Revised: July 6, 2019

Chapter Two

Rex was never able to stay asleep for long in bacta. He had too much pent-up energy and the sedatives left him groggy, comfortably numb and a little high, but not fully unconscious. As the hours passed, he grew increasingly restless and simply stared out through the murky blue, knowing he'd be stuck in here for hours yet.

He carefully tested his limbs. He was healing rapidly. His chest twinged and tingled uncomfortably as broken ribs and burnt tissues forcibly regenerated. But, he'd be back to fighting form in no time.

This was the first downtime he'd had since Ando.

The murky blue liquid reminded him of Ando's oceans which could be tranquil one minute and angry the next, holding all manner of beastly creatures. It was a compelling place. Perfect for clones. Surprisingly, though, thoughts of Ando didn't cause him a pang. He wondered if it would always be this way. Conflicting emotions when he thought back to Ando. Regrets at leaving the life and clones he'd met behind mixed with good memories.

He dozed off wondering what Travis and Catcher were faring with getting the Legion back to Ando, but the thought didn't keep him awake. He was reassured they had it all under control.

He awoke and stared out at the chrono across medbay, hoping he'd slept for a long time and it was time to get out of the tank. Fek. Still another quarter rotation left in the tank. He watched the chrono, willing it to move faster. The Kazzies had their own alphabet, which only Leon could decipher, but thankfully they used Galactic Standard Numerics. It meant Rex could be precisely bored down to the millisecond.

Rex used the time to run through the cover story he'd deliver when he was inevitably called before the GAR to account for the two months he'd been away. He'd been thinking it through for a long time, ever since he started planning the mission to Darkknell. It was interspersed with factual elements, leaving out crucial details which betrayed the Andoan Legion. He'd done this before when he'd protected Cut on Salecumai. It hadn't bothered him, then. It should have, but it didn't. And, the more he was exposed to politicians and the inner workings of the Republic, he realized the galaxy was not the idealized place they'd been told as cadets.

What a bunch of shab-

Rex saw the doors to the medbay open, and their eyes met from across the medbay.

Fek.

Nothing in his training had prepared him to deal with a relationship.

She placed her hand up against the side of the tank. It was sweet and caring and so utterly Ahsoka. But, Rex knew underneath the friendship, Ahsoka wanted more. And, he knew he wanted more. He had seen the way Travis looked at Karyn on Ando. He knew now what it was when a clone loved a woman. There was happiness there. Genuine happiness.

But, it was not for him.

It was all too much. Not now. With Coruscant and everything they were facing, it was too much. They couldn't do this now.

Ahsoka stayed for several minutes, before moving on to visit other patients in medbay. Nothing about her visit was inappropriate.

But, Rex knew there was so much more between them. He could feel it when they were together. He stared after her when she left. Could others see it? He was treading on dangerous ground.

Coric was watching him from across the medbay, arms folded across his chest. Fek. Coric always figured everything out.

For so many reasons, this had to end. He'd speak to Ahsoka once he was out of bacta. She would understand. It would be alright. Rex closed his eyes and tried to sleep for his last quarter rotation, but there was no more rest to be found. He stared into the murky blue liquid, thoughts alternating between Ando, Ahsoka and the 501st.

# # #

It was insane to attempt brain surgery outside of a traditional medical facility. But, there was no choice.

Barriss' could do a great deal of healing, even as a padawan, but it wouldn't be enough. The only way to save her master would be working together as a team with the clone medics.

Two clone medics from the 212th, Digger and Glitch, consulted with her in hushed tones, as they looked at scans of her Master's head injury.

"We need to take pressure off her cerebrum or General Unduli won't make Coruscant," Digger said.

The clones began the procedure and Barriss did what she could to settle her master into a healing trance.

"It worked," Glitch said, hefting out an audible sound of relief. "Pressure levels have dropped considerably."

"We have other patients to tend to, but we'll be back," Digger said.

