ACT 2 Scene I

A wood near Forks.

Alice skipped through the forest in her usual light fashion. It was night and she loved the way the forest came alive after the sun went down. She was entranced by the visions she had seen of the future. She was also rather keen on her new skill she had discovered recently. She could cast spells.

She was sincerely hoping to use one on their parents. For the first time in decades, Carlisle and Esme were fighting.

She saw a figure moving through the wood.

"Hello?" she called to it. "Where are you going?"

It was Jasper. He took her lack of recognition of him in his usual stride. "I was waiting for you," he told her.

"Over hill, over dale,

Thorough bush, thorough brier,

Over park, over pale,

Thorough flood, thorough fire,

I do wander everywhere,

Swifter than the moon's sphere;

And I serve the fairy queen,

To dew her orbs upon the green.

The cowslips tall her pensioners be:

In their gold coats spots you see;

Those be rubies, fairy favours,

In those freckles live their savours;

I must go seek some dew-drops here,

And hang a pearl in every cowslip's ear.

Farewell, thou lob of spirits; I'll be gone:

Our queen and all her elves come here anon."

Alice blinked at him. "Esme still pissed?" she asked.

"You got that right darlin'," he drawled. "I'm getting out of the house for a walk In the forest."

"Well," said Alice. "The king, Carlisle, will be back tonight. But I have seen that if they meet it will not be good."

"She has taken up with Nahuel that South American hybrid, the one she met on her last trip to Isle Esme."

"Yes, daddy does not approve."

"Only because he wants him for himself," noted Jasper. "Her precious elves have been hiding them both from him. By that I mean us; we've been intercepting his calls 'n all so he don't catch them in the act." He gave her an affectionate glance. "So what mischief have you been up to my puckish pixie?"

"Oh you know," she shrugged. "Frightening maids; telling housewives' their fortunes. Visiting the Denali clan with Carlisle."

Jasper nodded.

"Oh no," breathed Alice as her eyes went glassy; her usual symptom when she was having a vision of the future. "Dammit," she swore. "Carlisle."

"And Esme," stated Jasper.

Esme entered the clearing, followed by Rosalie, Emmett and Tanya Denali.

"Oh no. That was poor timing," Carlisle stated. "Still self important Esme?" he asked.

"Still jealous, Carlisle?" she asked him. She whispered to the others. "Let's go. I am not having sex with him."

"No." Carlisle called. "Am I not respectively your husband and your father?"

Esme rolled her eyes, but she stopped walking away from him. "Yes, we are still married. Even though you have not been living with us and I hear that you have been in Alaska." She inclined her head towards Tanya. "Speaking words of love to one you have taken as a mistress; the lovely Irina."

When Carlisle didn't react, she continued. "Or have you travelled all the way from Alaska, to witness the marriage of your last mistress to Billy Black? Hmmm?"

Carlisle sighed. "Yes the Viagra I got him did have an entirely unexpected side effect. How was I to know that he would start bedding every single woman on the rez? He argued the treaty at me; I had to let Tiffany go. And after that blow up with Joy Ateara, Allison Uley and his attempted dating of Sue Clearwater… letting him marry Tiffany solved all the problems."

"Jealousy… a very human emotion," she hissed at him. "Well," she huffed. "While you were away things have got very messy indeed. That new registrar at the hospital is hopeless; your new secretary filed all your paper work incorrectly. Edward has been behaving like a love struck fool. He's been stalking that Swan girl. Lurking in her room at night and behaving like a serial killer. Plus, he's been having sex with that werewolf girl. He comes home reeking of wet dog and trails mud all through the house, after I just replaced the carpets in an exquisite cream shag. I spent a small fortune on your crooked lawyer Mr J Jenks, getting new identity papers for the Swan girl that Edward insists on marrying and now she says she doesn't want him. She's off with a wolf boy too. Plus the whole tribe is behaving very oddly with Billy's wedding coming up. I have no idea what to buy them for a wedding present. And Emmet and Rosalie fucked the wall down on that delightful stone cottage I renovated for Edward and his new bride. The place is derelict now. And you took Alice away with you when I needed to know who was going to win 'America's next top model'. I need to know before the finals or I get so jumpy…"

Emmett was still smirking about the cottage.

