This chapter explains everything that happened to Bella and Edward's not so secret anymore secret.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, sadly. How I would love to own Twilight, but I don't.
Edward's POV
This news was a great shock to me. I simply couldn't believe Mike Newton would do something that heinous. The drugs must be having a serious effect on him.
"Bella, I am so sorry you had to witness that. And what he said to you. Oh, that foul creature. The saddest part is, I caused it," I said, guiltily.
She looked up at me, on the verge of tears.
"Y-you told him to do that?"
I was taken back.
"No, no! God, no. Bella, I think it's time I told you my problem. My addiction, really. I-"
Suddenly, Alice burst into the closet we were in. "Hey, lunch is over. Get on to biology. Now. What were you two doing in there anyway?"
Bella and I stepped out, and Bella answered before I could.
"Edward and I had to discuss something privately, without you or Emmett listening in."
Alice just smirked as we walked away.
We were about half way to class when Bella asked me, "Edward, what did you mean by addiction?"
I sighed and said, "Never mind. You don't need to know anymore. I changed my mind."
She pouted, then looked serious again.
Her eyes narrowed, "You didn't mean a, like a drug addiction, or something like that, did you?"
My eyes widened as I shook my head furiously. The expression on her face told me she didn't believe me, but didn't say anything else as we just entered the classroom.
Unfortunately, Bella was my lab partner. I wouldn't underestimate her to passing notes, either. I decided to take the focus off my issue and point it on hers.
Bella's POV
When he said the word addiction and that it caused Mike to act so out of character, my thoughts immediately drifted to drugs.
He was overly protective when I questioned him, but never denied it. He just shook his head.
Still, it was impossible to think of Edward doing drugs. To pop pills in his mouth, inject needles in his system, slowly killing himself every day. If it was drugs, I really didn't want to know for my sanity. But, I couldn't be selfish. If it was what my suspicions confirmed, I needed to help him before the addiction got out of hand.
Let's say the problem isn't drugs or alcohol, or anything that addictive and traumatizing.
What could be so horrid to explain? Anything I could understand more than doing drugs, anything.
Suddenly, I felt a slip of paper on my leg.
It was from Edward, he wrote:
What can I do about Newton and the 'issue?'
I responded:
Tell me your secret and we'll work from there. I won't judge you, even if I am right. You know, you don't even have to explain everything. You don't have to document it, either. Say yes if I'm right, no if I'm wrong. Let me know that much, please. I'll then let you do anything with Mike you want to. Just please.
He read it and reread it so many times, his brow furrowing the more he did. He was confused on what to say. I looked away and tried to pay attention to the lesson.
It was 3 minutes before class was over when I got a response.
He said:
Yes, I am so sorry. I won't explain, at least not any time soon. I'll tell you when I'm ready to talk.
My eyes widened in horror, and he didn't dare look my way. I made it through the rest of the day not speaking to him.
Edward's POV
I felt really bad about telling Bella. I shouldn't have told her anything. It's been over a month and we haven't spoken much since, only when necessary. I knew it was because of the day in biology, but I didn't have the courage to talk to her about it.
My drug addiction has become much more frequent in the past month. My social skills were plummeting down, talking to little or no one.
That was why it shocked me when I received a note from Bella on top of my book in English Lit.
She wrote:
I can't stand this anymore. Why are you avoiding talking to me? Did I do something wrong? I need to talk to you. Please. Tell me what I did wrong.
I was shocked that she thought that I was the one avoiding her. I had thought she was avoiding me.
I replied:
Bella, you did nothing wrong. I thought you were avoiding me because of that day in biology about a month ago. I feel really guilty for telling you. I am so sorry.
She read it, but didn't reply. I wondered if that was it, like she wasn't going to say anything else.
The bell rang and we were dismissed, and I still hadn't gotten a response.
I grabbed my things and headed towards the door, when two hands grabbed my arm and dragged me into the closet where we had talked before.
Bella's POV
It had been about three and a half weeks since the day in biology, and Edward was trying very hard to avoid me.
I was about to explode. I needed answers, and I needed them now. I needed to know why he was avoiding me for starters. Me knowing what was going on couldn't be that unbearable, could it?