Barriss nodded, settling into a comfortable stance so she could meditate. At some point, someone found her a chair and encouraged her to sit. It was too large, and not much better than standing. But, she settled in anyway and was asleep almost immediately. She awoke sometime later and found her master was improved, resting comfortably in the healing trance, and not likely to wake up anytime soon.

Ditch came by and pressed a cup of caf into her hands. "Not sure if Jedi drink caf?"

Barriss gave him a grateful nod. "We do when it's all that's available. Thank you. Very thoughtful." She took a cautious sip. It was scalding hot, and tasted nothing like the usual caf served on Republic cruisers. It was strongest enough to remove the fur from a Wookie. "What is this?"

Ditch laughed. "Kazzie caf. It is either the source of their great strength as warriors, or the root cause of their anger issues."

She smiled at the clone and they drink caf together. It was a good moment. One of those few quiet moments in the war.

"The General is doing better," Ditch said. "You should get out of here for a while."

Barriss opened her mouth to object, but the medic put up a hand forestalling objections.

"Go on," Ditch said. "I'll monitor the General." He folded his arms across his chest. "I'm up to the task."

"Alright, then," Barriss nodded, "Thank you. You're a fine medic. She is doing better."

Glitch beamed at the praised. "I am a fine medic. Thank you for noticing."

# # #

Barriss sat alone in the large mess hall, staring out one of the viewports. Her mind was on the battle just passed, and the well-being of all the injured, including her master. But, she'd be lying to herself, if she'd didn't admit her thoughts didn't keep straying back to one clone in particular.

"You going to finish that fruit, or perform some sort of Jedi ritual on it?"

Barriss looked up, startled.

"Oh, hello Trapper."

The clone grinned, pleased she had recognized him. He pointed to her plate. "Not hungry? You seem to be more mashing your food than eating it." Without waiting for an invitation, he slid into the chair across from Barriss. "I wouldn't eat the red fruit." He said, pointing to her plate. "They have a nasty way of twisting in the gut. Scans say they're edible, but we clones say otherwise." He leaned in and his voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. "I say it's the Kazzies way of getting their revenge."

Barriss chuckled. She looked at the fully loaded plate of fruit in front of Trapper, noticing he had several of the red fruits. She pointed, and raised up a questioning eyebrow.

"Oh, these aren't for me," he explained. "I was just on my way to bring a plate to Cody." He shrugged and gave a devilish grin. "Hey, he needs to find out about these things for himself."

Barriss burst out laughing, wondering if she would ever understand clones and their intricate bonds between them.

"If you're not busy, Commander, maybe you could bring these over to Cody? He's in his quarters. I'm due back on the bridge. We're short-staffed," Trapper said.

"Of course," Barriss said, trying to ignore the way her pulse beat faster at what was only a routine request from Trapper.

The scout pulled out his datapad, and quickly gave Barriss directions to Cody's quarters. Barriss nodded and he departed, leaving her with the extra plate of food.

She left the mess hall immediately, hurrying through the corridors.

I'm just helping out. Nothing more.

Trapper's directions were easy-to-follow, although the ship was larger in scale than she'd remembered. The Kaz'harians seemed to do everything on a grand scale. By the time she arrived at Cody's quarters, her nerves were rattled. She activated the chime.

"Come in Trap."

Barriss took a step closer and the automatic door sensor activated, sliding the sturdy door backwards into the wall.

The room was only partially-lit, and as Barriss' eyes adjusted, she noted that Cody was reclining against pillows on an oversized bunk. His chest armor was off and his bodysuit was opened up. He had a large heat pack slung over one of his shoulders.

The clone commander sat up, his eyes widening in surprise. "Barriss." The way he said her name in his deep voice affected her in a way that most un-Jedi-like. She should leave. She just needed to hear him say her name once more. It would be enough, and then she could go.

Cody's eyes narrowed, and his voice was chilled, reminding her they hadn't parted on the best of terms. "What are you doing here?"

