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(You all asked... I caved and wrote another chapter...shorter but hopefully still funny. More Crack including Patchy, Prowl, Jazz and the ARK crew XD And thanks to everyone who reviewed and faved :D)

Feeding Patchy had become a kind of novelty on the ARK. Everybot clambered to have a go at feeding the giraffe. Ratchet was still thanking Primus that Sparkling Energon was the same colour as the cow extract that Carly had said the baby needed to drink. His only question now was how to turn the solid food neon pink so Jazz didn't freak out over his 'sparkling's' eating habits when she grew older.

The little madam had a way of demanding her food too. The small giraffe would trot up to someone and kick them in the ankle joint, normally downing them in surprise before giving a soft snort and paw at the floor. The only exception to this demand for food was Jazz who would get a nuzzle on the leg and the saboteur would gladly go and fetch her some food, cradling and cooing at her. Poor Prowl, Bluestreak and Smokescreen had landed on their wings at least twice thanks to the shock of someone suddenly giving a good kick to their ankle joint. The only good thing that had come out of the method was that the squeakiness in Wheeljack's ankle had virtually disappeared thanks to a solid kick. Ratchet was still annoyed that he hadn't figured it out that all his friend needed was a kick to rectify the problem, Wheeljack wouldn't let him try it.

The most humorous incident had been when Patchy had demanded feeding from Optimus himself. He had been talking to Elita on the far range comms on the command deck when Patchy had trotted in, blindsided him and sent him cascading onto the floor with a good kick to a recently repaired ankle joint. Elita still said it was the funniest fall she had ever seen Optimus take. The large Autobot leader wind milling his arms wildly as he keeled over backwards and a small giraffe that he had failed to mention to Elita pawing the floor beside his head. The femme was still laughing hysterically when her Bondmate moodily shut off the comm. and went off to feed the pleased little yellow and brown creature happily trotting after him, leaving a group of mechs snickering on the Command deck sneakily taking image captures.

-Prowl and Jazz's Quarters-

"Jazz, I've told you a thousand times!" snapped Prowl "Get her off the berth and into one of her own!"

The TIC scowled at his mate from the other side of their shared recharge berth, the small giraffe curled up at the head, curiously watching them. "She's our sparkling Prowl, we done this with Bluestreak!"

"Bluestreak wasn't liable to wake me up by chewing on my nose at two in the fragging morning!" Prowl replied "Giraffe stays off the bed!"

"Patchy stays on the bed!" Jazz argued back before suddenly getting distracted by the female critter's coat "aww she needs a good polish"

"No she… wha?" Prowl stumbled over the conversation change as Jazz walked over to the personal washrack and came back with a brush and what appeared to be a transformer sized spray bottle.

Prowl immediately shot in front of Patchy "Woah! Jazz! What is that?"

"Something Ratchet gave me to wash her with" Jazz replied confused showing the bottle to his bondmate. "Apparently it gets dirt and stuff out really well."

"Jazz it's water" the Praxian mech replied sloshing the liquid inside

"No it's some special polish Ratchet whisked up for sparklings" the TIC replied happily stealing back the bottle and attending to the now excited Patchy. "Who wants a wash? Yes you!" Jazz cooed as he misted the spray over the giraffe's back and beginning to brush.

"I really hope we didn't act like that when Bluestreak was a Sparkling" Prowl muttered slumping into a chair and reading a data-pad shooting up in his chair as he realised one important detail. "Jazz! Don't wash her on the berth!"

-A few days Later-

Patchy had now been graced with a collar, Jazz having demanded one when Optimus insisted that she be either tied up or taken around on something akin to a leash. Wheeljack, in a fit of genius, designed one that would grow as Patchy did with a special tag engraved with Cybertronian glyphs that made the doors of the ARK announce her presence. It saved Ratchet the time and effort in repairing ankle joints if bots were aware that Jazz's 'baby' was around and was wanting to get fed.

Incidentally it also was the cause for his latest not so ingenuous project which Jazz inevitably found out about and nearly hit the roof.

"What on Earth do you think my baby will be doing?" Jazz screeched in a tizzy as Prowl and Ratchet played referee in the confines of Wheeljacks lab. Patchy tottering around encased in some, what could only be described as battle armour, complete with a rather fetching helmet.

"I don't know Jazz!" Wheeljack said twiddling his fingers nervously "Luck favours to prepare"

"You aren't exactly striking a good bargain 'Jack" Ratchet said with a snicker as Patchy ran around at their pedes clearly quite happy with her new additions.

As Jazz was going to throttle their engineer the alarms went off. Red Alert's voice shouting through the speakers "Decepticon attack!"

"See?" Wheeljack said nervously as Prowl and Jazz took off towards the entrance to the ARK, but not after extracting a promise from Ratchet to look after Patchy.

"Okay 'Jack" Ratchet sighed rubbing his optics as the doors to the lab shut "But don't make anything else for her until Jazz approves it, or Prowl for that matter. I think HIS parental Programming is also starting to come online; I caught him happily sitting with her in his lap the other day in the rec room. Now you look after the bundle of joy while I prep the medbay"

"Speaking of which where did Patchy go?" asked Wheeljack curiously looking under his lab table

"Patchy has left the room" the door panel finally beeped making the two older bot stare at each other in horror

A/N: I've written some more ideas down to include in this... odd story so watch out for the next chapter. Anyway I hope you all enjoyed it!