Author's Note:
:checks calendar: Oops! I am a little later, aren't I? Sorry! I was in Rome (WOOTYAYAWESOMENESSHOORAYTIMEOFMYLIFEWOOHOO!) so I couldn't update! Sorry! But, here is the next chapter now, better a little late than never or extremely late, right? (Maybe I'll post an extra chapter to make up for the lateness…we'll see).
I would like to apologize for the abruptness of endings of the chapters. See, I am writing this in one big file, then cutting the sections out and setting them up to post each time, so there aren't very many natural breaks. Some, and I will try to use them as much as possible, but a lot of time things will end and then pick up several minutes later in the next update…
Yeesh! I'm not very coherent today, am I?
Ah well. Thanks everyone for your awesome reviews! I haven't been flamed yet! I'm happy:) Enjoy!
EDIT
This chapter contains the entire Random Chaos section!
Worlds Fall Apart Random Chaos"RAAAAANMAAAAAA!" Came the furious yell from the dining room. But it was not as loud as it could have been, as it would have been were Ranma still in the dining room. No, Ranma was currently running down the street, hurdling fences as fast as his legs would carry him away from the Tendo dojo. Sure he would have to face Akane's wrath later, but better her wrath than her cooking.
Only a few more fences until I get to school, then I'm home free! Ranma thought happily, looking over his shoulder to be sure Akane wasn't following him. He smiled and laughed when he saw she wasn't, and turned back around to look at the towering blue-gray building that would be his sanctuary. Well, sort of. Unfortunately, he never quite made it there as he ran full force into someone who had been standing in the road in front of the school.
It was a male someone. That someone had shaggy black hair and a yellow bandana. He had a huge pack and had been mumbling, "Now where am I? The map says Okinawa post office should be five kilometers to the East…" And now that that someone he had run into was sprawled on the floor under Ranma's feet, he did NOT look happy.
"Ryoga! How's it going?" Ranma jeered, then just to be infuriating he said, "What'cha doing on the ground?"
"Ranma you jerk!" Ryoga roared as he jumped up with such force Ranma was sent flying backwards, only to land perfectly elegantly on a nearby fence, "Leave it to you to follow me all the way to Okinawa just to make fun of me!"
"Ryoga," Ranma sighed mockingly, "Turn around,"
Ryoga glared at Ranma, shaking with rage and turned to see the sign that said Furinkan High School. "Oh," he replied dumbly, turning red.
"Why do you always have to be blaming me for your problems?" Ranma said, jumping off the fence and onto Ryoga's head, then back to the ground, "Huh, P-Chan?"
"Augh! Ranma! Prepare to die!" Ryoga shouted, and then lunged at Ranma lightening fast, pulling out his umbrella, powered by his rage and frustration for the cocky pigtailed boy he was locked in a seemingly endless rivalry with.
Ranma dodged him easily and even managed to pull a face while he was in the air. Ryoga lunged again, only to be dodged once more. Before he got a chance to strike again, a furious yell was heard in the nearby streets.
"RAAAAANMA!" came Akane's voice, floating angrily over the rooftops as she barreled after him.
"Sorry, Pig Boy!" Ranma said as he flipped over Ryoga, tipping his head with his fingers in the air, "Gotta run!"
"Ranma, come back here!" Ryoga shouted as he chased after Ranma's retreating form, "Don't you dare run away! We aren't finished yet!" But he made it only as far as the front gate of the school before the Principal slammed the gate in his face and said in that ludicrously overdone Hawaiian accent, "Sorry, coco! You no go to school, you no enter school! Ha Ha!"
"Fine!" Ryoga shouted, "I'll be waiting here, Ranma! Then you won't be able to run away from our fight!"
"G'mornin', Ryoga!" Akane said as she skidded to a halt in front of the school, "Have you see, Ranma?"
"Akane!" Ryoga said, startled out of his anger and jumping instantly into his hopelessly awkward and shy guy routine that was reserved especially for Akane, "I…uh…heh heh…Hi! How are you?"
"I'm good," Akane said, "But I'm in a hurry, have you seen Ranma?"
"That coward…er…Ranma went into school," Ryoga said dejectedly. Ranma, Ranma, Ranma! Always about Ranma with her! Every time I try and tell her how I feel, how my heart stops and the world itself stands still whenever I am in her presence, all she can do is talk about Ranma! Ryoga silently bewailed.
"Thanks!" Akane smiled, and hopped off and into school.