"And it's all your fault!" Esme told Carlisle.

"Our fault," he corrected her and she glared at him again. "Or do you agree that all the fault lies with you because you won't let me have Nahuel?"

Her eyes narrowed. "I knew his mother. We were friends when she was pregnant. She loved him even though she knew his birth would result in her death." She shifted her shoulders; looking more determined. "For her sake, I will look after him and I will not part with him."

"So how long are you staying here in Forks?" Carlisle asked.

"Just till after the wedding. I accepted the invitation and you know how I am about good manners. Will I see you there? Did you wish to attend together?"

"Lend me Nahuel and I'll be your date."

"Never," she hissed at him. She turned and ran and her 'children' followed her. Jasper waved at Alice, she blew him a kiss and then he followed their fleeing figures.

"Alice? You remember when I heard the mermaids singing?"

"I do."

[AN: I need some way to make the magic love flower, so I have made Alice learn witchcraft.]

"They sang to you of their secrets, didn't they? And you listened and learned. And now you are my very own little cupid aren't you Alice?"

"Yes Carlisle, I can be."

"Hmmm…" he scratched his chin as he was thinking. "I need a potion, Alice. A love potion. A bottling of the essence of cupid and Eros. An ointment perhaps that can be applied to the eyelids of a sleeping victim… yes, that will stop any accidental applications and unforseen consequences. But you, of course, my little Alice, you can always see the consequences so they are not unforseen." He laughed at his own joke.

He clapped his hands. "And it would be extra super special if the ointment made the sleeper fall madly in love with the next living thing they see; not a person mind you Alice, but a 'living thing'. In the forest, that is sure to be unexpected don't you think?"

"Give me forty minutes," Alice said and she skipped off to get brewing. She failed to point out to him that the werewolves caused blank spots in her visions of the future.

Carlisle watched her go and then he started to muse aloud. "Once I have this ointment, I will sneak up on Esme and dab it on her eyelids. And when she wakes up she will fall in love … with a squirrel or a skunk or a mountain lion or a bear." He roared with laughter. "Oh, it'll be so funny. She will pursue the bewildered creature because she will be deeply, deeply in love with it."

He cocked his head. "Someone's coming. I need to hide." He leapt straight up into the air and stood on the lowest branch of a massive red cedar. He watched as Edward and Leah walked into the clearing.

"Leah for the last time, I don't love you. Will you stop following me! I am trying to find Jacob and Isabella. I am going to kill Jacob and take Isabella from him. You told me they were meeting in the forest and for that, I thank you. But I cannot accomplish either task if you keep following me around." He sounded exasperated.

"It's your scent," Leah whimpered. "I have to follow you. It's my imperative as a werewolf. We chase vampires; it's what we do. You stop smelling so good and I'll stop following you."

Edward sighed dramatically. "I speak the truth. I cannot love you."

"Thank you for being so truthful with me, I respect that. It makes me love you more."

Another frustrated noise from Edward.

"Please Edward," she continued. "Do anything you want with me. I don't care… I'll let you tie me up… I will… I'll be your dog Edward. I know you love doggie style."

"Your smell makes me nauseous," he stated. His lip lifted in disgust. "You smell like a wet dog."

"Yours makes me hurl," she confessed. "You smell like carrion candy."

"You are mad to be alone in the forest with me, of all creatures, Leah. Your mortal enemy. If I don't love you, what is to stop me from doing anything to you?" he asked her.

"Your face glows like a silvery moon. You light up my world. You sparkle Edward. I don't think I am alone in the woods. Your sparkle makes me think I am in a disco in Port Angeles. With you," she breathed at him.

"I'll run away from you," he suggested. "Run and hide and you'll never find me."

"I'm a tracker," she pointed out. "I can chase you down even if I do not mean you harm. Chase you like a deer chases a vampire."

"Leave me alone," Edward ordered. "If you follow me… I-I'll hurt you," he threatened.

