Slow down, Lorelai Gilmore sternly reminded herself. For several steps she managed a ladylike, sedate pace. But then the promise of the gorgeous spring day mixed with the exciting anticipation of a horseback ride and her feet again sped over the dirt-crusted planks serving as Star-Crossed's sidewalk. Sorry, Mother, she thought cheerfully, remembering how hard her mother had tried to crush the tomboy tendencies out of her. But I'm enjoying everything this day has to offer, whether you'd approve or not.
She knew she was early, but she just couldn't wait at home anymore. She needed to go; she needed to do. Pacing back and forth in front of the boarding house had only increased her anxieties. She hoped that her premature arrival wouldn't completely unnerve the sheriff. She knew him well enough to recognize that the man liked his plans. This would be something of a test today, to see if he was willing to bend enough to accept some spontaneity into his life.
Lorelai pulled open the heavy door to the Sheriff's office. Deputy Dean Forester was tipped back in the chair behind the desk, his feet up, looking as if he owned the place. His feet came down and he jumped up as soon as he saw her standing there.
"Morning, ma'am." He was flustered, but polite.
"It is a good morning, isn't it Deputy?" Lorelai just couldn't keep the cheery words from bubbling out. She wanted everyone to be as happy as she was today. "Is the sheriff here?"
"No, ma'am." Dean looked at her curiously. "He's over at the stables." His eyes swiftly calculated the different pieces of her attire. "And I guess I know now why he's over there," he added, with a small, sly smile.
"Thank you," Lorelai tried to say primly, but the blazing smile on her lips refused to be locked away. It was probably completely obvious to the young deputy how thrilled she was about today's outing, but right now she didn't care. Let the town gossip. She'd banked up 16 years of model behavior. Surely she deserved a withdrawal of one day's worth of fun. She nodded goodbye to Dean and dashed once more down the street.
For just a moment she hesitated in front of the livery stable. It was not someplace the women of the town visited, unless necessitated by emergency. The blacksmith's anvil next door may have been taken over by a very competent female going by the nickname of Gypsy, but the domain inside the large barn remained populated by men and boys.
Lorelai looked around for a stableman, or someone else available to take in a message to Luke. But then the scent of horse and straw and the slightly fermented odor of damp oats brought back memories of a childhood spent in barns such as this one. Once more at ease, she took in a deep breath and confidently stepped into the shadowed space.
She saw him at once, his back to her as he affectionately stroked the neck of a white-spotted black filly.
"I think she likes you," she said, startling him.
Luke whirled around and his equine companion gave a little snort of displeasure as their moment was interrupted. "I thought I was to come and get you," he said, sounding confused. And possibly miffed.
Lorelai shrugged easily. "I was ready, so I thought I'd save you the trouble."
"It was no trouble," he grumbled.
Different responses tumbled through Lorelai's head. She took time to look around the stables, letting her eyes grow used to the dim light, and giving herself time to consider the nature of the man standing before her. Slowly she moved closer to him and the horse, not wanting to alarm either of them. "Don't worry," she finally said encouragingly. "I suspect we'll get better at this."
The displeased look on his face faded away, gradually replaced by a grudging grin. Her breath caught in her throat from observing his handsome smile and she remembered why she had been so determined to do this.
"I suspect we will at that," he agreed.
"Who's this?" Lorelai asked, putting her fingers out flat for the horse to sniff.
"This is Desdemona," Luke said, pride in his voice. He patted the horse's neck again. "Since I normally ride her brother, Cletus, she doesn't get out for exercise as much. She's looking forward to today."
"As am I," Lorelai said, following his lead and patting Desdemona's neck. "It's a pleasure to meet you," she said formally. She pulled a couple of sugar cubes out of her pocket and offered them to the horse.
"That'll get you on her good side. She'll do anything for the sweet stuff," Luke revealed.
"Something else we have in common then." Lorelai flashed him a smile, while trying not to shiver at the rough tongue cleaning off her palm. "Don't tell Sookie who raided the sugar bowl this morning."
"Your secret's safe with me," he promised. Then he shifted his feet, looking uneasy once again. He pointed at Desdemona's back. "Uh, I tried to find a sidesaddle, but –"
"No problem," Lorelai assured him. She stepped back, stood with her legs astride, and pulled a handful of material at each hip, showing him that she'd cleverly put a seam down the center of her old skirt, rendering it into a modest riding outfit. Well, the billowing split skirt would allow her to keep her modesty while riding, anyway. Although from the shocked look on his face, it was still a revolutionary solution. "I never really liked riding sidesaddle," she added, hoping to move past her fashion choice.
He looked away from her altered skirt, turning back to the horse. "I guessed at the stirrups, at the length, because you're…"
"I'm tall," Lorelai said flatly, having heard a variation of that all her life. You're so very pretty my dear, but my, aren't you so very tall? She moved over to stand beside him and the horse, her good mood lessened by a percentage point or two.
"There's nothing wrong with being tall," Luke disputed. His voice turned wry and his face deliberately lost expression. "That just means you can reach everything in the back of the far cupboard. That is truly a reason to be proud."
Lorelai whipped her head around to glare at him, but saw the sparkle in his eye instead and realized he was teasing her.
"Yes! That is exactly why I'm handy to have around!" she playfully insisted, going along with his insightful comment. She was reminded once more why she thought this just might work out between them.
Luke smiled shyly and inclined his head between her foot and the stirrup. "Do you want me to –" Before he could get the whole offer out, Lorelai had swung herself up into the saddle. "I guess not," he observed sardonically. "Guess you do know how to ride."
"Sheriff!" She pretended to take offense. "Did you doubt me?"