"Oh, Akane…" Ryoga said as he watched her retreating form, "There can be no other woman for me…"
Let's see…Ranma thought as he tapped his pencil anxiously on his desk during history class, his last class of the day, Kuno challenged me in the hall, but he'll probably wait until sunset before he tries to fight me, or possibly tomorrow morning. Daisuke warned me that Shampoo has some new lame brained scheme to try and get me to date her. Akane is giving me the silent treatment…heh, a welcome relief. Ryoga said he'd be waiting for me after school, but the poor shmuck will probably get lost while he's pacing out front, so I won't have to fight him for at least three weeks. Ukyo doesn't seem too dangerous right now, so maybe I can stop by her restaurant for some peace, quiet, and okinomiyaki…
"So Ranma, is it true you agreed to go on a date with Shampoo?" Hiros$hi whispered while the teacher was writing on the blackboard.
"What?" Ranma nearly shouted, then lowered his voice and leaned in, "Of course not! Where the heck'd you hear something crazy like that?"
"The whole school's saying it!" Hiroshi said, "So you really aren't?"
"No, you know I don't like that crazy Amazon! She's a real pain!" Ranma confirmed.
"Ranma, just so you know, I heard that from Shinobu who heard it from Kagome who says Shampoo told her," the girl behind Ranma whispered.
"And you know Kagome," another girl added, "She's a real gossip queen!"
"Oooooh," Ranma said, and sat back up in his chair. He knew what she was trying to pull. Honestly, this is one of her lamest attempts yet! He thought, shaking his head, She must be running out of ideas…
RING!
"Finally!" Ranma shouted, jumping up and over a few desks, ready to make a sprint for freedom only to be halted rather rudely at the door by an outraged Akane with a battle aura so big no one in the class, including the teacher, was willing to pass her.
"Where do you think you're going?" Akane demanded.
"Well, I was thinking to go get some food, then maybe head home for dinner, then probably get some training in…" Ranma began, knowing full well where this was going.
"Oh, come off it! You're going on a date with Shampoo, aren't you?" Akane said angrily.
"Geez, Akane! You know me better than that! This is just her latest ploy, you know I'd never date her!" Ranma insisted.
"You…you…liar! Hentai! Jerk!" Akane raged, slamming down a mallet angrily as Ranma dove out of the way repeatedly.
"Didn't you hear a word I said?" he demanded, "I ain't going on a date with Shampoo!"
"You're not?" Akane asked innocently, staying he mallet hand.
"Of course I'm not! Don't be ridiculous!" Ranma laughed, and was very happy to see Akane's rage subsiding considerably.
"Ranma! Time for our date! You come with Shampoo now, kay?" Shampoo said as she dove onto Ranma and hung from his neck shamelessly.
"You're not going on a date with her, huh?" Akane stormed, and was soon chasing Ranma around the classroom once more.
"Ally Oop!" Ranma shouted as he dove out the window, Shampoo still clinging to his neck, and landed on the branch of a tree.
"Good! Now Ranma and Shampoo be alone without that nasty Akane!"
"Oh, shut up, will you?" Ranma said, "I ain't gonna date you and you know that!"
"But…but you said you would! You not going back on your word, are you?" Shampoo demanded angrily.
Ranma sighed and put his head in his hands, "Shampoo, I expected better from you, but this trick is just lame! Starting a rumor around school saying I agreed to date you in hopes that I would forget and go along with it? You really must be out of ideas, huh?"
Shampoo stood stunned, staring at Ranma. He usually wasn't this clever. But little did she know that it had been nearly a year that he was putting up with these shenanigans from everyone, and he was becoming quite good at it. He could smell a deception a mile away. Spot a disguise, not matter how well put together. Heck, he could even decipher the complicated thought processes of all his friends, enemies, and those he wasn't sure what they were to him, which admittedly was most of them. Yes, Ranma was finally learning to cope with the chaos. He was becoming wise to the weirdness. He was in tune to the insanity. And a million other alliterations.
"Sorry, Shampoo!" Ranma said, "It's not gonna work! Later!"
"Ranma! Wait!" She cried, but it was no use, he was gone, and she was simply too stunned to remember to chase after him, "Damn! And I was sure that one work too!"
Right outside the front gates, Ranma landed, wiped the sweat from his brow after his great escape, and prepared to head for home. He figured it was too risky to go to Ukyo's now, and besides, he had to apologize to Akane so she wouldn't keep trying to kill him whenever she saw him, and if he wasn't home right away, it'd be harder to convince her he hadn't been on a date with Shampoo. That's right, just a few blocks until he was home, waiting for Kasumi's delicious dinner, vegging out in front of the TV, and…
"Ranma! How dare you hurt Akane like that!" Ryoga shouted as he dove at Ranma.