"Oooh!" Leah crowed. "Really? Again? You've already hammered me in the tribal meeting house, on the bonnet of your Volvo, up against the wall of my mother's house. It's scandalous! At least that's what my mother said." She looked at him with dreamy eyes. "I'll follow you Edward. I'd follow you to Hell and be happy. You could murder me and I'd be happy. Tear me apart with your cute little dainty fangs."

Edward threw up his arms in disgust and ran at vampire speed off into the forest. Leah loped after him easily.

"Goodness," said Carlisle as he dropped out of the tree; landing delicately on his feet. "I wish him well with that relationship."

He caught sight of Alice skipping towards him. He looked at his watch. "She said forty minutes."

"Done!" she chimed in her tinkling voice.

"Excellent! I know Esme's favourite spot in the forest, where the wild roses grow and the other forest wildflowers. She sleeps there sometimes. Something about being good for her complexion or some such rubbish. I will apply the ointment to her eyelids as she sleeps." He stopped suddenly. "You have an extra amount?" he asked.

"I foresaw the need," she smugly replied. "You want me to apply it to the young man who just passed in the forest?"

"Yes. Good idea. That sounds most amusing." Carlisle ignored Alice's seeming non-recognition of her own brother. She was odd like that sometimes. He shrugged.

SCENE II. Another part of the wood.

Enter TITANIA, with her Train i.e. Esme with her 'children'

"Sing me a song!" she ordered. "A lullaby. I want to sleep in the bosom of the forest."

Jasper and Emmett gave each other a look. "Dude," whispered Emmett, "I don't sing."

"If we sing and she sleeps, then we can leave," Jasper pointed out. Jasper used finger apostrophes around sleep; vampires didn't sleep but lately Esme had been pretending that she did. Evidently Nahuel liked to sleep.

Emmett frowned; thinking was never really his strong point. "Oh, okay."

Jasper started singing a southern lullaby 'hush little baby'. Emmett joined in. Rosalie rolled her eyes and folded her arms belligerently across her chest.

"Oh, I know this one…" Tanya said before joining in.

Esme made herself a little nest in amongst the forest ferns.

"All that money on redecorating the damn house," whispered Emmett. "And she sleeps outside."

"Shush," hissed Tanya. "She's falling asleep."

"One stand guard," Esme mumble ordered.

"Fuck that!" hissed Emmett. "Tanya, you want a threesome?" Rosalie actually smirked at that. Tanya smiled at Emmett like he was adorable puppy and reached for Rosalie's hand. The trio ran off together.

Jasper rolled his eyes and strolled nonchalantly away.

Esme snuggled down into her 'nest'.

Carlisle crept in silently with the ointment in his hand. With the skilled hands of a surgeon he gently applied some to her closed eyelids.

He whispered a rhyme as he did it; like a spell.

"What thou seest when thou dost wake,

Do it for thy true-love take;

Love and languish for his sake;

Be it ounce, or cat, or bear,

Pard, or boar with bristled hair,

In thy eye that shall appear

When thou wak'st, it is thy dear;

Wake when some vile thing is near."

He made a small pleased sound. "Oh that is good," he said to himself. "Vile thing. I like it!" He snuck away.

Jacob and Bella entered the clearing.

"Honestly Bells, are you lost in the forest again!" he sighed heavily. "I reckon you've got me lost too." He did the double eyebrow lift at her. She ignored him. he tried again. "Why don't we lie down for a while, honey?"

"Okay," she agreed. "I think these ferns look comfortable." She pointed to another patch. "You lie over there."

"What? WHY?"

"I know you, Jacob Black. I won't get any sleep at all if you lie down with me."

"But Bells," he argued. "If our hearts are joined in love why can't our bodies be joined too?" he gave her his best puppy dog eyes. "Don't make me sleep by myself," he pleaded. "One heart, two bosoms… it'll work, Bells."

"No Jake. I am not having sex in the forest. You sleep over there."