So, today in English Lit. I decided t write him a note, since he was diagonal from me.
It consisted of basically all my worries about him avoiding me and why.
I sat it on his book and he looked utterly shocked and extremely confused.
He read it and gave me a response quickly.
I opened it and felt anger bubble inside me, along with relief.
I just couldn't believe he thought I was avoiding him because of his 'secret', when I thought he was avoiding me for the same reason. That was where the relief came in.
The anger was from that he felt guilty about telling me and he was 'so sorry.'
I couldn't believe that either. I was the one that wanted to know, why should he feel sorry? And guilty? Did that mean he regretted it?
I decided not to reply, but to use a more direct approach.
Edward's POV
In the janitor's closet, I just stared at her. She looked almost infuriated.
When she spoke, her tone surprised me, "Edward, what can I do to make this stop?"
Bella asked this pleadingly, as if this was hurting her, a lot.
"Make what stop?" I asked.
"Make you and drugs stop, and this awkwardness now that you've told me. Make everything that's going on just stop and go back to how it was. Really, you shouldn't feel guilty that you've told me. You should feel guilty about what you're doing to yourself. Why, Edward? Why." Her voice broke off at the end.
I didn't know what to say. I just looked at her and spoke what first came to mind.
"This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you. I knew you'd take this on yourself. You'd want to stop it. I-I don't think I want to stop anymore. I can't stop anymore. And I'm so sorry my mistake is causing you pain. That's why I didn't want to tell you. It would only hurt you."
I stared at the ground, refusing to look at her.
I heard her say, "Edward, do you realize how terrible I would feel if nothing was done about this and something happened to you? You can't expect me to not do anything. To sit around and watch you do this to yourself. I can't do that to you. I need to know what brought this on."
"Bella, please don't torture yourself. IT'S. NOT. YOUR. FAULT. I didn't do anything when that vile Mike Newton threatened you. Can't you do the same for me?" I begged.
Bella's POV
When he brought up Mike, tears formed in my eyes as I remembered that day.
Flashback
I was walking down the hall, trying to find Alice before lunch. I heard some one scream down the opposite hallway.
I ran down there quickly, not really wanting to just avoid it. The view I got scared me to death.
Mike Newton was there raping some innocent girl. My eyes widened and tears formed and I screamed, really loud. I couldn't help myself; it was terrible.
The foul creature looked my way and scowled deeply. He looked like an animal ready to pounce.
He spat, "Don't
tell anyone, or this will be you next."
I couldn't speak or move.
"Promise me you won't tell anyone. Swear to me that no one else will know about this," he said angrily.
I whispered, "I promise. I swear to you that I will tell no one."
He nodded and said, "Go, now."
I ran the down he hall that led to the bathroom where I ran into Alice.
I prayed to God she didn't realize I'd been crying.
Alice being Alice, though. She did.
"Bella, what's wrong? Did something happen to you?"
"No. I'm fine
let's go."
"Okay," she said reluctantly.
End Flashback
I couldn't help the tear that spilled over.
"Edward, you didn't answer my question. What made you start doing drugs?" I asked, shakily.
He didn't answer right away, but brushed the tear off of my cheek instead.
"I don't really think you're ready to hear that yet. Or maybe I'm just not ready to say it." He sighed, frustrated.
"I started doing drugs, because I was scared. Scared of what I was feeling."
"What do you mean?" I asked stupidly.
"Bella, I- just please don't blame yourself."
"Edward, I'm confused. I don't know what you mean."
"Bella, I started doing drugs, because-"
Suddenly, there were three loud bangs on the door.
Yeah, I am not going to explain everything that fast. No way. She won't find out the real reason until much later on. It might be obvious, but I don't know. It depends on how well you pick up on things and how your mind works. I am trying to not give it away, but it will have to become more obvious later on.
I will probably include Mike later on, but whether Edward lets him hurt Bella, I don't know. If I do have him reappear, that might cause the rating to go up. Just depends.
And just so you know, I have nothing against Mike, but it was him, Jacob, or Tyler.
I was tempted to do Tyler, but Mike always fits. Besides, he's 'under the influence.'
Yeah, well, whatever just review.