Ranma dove out of the way just in time and said in surprise, "Ryoga! You're still here?"
"Of course, where do you think I would have gone?" he shouted back.
"I dunno, thought you'd have wandered off by now," Ranma shrugged.
"Ha! Like I'd ever run off from a man to man fight!" Ryoga sneered.
"Well, actually…" Ranma began, but stopped short as he jumped over Ryoga's steel umbrella. Ah well, it's pointless to try and explain that it was HIM that ran out on our
fight and not me, I've tried a thousand times! Ranma thought.
"Enough talking and fight!" Ryoga shouted.
"And why are we fighting this time?" Ranma wondered as he ducked another blow.
"Because you hurt Akane!" Ryoga said as he lunged forward.
"And how'd I do that?" Ranma asked as he sidestepped.
"By agreeing to date Shampoo after school today!" Ryoga accused him as he aimed a kick to his face.
"Oh, I'm dating Shampoo after school today?" Ranma wondered curiously as he tilted his head nonchalantly to the side to avoid the kick.
"Don't play dumb with me!" Ryoga demanded, twirling his umbrella overhead and bringing it down to where Ranma was standing.
"Funny," Ranma said as he jumped out of the way, "Cause it seems a lot like I am fighting you after school today,"
Ryoga stopped, umbrella still in the air for his next attack, and blinked.
"See, maybe if you'd listen or stop to think once in a while!" Ranma said, "You're just like Akane! Always jumping to conclusions! You two were practically made for each
other!"
This, of course, had sealed the deal. Ryoga's eyes got all big and shiny and he said, "You…you…you think so? Made for each other?"
"Uh huh," Ranma said, "You're both stubborn, angry, slow…"
"How dare you just toss her aside like that!" Ryoga shouted suddenly, and attacked once more.
The attack was so sudden it caught Ranma off guard, and he managed to back step, but just barely, and had to continue stepping backwards to avoid all further attacks. Ryoga had him at his advantage now.
"Let…me…get…this…straight…" Ranma said in between his dodges and back steps, "You are angry when I want Akane, and angry when I don't want her?"
"It's not fair to poor Akane!" Ryoga said, "Besides, it's the way you say it!"
Ranma winced. Ryoga had a point there, it wasn't fair for him to keep dragging Akane along like this, never admitting to having feelings but never denying them either. "How I say it?" he wondered instead because it was a far easier topic.
"You either…insult her…treat her like dirt…or act like…a…pervert!" Ryoga said, then grunted as he swing his umbrella forward and nailed Ranma right in the stomach. Ranma went flying backwards, and as his luck would have it, right into a fountain.
"Damnit, Ryoga! What'd you do that for?" Ranma said when she surfaced, red haired, big bosomed, and thoroughly wet.
"Do you even love her?" Ryoga asked, suddenly somber and no longer looking remotely like he wanted to fight.
"What?" Ranma asked, startled by the question.
"Just tell me, I'm just curious. Do you even love her?" Ryoga said again, his eyes and face all serious. He was now in his sappy, depressed mood and no longer looked angry. Ranma wasn't sure which was worse…Now Ranma had to humor him or he'd want to fight even more. And all Ranma wanted to do was eat dinner. He certainly did NOT want to discuss questions he didn't know the answer to.
"Well, I…I don't know," Ranma said finally, blinking at Ryoga from her wet blue eyes. Ranma shook her head and stood up, wringing out her clothes before getting out of the fountain.
"It's not a hard question! You either do or you don't!" Ryoga said, "Which is it?"
"Look, maybe it's not a hard question for you," Ranma snapped, "But…it is for me, okay?"
Ranma shook her head and turned to leave. She had had enough of this. She'd answered his stupid question as honestly as she could, and now she was going home. She was wet, uncomfortable, tired, and her stomach was starting to hurt from hunger and also where Ryoga had hit her.
"Why?" Ryoga asked.
Ranma sighed and turned around. She had so been hoping he would have just dropped it. "Why, what, Ryoga?"
"Why is it such a hard question?" Ryoga asked.
"Well…because…it just is okay?" Ranma said, but this didn't appear to be answer enough for Ryoga, and she said, "Sometimes…it's just...I think she's cute and all, you know, on occasion. And I care what she thinks, I can't deny that. And I want to protect her…but, I don't know. Maybe we're just friends? Maybe we're something more. I don't know…maybe too many people expect me to love her…so I think I do…or maybe I think I don't…I don't know."