He chuckled but obediently went to his appointed spot; after kissing her too well. He no doubt, planned to crawl back to her once she was asleep. He plonked himself down on the ground and closed his eyes. She fussed and moved sticks from underneath her; eyeing Jake's body off while she did so. He did look more comfortable to lie on than the ground. She sighed. She had made her wishes plain and he had obeyed. Eventually she curled herself into a ball and fell asleep. Rumbling snores came from Jake; he had been more tired than he knew and had actually fallen asleep.

Alice tip toed into the clearing. "Oh," she made a small happy noise. "Here they are. You rude boy, letting her sleep on the ground like that. I don't think you love her that much! I will apply the ointment as Carlisle my king requested. You will wake when I am gone."

Edward ran into the clearing clearly looking for somewhere to hide. Leah came running after him

"Wait, Edward, please you're killing me!"

"Will you stop following me!" he pleaded.

"Oh you creature of the night, stay with me," she begged.

"Day walker," he insisted. "Not an ugly vampire like those other batlike creatures. We're pretty and fashionable."

Leah rolled her eyes.

"I'm leaving. Stay! Good dog," he tried.

"Fine," she huffed. She threw herself down onto the forest floor. "I'll just track you later."

Edward looked relieved. "I will hide my trail,' he argued.

"You are a hopeless tracker," Leah stated. "When you were following Victoria you were in the wrong continent. She wasn't in South America. She was here; in North America."

"Oh that is it!" Edward said and stormed off.

Leah watched him go fondly. "I'll get him. A rest might not be such a bad idea. I hope Bella is happy wherever she is. How that girl can attract so much supernatural interest, I just don't understand it. I lost Sam to my own cousin, she takes Edward and now Jake is panting after her like the dog he is. I've looked in my mirror. I AM just as pretty as her. And legs, I've got great legs. And at least I have a decent set of tits." She stopped suddenly and sniffed. "Jake? He's here? Where is he?"

She snuffled around and found him sound asleep with his hands behind his head. It made his biceps bulge spectacularly. She noticed.

She leaned over him. "Not dead, just asleep." She kicked him.

"Fucks's sake," he swore. He opened his eyes and looked at her. He blinked. "Leah." Love saturated his voice.

"What the fuck, Black?"

"Leah… you're gorgeous. I would run through fire for you. And those tits! They are amazing. Why have I never noticed this before?" he looked like he was thinking. "Has Edward touched those tits, Leah? If he has, I'll kill him. And this time he'll really be dead," he growled.

"You can't kill Edward. Think of the treaty and he loves Bella. You have her, let me have him."

"I have her," he repeated. "I don't want her. I want you! You are my kind Leah. Imagine the awesome wolf sex we could have together. She's all human and breakable. But you and me? I reckon we could fuck for days. It would be amazing… come on Leah!"

"Are you taking the piss, Black? I will kick your ass if you are making fun of me. And what kind of guy are you? Arguing you love Bella; going against everyone for her and then spouting crap like that to me. Get over yourself Jake." She stormed off.

Jake watched her go with adoring eyes. He noticed Bella asleep in the ferns. "Whoa thank goodness she didn't see Bella. Stay asleep little girl. Don't come near me again. It makes me feel sick to my stomach that I even wanted to have sex with you. Now all I can think of is Leah. Leah Leah Leah…oh, maybe I imprinted on her. She's my wolf god appointed mate. My alpha female."

He started to follow Leah's trail. "Leah. I'll be the alpha wolf for you…" he called. "Be my alpha female. You want to see my little alpha? Well not so little. We'll lock together for hours in crazy wolf sex. Leah?"

Bella slumbered on in the fernery. Her body twitched. She was clearly having another nightmare. "Gah!" she cried out. "Jake! I had another bad dream. Lost in the forest again. with that creepy black wolf and you were a red wolf, and you growled at me." She sniffed dramatically. "Wait a second; where is he?" she looked around. "He left me?" She looked around some more. "I really am lost in the woods. Again! Fuck my life."

She stood; brushed debris from her clothing and wandered off in the wrong direction. "Jake?" she called as she went.

FF_2154210_ - 21/12/2011 05:10:00 PM