Barriss flushed furiously. "I…" She stood awkwardly, the oversized plates feeling heavy in her hands. She shook her head. "I shouldn't be here. I'm sorry." She spied an oversized desk. "I'll leave this and go." She hurried across the room.

This had been a mistake.

"Barriss, wait." Cody rose quickly, and then hissed. His hand slid up to his shoulder, an area covered with extensive bruising.

She quickly set down the plate, and studied him in the dim lighting. "What happened here?" She pressed her fingers lightly against his chest.

Cody started at her light touch, and stared down at her fingers touching him. A torrent of emotion came off of him at the touch, before he closed himself off to her. Sadness. Anger. Longing. Regret.

He shook his head. "You should go."

"I can help. Have you seen a medic?"

He hesitated, and then shook his head. She started to gently skim her hands over his shoulder, looking for the source of the swelling. "Can you fix it?" He 'hmmphed' to himself in amusement. "What am I saying? Of course you can fix it."

His faith in her abilities was humbling.

She closed her eyes and reached down into the Force, feeling for the source of the injury, even as her hands brushed over the area. "Your shoulder is partially dislocated. I can heal it, but I'll need to work on the muscles around it first." She removed the compact contained of healing medi-lotion she carried everywhere.

Cody's nose wrinkled. He tried to look back over his shoulder, and winced. She pushed his head back forward. "Hold still," she admonished.

"I recognize that smell."

"You should," she rubbed a small amount on her hands, "it's a derivative of ryll and geldbitter salve. It has muscle relaxant and anti-inflammatory properties. This is what I used on you on Ord Cestus."

Under her fingertips, all of Cody's muscles bunched up at the mention of their time together on the medical station. "Relax or I'm not going to be able to move your shoulder back. It's me or medbay."

"I prefer being with you here," Cody said softly, and his low deep voice tickled her ear.

Barriss pushed memories of OrdCestus away and focused on healing his injury. Cody's head dropped naturally as she began to work out knotted muscles. She closed her eyes, focusing intently on her healing. She searched out the fiery inflammation surrounding the battered tissues. She worked closer and closer to the damage around his shoulder.

Barriss gave a sharp tug and the joint slid back into position. Cody yelped and his eyes flew open as the joint slid back into place. She focused on calming the nerves to relieve the pain, and his breathing steadied. His eyes shut as she worked through spasm after spasm, healing damaged tissues.

"How's the pain?"

"Better," he admitted, then hissed lightly as her fingers hit another tender spot. "Or, it was." He grumbled.

She smiled, and shook her head at his good-natured grumblings. She handed him the jar of lotion to distract him. "Hold this." She worked in even deeper, determined to heal the damaged areas.

"How is General Unduli?" Cody asked, unable to hold back another grunt of pain as Barriss dug in more deeply.

"As good as can be expected with a head injury so severe," she considered her reply. "Actually, better than I thought she'd be doing. There's a talented medic in the 212th, Ditch, who relieved the pressure on cerebrum. I could only get so far with my healing. I think he saved her."

"We've got some outstanding troopers." His voice dropped low. "We're lucky to get them back."

"Luck had very little to do with it."

"This isn't another lecture on the will of the force?"

"My Jedi beliefs are not up for debate. No, Cody, I was going to say the troopers were saved because of your efforts and those of Captain Rex."

Cody considered this for a moment. "It was all of us. I'm just glad they're coming home." He stared out the porthole to the stars beyond, a luxury only afforded in the quarters on the command wing. His voice dropped soft again, as if was asking a question of which he wasn't sure how to answer. "Where is home for a clone?" He continued to stare out. "I don't know. We have each other. It's enough. It's all we've ever had, I suppose."

Barriss wondered where she fit in with such a life. But, she knew the answer. She'd always known the answer. She didn't. "I should go."

Cody gave her a long searching look. "Then, why did you come?"

She could not escape the truth. "I am here because I could not stay away."

"Barriss," his name escaped her lips as a groan, pulled deep from within. He looked toward the door, and his voice was a low warning. "If you're going to leave, go now."