"If you care so much about her, then why do you hurt her?" Ryoga asked.
"I don't mean too. Well, I don't try particularly hard not to, but…look, it's just our way, okay? I think it passed into good-natured bickering a long time ago. We just do it out of habit, mostly. When it gets serious, I do try and be nicer…"
"If you don't really love her, you should let her go. Stop tying her up and forcing her to be your fiancée," Ryoga said.
"Hey! Nobody's forcing anybody…well, our parents are, but that's not our fault!" Ranma snapped, "And why don't you butt out, P-Chan! You're just telling me this so that as soon as she's free you can swoop in like a hawk and take her for your own!"
Ryoga grimaced and began to turn red with anger again. Man do that boys moods change fast! Ranma thought, Manic Depressive much? Ryoga lunged at Ranma again, and Ranma began the dance of the dodge like before.
"Come on, Ryoga! Quit it! I don't feel like fighting right now!" Ranma said. And it was the truth. Ryoga's sudden little "talk" had gotten him thinking, and it was never good to fight when you had something else on your mind. It made you sloppy. That was Ryoga's problem. He always fought when he was furiously angry or something, so he couldn't concentrate as well. That's why he could never master the Hirou Shoten Ha. You couldn't have even a trace of battle aura for it to work.
Ryoga ignored Ranma, continuing to strike with his steel umbrella, so Ranma chose a different approach. A fun approach. An approach that would surely invoke Ryoga's wrath further, but would be damn funny at the moment. She jumped backwards and fell to the ground, then began to wail loudly in as girly a cry as she could muster, "Oh! Ow! No! Ryoga! Stop! Please! Don't hit me! I'm just a frail, innocent girl! Please stop! Ow! Wah!"
Ryoga stopped instantly when Ranma began to cry out and hissed, "What are you doing?"
"Ohhhhh! Ow! Please! Please don't hit me anymore!" Ranma continued, curled into the most pathetic ball on the floor she could manage.
"Ranma! Stop! People are starting to look!" Ryoga begged, glancing nervously at the concerned stares of passerby.
"I'm sorry! Please don't hit me, Ryoga! I'll never question you again! Please forgive me!"
"RANMA! Stop! Please!" Ryoga was begging in as low a voice as he could, "They're gonna think…come on! Stop! Please!"
"Say you'll forgive me! Say you won't hurt me anymore!" Ranma said, raising her eyebrows deviously at Ryoga from the ground. This little bit of humiliation is SO worth it to see his face! Ranma thought.
"I-I-I forgive you…" Ryoga said.
"And?"
"And I…I won't hurt you anymore," He continued, blushing the deepest red possible and glancing awkwardly at the crowd that was forming around them now.
Ranma grinned when she saw that people were, indeed, watching them rather concernedly now, and decided to go for the final blow, "Do you…:sniff:…do you still love me?"
"WHAT?" Royga practically shouted, "Have you gone completely out of your mind?"
Ranma began to wail pathetically again, and was pleased to see a group of young women shaking their heads in disgust at Ryoga nearby.
"Honestly, the nerve of men these days! They have no idea how to treat a lady anymore!" an older woman said.
"I think it may be more serious than that," another woman said, "Perhaps we should call the police?"
Ranma whined again and managed to disguise her laughter as a whimper.
"Okay, okay, I do, I'm sorry, I forgive you, please get up!" Ryoga said hurriedly, practically begging now.
"You do what?" Ranma said coaxingly.
Ryoga stared at her, open mouthed, too appalled to speak.
"Well?" Ranma said, thoroughly pleased with how well this plan was working. And I just wanted to get him to stop fighting me! Now it looks like he won't be able to even look at me! Well, I'm not complaining!
"Loveyou," Ryoga whispered hurriedly, seventeen different shades of red.
"What's that? I didn't hear you, honey!" Ranma said.
"I said I love you, okay? Now get up! Quit it already!" Ryoga practically shouted, face redder and redder by the moment with embarrassment.
As a grand finale, Ranma jumped up and slung her arms around Ryoga's neck coquettishly. The crowd cheered, and Ryoga pushed her off, then turned and stormed away angrily. Ranma couldn't blame him, it was a rather evil thing to do. But then again, she didn't really care! It was downright hilarious!
"Ryoga! Oh, Ryoga dear!" Ranma called out as she chased after him. Admittedly, she should have dropped it by then. It had served its purpose, Ryoga no longer wanted to fight. Now he just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. But could Ranma leave it at that? No! Of course not!