Wisely he didn't respond to that. "Try to stand up," he urged instead. "Let me check the stirrups."
"They seem fine," Lorelai commented, her bottom hovering a few inches off the saddle. She looked over at him just in time to see him quickly bring his guilty eyes back to her face. She grinned to herself, giving Desdemona a friendly pat. One more example to add into the running tally of why she and the sheriff needed to get to know each other better. True, she didn't wish to be stared at by men in the street, but it was nice to know that this particular man found her appearance as pleasing as she found his to be.
Luke grasped Desdemona's bridle and led her down the center of the stable to where Cletus was tied, saddled and ready to ride.
Before he let go, he looked at her closely once more. "You're sure you can handle her?"
Lorelai concentrated on not rolling her eyes. "I'm sure," she said placatingly.
He still looked at her suspiciously. "How long's it been since you've been on a horse?"
She didn't want to give him the satisfaction of that answer. "I hear it's one of those skills you never truly forget," she offered instead.
Reluctantly he gave up control of the reins to her. "Just promise to tell me if it's too much. If you're too uncomfortable, or you get tired, tell me. I'll take you home right away."
After all the trouble I went through to finally get you to ask me? Lorelai thought, crankily. My legs'll fall off before I admit I can't do this! But she only gave him a nod and urged Desdemona out of the stable, stopping at the street to wait for him.
Cletus gave her a no-nonsense glare when he pulled alongside. "Thought we'd ride down towards the river," Luke said. Meanwhile, Cletus rippled his bottom lip, seeming to sneer at her, If you can make it that far, City Girl.
"That sounds lovely," Lorelai replied politely to Luke. She gave Cletus a dirty look.
They didn't talk while the horses walked the length of the town. Once the last building was behind them she waited for him to say something, but he kept silent. She tipped her face up to the sun, letting her borrowed gaucho hat slip off her head to hang by its cord around her neck, mostly covering the braid dangling down the center of her back. The warmth of the spring sunshine brought back all of the joyful anticipation of this excursion. If he didn't want to talk, that was fine. She could talk enough for both of them.
She hurried Desdemona's steps so that she was abreast of him. "So I guess there were no inquisitive sheep this morning?"
He looked perplexed. "What?"
"The herd of sheep wanting to go out and see the world last Wednesday?"
He chuckled. "No, all accounted for today, as far as I know. No sightseeing steers, either."
Her spirits soared at his attempt to match her wordplay. She wanted to keep their discussion lighthearted. But yet, there was something troubling her, something she might as well voice, rather than let worry spoil any part of the day.
"And the…the…person…That is, the intruder who was in my house. What of him? Have you spotted him since?" She tried to ask it bravely, as if it really was of no worry to her. But her hands grasped the reins tightly and Desdemona glanced apprehensively back at her.
"He's gone," Luke said brusquely, as if he wanted the matter done.
"Are you…How can you be sure?" she had to ask.
"It's my job," he said curtly.
"To know where every inhabitant is at all times?" she challenged.
"The ones I don't trust? You bet I do."
She believed him. But yet, she had to know. "And you're absolutely sure?"
He glanced over at her, his eyes sweeping over her face. He sighed and his jaw lost some of the rigidity he'd been keeping in place as she questioned him. "He's gone," he said again, but willing to explain this time. "I watched him. I watched him leave Patty's the next day. I followed him to the train. Watched him get on the 9:20, heading east. He didn't come back. I promise you, he's gone. You don't need to worry about him anymore."
"Oh, I'm not worried," Lorelai tried to bluster. "I'm just – I'm glad he's gone, is all."
"Mm-hmm," Luke murmured, obviously not buying her act of indifference.
"How long can you be away from the sheriff business today?" she asked, a little bit further down the road.
"Since I let my deputy have both Saturday and Sunday off to preen around in front of the young ladies he'd like to impress, that leaves me free and clear today. Unless somebody robs the Saving & Loan, or kidnaps Mr. Doose, I'm off duty."
"I'm curious, Sheriff. Would you really rush to free the delightful Mr. Doose from his captors?"
Luke snorted a laugh. "I have to say, it would prove mighty tempting to just let the kidnappers keep him. Probably be best if I'm never called upon to make that choice."
Lorelai smiled, glad she could amuse him. "You know, you might grow to regret your honesty as the day progresses. Now when you tire of me, you can't use the excuse of pressing business to be rid of me."
"It's a beautiful day, a nice ride, enjoyable company." Luke gave her a lazy grin. "Why would I want to cut that short?"
She shook her head at him sorrowfully. "That might just show that you don't know me very well."
"Oh, I think I know all I need to about you," he said lightly, but meaningfully at the same time. He leaned back in the saddle a little and seemed to fully relax. "How about you? When do I need to have you home?"
The thrill that shot through her at hearing him say those few words was ridiculous. "You know I like to be home when Rory gets there. Other than that, I'm free as a bird today."
His eyebrows arched slightly. "No errands today? No marketing to do?"
"Not today." She looked over at the side of the road, wondering how far she could dare to push him. "I guess we won't have to rely on coincidence today."
"Huh. An enjoyable riding companion and a day without Mr. Doose." He wasn't trying to hide his smile. "Guess this is turning out to be a really good day."
They continued their progress down the road, to the line of cottonwood trees that delineated where the river cut through the bare landscape. The trees were just beginning to leaf out, making a vibrating green fringe against the clear blue sky. The river was fat with the spring run-off, leaping and splashing over rocks that would be left high and dry during the dusty summer months. It was hard to believe that the stream dancing by them today would be nothing more than trickle in August.
Luke dismounted and tied Cletus to a branch, his eyes following the river current.