She took the healing lotion back from him, and slipped it back into her belt. She was done being a healer. She rose to leave.

The disappointment in Cody was fierce it washed over her in waves.

And, her feet wouldn't move. She couldn't go. She could not move leave than she could stop breathing.

"I cannot," she said.

In the span of seconds she had undressed, except for her hood.

Cody sucked in a breath, as if all the air had been drawn from his lungs. He reached up and tugged her down onto the bunk with him.

# # #

Hours later, Barriss lay awake watching Cody sleep. She savored each second, memorizing every line and curve on his face all over again.

But, something about these seconds seemed final. As if these moments would not come again.

Every parsec brought them closer to Coruscant.

Cody was peaceful in sleep. The stern expression had eased and was replaced with an innocence which made him look younger. His short-cropped hair had grown out during his time at Ord Cestus. It curled slightly now at the nape of his neck, and there was a single wisp of grey by his left ear. She sighed, knowing the years were slipping away from his life much too quickly. She wanted to stay like this forever, in this one moment, and ignore the rest of the universe. Pretend there was no war, no Jedi Order and Grand Army of the Republic. It was only the two of them in this moment in their safe little bubble.

Cody stirred slightly in his sleep, reaching out for her. She pulled back slightly out of his reach. His brow furrowed, but exhaustion pulled him back under and he slept on. She slowly backed further up. She had to leave.

Her body was sticky and sweaty and she desperately needed a shower.

He desperately needed a shower and stank of sweat and sex and man and clone.

But, if she showered here she would not be doing so alone.

She had to go. She took two steps toward the door, and stopped. She looked back toward the bed. Toward Cody. He had the same DNA as all the clones, but somehow when she looked upon him all she saw was unique beauty. A man so handsome he stole her breath away. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, savoring the scent that was uniquely Cody. It would have to be enough. These memories.

She knew what she had to do.

If she did not go now, she would never be able to leave.

If she stayed, she would destroy them both.

She quietly slipped out the door, although she could barely see as she headed down the corridor. Her vision was blurred and she was not sure she was headed in the correct direction.

She startled at a sudden voice.

"Commander, I was headed back to your side of the ship. Would you like to walk together?"

Trapper seemed to materialize out of nowhere. She stared at him for a long moment as her brain tried to catch up with his words. He waited patiently, as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on until she stepped in place beside him and they stared to walk together.

Trapper broke the silence first. "You didn't eat the red fruit, did you?"

Barriss was so lost in her thoughts, it took her a moment to register Trapper had spoken.

"What? I..." She tried to stammer out a response, but her brain was not cooperating.

"You're overtired, Commander. You need something beyond that Kazzie fruit." He rummaged into his belt pouch, and produced a rations bar. "My last one. I've been saving it."

Barriss accepted the precious bar with a grateful nod. "Thank you." She unwrapped the bar and quickly finished it off. The wretched things were terrible. She missed the food at the Jedi Temple. She missed so much of her life at the Jedi Temple. The routines. The simplicity. Maybe she was not one of those Jedi who was adventurous enough to leave the steps and venture forth.

"We're here, Commander. Your quarters," Trapper pointed. "Have a good rest."

Barriss nodded and entered her quarters, belatedly realizing she'd not thanked Trapper again for walking her to her quarters. She doubted she'd found her way on her own. She'd likely spent hours wandering the corridors of the massive ship and ended up in a weapons bay or some such place.

She showered in water that was much too hot. She tried to invigorate herself. She let the steam envelope her body, her thoughts cascading back to the hours spent with Cody.

She wanted to go back, continue to watch him sleep. Watch him wake up. She wanted to be with him again. She couldn't. She had to end this. What was she doing? But, she couldn't seem to stay away from Cody. She was drawn to him like fleek oil to flame. But, the flame would surely destroy both of them. She sank down to her knees and wept.

The ship sped on toward Coruscant, and with each parsec, she knew the life she wanted could never be.

