he was doing. I had to trust that.
"No." I said huskily. "I'm not sending them away. File the papers. I'll take custody."
XXX
"Does this look right?" Ponyboy asked me. I turned to see what he was talking about. He stood in the doorway, trying to tie his necktie - but it looked more like a hangman's noose.
"Nup, better let me help you. C'mere."
He stood in front of me, both of us facing the mirror as I first undid the knot he'd made then flipped and tucked, then flipped and tucked the tie the right way. "There, now that's better." I said as I studied his reflection. At least he'd stopped crying, but his eyes were still red and his cheeks puffy. I gave his shoulders a slight squeeze as he nodded first, then walked out.
Soda was sitting on the couch, picking at some loose thread sticking out from its worn fabric. My old suit was loose on him, but I didn't have enough to get him and Pony a good suit. As it was, Soda got my old one, I wore the new one Dad had just bought me for my high school graduation last year, while Pony wore a new white shirt and a pair of black slacks with a somewhat matching jacket Two-Bit had come up with. Thankfully, everyone's shoes still fit.
"You guys ready?" I asked. Soda looked up and nodded, Pony getting his coat to wear over his dress up jacket. Soda hesitated with his coat... it was red and blue – bright and cheerful; too much for this somber day. He put it back, buttoning up his suit jacket instead.
"Lets go." I said, pulling on my wool coat, leading them outside.
The guys met us at the funeral home. Everyone was outside, huddling against the cold. I couldn't decide on where to have the service, Mom was catholic and Dad was Protestant. A part time Protestant, he'd joked, riling up Mom intentionally. So, I had Father Bryce come over from Mom's church and Rev. Monroe come over from Dad's. They'd gotten together with me two days ago to go over what we'd like. I didn't know. Something nice, I'd said. They'd looked at each other and at me, nodded, gave me a pat on my back and said they'd take care of it.
Two-Bit was there with his sister and mother, Johnny not far off. Even if Dallas hadn't been in the cooler for a week, I doubted he'd be here, this was most definitely not his scene. Steve, however, was there with Evie... Evie there for Sandy and Sandy there for Sodapop. My own gal, Cindy, wasn't anywhere around. I guess I was done seeing her.
Tim hovered over by the door, smoking on a cigarette. He'd nodded at me when he caught my eye, I nodded back. There wasn't much else to say, and besides, I was pretty tired of talking for the time being.
I recognized Dad's boss and assumed the woman standing by his side was his wife. It was nice of him to show up, but I hadn't called him. I wondered if I was supposed to? Under the overhang huddled several ladies I recognized as Mom's friends from the church. I think they were in the choir. Mom didn't work, always saying her job was to raise three boys into men, and that was hard enough! She said she was paid with chocolate kisses and sticky hugs, but that was payment a-plenty for her.
Sodapop and Ponyboy stood huddling just outside of the car, neither wanting to walk toward the building. No one would go in before we did, and we couldn't stand out here freezing all day. Not like it would change anything. "Ready?"
"I don't want to go in there." Pony said softly.
"I know, Pone. But it's something we have to do." I told him, shutting the truck door behind him. He looked down, not budging.
"Just stick with me, Ponyboy. You'll be okay. We'll get through this together. Just lean on me. C'mon." Soda nudged Pony with his elbow, starting his feet toward the door. On our way in, I shook Dad's boss's hand, thanking him for coming and nodding my greeting toward the ladies.
Once inside, the small service room was decorated simply, a few flowers placed near the podium and a bouquet for each of the caskets. Mom and Dad's caskets lay at the front of the room, side by side, each closed. I heard a small squeak next to me and looked over, Pony's eyes were dribbling tears. I should have prepared him for this, but honestly, I didn't know how. I took him under one arm while Soda had his other, and somehow, we made it up to the front to sit.
Father Bryce spoke of Mom's graceful love of music which paled only to her love for us, while Rev. Monroe spoke of Dad's hard work and dedication to his family. The choir ladies sang Amazing Grace, one of Mom's favorite songs to play on the piano.
It didn't take long before Sodapop was crying just as hard as Ponyboy. Throughout the service, I kept looking over at the guys - both their faces red, tears saturating their cheeks and small sobs escaping when they couldn't hold it in. It broke my heart, but I stayed as calm as I could. I kept my hands in my pockets, concentrating on the pain my nails gave my palms as I dug them into my skin. Otherwise, I'd have lost it along with the guys, and that wouldn't have helped matters at all.
When it was over, we got back in my truck and headed over to West Lawn, their plots dug up and ready. The earth above bare, I'd yet to pick out a headstone. Money was too tight and time too short. Sodapop had one arm around Ponyboy, holding him tightly as the minister gave his final remarks, Pony's eyes shut with his head leaning on Soda's shoulder. He wasn't even trying to hold it in anymore. Two-Bit put one arm on his other shoulder while Steve stepped a little closer to Soda. Again, Johnny huddled nearby, looking just as lost and forlorn as ever.
The caskets were lowered and I turned the guys back toward the car. Throughout, I managed to hold it in. Inside, I wanted to scream.
Screaming would come later.
XXX
Calla Lily Rose