Chapter 2: The only way he knows how

Sherlock was never bored anymore. That was good in one way because he had no idea how a dead person can entertain itself. He couldn't read books, except John read them what he didn't do since Sherlock is he constant companion.

He couldn't solve cases because no one would hear his solution and he couldn't let John alone. Who knows what the ex-army doctor does in the time Sherlock is gone. Lestrade came by every few days, ask John out for a beer or just sit with him and talk. Most of the talking was on Lestrade´s side. John just sits there and waits for the evening.

There was no violin or experiment to distract him. He was always next to John without a second of break. Even Mycroft came and Sherlock saw the grieve in his brother´s eyes, he wears his mask but it was too deep and Sherlock could see that his brother had shed a few tears for him. He tries to talk to him but Mycroft couldn't hear him. No one could.

Mrs. Hudson finds daily new reasons to come upstairs and stay as long as John would take it but even her tears didn't work and after a while she is thrown out. Sherlock couldn't be mad at John for being rude to her. He was often more than rude to their landlady. And now he misses her tea and the small talk she brings to their flat.

Sherlock and John had developed some kind of routine. John would get up in the morning, have a shower, breakfast, go to work, come home early, have take away, drink alcohol until late go up to bed, take his gun out and sit there until the sun raises. Sherlock follows John everywhere, watches him shower (yes a bit creepy, but people had slipped and slice their wrist in the shower, he wouldn't take the chance), watch him having breakfast (talking to him to eat more, drink more), follow him to work (checking every street they cross, trying to keep him away from the train tracks), watching him working, emotionless. Sherlock follows John home and talks to him, he continues talking at home, about food and sleep. John has his dinner and starts drinking alcohol, Sherlock asks him to stop but John drinks until he decided to go to bed and Sherlock is busy holding down John´s gun to the next morning.

"John you can´t live like that." Sherlock and John were on the way to work. "You know that this is not healthy." Sherlock looks to his left and right to make sure when John crosses the street he wouldn't run over by a car, because he wasn't really looking. "You could at least try not to die every second of the day." Sherlock was exhausted, he didn't miss sleep but holding the gun down takes all his energy and he has no idea how long he will be able to do so. "Even Mycroft is worried about you, Mr. Ice-man. That should tell you something." Sighing Sherlock walks through the door. "I find a solution." He was talking more to himself but he got used to that.

He could say everything out loud; no one hears or listens to him. It clears his mind a bit but he still needs a solution. It was like John slips back to the point before meeting him. Sherlock had seen it on their first day together, the thought of the gun at home but after the chase, the running, the dinner and the adrenalin he had cured John from thinking about the gun. "I need something, no someone like me." But where should he find someone like that, John doesn't even notice their friends how should he bring him to find someone new.

Sherlock starts to look at the people around them more closely; he has now not only the job of preventing John from dying but also to find something for him worth living. "You could date someone. Someone special, there are many single women around you and I won´t be there to chase them away." John doesn't look at pretty ladies anymore, not like before.

When John has no work he visit Sherlock´s grave and that was the only time he let him alone. For some reason he doesn't want to know what his friend tells his gravestone. Sherlock hadn't seen the grave, it freaks him out. In the time John was by the grave he tries to get his 'stupid' wings to work. He doesn't want to use them to fly but he would like to fold them or pull them closer to his body to have more freedom to move but the wings do what they want.

John would collect him at the gate without his knowledge and they would return home. In a cold flat with the daily fight of life and death.

"John what about her, she is a single mum, has two …no three little girls, is assistance in a lawyer's office." Sherlock pointed at a young woman who was getting her coffee.

He had started his plan 'Finding a wife for John' a week ago and would point out women he doesn't find completely boring. Not that any of them had the potential to replace him but where does a dead man find the perfect woman for a man when he can´t let him alone for ten seconds.