Lorelai wanted to do the same, but something had changed. It was almost as if the horse had grown several feet during the ride out from town. She nervously glanced down at the ground from her elevated height, her mouth dry. It felt like she'd never gotten off a horse before in her life. She started to panic, knowing she needed to do something quickly before Luke noticed her predicament. She screwed up her courage and grasped the horn of the saddle, but couldn't bring herself to do anything else.
By now Luke was moving towards her. He looked confused again. "OK?" he asked.
Lorelai closed her eyes for a moment, hating this. She despised asking for help. "Could you assist me, please?"
"Oh, sure. Sorry." He hurriedly came to stand beside her, reaching for Desdemona's reins. He obviously thought she wanted him to hold the horse. Little did he know that it was she who needed the holding. The thought alone made her blush.
"You see, the ground seems to have gotten further away during our ride, and possibly…To be truthful, maybe it's been longer than I let on since I've been riding…In fact, it has been many years, you see…and although I'm tall, the horse is taller…" Her babbling did nothing to clear up the situation for him. She cut off her words and took a breath. "Could you help me down, please?"
She'd expected him to act shy or flustered, but apparently being sheriff had prepared him to act without personal embarrassment in such times of need. "Stand up again in the stirrups," he instructed her, moving in closer. "Look over there, at the mountains. Don't look down. Now, swing this leg over –" His hand reached around and tapped at her far hip – "and now I've got you," he said, grasping her just below her waist and guiding her to the ground. "All right now?"
"Yes, thank you," she said properly, settling her split skirt back in place. The roiling feelings within her that had erupted at his firm touch she settled back into place too. Maybe she'd get those out and think about them back in the privacy of her room, someday. "With any luck I'll get better at that as the day progresses," she promised him.
"Well, if not, I'm here to lend a hand," Luke offered, and she couldn't be sure if he was taunting her or not. He tied Desdemona to another branch and then they both walked down closer to the water flowing by.
The sun glinting off the rushing water soon mesmerized Lorelai. Her memory made her believe she could smell seaweed and salt water. She could hear waves crashing on a faraway beach.
"What are you thinking about?" Luke's voice cut through her imagination. "You seem very far away right now."
For a moment she almost told him, but she managed to hold her tongue and the impulse passed, as it always did. "I'm wondering if I dare pull off my borrowed boots and go wading. It looks so inviting."
"Your boots are borrowed?"
She liked that about him so much. She liked that he'd latch onto and comment upon the least obvious part of her statement. That was probably why he such a good sheriff, that ability he had to pick apart what people told him.
"Yes, they belong to Mr. Girard. The hat too," she added, plucking at the cord around her neck. "How sad is it that my part-time worker always has the proper clothes to wear and I do not?"
Luke looked equally fascinated and repelled. "Your feet fit his boots?"
"Instead of saying that my feet are ridiculously big, let us instead imagine that Michel's feet are freakishly tiny for a man, shall we?" Luke chuckled at that, and although Lorelai was happy she could amuse him, she was beginning to wish it wasn't always at her expense. "So what are the chances I could get you to look aside long enough for me to peel off my stockings?"
He looked smug. "You might want to stick your hand in the water first."
She regarded him distrustfully, but she walked as close to the stream as she safely could, and squatted to put her hand into the current. She snatched it back as if the water had burned it. "Cold as ice!" she sputtered, leaping up and shaking the drops off of it.
"Should be." Luke pointed up at the snowcapped peaks. "That's where it's coming from."
"You might have warned me," she pouted.
"I did," he insisted. "That's why I didn't let you stick your ridiculously big feet in it first."
She laughed, still glad to have his teasing. "You'd think it would warm up a tad by the time it gets down here to us."
"We'll be pleased to have that coolness when July comes around. Too bad there's not a way to store it."
"Like an ice house," Lorelai remarked, her thoughts returning to her youth again.
Luke motioned towards several flat, large rocks overlooking a quiet spot where the river became a temporary pond. They made their way over and sat, watching the breeze ripple over the water.
Lorelai turned her gaze from the sparkling water to the mountains and back again, but it wasn't really the scenery she was studying. It was Luke's measure she was contemplating. She could almost feel the calmness and the strength and the goodness pouring out of the man beside her. Truthfully, today wasn't just a test for him, to see if he could put up with her silliness. Today was a test for her, too.
She took a deeper breath than what was normally allowed, because going riding was a good excuse to loosen her corset laces. She put both hands over her knees, squeezing hard for courage. And then she made the conscious decision to let him into the long-forgotten part of her life.
"This is still so different to me out here. I grew up in Connecticut." She attempted a coquettish smile, hoping to cover up her nerves. "Connecticut's one of those really small states back East, you know. Between New York and Rhode Island."
"I know which one's Connecticut," he half-growled, the deep timbre of his voice making one of those shivers pass through her middle again. "I always got good marks in geography."
"I'm sure you did," Lorelai said agreeably. She rushed on with a nod, wanting now to explain it to him. "Everything was so green there. Green and usually damp. Water was everywhere. Some days the air was so heavy it felt like you needed to eat it. The ocean was at most a half-day away." She paused, waiting for the sudden, nearly overwhelming homesickness to pass. "I miss it," she admitted quietly.
Luke turned to her with unabashed interest. "You've been to the ocean? I can't imagine what that's like." He shook his head in wonder. "Tell me about it."
She tried hard to come up with the proper words to describe the majesty of it. "You couldn't really think about how huge it was. You only looked far enough to spot the ships on the horizon. Or down to where the bridge led back into town. Or over to where Grandmother's house was on the cove. You divided it up into parcels, so it was manageable and not so overwhelming."
