This is set in Episode 19, when Uzura gives Fakir "Ahiru's" love letter. If the contents of the letter seem a bit… flowery, I'm just going by the expression on Ahiru's face at the end of the episode, when she finally reads it; judging from her expression, Pique and Lilie must have gone all out. Which made me very interested to see what Fakir's reaction must have been…
Disclaimer: Princess Tutu was created by Ikuko Itoh. I'm just temporarily borrowing it in order to further embarrass… er, explore the characters.
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Theme 2: News; letter
"Love love love love love love love…"
He was going to kill Uzura one of these days.
"Love love love love love love love…"
Not that she was technically, well, alive, but still. It was the principle of the thing.
"Love love love love love love love…"
Then again, her next incarnation might be even more annoying, so perhaps it might be best to leave her alive. Animated. Whatever.
"Love love love love love love love…"
Though if she kept drumming like that, he might change his mind.
"Love love love… Fakir!"
At least that infernal drumming had stopped. "What?"
"I found Ahiru's love-love-zura!"
"Her what?"
"Her love-love-zura!" She handed him… an envelope? "I found it on the ground-zura!" And marched away, drumming enthusiastically. "Love love love love love love love…"
He waited until her racket had faded into the distance before looking at the envelope again. It was bright red, and edged with a nauseating shade of pink that seemed designed to either adorn love letters or cause seizures, but what really caught his gaze were the names on the front.
"Ahiru," read the name in the top left corner. And then, inside the cut-out heart in the bottom right corner, "Fakir," read the other.
What the…?
Prying open the wax seal, he was pleasantly surprised to discover that the letter wasn't perfumed or, even worse, written on pink paper. Now all he had to do was unfold the paper, and read it.
He really was going to read it.
Any moment now.
What if the letter wasn't even for him? It wasn't as if someone had sent it to him, after all; Uzura had only found it on the ground. For all he knew, it was supposed to have been sent to someone completely different. Maybe he should just…
This is ridiculous.
The letter itself was short, and, for a love letter, to the point:
My Darling Fakir, it began,
I can no longer hold myself back from confessing any longer. I love you, Fakir, love you truly and deeply. My longing for you knows no bounds, and I wish only for you to be mine. O my love, say that you will be mine!
With Love,
And A Thousand Kisses,
Your Beloved Ahiru
Oh, yes. He was definitely going to kill Uzura one day.
- - -
After twenty minutes of staring industriously at a point about six inches away from his nose, he decided that Ahiru could not possibly have written that letter.
This conclusion was the result of intuition, careful reasoning, and blind panic at the thought of any other possibility being true. For one thing, it simply didn't sound like her. Even as the considerably-more-articulate Princess Tutu, she always retained an earnest directness that this letter showed little of. And the hopeless longing, the implication that her life would be meaningless if he didn't return her love… That wasn't Ahiru. She'd faced death, and worse than death, with a smile and an appeal to her enemy's better nature; she'd never be as floridly melodramatic as the letter made her sound. Silly, yes, sometimes. Flustered and unsure of herself, a lot of times. But not melodramatic.
Unless… No, that was silly. But what if she'd asked those friends of hers to help her write it? The letter might not sound like her, but if the half-heard inanities he remembered from class were any indication, then it did sound quite a bit like them.
Could they have written it on her behalf? But that made no sense. Why send a confession letter to someone that she wasn't in love with?
Unless… Had she done or said something that made them get the wrong idea? Something about waking up in your bed? said a smug little voice in the back of his head that sounded vaguely like Rue. Or being seen naked by you? Twice? How about the time you dove over a cliff to catch her without a second thought? Or the time –
Shut up! he snarled at it. He'd put up with Uzura's drumming and chanting, and it seemed that his dignity being compromised on a regular basis was a natural consequence of spending time with Ahiru, but he'd be damned before he allowed his own mind to bully him. Anyway, it was possible that she'd mentioned those… instances to her friends, but he doubted it. Every time they'd been in a situation like that, they'd been dealing with something connected to her being Princess Tutu, and she wouldn't just blow her cover over something silly.
So either the letter had been written by another person altogether, Ahiru's friends were trying to stir up trouble – possible; he didn't know much about them beyond the fact that they were giggly, and that Ahiru liked them – or Ahiru had mentioned something unconnected to her being Princess Tutu that had given her friends the wrong idea.
If it was the last one, then what on earth had she said? He couldn't very well ask her. "Hey. What did you say to your friends that made them think you were in love with me?" Yeah, that'd go over well. Besides, now that he thought of it, did it even matter? No matter who had written the letter or what had caused it to be written, they both knew where they stood. She wasn't in love with him, and he… well, it didn't really matter. The point was, it wasn't as if some stupid fake love letter could change that.
Unless, of course, the letter wasn't fake.
Unless…
No. She's not… she doesn't… she loves Mytho!
The letter had become crumpled at some point; absently, he smoothed it out. He was being ridiculous, anyway. The next time he saw her, he'd ask her about it, and if she didn't write it, or ask someone else to write it for her… fine. If not…
He was absolutely not going to think about "if not."
The bell was tolling; time to go home. He smoothed down the letter again, tucked it into his pocket, and headed home.