# # #

"Alright, Rex, these are your quarters. Cody is directly next to you. Captains Ko and Leon are on the right. Should be quiet down here. Only you command folks are in this wing."

"Thanks, Fives," Rex said. "I can take it from here."

"Coric told me to make sure you hit your rack and stay there."

"I'll rest, not to worry."

Fives snorted. "That's what you say when you plan on working instead."

Rex laughed. "No, I'll get some rack time." He'd been in bacta for almost a full rotation and he was considerably healed. The wound on his chest was now a faint line. The cut in his neck was healed and he could walk without pain. He stepped into the room and his nose wrinkled. "What's that smell?"

"Kazzie fur," Fives said, "you can smell it throughout the ship, but it's strongest in the living quarters."

"Ah," Rex nodded. Right. It did seem discomfortingly familiar. He flashed back to being pinned to the Kazzie leader, a knife against his throat.

Fives' voice brought him back. "You need anything else? I want to go check on Echo," the ARC's voice had been steady while speaking to Rex, but wavered slightly when speaking of his badly injured brother.

"No. I'll be fine. How is Echo doing?" Rex had wanted to stay and make rounds visiting injured troopers in the medbay, but Coric had expressly forbidden it.

Fives' face was set into a grim mask. "Kix can't give us an estimate yet for how long he'll be in bacta."

"Has Kix slept?"

"Doubtful. But, they have do have backup from the medics in the 212th."

Rex nodded and gave the ARC a critical look, taking in the deep shadows under his eyes. "Have you slept?"

Fives shook his head and ran an agitated hand through his thick black hair. "I can't get my mind to shut down, so I keep busy."

Rex nodded with understanding. "The curse of our Jango DNA."

"One of many curses," Fives said.

The words rang eerily true.

"Still, try to get some sleep,vod," Rex said. "You're no good to Echo if you collapse yourself."

Fives nodded, and left.

Rex took a few moments to explore the room. It was much larger than his room on the Resolute. Too large. He'd never been one for the trappings of command. He preferred bunking with the men, whenever possible.

A storage locker stood at the foot of the bunk, slightly propped open, not able to fully close because of a load of blue and white inside. Rex opened it and discovered his entire suit of armor and his helmet, cleaned of all the Darknellian gunk and grime from the battle. His helmet had been polished, so there was a faint sheen to it now. Rex ran his hands over the surface in wonder. Someone, or more than one someone, had spent hours cleaning his kit. Folded neatly underneath it was a bodysuit. Not his, which had been ruined in the battle beyond repair. Someone must have had a spare. There were few clones onboard who even had armor. Rex stared at the new suit in wonder, running his hands over the seamless mesh. It must have been donated by one of the men from Ord Cestus. Rex had already begun to wear through his spare suit by his second month on Ando. It was a precious gift. He sighed, tempted to track down the owner of the suit and return it. It was almost too much to accept. He precisely folded the suit and put it back in the chest. He pulled out his helmet, also neatly polished and free of Darkknellian grime. He slid it on and sighed with relief as he was back within the safe, familiar environment of his helmet. Everything about it felt right. It even had the perfect smell to it. He breathed in and out deeply several times, just relaxing in the normalcy for a few seconds. It blocked out the smell of Kazzie.

He commed Cody.

The 212th commander picked up the call, voice only. "Commander Cody."

"Fek Cody, did I wake you up?"

There was a snort. "Not exactly protocol, Rex."

"Fek," Rex admitted, "you're right."

Cody chuckled.

"Where are you now?" Rex asked.

Cody switched on the visual. He was shrugging into his bodysuit, although the material was sticking to him since he was still glistening wet. "I'm headed back on duty in a few minutes." He looked back into the viewscreen and gave Rex a curious once over. "I see you escaped medbay."

"Yes. That's what I wanted to discuss."

Cody finished tugging up his suit. "You want to go back?" There was a slight teasing tone in his voice. The visual shifted and Rex found himself staring up at Cody's face from the side as he efficiently shaved. He was surprised at this lighter side of the 212th commander. His friend had changed in the couple of months he'd been away. There was a mellower side balancing out his usual grim seriousness.