He watched her. "You do miss it," he stated.
"I do." She took another one of the pauses to swallow down the memories. "The feel of the sand sinking away from under my toes. The salt spray whipping into my face, making me feel so alive. Although you do not want to know what that spray did to my hair," she said self-consciously.
"Have you been on a boat?" he asked eagerly.
"Oh, yes. Many times."
"A sailboat?" He was leaning forward now, towards her, anxious to hear her response.
"Yes," she said, slowly nodding. Once more she was far, far away.
"Do you know how to sail?"
Lorelai's eyes sparkled. "Yes." She leaned towards him too, ducking her head before imparting her secret. "Don't tell my mother. One of my friends would wait until we were out of sight of shore, then he'd let me take over. I imagine that's what it feels like to fly."
Luke looked at her in admiration. "I always thought that was one thing I'd really like to try my hand at someday. Growing up here, landlocked, I couldn't imagine a more thrilling adventure when I was a boy, than being on the high seas somewhere."
"Maybe you'll get your chance someday."
"Maybe." He gave her another one of those sweet, shy looks that seemed so at odds with the star pinned to his flannel shirt. "See, I figure everyone only has so many chances in life, and for me – well, I guess I'd rather save mine up for something more important. For something that might last longer, if I'm lucky."
She hardly dared believe what the underlying meaning in his words seemed to suggest. "Maybe you could have both," she pointed out, wanting to be encouraging.
"That would seem to be tempting providence, ma'am, asking for too much."
As much as his previous words had heartened her, the ma'am seemed to splash the cold river water smack in her face.
"Seems to me you surely deserve both, Lucas," she said brazenly.
He grimaced and she sighed. The man was just so reserved. "You really want me to keep calling you Sheriff Danes?" Then she nearly choked, because he gave her that handsome smile again.
"No, I'd like for you to call me Luke. Lucas makes me think my mother is after me with a switch."
"Luke, then." The simple syllable dripped sweetly off of her tongue. "And I trust that you know my Christian name, do you not?"
"I do," he allowed, but guardedly.
Her eyebrows rose at his tone. "But you don't wish to call me by it?"
He shifted uneasily. "It seems…overly familiar."
"Luke." She put his name to use immediately. "There's only God and the horses here to hear you say it, and in any case, I've given you permission."
"I know, but –" He shook his head. Before he could look away she saw a slight flush spread over this week's cleanly shaved cheeks.
"What is so terrible about my name?" she demanded. "Did you used to court some disreputable girl also called Lorelai?"
"Your name sounds like something that should be written on the page of a fairy tale," he haltingly explained, knowing he had no choice. "I'm used to names that are solid and firm. Like Martha. Or Dorcas. Or – "
"Or Luke," she pointed out.
"Yes." He nodded emphatically. "Your name is the opposite of that. It's wispy. Like that salt spray off the ocean you were talking about. It sounds like something my deputy would whisper into the ear of one of the young ladies he's always trying to romance."
The admission made her smile. "I'm named after my grandmother," she said, leaning her elbows back on the rock behind her, settling in for a spell of storytelling. "She was the strongest woman I've ever known. She ran a business and watched over everyone in the family long after her husband died. I gave Rory her name too, because I knew right from the start that my baby girl was going to need some strength and courage to get through life." She grinned warmly. "But you're more correct than you know about the fairy tale. In German they spell it differently, but the lorelei is a beautiful maiden who casts a spell over sailors with her song, and they end up crashing their ships onto the rocks."
"So I'm right to be wary, then." But he seemed to be at ease. "I appreciate you telling me all of that. Your name's beautiful. I can't deny that." He paused briefly. "Lorelai."
She wasn't sure if her name was beautiful or not, but the sound of him saying it certainly was. "There now. That wasn't so hard, was it?"
"No ma'am," he said, deliberately trying to bait her.
"Whatever pleases you, Lucas."
"Truce." He jumped up, laughing, and held out his hand to help her up. "How about we walk down along the water for a spell?"
The walk was a pretty one, what with the stream babbling beside them, new grass and prairie flowers flourishing, and a most attentive, handsome man at her side. He offered his arm at every unevenness in the landscape and grasped her hand to make sure she kept her footing when they had to step across the river rocks. Lorelai was most disappointed when they circled back around to where the horses were waiting on them and there was no longer any reason for her to keep hold of him.
"What would you like to do now? Are you ready to head back? Or would you like to ride out further?"
Lorelai shaded her eyes and looked towards the land stretching out south of them. "Could we ride out to the Belleville's farm? Jackson's there today, and I haven't been out to see the place since last fall."
"Sure," Luke nodded. "If we ride straight across, it shouldn't take too long at all."
"Perfect." Lorelai was grateful she was able to land gracefully up in Desdemona's saddle, ready to continue their ride.
They rode as the bird flies across the open prairie, dodging small rock outcroppings and low bushes of sagebrush. After nearly ten minutes of travel, the proud new Belleville barn could just be spotted in the distance.
Lorelai let Desdemona calmly walk towards their destination for another couple of minutes, but then the glory of the spring sunshine and the lure of her recalled childhood memories proved too strong a temptation.
"Bet I get there first!" she dared him, mischief making her eyes sparkle. She dug in her heels, leaned over Desdemona's neck and clicked her tongue. The horse took off, as thrilled as Lorelai was to be running free in the fresh air.
Soon the thundering sound of Cletus' hoofs caught up to them. Luke leaned over and snatched the reins from her, drawing Desdemona to a stop.
