Chapter Two
The flatfoot stepped into the prosecutor's lobby and awaited his call to the courtroom. He took a few migraine pills he'd kept in his pocket, but the musty atmosphere countered it all. He sighed.
"Sir!" Mike Meekins darted into the room with a covered bowl in his hands. "Good luck in your testimony, sir!"
"What's this?" the detective looked puzzled as he observed the hot bowl the officer carried bare-handed.
"You won't be called in for a while, sir," the officer handed the detective the bowl, "so I figured you would appreciate some instant noodles… sir!"
"Thanks, pal," the detective openly accepted the ramen. He didn't eat it because it was affordable. He ate it because it was his favorite food. The low price was only a bonus; he'd have kept buying it had it been the highest-priced item in the supermarket near his apartment.
"'Pal?'" Meekins swooned over the title he thought he'd been given. He had the misfortune of never catching Gumshoe on a good day, so he'd never heard him say 'pal' before.
"What flavor is it?" the good detective asked, slurping away at the commoner's food.
"It's the chicken flavor! It's your favorite, right sir?"
"You've done your homework, pal!" the detective was uplifted by Meekins' gift. "How'd you know?"
"It's the only flavor I've ever seen you eat, sir!" Meekins inappropriately shouted through his megaphone.
The door to the courtroom burst open. On the other end, there was silence.
"Am I in already?" the detective asked with a mouthful of noodles.
"Mr. Edgeworth instructed me to tell Meekins to 'keep it down!'" the bailiff hissed.
"Sorry, everyone!" Meekins shouted through his megaphone once more.
With a sigh, the bailiff closed the door. Gumshoe only caught a glimpse of the defense attorney, who sweated bullets. He only really noticed his hair.
The detective pondered the idea that the defense carried a porcupine on their head, as he chugged the broth of his personal delicacy.
"Would you like more, sir?" the officer asked openly.
"Nah. I shouldn't eat too much before a trial," the detective had no idea why a full stomach would affect his performance, but he always took this precaution just in case.
"Ah, yes!" Meekins pounded his palm. "Didn't that great detective, Sherlock Holmes, once say that you work better the hungrier you are, sir?"
"I've never really read the book," the detective scratched his head, "though I probably should. I do have a few of them somewhere…"
The legendary detective was interrupted by a certain pink woman who stepped into the prosecutor's lobby. Naturally, it was Miss April May.
She didn't wear her plastered smile at this time, however, and Gumshoe figured she did this because she didn't notice the two officials (that being Gumshoe and Meekins) in the room.
"White didn't say I'd have to testify…" the woman hissed.
"'White?'" the detective thought. "I don't remember reading about a 'white' anywhere in the file Mr. Edgeworth gave me…"
Miss May then noticed the two officials, who pretended not to notice her. She shook her head, and then wore the smiling face once more.
"I'll have to look into a 'White' later," Gumshoe scribbled this on his yellow notepad, which he slipped into his pocket.
"Detective Gumshoe," the bailiff cracked the door and whispered, "you've been called to the stand."
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"Witness," the perfect prosecutor commanded, "state your name and occupation."
"My name," the detective said calmly, "is Dick Gumshoe, and I'm the detective of the homicide department of the local precinct."
"Very good," the judge said. "Mr. Wright, do you need a repetition?"
"N-no, Your Honor," the spiky-headed attorney sweated.
"Are you sure?" Edgeworth asked. "We had to remind you that you forgot your pants and your badge earlier…"
"I'm fine," the defense attorney reassured.
"May I testify now?" the detective asked. "About the defendant's arrest? We have hard evidence to present, and I'm getting impatient."
"Very well," the judge nodded. "Detective, please proceed."
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GUMSHOE'S TESTIMONY:
THE ARREST OF MAYA FEY
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"As soon as the phone call came in," the detective raised his finger, "I rushed to the scene. There were two people there already: the defendant, Ms. Maya Fey, and that spiky-haired lawyer over there, Mr. Phoenix Wright. I immediately arrested the defendant here, Ms. Maya Fey. As for why I didn't also arrest Mr. Wright, we had a witness account describing the attacker. The witness saw Ms. Maya fey at the very moment of the murder. "
"Hold it!" the newbie lawyer shouted.
"Is it necessary to yell that so loud and point at me?" Detective Gumshoe asked. "It's rude to point. Hasn't your mother taught you any manners?"
"Ack…!" the attorney began to sweat. The detective knew by looking into his eyes that he was comparing the personalities of the prosecutor and Gumshoe. "…I mean… is this your so-called 'hard-evidence,' detective?"
