Yes, that's right. Two chapters are posted on the same day at roughly the same time! This is a co-write with OrangePotato. Just so it's clear, this is a crackfic and not meant to be taken seriously. If you liked Dawn of the New World, READ WITH CAUTION! This will be poking all kinds of fun at that game and it's characterizations of the original cast.

Please no flames for the original cast's OOC, as we simply are characterizing them as they were shown in the second game.

Read, Enjoy and Review!

Chapter Two: The Secret Plan

When Emil finally made it to FlAHnoir and caught his breath, he heard the whimsical, melodic screech of his best friend, Marta. "EEEEMMMMMIIIILLLLLL!"

He turned just in time to be glomped. Tenebrae was also there, floating above with his usual witty and totally hysterical comments, "SNOW doubt you heard her coming. Just make sure to SNOW down, Marta. You might hurt Emil." Once again, the audience laughed their asses off because the comedy was almost too much. Almost.

After they stood up, Marta started to complain cutely because she's so freaking adorable, "Emil, I missed you, I love you, I wanna marry you."

"Not now, Marta. Regal has gone mad with power."

"I guess I did notice that everything in the stores had his name on it. But that's why I asked for some of my BEST FRIENDS to come here. Colette, Zelos and Genis."

"What a coincidence, sometime during my mad dash here, I called some of my besties to meet me here. Namely Lloyd, Presea and Raine."

That's when there was a resounding chorus of HEY BUDDY from the entrance of town. Even Sheena was there, though she'd tripped on the stairs. Colette, who was every optimistic and never wore a frown, began walking towards them only to trip and fall into the snow, shouting as she fell, "I'M SORRY SNOW!" Her face hit the snow but the snow was okay with it, because, you know, she apologized. Anyway…

Genis snickered in his pubescent voice, "wow, Colette, you can be such a dumbAsS. Why the HELl are we here anyway? What BAStarDs do we have to kill?" These curse words totally made Genis sound older and it never, not once, sounded like it was forced upon him to say such vocabulary.

Marta ran up to them and hugged them all because they are apparently really good friends. "The Lezerano company is taking over everything!"

Zelos, who suffers from severe mood swings (this is canon), said "I use to hate you guys, but because we're now bestest buddies, I totally believe you when you accuse one of my original, best friends of being insane."

Emil came over and nodded, "There has to be a way to stop him."

Raine's eyes lit up like elegant (but not as elegant as Emil's eyebrow) sapphires, "WILL THERE BE RUINS?" Many hearts could be seen floating over her head, earning another chuckle from the audience.

"There she goes again," Genis sighed and put his hands up, "that DaMn Ruin Mode." Everyone in the group laughed at Raine because she did this frequently. So frequently in fact, that it was probably unhealthy and she should probably seek professional help. But that's beside the point. Raine's ruin mode is always good for a laugh, as it comes up every couple of minutes.

Presea, whose pink hair was still tied up in pig tails, spoke up animated, "As the vice president of the Paw Pad Pals, I pronounce Regal's present predicament to be precisely perilous to Paw Pad Pals and People everywhere." After everyone whipped the spit from their faces, they nodded. Then Presea saw a dog and proceeded to chase it saying "PPAAAWWW PPPPAAADDDSSS!" Colette, who finally pulled herself from the snow, joined Presea.

"Puppy! I WANNA NAME YOU WHISKERS!"

Everyone laughed again because they can and because it's funny. So, Emil and Marta and the other people went to the inn to discuss things further.

Raine pondered things a little more, looking over the countless packages that were marked with Lezerano. "I know he randomly started owning everything upon meeting you, Emil, but I never would have guessed he'd go this far." She spied an ancient relic in the meeting room and began going into ruin mode again. Like I said, every couple of minutes. Gotta love this humor!

Marta frowned yet her face was still oddly cute and cuddly, "there's got to be a way to stop him."

Genis crossed his arms in his normal angsty fashion, "I don't know what the heLL we're going to do, but I bet we'll have to use the RAYards to get there."

Zelos nodded, "yes, the RAYards."

Colette, who had bruises all over her face from tripping up the stairs, nodded, "That's right. Right, Tenebie?"

"For the millionth time," the black dog like thing said, "It's Tenebrea!"

"Oh. I'm sorry. That's right…..Tenebie." She smiled right before she fell out of her seat and landed on the ground. "I'm sorry." Everyone laughed at her.

Sheena, whose face is also purple from tripping up the stairs, spoke up, "as the chief of Mizuho, it's my duty to figure out what's going on. I'll go with you anywhere, Emil." Good, old reliable Sheena. After having her on the party for over half the game, he really grew to love her and her hilarious antics.

Lloyd, who'd been uncharacteristically quiet, looked at his friends and stood up. "I've got a secret plan," he said in a voice that is clearly not Scott Menville, "but I'm not telling any of you!" He turned on his heel and jumped out the window, disappearing into the busy streets below.

Everyone was flabbergasted! Emil was angry, "I don't trust Lloyd."

Zelos stood up immediately, his chair scrapping on the floor and crashing into Colette and Sheena who toppled over like bowling pins, saying, "I hate you! I trust Lloyd even though he'd normally share everything with us and not pull this lone-wolf maneuver, he's still my best friend (and possibly lover, who knows) and I won't listen to you guys diss him." After his moodswing rant was over, he leapt out a different window, leaving the rest of the team two windows broken and very cold.

Notice anything in DotNW that really bothered you, rather it be story or character related? Leave a review telling us what it is and we'll see if we can put it in the story!

Also, do you wanna be as huggable as Marta? Check out OrangePotato and my new co-write, Glory's Casket. Search OrangePotato's profile to find it!