He looked blazing mad. He swallowed hard a few times, while the horses danced skittishly around each other, settling down after their run. Finally he looked directly at her. "If you want to try and break your pretty neck, you will not do it on my horse, do you hear me? What in damnation did you think you were doing, riding pell-mell across prairie dog holes, with underbrush just waiting to trip you up? What would you have done if Des went down and threw you?"
Lorelai was still too buoyed up from the gallop to feel much remorse for her actions. She decided to employ one of his own tricks.
"You think my neck is pretty?" she asked.
Luke drew in a sharp breath. He squeezed his eyes closed and then rubbed a hand over them for good measure. When he finally opened them he seemed to have found an ounce or two of patience.
"I think the answer to that is probably fairly obvious." He sighed and shook his head. "Let's just see if we can get through the day with you still in one piece. Can I trust you with the reins or should I lead you there behind me, to make sure you arrive safely?"
"I'll be good," she promised. "Boring, but good. Sane, sensible, boring ol' Mrs. Gilmore."
"Why don't I believe that?" Luke muttered, tossing the reins back to her.
They rode into the barnyard. Jackson saw them from where he was toiling in a large garden and gave a shout to greet them.
Luke tied Cletus to the hitching post and came to help her down.
"I am sorry." Tentatively she put her hand on his arm before he could walk away with Desdemona. "You're right, I wasn't thinking. It was just so thrilling to be out here like this, away from town and my everyday chores. I didn't think that my foolish actions could end with Desdemona lame, or worse. Do you believe me?"
She could see he did, and she could tell that whatever residual anger he was harboring also fled. He nodded, ducking his chin towards the ground, and somehow he also managed to draw closer to her. "I admit I love the horse. But it was you I was worried about." Abruptly he turned away, tugging Desdemona over to join her brother at the rail.
"Welcome to the farm!" Jackson shouted, striding up to them. He shook Luke's hand. "Go ahead and take off their saddles and turn them into the pasture, if you want," he offered.
"Thanks, but I doubt we'll be here that long," Luke replied.
"Actually…" When he turned to her, Lorelai pointed over to where Jackson's buckboard was visible, next to the barn. "I asked Jackson to transport some food out here for us."
She could see him doing the calculations in his head, figuring it all out. Figuring her out. "Did you now?" he commented lightly.
"Yes. I thought a picnic might be nice." She hurried over to the wagon. "Jackson, will you join us?"
"No, I've already had my dinner. I should get back to work while the weather holds."
"The place looks great," Luke complimented him. "You've done so much work since the last time I was by here. What are you planning for the next step?"
Jackson motioned over to a spot on a little rise, opposite the barn. "I'd like to get a house up, hopefully before winter sets in. Sookie and I'd love to get settled out here for good." He shook his head. "I don't like leaving my equipment or animals out here while we're still living in town. No offense to you and the Star-Crossed constabulary, Sheriff!"
"None taken," Luke agreed. "I'm sure you're anxious to get into your own home. I still remember some carpentry skills my father taught me. Let me know when you're ready to put up the walls. I'll come out and give you a hand."
"I'd be in your debt. Here, let's get the horses settled."
She could hear Luke and Jackson continue to discuss crops and town gossip while she pulled a basket and a blanket from the bottom of the wagon. She unfurled the blanket on a comfortable patch of grass, in the shade from the barn, and set the basket on it. She was just reaching back into the wagon for a jug of lemonade when Luke appeared next to her.
"I'll get it." He hauled it out as if it weighed nothing and carried it over to their waiting picnic. Instead of sitting on the blanket, he looked at his hands. "Suppose I'd best wash up first."
"Yes, definitely!" Lorelai laughed. They walked over to the pump. When she leaned over to put her hands under the water, her hair blew out around her face, and that was the first she realized that her wild gallop had been the undoing of her braid.
"Drat!" she muttered, almost under her breath. "I must look a sight!" Quickly she tried to finger-comb her curls back, trying to repair the fashionable exterior she had hoped to present to him.
"Don't!" His hands shot out and held hers, stopping her. "At least, don't do it because you think you have to, just because I'm here. It – it suits you. The curls." He dropped his hands and nodded charmingly at her. "They're as pretty as your neck, if you don't mind me saying so, ma'am."
She laughed, pleased both at the compliment and at his now-humorous use of the ma'am. "All right, but I'm still going to need to tie this wildness back somehow. Otherwise the wind will whip it into my face the whole time I'm trying to eat." She patted at the pockets in her skirt, wondering if she'd be lucky enough to find a ribbon anywhere on her.
"I may have a solution. Uh, turn around?" With just a minor hesitation, she did, and then nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt his rough hands turn gentle on either side of her face. Carefully he drew her hair back, holding it in a bunch with one hand against her neck. Then he tied it with the blue bandana that had been around his own neck. "I think that will do," he said proudly, surveying his handiwork.
Carefully she fingered the cloth knotted around her curls. "Yes, that seems quite serviceable. Thank you." She was pleased she could speak so calmly when her heart was still skipping every other beat.
Lorelai led the way over to the picnic, once they'd splashed the worst of the dirt off of their hands. She knelt beside the basket and began to remove the wrapped items inside.
Luke settled himself down, too. "You cooked?" he asked. His voice was casual, but she didn't miss the apprehension on his face.
She blew out a breath of exasperation. "Honestly. You mistake the vinegar bottle for sugar syrup just once when the minister comes to call –"
"Twice," Luke muttered, staring down at the plaid pattern in the blanket.
Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Fine. Twice. It was still an honest mistake." She flounced her shoulders. "Rest assured, Sookie cooked. I packed."
Luke grinned, and reached forward to take the ham sandwich she was offering him. "And a fine packing job it is, too." He grinned a little bigger. "Ma'am."
She laughed and shook her head at him while continuing to pull out enough food to feed most of the county.