Sherlock sighs. "Okay John how about her." He points at a woman which is sitting in front of him in the subway. "She looks nice, genetic speaking. She works in some kind of child care center, is divorced and looking for something new." John ignores him and the woman. "You could at least look for a second." He is getting a bit angry at his situation. This not hearing thing isn't helping. Why he was in his current situation was a myth for him anyway. He still ignores his wings and the whole ghost thing but he hadn't found a better explanation for his situation. The thing that really strikes his nerves is that he is sure that he had seen people like him, people with wings that follow humans out of the corner of his eyes but he can't see them probably. They are like shadows vanishing when he turns to them.

Trying to cast these thoughts away Sherlock stared at John again, he did nothing else these days. Staring and talking at a man that couldn't see or hear him. "You know John I´m right in front of you and I miss you."

"I need a list of characteristics your new partner should have, alright?" John didn't answers. "You need someone dangerous that will force you to question yourself. You need a beautiful woman that can make you laugh. Someone that will hold your hand while walking, wake you out of you nightmares and push you into life without ever hurting you. A woman who wants to start a family … maybe." This was the first time Sherlock really thought about family. It is often said that a child could change a man, a father. A father would does everything to protect his child. That would mean living for it. John needs a family, not some replacement for him or a girlfriend, no he needs a family. "John I will find you a family." For the first time since his death Sherlock sounds hopeful that everything would be alright.

He didn't know it would take him a whole year to find the right one.

The right one was Mary. Beautiful, normal looking Mary, with her aura of mystery. Sherlock looked at her and new she was the one. It took him a week to finally understand what she was hiding but she was the right one. She wants a normal life after the dangerous she had and that was the right woman for John. Someone dangerous, strong willing and future oriented. Only problem was that John hadn't looked at her since she started her job in his clinic as a nurse.

Mary had more than one shift with him together already but he doesn't look. He was still in his own world and although Sherlock was happy that he had at least an impression by one person he can´t let his friend continue to suffer due to his death.

"Okay John, you want the hart way. You get the hart way. You made the decision don't complain later." Sherlock hat talked to John about Mary since the day he first laid an eye on her and John wasn't listening. "Have fun with the awkward way to meet someone new." And with that Sherlock pushed a chair forcefully into John´s way. Into John who was reading a patient's file while walking with a coffee from the cafeteria in his hand.

John hadn't seen the chair and later, thinking about it, he was sure it shouldn't be there but he crushed into it anyway, stumble to his right and losing the coffee he got a minute ago. A very hot cup to its lack of milk and it´s whole contain splashes on some poor nurse´ s uniform.

"I´m so sorry. Oh god are you hurt, sorry I didn't look." John starts babbling and stops first as the nurse starts to giggle.

"Oh sorry Doctor, I´m not hurt but I have to change my clothes. That´s a bit inconvenience but I´m sure you will make up for that." John surprised by her giggle that he likes instantly looked up and meet her eyes for the first time, blue beautiful eyes and he couldn't remember her name. She must be the new one, because he was sure he knows the names of the other nurses. At least he hopes so. He hadn't spoken to them except during work.

"Yes of course." John was stuck what does she want?

Invite her to a coffee.

"Would you like to go out for a coffee after our ship?" He has no idea where that thought came from but he hopes it is not too much, maybe she means something else.

"I would like to but this time I would like to have my coffee in a cup." She winked at him as she goes to the changing rooms. "See you after the shift."

"See you." Waving John needed another thirty seconds to notice that there was still a patient´s file on the floor, next to a chair and the rest of his coffee. He gets someone to clean the hall, collects his papers, places the chair to its proper place at the wall and continues his way to his office.

Without coffee but with a date on the afternoon.

"That´s the way John, finally listen, if I had known that I have only to throw furniture at you I had started that months ago." Sherlock was proud at himself for ones. The whole being death thing was slowly making him insane. Not the same insanity like from being bored, another kind, the one when you talk and no one hears you. A bit like schizophrenia only the other way around. He was the person in someone's head and that person takes his medicine and can't hear the voice anymore.