"You…you…JERK!" Ryoga shouted as he spun around, "You have no shame, do you? You always go on about hating your stinking curse, then every little scrape you get into you can't WAIT to jump at the opportunity to use it against your enemies! You are so dishonorable! You're cheap! You're a coward! You are no man!"
"Harsh words, Pig Boy!" Ranma said, "But hey, there is nothing wrong with using my weaknesses to my advantage! And besides…it' SO funny to watch your squirm like that!"
Ryoga began to positively shake with anger, then growled out, "Ranma….HOW DARE YOU! Come back here! I'm going to kill you!" And chased after Ranma all the way to the Tendo Dojo.
"I'm going to kill him!" Akane growled as she slammed the knife onto the cutting board, making a rather large, uneven chunk of carrot fly into the back of Kasumi's head.
"Ow!" Kasumi said, jumping a little.
"Oh no! Kasumi! I'm so sorry!" Akane said, picking up the carrot and throwing it away, "Are you alright? Did it hit you hard?"
"I'm fine," Kasumi said, rubbing the back of her head slightly, but smiling at her younger sister, "Just…try not to be so angry. Maybe if you weren't angry when you were cooking your food wouldn't be…you wouldn't make as many mistakes,"
"But, I'm not ALWAYS angry," Akane said, trying her hardest to look sweet, innocent, and un-enraged, but the act failed miserably when Ranma walked into the back door.
"Sorry, I'm late. Ryoga wouldn't leave me alone and…Akane!" Ranma said, backing away swiftly. She was in the kitchen, which meant she was near the food, which was never a food sign. But besides that, she was still angry with him and she was currently holding a knife.
"RAAAANMA!" Akane shouted, "Where have you been?"
"Ryoga held me up! I swear! I wasn't on a date with Shampoo! You gotta believe me!" Ranma begged.
"It's true," Nabiki said as she walked into the kitchen, always managing to appear at the first sign of trouble, "I saw him and Ryoga in town,"
"Oh, so you tell Shampoo you'll date her, then you ditch her to fight with poor Ryoga? That doesn't make it any better!" Akane practically screeched.
"What? That's not how it happened! First of all, I never said I would date her, she made it up! And second of all, Ryoga picked a fight with ME!" Ranma said, "God! You are so…so…"
"What am I?" Akane glared.
"Un cute!" Ranma shouted recklessly, "And slow! And…and…Akane! Put down the knife!"
"Akane!" Kasumi scolded her. Damn, Akane thought, I forgot Kasumi was here! She never lets me get away with giving Ranma what he deserves.
"Sorry, Kasumi," Akane said, and looked sheepishly at the ground.
"Don't apologize to me, apologize to Ranma. And Ranma, you should apologize too! You two are fiancées! You should be nice to each other, not fight all the time!" Kasumi scolded gently.
Ranma and Akane glared at each other, but Kasumi was a very hard person to disobey, and with a little gentle coaxing, they apologized. Ranma, for one, was glad. He could now have that evening of peace and quiet he so desperately…
"RANMA! How dare you run out on our fight after you…" Ryoga shouted as burst through the kitchen door.
"Why, hello Ryoga!" Kasumi said politely.
"Hi, Kasumi," Ryoga replied, "Ranma! Do you think you can just humiliate me then run away!"
"How did you even find your way BACK here?" Ranma asked in exasperation.
"I followed you," Ryoga said, "But that's not the point, the point is…"
"Humiliated? Ranma, what did you do to him?" Akane wondered accusingly.
Ryoga turned red, and laughed nervously, "Heh heh…nothing,. Did I say humiliated? I meant…annoyed. He annoyed me. And…erm…made fun of me…that's all. Nothing unusual,"
"Really?" Nabiki said, "You looked pretty embarrassed when you had to tell Ranma you loved him,"
Ryoga practically turned to stone and froze up. Great! Thanks a lot, Nabiki! Now Akane knows! Oh God! I should just curl up and DIE! This is so embarrassing! This is all Ranma's fault! I will never forgive him for this! Ryoga thought.
"Ranma!" Akane said, "You know it's not nice to use your girl side to tease Ryoga!"
"Aww, come one, Akane! I was just playing around!" Ranma said, smiling disarmingly.
"Well, maybe YOU see it like that, but Ryoga is a sensitive guy! You could be hurting his feelings, right Ryoga? Ryoga?" Akane tried, but poor Ryoga was still to frozen with mortification
When he finally did snap out of it, it was only to say, in that horribly overdramatic way he has, "Good bye, Akane! We may never see each other again!" and then run out the doorway.