"Sookie is an amazing cook," Luke declared, savoring another bite of the sandwich.
"She certainly is," Lorelai agreed, munching away as well.
"What will you do, once she and Jackson move permanently out here?"
"I don't know," Lorelai admitted. She sat down the sandwich which suddenly didn't taste quite as good. "I want them to realize their dream, of course. But I'll miss her so much, and not just because she's one of the main reasons my rooms are nearly always let out. It's one of those things I'll deal with when it happens. I can't think about it now."
"But you need to have a plan," Luke protested, frowning at her lack of foresight.
"Once they get their house started, I'll think about it seriously," Lorelai promised. "Then I won't be able to deny that it's truly going to happen."
Luke didn't press her any further and they ate in companionable silence. Finally Lorelai nudged a tin full of apple pie towards him, along with a knife and fork, urging him to help himself to the sweetness there.
"I heard you mention your father to Jackson. Was he a carpenter?"
"No, just a farmer, like everyone else was at the time. And when you farm, you need to know how to fix everything. You need to know how to build and fix and repair, because there's no one else to do it for you."
"But building a house, that's quite a challenge. That's something you've done?"
"Oh, sure. 'Round here, everyone used to pitch in. Neighbors helping neighbors, you know? It's been a few years, but I'm sure I could still frame up a wall if need be."
Lorelai picked up a crumbled piece of pie crust and popped it in her mouth. "I'm surprised you don't have your own house in town."
"No need." Luke shrugged. "The town grants me the living quarters over the office. No reason for me to have much else."
Lorelai chewed at her lips, trying to figure out how to ask what was on her mind as delicately as possible. "What I mean is, I'm surprised you don't have a home. With a family. I'm surprised some industrious and wily female didn't snatch you up long ago."
She saw a cloud pass over his features before he lowered his face. "I was going to," he said, his voice in that low-growl tone she'd heard before. "Once. A long time ago."
Her heart was thudding and she already knew she'd made a mistake in asking, but in for a penny, in for a pound. "What happened?" she asked, as gently as she could.
"Her name was Rachel." He took a deep breath, and something about how he did it reminded her of the way she needed to call up her own courage before telling him the stories about her past, down at the river. He looked at her levelly. "She died," he said simply.
"Oh. Oh, Luke." She felt battered, as if Desdemona had indeed thrown her to the ground, and she pressed a hand to her chest. "I am so sorry. I think I remember now, Mia telling me something about that, but I'd completely forgotten it. Please forgive me. I would have never brought it up if I'd known."
"I know," he reassured her kindly. "And it's all right. It seems like it happened a lifetime ago now. I've grieved over it for more years than she was alive. I think it may be finally time to move past the sadness. She…she wouldn't have wanted this life for me, I know that."
Lorelai still felt shaken, but she smiled at him tremulously. "Tell me about her," she encouraged.
"She was something, that's for sure." He was sitting cross-legged on the blanket, and now he dangled his hands over his knees, looking off in the distance as he remembered. "Her hair was curly, too, but a different type of curly than yours. The little curls sprang up all around the edge of her face, and she hated them. Her hair was sort of a red-gold color, kind of like when the sun goes down at night."
"She sounds lovely."
"She was." Luke looked up quickly, with a soft smile. "I knew her my whole life, growing up. She smiled all the time. She was friendly to everyone. She would have loved you. You would have made her laugh, all the time."
"That's nice, to think we would have been friends," Lorelai ventured, although she wasn't sure they would have been at all.
"Rachel was so different from everybody else in school," Luke continued, the long held-in words pouring out of him in a rush. "She read history books like other people read penny dreadfuls. She loved to study maps. I think she had the stage routes and train schedules all memorized by the time she was eight."
"I think I can deduce how that excellent score you received in geography was attained."
Luke chuckled. "I could hold my own with schoolwork, but it probably did help cement it in place, talking to Rachel. She was so aware that there was something more out in the world, outside of Star-Crossed. That's what she wanted more than anything, to be a traveler, to visit all of the places she read about in those books. She wanted to travel on all of those routes she'd traced with her finger over the maps."
"But she fell in love with you," Lorelai surmised, sensing how the story ended.
Luke shook his head. "No, we'd been sure of ourselves from little on. We'd always assumed we'd grow up and get married and go off and see the world together. It was a childhood dream for us both. Then we got older, old enough to make the dream be the truth, but you know how the reality of growing up can change things."
"Oh, yes," Lorelai sighed.
"Rachel had it all planned out, how we'd get married here and then set off for San Francisco. She figured we'd work there for a while, saving up, until we could afford to book passage to somewhere else. She had a map with lines criss-crossing everywhere, showing the trips we'd take, and where we'd stop and settle for a spell."
"Very ambitious. Very brave, too."
"And very impractical." Luke's mouth pursed up, as if the words tasted bitter. "By then I was working for Sheriff Carlisle, learning to be one of his deputies. He'd taken me on, taught me how to follow my instincts. Sent me off to Denver to go through a law enforcement academy. I felt I owed it to him, to the town, to stay here and put those skills to work. But Rachel…Rachel thought I was betraying her."
"She was disappointed," Lorelai suggested neutrally.
"More than that," Luke admitted. "She didn't understand why I couldn't take those skills and find a job elsewhere, as we'd planned. She was anxious to go, to put our plans into actions. She was tired of sitting at home, staring at a map." Idly he traced along the edge of the pie tin with his thumb. "My parents were getting older and needed more help. My sister met up with some sweet-talker going through town with a traveling company and took off with him. Sheriff Carlisle wanted me to take on more responsibilities for him. And Rachel couldn't understand that it was time to put down roots here, and forget all of the childish dreams we'd once had."
