Author's Note:

Ay? Ay? Well, is this good or not? Should I continue? Do I capture the true essence of Bill's character? Will you review? Answer my questions by reviewing!

Snappy… AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Author's Note:

So! How're the Fangirls holdin' up?

(Sees Fangirls passed out everywhere on the ground)

Yeesh. Sorry Bill, but it looks like ya won't be gettin' that human-throne made of Fangirls in the Nevada Desert. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, I hope none of the ponies seem OOC because... ya know… I've been neglecting MLP in favor of GF.

(Bronies bare teeth and hiss threateningly)

NONONOPLEASEDON'TKILLME!

(Bronies reluctantly step away)

Ahem. Ah, thank you. Alright. Onwards to the show! Or… story… Oh, and I made this after listening to "The Rainbow Factory" fifty-six times. Just thought you might like ta know that.

Meet the Pony Fleshbags

Being out of the Mindscape was great. Though Bill would probably miss the endless gray void eventually, being back in the physical world was wonderful. And he didn't even need to posses someone! There probably wasn't even a Mindscape in this world! Things here were looking up.

"Who are you?" a voice spoke up. Bill turned around to see a zebra-pony.

"The name's Bill Cipher," he said. "And let me guess…" he read her mind. "You're Zecora, the zebra…. who only speaks in rhymes. This place is great!"

"I am glad to see you like this place. But I have never before have I seen your face," the zebra, Zecora said. "And it is not often I get recognized. I live here in the Everfree, away from other pony's eyes."

"Great! That was absolutely wonderful and extremely important to hear. I am extremely glad you have shared that essential piece of information."

Zecora gave him a strange look. "But I have to ask; what is your task?"

Bill tapped his bowtie in thought. "I'm here to seize control of Equestria and turn it into the most evil place in this universe." Bill laughed when he saw the worried expression on Zecora's face. "I'm just kidding. I just want to meet the Elements of Harmonicas."

"You mean the Elements of Harmony? That's Twilight and her friends, you see."

Bill read the zebra's mind again, discovering where they lived. "Welp, I'm off to 'Ponyville'! Don't wait up. Oh, draw a picture of me somewhere. This place doesn't have enough triangles." And with that, Bill began floating away.

"But wait!" Zecora called holding a forehoof out. Bill turned around. "The ponies will not like you! They'll hate! When I came to Ponyville, they thought me malicious. Ponies, you see, are naturally suspicious!"

Bill put his hands on his sides. He didn't actually care whether these ponies liked him or not. But if he couldn't get his trust, he couldn't make their spirits crumble. Also they wouldn't loan him any forks. That was a problem.

"Alright," he said, deciding to humor her and not read Zecora's mind. "How can I get them to trust me?"

"Oh, I know. Follow me and I will show. You," and Zecora walked off through the forest, Bill floating behind.

"Okay, okay. So this is what you're suggesting," said Bill, now with Zecora in her potion-filled hut. "You're telling me to drink a potion and gain a physical pony body in order to 'fit in'. Not even I know why these flesh - no, ponies are so generally untrusting. Trust no one, am I right?"

Zecora nodded, holding up a yellow colored potion in a vial. "If you drink this, then pony you will become. And if you drink this," she continued, holding up a black potion in another vial. "Then your time as a pony will be done."

"Alright," said Bill. "I can't drink it like a per-pony, but I can do this." Bill picked up the yellow potion. Then he popped his eye out, leaving a black space in place. He held his eye up to see the surprised expression on Zecora's face. He added a miniature umbrella to the potion and tossed it, glass, umbrella and all into the dark hole where his slitted eye was. He popped his eye back in. And with a poofing noise, Bill was transformed into a pony.

He had bright yellow fur, the same color as his triangular-self. He was a little less fat than the other ponies, and a little taller, too. Two yellow wings, a bit bigger than a pegasus's were on his back. A messy mane of gray formed bangs around the yellow horn on his head, which was a bit longer than a unicorn's. And instead of having that swirl that spiraled around it, his horn looked like it was pieced together by yellow bricks. He had a similarly messy gray tail. A black top hat floated off his head, trailing behind it when he walked, as if trying desperately to keep up. A black, triangular bowtie inexplicably stuck to his neck without the aid of a strap to keep it on. His hooves were pitch black, and his four legs had a brick-shaped pattern along them. His left eye looked exactly the same as his eye did when he was a triangle, but his right eye was covered by a black, triangle-shaped eyepatch. A Cutie Mark shaped like his triangular self with his arms spread slightly and eye staring straight out. As a final touch, a giant grin was on his face, reminiscent of the one he wore when Pine Tree was his puppet. He nodded his new head, satisfied with himself.

"I'm not one for formalities, but thanks, Zecora! Hey, do me a favor and keep that black potion safe for me. I AM going to need it." Bill took a few steps before ramming into the door painfully once, twice, and then three times before it flew open to admit the laughing alicorn into the forest beyond. Zecora peeped her head out of the doorway to watch as Bill ambled away, taking care to run into the most painful trees and pricker bushes, seemingly oblivious to the thorns.

"Perhaps I should have viewed this from a different angle. Because I'm not too sure that I trust this triangle," Zecora said. She looked down at the black potion still in her hoof, the one that would turn Bill back into his triangle self. With a glance at the direction Bill had left in, Zecora slammed the potion on the ground, shattering the vial. The dark liquid seeped into the earth, disappearing. With another wary glance, Zecora walked inside her hut, leaving the shattered remains of the vial, and Bill's only chance of returning to his Dream Demon form, behind her closed door.