"Well, we won't see him for three weeks," Ranma said jokingly as she went for the kettle to borrow some water.
"Ranma! I think you really hurt his feelings!" Akane scolded.
"He was asking for it," the now male Ranma shrugged.
"It's really unfair the way you treat him, you know," Akane said, shaking her head.
"What do you mean?" Ranma asked.
"I mean, he's traveling all the time, so he doesn't really have many friends. I'd say you are the closest friend he has, and you are always picking fights with him, so he probably thinks you hate him!" Akane explained.
Ranma blanched. Not because of Ryoga, but because what Akane had said reminded him of what Ryoga had said earlier. We've been engaged almost a year now…I really…we should really talk about this…Ranma thought, I mean, it won't be too long before our parents try to get us married…again…for real this time, and I really need to know how I feel…and how she feels. Ah man, I bet that won't be fun! Then he realized Akane was still staring at him, so he shot off the most sarcastic, "Yeah, poor Ryoga, my very best friend. I really oughta treat him to ice cream and a movie more often to show I care. Pfft!"
Then, Ranma receded into the quiet of his room, hoping the shenanigans for the day had been worn out. Of course, they would start again tomorrow, but for a few hours, at least, he would have peace…Or maybe the Akane thing would plague his mind so thoroughly he wouldn't be able to lie still. Damnit! This is all Ryoga's stupid fault! Ranma cursed, bringing it up and making me think about it and all…but he's right. I really have to figure this out. Our Dads are up to something, and whatever it is, it can not be good…so I had better figure this out soon…
Ranma got up off the floor, and went into the kitchen. Akane had (Thank God) given up on helping with the meal that night, and was nowhere to be seen.
"Kasumi, I'm going for a walk, do you need anything at the store?" Ranma asked.
"Why thank you, Ranma! How sweet!" Kasumi said, "Yes, I could use some more onions, we hardly have any left, would you pick some up for me?"
"Sure thing, be back soon," Ranma said, and walked out the door and towards the store. Of course, he did not intend to solve his problem with onions. But he did have a plan. He would stop somewhere in town, maybe a magic shop, or a Chinese remedies store, and ask for their help. He could ask Cologne, but if he told her what it was for she would probably poison him with some love potion. Actually, even if he didn't tell he what it was for, she'd probably poison him with some love potion. Besides, he wanted to keep this a secret….if Akane found out…
"Ling Chao's Magical Herbs and Remedies" Ranma read, "They might be able to help me here,"
As he walked into the store, he browsed the shelves for a moment, feeling very awkward and out of place in a store like that, before going to the front desk.
"Hi," he said nervously once he got there, very glad that he had never seen the clerk before, making this conversation a lot easier, "I was wondering if you had…if you could help me…"
"What do you need?" the man asked politely.
"Well, I don't know yet…" Ranma admitted, "I think I need a truth serum…or something,"
"Girlfriend been unfaithful?" The clerk wondered with a wink.
"No, nothing like that," Ranma said, "The thing is…there's this girl…and our parents engaged us a long time ago, before we were born probably, and we don't got any say in it, and it's a real pain, but I don't know, I think I may love her, but maybe I don't, and maybe I do but I don't want to give Pop the satisfaction, or maybe I only think I do cause everyone expects it…I don't know…And I need to know because we're getting older and they are going to marry us soon, I think they are planning something cause they keep going out and coming back looking all suspicious, and…"
"I have just the thing!" the clerk laughed, holding up his hands, "Essence of Clarity. It is a rare and unique formula that takes three decades to brew. Very valuable, very dangerous if used improperly. One dose of this and a session of meditation, and your mind will be clear on any issue bothering you,"
"Perfect…" Ranma breathed out quietly as he gently took the bottle.
"It is quite expensive normally," the clerk said awkwardly, "But I can see you have great need of it, so I will cut you as much of a break as possible. It's not likely that I will sell it for a while anyway. You can have it for 10,000 yen,"
"10,000 yen!" Ranma groaned. He had it, but barely. That practically wiped out his entire savings. Well, I guess I'd better…I need to settle this once and for all… "Fine…" he said, "It's a deal,"
"You won't regret it m'boy!" The clerk said, taking Ranma's money, "Let me go get you a bag and some proper wrapping,"
Ranma nodded and waited at the desk while the store clerk disappeared. Soon, everything is gonna be clear…for once…
Ranma shifted his weight anxiously as he waited for the clerk to return. The whole concept was just too much for him…soon, everything would be clear. There would be no more confusion; maybe he could even get the chaos to stop, or at least ease up a bit. I mean, a lot of this is probably because I can't make up my mind, right? I mean, if it turns out I do love her, and we…get married…then, well, everyone will have to stop chasing us, right? Ranma was so lost in his thoughts that he hardly noticed someone come in the door.