Lorelai just nodded, letting him tell her at his own pace.
"She wasn't ready to give it up, though. She refused to marry me if we weren't going to leave town. We argued bitterly. We were both pretty stubborn when pressed. And then, just when things seemed like they couldn't get any worse between us, the yellow fever hit the town that summer. Rachel came down with it. At first she didn't hardly seem sick. She was up and around, taking care of her little sister. And then the next day…she was gone."
"Oh, Luke," Lorelai whispered. She could see the pain that still lingered in him from Rachel's death. She leaned forward, taking his hand in hers and squeezing tightly in sympathy. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
He took several deep breaths and then looked at her, squeezing her hand back. "I know you are. And I know you understand. That's one of the reasons I don't mind telling you, because I know you've been through it yourself."
Lorelai wasn't exactly sure what he was getting at, but she didn't want to lose this special connection they were tentatively forging. "You mean because of Aunt Mia," she guessed.
A small frown appeared. "I mean because you lost your husband. You know what it's like to lose that one person you thought you'd be with for the rest of your life."
Her chest hollowed out and collapsed as all the air in her lungs disappeared. Her brain, usually so facile at fabricating intricate explanations, simply shut down. She blinked and gasped, while he continued to watch her, his face showing less camaraderie and more speculation as each second passed.
"That was…long ago," she finally managed to falter. She sat back on her heels, pulling her hand away from his. "We were…very young. And…and foolish. Sometimes it seems like I - I made it all up."
He nodded, the blue in his eyes seeming even truer than usual as he attempted to comfort her. He picked up her hand again, this time letting his thumb rub over the narrow gold band she'd always worn on her ring finger. "I'm learning you just need to let go of the sorrow on your own time. Don't rush it, Lorelai. But if you ever do want to talk about him, to let it go, I'm here for you."
Once again she pulled her hand away. She pressed it up against her neck, where she could feel the blood pounding underneath her fingertips. She forced herself to respond politely, as she'd been taught. "Thank you. You are…most kind."
They sat for a few quiet minutes. Lorelai attempted to pull her shattered nerves back together. Eventually she began to pick up their picnic items and get them organized back in the basket. The routine of that task helped to bring her back to herself.
"What did you do after Rachel passed?" she asked.
"Just kept on," he muttered, shaking his head. "Kept to the routine. Kept busy. Tried to keep away from the temptation of forgetting in all in drink. Tried to help people around town, if they needed it. My parents both started to fail, a few years later. They ended up passing just three months apart."
"I'm sorry," she said again, hating how inadequate that was.
He shrugged. "It wasn't unexpected, but it still hurts to lose your parents. How about you? Are your parents still living?"
"I don't know," Lorelai replied, thinking of nothing other than how much this good man had had to suffer.
He looked shocked. "You don't know?"
Once again her chest hollowed out and she scrambled. "They…disapproved of my marriage. They said…if I went through with it, that I was no longer to be considered as their daughter. I've had no contact with them since Rory was born. They too are most stubborn."
Luke was shaking his head disapprovingly. "But after all of these years they still wish to have no contact? Surely they'd want to embrace their granddaughter! How can they be so cold and distant? They've never even tried to communicate with you?"
"They're very proud. Very stern New Englanders," she attempted to explain.
"Well, I expect they know where you are, if they want to change. But they sound most cold-hearted, to turn their backs on you, and Rory, and Mia as well. Someday they'll realize what a needless loss they've suffered for their pride."
"Thank you for that sentiment." Lorelai reached for something else to pack, but saw that everything was already stowed inside the basket. "Do you think we should be heading back?" She didn't really want to cut their outing short, but being back on the horses might be better than the intimacy of the picnic blanket conversation.
"We probably should," he agreed, with a hint of what she hoped was regret.
They put the items needing to get hauled back into town in the buckboard. Luke saddled up the horses while Lorelai walked over to talk to Jackson. Luke came to the edge of the field, Lorelai climbed up on Desdemona once more, and with a farewell to Jackson they began the ride back to the road leading to Star-Crossed.
She was right in her theory that being back on the horses would put on stop to their more serious talk. They chatted as they rode, and Luke told her a few stories from his boyhood, and pointed out where he'd had some adventures in trying to keep their area law-abiding. But still, she had plenty of time to think.
Lorelai thought back on the sixteen years she'd been living in Star-Crossed. For the first dozen or so she'd been so out of her element that she'd focused only on learning to quell her natural tendencies. She'd learned to hobble her lips so that nothing too shocking slipped out of them. She'd schooled herself to ignore her playful impulses. Instead she'd learned how to work, and work hard. She'd learn how to be a mother, although that part was easy. She'd grown a family of choice around her, with Mia, and Sookie, and then Jackson and baby Davey, with Rory always there, right in the center of her heart.
And then Mia had left her, just when she felt like she had it all perfected.
Her heart broke. But then she discovered she wasn't alone. Friends gathered around her. Mia's friends. Her friends. And she was no longer a helpless young girl. Mia had taught her well, and she was able to step into the role of boarding house proprietress without a hitch.
She still remembered the day of Mia's funeral, standing in the front room to receive guests after the service. She was tired and bereft. And then, someone came to stand in front of her. Strong, capable hands enfolded hers.
"I'm so sorry for your loss, ma'am. Mrs. Holloway was one of the best women this town's ever had."
She looked up and was instantly arrested by a pair of trustworthy blue eyes residing in the handsomest face she'd ever seen.
Luke.
