And the angst continues... Sorry. *hides*
Hermione crawled into work Monday morning. Her desk was piled with work, as usual. Thick files and hazardly stacked memos rife with everything from lost crups -and how did she get those?- to the illegal breeding of unicorns and the alleged sightings of Manticores. Often it was just busy work. But she was thankful for it that day and her little cubby-hole of an office. A place she could hide and wallow.
She felt hungover…though not one drop of alcohol had passed her lips. Every part of her ached, her head pounding, her eyes raw. She broke down the moment he'd disapparated. Curling into a ball on the bed, the sheets fisted and pulled to her damp face and his scent…everywhere. On the sheets, the pillows, her skin, in her.
What had she done? Because he was right. So completely right.
Severus Snape had been her delightfully dirty little secret.
How had he put up with that for two years? Two years of him doing everything she asked of him. Offering himself completely to her whims. And she –fucking cow that she was— had given him nothing.
Hermione snatched at the tears that streamed onto her cheeks. And now he'd find a witch that would meet his expectations. One who would use him for more than sex. No, no, wouldn't use him at all. Would be proud to be seen with him, be on his arm. In the street. In a restaurant. On the front page of The Prophet.
Her gut twisted. Yes, there was that curl of cowardice. She sneered at herself. What would others think of the war-hero, Hermione Granger, being seen out and about with the notorious Bat of the Dungeons? How could she? Was she fucking him? How could anyone—
Hermione pressed her hands to her face and fought back a strangled sob. Why was her reputation so important? What did it matter what the wizarding world thought? When had she become this…craven? She back into her comfortable chair, the one she thought she deserved... When her position in the world began to matter. Her job. Her influence…
Severus had made her happy. So fucking happy she thought her heart would burst. And she'd thrown it and him away to be seen with…trinkets. Pretty wizards. Vacuous, empty-headed men who saw her as just as much as a trophy as she saw them.
Carlos had been pressing for more from her. A wizard had needs, he'd said, and since they were thought to be an item, they might as well find an added benefit… And she'd even thought about fucking him to keep him interested and at her side. Though how that would happen, when at the end of night out, she had to stand up wind from him because of the pervading, sulphurous stink. There were some secrets not shared about dragonologists…
No, she'd seen it as simply a business arrangement. Selfish, selfish cow.
Severus didn't deserve her. He didn't.
"Hermione?" Daphne Greengrass knocked and opened the office door, a thick file pressed to her chest. "I have—" She stopped. "Are you all right?"
Hermione grabbed a tissue from a box in her drawer and wiped her face. She grabbed another and blew her nose. "No, no not really."
"Wizard trouble?"
She snorted. "How did you guess?"
"Carlos?" Daphne wrinkled her nose. "I never did like him. Far too pretty by half."
Hermione pressed yet another tissue to her suddenly leaking eyes. "I'm a shallow cow. Who'd ever have thought the bookworm, ink-stained, bushy-haired Hermione Granger would catch a gorgeous wizard?"
That had been another part of her motivation. Because it wasn't the way the world worked, was it? The plain girl never got the gorgeous man. And Carlos was so very beautiful. Tall, dark with the lean build of a natural athlete. And his accent only added to the package. But he'd never made her heart patter. Not once. Not the way Severus could with a mere lift of his eyebrow. Her throat tightened. Idiot. Idiot.
And the wizard wouldn't take her back. Another sob broke from her. Her Severus.
"Hermione, go home." Daphne's voice was soft and lined with sympathy, but Hermione shook her head.
"It's worse there. He…" She drew in a long deep breath. "There are so many reminders there." She looked up and the warmth in the other witch's eyes tightened her throat. "He was the one, Daphne. And I don't know what I'm going to do."
Daphne gave her a small smile. "Hermione Granger giving up?"
She huffed out a breath and wiped away more tears. "He's given up on me and he has every right to do so." She straightened in her chair. "Work. Work till it bleeds out of my ears. That's what I need."
"You should talk to him."
Hermione shook her head. "Ending…" Her voice cracked and she pulled in a steadying breath. "Ending it was right. I was…" She winced and looked at the file Daphne held. "That's for me?"
Daphne flicked through the thick run of parchment. "Manticore sighting in the New Forest."
"Again? Someone has one stashed there, I'm certain."
The file slapped to the desk. Daphne grinned at her. "Then find them and bring them to justice!"
Hermione stared after the witch as the door shut to her small office. She let out a long sigh. She could hardly admit that she was heart-broken over Severus Snape. Though she'd wanted to. Ached to. He had his right to his privacy now…now that they were finished.
She opened the file to a blurred wizarding photograph of a forest and the caught form of one of the magical world's most deadly creatures.
Yes. Work. Work till her ears bled.
More tomorrow!