"Ranma?" someone said, and it startled Ranma so much he nearly hit the ceiling and knocked over a display case with colorful crystals and glass vials.
"Mousse!" Ranma breathed, his heart pounding. He had so been hoping not to run into anyone, he really didn't want to explain what he was doing. At least it was just Mousse, and not Shampoo or Kodachi or Kuno or someone horribly difficult. "What are you doing here?" Ranma asked awkwardly.
"Picking up some Blessed Chamomile for Shampoo and Ukyo, they are doing some sort of project, and Shampoo asked me to pick up some ingredients," Mousse explained, practically swelling with pride and joy that Shampoo wanted his help.
"Well, then you probably want to give them this," Ranma said, and grabbed a box of Blessed Chamomile and took the box Mousse was holding, "And not Cursed Frog Legs,"
Mousse put on his glasses in surprise and looked carefully at the boxes, "Oh…ummm…thanks,"
"No problem, man," Ranma replied, glad to see he caught Mousse on a good day. He was really a reasonable guy when Shampoo wasn't involved or…well, around at all.
"Say, what are you doing here?" Mousse asked.
"Me? Huh? Oh! Nothing!" Ranma said, stepping on front of the small vial of Essence of Clarity just as Mousse began to squint at the label, "Kasumi needed some…erm…lavendar…for a tea she is making, and she said this shop has the best quality,"
"Okay," Mousse said skeptically.
Just then the storeowner came back and said, "Here's a box for you. Now, make sure to read the directions COMPLETELY, it is very important,"
"Yeah, sure, thanks!" Ranma called as he practically ran out of the door, thoroughly shaken. I don't even know what I have to feel guilty about! Ranma thought to himself as he ran home, Geez! My heart is pounding! I guess it's just 'cause everything's gonna be clear soon. I won't have any more questions or doubts…Everything is going to fall into place…
I can't believe I forgot the onions! Ranma scolded himself again as he set up multiple candles and incense in the dojo. He hung a sign on the door that said "Do Not Disturb" and seriously hoped that was enough to keep people out of his hair for an hour or so.
"Okay, I think I got everything," he said as he checked over the list, "Burn Frankincense in the four corners of an empty room. Place candles between the burning incense. Place a mat of leaves in the center of the room and an oil burner in front of it. Place three drops of Essence of Clarity on the oil burner. Light the oil burner then meditate for one hour. Anything in your mind that is unclear will be revealed to you in perfect clarity. Got it all."
Ranma put the three drops of the Essence of Clarity on the oil burner and sat down on the mat of leaves, legs crossed. He skimmed over the rest of the book, "Do not let yourself be disturbed, never under any circumstances mix Essence of Clarity with love potions, sleeping potions, paralysis potions, other clarity potions, yadda yadda yadda, come on! What are the chances of that! Time to get this thing over with…"
And with that, he put down the booklet and began his breathing techniques, clearing his mind, trying hard to control his quickly beating heart. It's all gonna be over soon. Soon, everything is going to change…
And oh how right he was. After that day, nothing would ever be the same for Ranma Saotome. It would never be the same for Genma Saotome, Akane Tendo, Ryoga Hibiki, Tatewaki Kuno, Kodachi Kuno, Uokyo Kuonji, Shampoo, Mousse, Cologne, and all the other colorful characters that had become such a large and prominent part of Ranma Saotome's life.
Just as the sun began to go down outside, Ranma passed into a deeper level of meditation. And just as the scent of the Essence of Clarity, a flowery and fruity smell with a hint of bitterness, reached his nose, just as the mass of jumbled thoughts and emotions in Ranma's head began to rearrange themselves into some sort of sense, Ranma's world began to fall apart.
And it began with a bang. A bang followed by a crash, and followed by Shampoo and Ukyo storming into the dojo and lunging towards Ranma. Both girls were carrying ceramic bowls, and both girls threw those bowls to the ground in front of Ranma. The contents seemed to explode and form curls of smoke in the air.
"What the-" Ranma began, feeling strange as his meditation was broken and his thoughts began to jumble once more.