Of course she knew him; knew he was the sheriff. She'd heard Mia gush praise of him for years, but somehow she'd never really noticed him before. Maybe she hadn't permitted herself to notice him. In any case, the day of Mia's funeral was the day she woke up to the fact that she was still a relatively young woman and there were still men around that made her glad of that fact.
Slowly she began to change. She allowed herself to become more like the Lorelai she used to be. She was still the best mother she could be to Rory and she ran the boarding house in the same meticulous fashion that Mia had. But she started becoming more a part of the town. Laughing and joking more, and volunteering for town events.
And then, even more slowly, she began a campaign to get the sheriff to notice her. And it had worked, culminating in their day today. But somehow, in all of the plans and hopes she'd spun she'd never thought to adjust for his curiosity about her past. It didn't register that of course he'd want to know about her background; her history before she arrived in Star-Crossed.
How much did she dare to tell him? If things continued to progress the way she hoped, what should she do? Tell him the truth, and hope he grew to love her enough to understand? Or could she live with herself if she instead kept true to her revisionist history?
The one thing she knew without question was that she liked the man. She liked him a lot. She liked his droll sense of humor and his steadfastness. She admired his honesty and his compassion. And to be honest with herself, she liked that he was taller than she was. She was already fond of his striking face, whether it was shaven or covered with whiskers. To be even more perfectly honest, she'd been completely smitten with him for quite some time.
In the midst of her soul-searching, Luke had dropped back to ride beside her. Startled, she looked up and saw that they were nearing the town.
"You've been quiet," he remarked.
"You'd best take note of that," she quipped. "It doesn't happen very often."
He smiled. "I've really enjoyed today, Lorelai."
"Good. I have too."
"I don't take time away from my duties very often, but maybe I should. If I forget, and don't ask you to ride out with me again, you go ahead and remind me, all right?"
"I can do that," she agreed, nodding seriously.
"And I know you mentioned something about some summer events planned for the town. If you wish for me to escort you to any of those, I'd be most pleased."
She nearly swallowed her tongue, so shocked was she that he was taking the initiative. "That would make me very happy, Luke."
"Good." He nodded, looking satisfied. "Of course, that depends on whether or not you get those new ribbons put on your bonnet. I'm not squiring you around in some dowdy old hat."
That made her laugh so hard she nearly lost her saddle. Desdemona looked back to check on her and Cletus seemed to sigh in resignation.
"I promise to be a credit to you and your office, Sheriff."
"Then it's settled."
By now they were riding through the middle of town. Babette Dell looked up from her chair in front of Patty's and called out a hello. Then she jumped up and ran back inside as fast as her plump little legs could carry her. Lorelai knew that meant that everyone in town would know she'd been out riding with the sheriff before the evening came. But that was permissible. Soon everyone would know that he was calling on her, if he began taking her to all of the town's events.
They passed by the Sheriff's Office. Deputy Forester was leaning against the post in front. He waved lazily at Luke, letting him know that things were calm, and then he tipped his hat to Lorelai.
They began the climb up the street to the boarding house. Lorelai was sad their outing was coming to a close, but she was thrilled to think that perhaps their future was there just in front of them, waiting to begin.
Luke dismounted and tied the horses to the hitching post before hurrying over to help her down. Secretly, Lorelai was pretty sure she could handle that on her own now, but she wasn't going to give up one last chance to be in his arms, even if it was sort of fibbing on her part.
"You know," Luke said, swinging her down to the ground, "the Founder's Day picnic is only a week or so hence. Truth be told, I'd rather not wait for the summer concerts to start before I get another chance to spend time with you. Would you permit me to take you to that, too?"
Lorelai put her hands on his forearms and looked up into his face, smiling broadly. "I love Founder's Day, Luke. And I would love to share the day with you."
He continued to stand perfectly still, his mouth opening briefly and then closing swiftly, as if some thought was flitting through his head that he wasn't sure how to voice. His eyes continued to study her, as if she was a map he needed to remember for a geography test.
"Oh, your bandana!" Her hands reached for the knotted blue cloth, realizing he was probably too shy to ask for it back.
"No, don't!" His hands gently caught hers, bringing them back down between them. "It suits you, Lorelai. Just like your curls." He attempted a smile, but the moment between them was suddenly too fraught with awareness to allow a smile. Swallowing hard, he raised one hand, letting a finger carefully trace over a curl dangling over her shoulder. He met her eyes while he put his hand up to her face, and tenderly ran his knuckles over her cheek. His voice turned husky. "It suits you very well."
You suit me very well, Lorelai thought. She became conscious that she was hovering up on her toes in her borrowed boots, trying to get just a little bit closer to him, because with the way her heart was pounding and the way he was so focused on her lips, she was almost certain she was going to get kissed, even if they were in plain sight on a public street.
The moment passed when Luke seemed to become aware of where they were. He gave his head a clearing shake and took a step back from her. Lorelai took a breath and tried to get something other than disappointment to show on her face.
Out of the corner of her eye, Lorelai then noticed someone on the boarding house porch. A man in a stylish suit. There was something about the nonchalant way he stood up that reminded her of Luke's deputy that morning when he seemed all puffed up, as if he owned the place. This man seemed to be of the same bent. He began to stroll down the walk to where they were, and the closer he came, the more a vague sort of recollection rolled around in her brain.
"Nice riding outfit you've got on there, Miss," he called out to her cheekily. "You know your mother would make you take it off, though!"
She felt Luke come to attention beside her, ready to leap to her defense if needed. She turned slowly, feeling her insides turn to ice as all of the pieces fell into place.
"Christopher," she breathed out in disbelief. She said his name almost as if it was sacred. Or maybe she said it more like the start of an incantation to break a spell.
The one thing she knew for certain was that life as she'd grown to know it was over.