Bill, meanwhile, had not realized that the black potion had been destroyed. He was too busy hurting his new physical form in every possible way. He had run through thorn bushes, almost drowned himself in a river, threw stones at a beehive (and might I add he got stung many times) , and generally inflicted as much damage as he could without permanently harming his new body or, you know, killing himself. All the while, he was laughing and laughing. So it was no wonder how he ended up attracting the attention of a large pack of the ferocious beasts of the Everfree. A pack of Timberwolves, to be exact.

Bill was just about to put an oddly-shaped and possibly poisonous berry into his new mouth when he heard a low growling noise. It was a miracle that he managed to get his badly-damaged body to move out of the way just before a Timberwolf jumped at him from clump of nearby bushes.

"Awww," cooed Bill. "Lookit the little murder puppy! So CUTE!" at the last word, Bill's blocky horn flared with an ice blue, fire-shaped aura and the Timberwolf was lifted, yelping, into the air. However, it didn't stay there long as Bill's smile was replaced by a grimace and he fell to his knees, allowing the Timberwolf to fall as well. The only reason the Timberwolf didn't attack Bill then and there was because his wooden paws shattered upon impact with the ground.

Bill got to his hooves, grumbling. "I can't believe this," he growled. "That potion inhibits my magical abilities? I know I can do better than THAT!" Bill said angrily, pointing to the Timberwolf's shattered paws as it slowly dragged itself to a nearby oak tree. Bill suddenly had an idea as he became aware of the intense (and hilarious) pain he felt. "Ohhhh," he said with a short laugh. "THAT'S it! I need to HEAL myself first! Hahahaha! Sorry, pain, but you're leavin'!"

Bill's new body was engulfed in a magical, blue fire. When it receded, Bill's various cuts and scrapes were completely gone. "There we go!" he said. He noticed the Timberwolf began to carve new paws for itself out of the oak tree it had reached. "Oh, no ya don't!" Bill said as the Timberwolf was, once again, lifted into the air by a fiery blue aura.

But again, Bill fell to the ground, and again, the Timberwolf's paws shattered as it fell also. "Augh! Stupid physical form. It looks like my magic IS limited!" huffed Bill as he rose again. He smacked the useless horn on his head a few times. It emitted some blue, magical sparks, but ultimately did nothing. But the downed Timberwolf let out a howl, drawing Bill's attention away from his unicorn horn. The howl was answered by many others as more Timberwolves appeared out of the bushes.

"Ah hahahaha! You moronic wolves have no idea what the force you're messing with is! No really," continued Bill, reading their unintellegent thoughts. "It says right here you've never heard of Bill Cipher before. And also you're Timberwolves? Ha! Puns…" said Bill, laughing.

The Timberwolves growled at the offending yellow pony. They could understand the language of ponies, and this foolish one before them was taunting them. Them! The great beasts of the Everfree! This would not do at all. There was a sound of splintering wood when suddenly a Timberwolf exploded.

The remaining wolves yelped and leapt away from the small bits of wood. Bill grinned as he hovered in the air, his alicorn's wings beating faster than a hummingbird's. He zoomed around forwards, backwards and upside down, taunting the Timberwolves. Each time one leapt at him, his buzzing wing would cause it to break into tiny splinters. Once every wolf was reduced to splinters, Bill turned, still flying, towards Ponyville in the distance. But a noise stopped him.

Landing back on the ground, Bill wandered through the splinters, still smiling even when they got stuck in him. He finally came across a blue bird, the magnificent and elusive Blue Phoenix. She was angry, annoyed, and completely covered in splinters. When she saw Bill, she let out a warning cry, but the yellow alicorn paid no heed to the bird's warnings.

"I see," said Bill with a quick glance into the phoenix's mind. "You were eaten whole by the biggest Timberwolf."

The phoenix was surprised. "You understand me?" she asked.

Bill shrugged. "I can read your mind, so yeah," he replied. "But I thought phoenixes could burn things, most notably wood. Any reason you couldn't escape without me blowing up these living logs?" Bill, of course, knew the answer.

The phoenix shifted a bit, causing some splinters to fall. "Blue Phoenixes don't have any magic powers. But we are smarter than the normal kind!" She added, trying to defend herself.

Bill's grin grew wider. This was a perfect opportunity to test to see if his… negotiating skills were still intact.

"Let's make a deal, shall we…?"

Author's Note:

Reviewers have begun yelling at me in "all caps" to make me write up another chapter. So ya know what? You win! But let's just get a review on what exactly Bill is like.

You see, Bill strikes me as the kind of person/triangle who would like to have his plans work out perfectly and in as little time as possible. In other words, he's fairly lazy. Or at least he's laid back. This shows in his sheer inability to keep calm when something he didn't account for gets in the way of whatever he's scheming up. He doesn't want to deal with that, but he has to or else his plans fail even more notably. So he freaks out, grows super big, and finally takes initiative, trying to take out his enemies (notably Pine Tree and Shooting Star) in a fight. He's finally doing something the hard way, but by then it's already too late.

Shoot. Now you might realize where I'm going with this story. Oh, well!

Anyway, Bill's Fangirls were surprisingly quiet as a spoke about his inabilitie-

(Fangirls rush up on stage and tackle Snappy to the ground)

No! Stop! STOOOOOO-

-SnappyDragon