"That's right, Ranma-honey!" Ukyo said, "Breathe in my clarity potion and tell her I'm the one you love most!"
"No! Ranma breathe in Shampoo's potion and Ranma say he love Shampoo most!" Shampoo said.
"Hey! Why is your potion pink?" Ukyo said suddenly, "You little…you mixed in a love potion, didn't you?"
"No!" Shampoo said, "Why Shampoo play dirty trick like that?"
"You did! That's it! If you can't fight fair, neither will I!" Ukyo said, and reached for her spatula, but never got that far.
She was instantly crushed by a manically laughing figure twirling a ribbon psychotically in the air. "Hahahahahahahahahaha!" Kodachi laughed, "Oh Ranma, dear! I have come to take you away from these spinsters and bring you to my home!" And she instantly dove at him and forced a cup of liquid down his throat.
"Kodachi! Gah! Wha…Oh no! Was that…paralysis potion?" Ranma asked in confusion.
But he got no answer because just at that moment, Kuno barged in and began to rebuke his sister for her inappropriate affection for the foul sorcerer Saotome and to inquire as to where his lovely pig tailed Goddess was and to shake Ranma demanding he set her free so they can reunite in their love. But his demands were interrupted when Ryoga stormed in shouting, "Prepare to die Ranma! I will not suffer this humiliation!" But he never even reached his umbrella before Mousse was grabbing him and shouting, "My darling, Shampoo!" Soon, Akane was in the room shouting, "What on Earth is going on here! Ranma you idiot! Why do you always have to make such a mess!"
Things erupted into a general free for all, and no one seemed to notice that Ranma simply sat there, knuckles white and hands bleeding as he gripped the broken ceramics on the ground in pain. In his head there was a free for all, but it was of an entirely different sort. Images of all manner of things were flashing wildly through his head, too fast for him to make sense of them. The colors were blindingly bright, the sounds deafeningly loud,. The smells nauseatingly realistic, and what's worse, it was all beginning to make his head pound. The images began to meld together and to linger and shoot across the picture in his mind, and his head began to throb and pound and a sharp pain shot through him. He clenched his eyes shut so hard tears pricked the corners, and he was pretty sure the ceramic piece was a good way into his hand by now, but he was too confused, his mind moving too rapidly to notice the pain. It just got lost with every other sensation he was having. He seemed to be experiencing every sight, sound, thought, smell, taste, and feeling he had ever experienced in his life, and some he was sure he had never experienced before all at once. He began to moan as the pain grew unbearable.
"Hahahahaha! Brother dear! Your pigtailed Goddess is nothing more than a fickle hussy! It is thoroughly ridiculous!" Kodachi said.
"No, fool sister, it is you affection for the foul Saotome that is ridiculous!" Kuno roared.
"You are both ridiculous! And sick!" Ryoga said to them.
"I can't believe you put a love potion in that!" Ukyo shouted, swinging her spatula at Shampoo, "You cheated! We swore no tricks when we decided to make the clarity potion! This was supposed to be fair and square!"
"Shampoo love Ranma too much to take any chances!" Shampoo said.
"Oh so you admit he must love me more then?" Ukyo replied.
"He loves neither of you! Ranma-darling has eyes only for me!" Kodachi shouted.
"What are you guys doing in my house! You are going to destroy our dojo!" Akane screeched, "Ooooh! Ranma you are going to pay for this!"
"Shut up, angry un-cute fiancée and let real competition handle this!" Shampoo demanded.
"Hey! Who's going to pay for these damages?" Nabiki shouted as she entered the room.
And so it went on, and so these sounds mixed with the near torturous clamor in Ranma's head, and so the pain in Ranma's head increased until he was literally screaming in pain. He stood up and stumbled backwards, hands clutching his head, and he screamed. The scream was loud and blood curdling, but it could scarcely be heard over the din the others were making. In fact, no one paid Ranma any heed at all until Ryoga said, "Hey! Something's wrong with Ranma!"
And then, everyone looked. They watched in horror as he screamed and screamed, ear piercing shouts of pain. They all rushed towards him, but he was thrashing so wildly that no one could get near to him.
What's…going…on…Ranma managed to think, but the thought was nearly lost in the madness in his head. His fathers face, the smell of freshly cooked okinomiyaki, a pain on his cheek as if he had just been slapped. Oh…Gods! Finally, the madness stopped, and he saw one image before he saw nothing, heard nothing, tasted nothing, smelled nothing, and felt nothing: a tall, slender woman laughing in pure uninhibited joy at his pain, at the
unequivocal chaos.