"No. According to Fives, Kix and Coric have been on duty since we left Darkknell. I imagine we are facing the same situation with some of the other medics."

"I see." Cody turned his head, and started shaving the other side of his face. "You'd like to order them to take a rest."

"Exactly. But, I can't. I'm officially not on duty."

"By those same medics."

"Yes."

"I'll take care of it. Anything else?" Cody brusquely combed his hair. He studied the finished result, patting an errant strand into place.

"No." Rex watched Cody with interest, wondering when the 212th commander became so fastidious about grooming. Or, so shabla cheerful.

He shook his head. Cody cut the connection, but before he did Rex thought he heard the 212th commander humming under his breath. Clone commanders did not hum. Fekkin' odd.

# # #

"Again, I expect Trapper, and I get you," Cody smiled at Barriss' unexpected appearance at his door. He was holding something in his hand. Barriss recognized it as a clone grooming kit. She was temporarily derailed from why she came. She stared at the kit in Cody's hand, and was thrown off by his uncharacteristic cheerful demeanor. "What?"

"No one wants to arrive in Coruscant looks like a Kowankian monkey lizard. So, we have to share the few kits we have. I won't get to shave again before Coruscant. Be forewarned," he stroked at his chin, almost playfully, as if he was considering growing a beard like Obi Wan.

"Cody-"

Something about her tone alerted him.

He ushered her into his room.

"Everything OK? Did something happen with General Unduli?"

"No. Sorry. I'm usually much more direct. I-"

The clone commander's eyes narrowed, and his voice dropped dangerously low. "Don't."

"Cody, please, this cannot work. We cannot be together."

He crossed his arms and his voice dripped with sarcasm. "Last night, we had no problems being together. What changed since then?" He looked perplexed, and hurt.

It tore at Barriss to hurt him like this, not when she cared for him so deeply. This was wrong. So wrong.

She tried to explain it, without making it any worse. "All the Masters are currently unconscious. Everything will be different when we return to Coruscant."

He stared at her. His mouth slightly agape, showing his perfect teeth. "You're effin' serious."

"We're headed back to Coruscant and everything will be different once we are there. I will be back at the Temple with Master Unduli while she heals and we cannot be seen together-"

His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Are you ashamed of lowering yourself to a clone?"

"Cody, no!" It couldn't be further from the truth. She loved Cody. The realization hit her suddenly and powerfully. There was so much about him that she loved.

And, she could not tell him.

He stared at her defiantly. Anger and hurt blazing in his eyes.

"If anyone found out, I would be expelled from the Order, and you-"

"I know what would happen to me!" Cody snapped. He stared at her and the silence stretched on between them. "I'm a fekkin' clone!"

"Cody," Barriss started, her hand stretching out to reach for him, but she couldn't say any of the things she was truly feeling. The Jedi Code was coming between them.

He waited and then shook his head. "Don't come to me again."

# # #

Revision history:

July 6: Revised again to further expand Rex's inner monologue. Took out the parts of Rex's monologue where he is composing reports in his head, as this does nothing for the plot. Admittedly, Rex is a workaholic. It is in DNA. But, this does not drive the plot forward. Ultimately, this is a love story, wrapped up in a war which keeps our characters apart. Many of these revised scenes are half the length of the originals, as I have cut out unnecessary text which did not serve the plot. There may be comments which refer back to funny and memorable lines in these scenes. It was hard to cut these lines. But, anything that did not serve the plot was deleted into the ether. I am fortunate enough to have a few friends who work in the movie industry and have spoken to them at length about both the writing and the editing process. It is difficult to cut a scene you love. But, it makes a stronger story. If I had unlimited time and energy, I would revise Rex I and make it half the length. But, for now, it will remain a quirky story which was my learning ground as a writer ten years ago. Hopefully, Rex II will show we are never too old to learn some new (writing) tricks.