"Nope."
"Then…!"
"Witness," the judge said.
"You mean 'detective', Your Honor."
"Yes, I mean, Detective," the judge said. "Please testify about this 'hard evidence.'"
Edgeworth shot Gumshoe a smarmy smile, and the detective nodded in reply.
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GUMSHOE'S TESTIMONY:
HARD EVIDENCE
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"After searching the suspect," the flatfoot testified, "I examined the scene of the crime myself. I found a memo written on a piece of paper next to the victims' body. On it, the name 'Maya' was written on it clearly in blood!"
The detective paused to assure there were no questions. The defense attorney searched through his briefcase in search of contradictory evidence.
"You'' have the chance to scream 'objection' soon, pal," the detective thought, remembering the first attack Edgeworth had planned.
"Lab test results showed that the blood belonged to the victim," Edgeworth assured.
"Objection!" Wright shouted, pointing at Edgeworth. "Your Honor, Mr. Edgeworth's statement just now… clearly contradicts this piece of evidence!"
Wright pulled the autopsy report from his suitcase.
"…It does?" the judge asked. "I can't say I'm quite sure how."
"…Neither can I…" Wright realized he was wrong. "I think I accidentally hit the wrong button…"
"Button?" the detective thought. "He talks as if he's playing in some sort of video-game!"
"Objection overruled," the judge shook his head. "Try to think things through more clearly before making accusations, Mr. Wright."
"That sure didn't score me any points with the judge…" Phoenix mumbled.
"Continue, detective," Edgeworth crossed his arms.
"There was matching blood found on the victim's finger," the detective said. "Looking at the facts, one could assume that the victim, Ms. Mia Fey, wrote the message herself."
"Objection!" Wright shouted again.
"Finally," Scruffy McTrenchcoat thought with a sigh. "This is the right statement."
"The autopsy report shows that Mia… I mean… the victim, died immediately!" Eight-bit music began playing with the last word.
"Mr. Wright!" the judge fumed.
"Yes, Your Honor?" the defense said with a cocky smile.
"Why did you kick that jukebox below your desk?" he asked. "What did we say earlier about character themes in the courtroom?"
"Sorry, Your Honor…" the attorney crouched down and turned off the concealed music-player.
"…What do you have to say to this, Mr. Edgeworth?" His Honor asked.
"I have a question for the defense."
"Oh?"
"When pray tell, did you get that copy of the autopsy report?"
"Hm… the day after the crime, if I recall," Wright rubbed his chin.
"That report," the prosecutor opened both arms and shook his head, "is outdated."
"Whaaaaaat!" the attorney's jaw dropped, and his chin raised high.
"That's right, pal," Gumshoe held up the updated autopsy report that the forensics had given him just last night. "A more detailed search has been made. We've found that the victim may have lived for a few more minutes before death."
"…You're a sham, Edgeworth!" Wright cried. "What's happened to you? You used to be an honest person, but now here you are forging evidence!"
"The defense will refrain from making personal remarks against the prosecution!" the judge shouted.
"If you doubt this document," Edgeworth wagged his finger, "then you're welcome to call the forensic scientist in question to the stand, but I may warn you that on such a short-term notice, she will likely not be able to make it. Should the trial be prolonged (which I doubt), she will likely be able to join us tomorrow."
"The defense's objection is overruled," the judge nodded. "Mr. Edgeworth, you are not doubted."
"Dammit, Edgeworth…" Wright pounded his desk, and Edgeworth laughed at his incompetence.
"Is there any more, detective?" the judge asked.
"No, sir."
"I have another witness," Edgeworth bowed. "Ms. April May, who claims to have seen the whole thing unfold."
"Very well," the judge nodded. "I'm calling a ten-minute recess. In that time, the prosecution will prepare their next witness. Court is adjourned."
END CHAPTER TWO
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...
I hope this chapter is enjoyable so far! I used real lines from the game in this case (for the testimony and the 'You're a Sham, Edgeworth!' portions.)
In the next chapters, you won't hear April May's testimony, since Gumshoe won't be in the courtroom. Instead, I plan for Gumshoe to question Ms. May about the case, as well as this 'White' character. So if you think you know these cases from the game, think again, pal. You're in for a whole new perspective, chock-full of instant-noodles.
On an unrelated note, I was making some hot chocolate with some year-old cocoa, and it just tasted like hot water with marshmallow. I've tried it with milk, and had a similar experience. Does anyone know how to make it work, or did I break the chocolate? Note that I have a love of coffee and chocolate, for I'm probably going to write those two foods into this fanfiction somewhere...