I am waken up by the chirping birds outside my window and made a mental note to get a cat when I move into dauntless. Not 'if' I move into dauntless- 'when' I move into dauntless. My eyes scans the plain little bedroom that I have lived in for the past 16 years, everything looks so familiar but not comfortable. On the chair beside my table, I see a tight yellow top and a pair of red jeans (so dark that it's almost black) laid out for me and feels a rush of guilt. My parents are hinting their acceptance of my departure. With a sigh, I got up and quickly got dressed, no point in delaying what's destined to come.
'Good morning honey' My mother greets me cheerfully but the redness around her eyes proves my theory.
'Morning mother' I replied, grabbing a piece of toast while trying to ignore the guilt that has been tugging me for the past few days, weeks, months, years even.
'I made pancakes, can't let my little girl have toast on such a special day.' She snatched the toast out of my hand and instead hands me a plate of fresh, warm, fluffy pancakes. My eyes feels wet but I immediately look up and holds my breath, a trick I have been using for years to prevent anyone from seeing me at such a weak status. My mother makes the best pancakes, and this small detail makes me realize how much more of my old life I need to say goodbye to.
'And the sleeping beauty awakes' My dad walks through the door and gives me a hug. Don't breath Alyssia, and just keep on looking up. I said to my self as the water in my eyes increases. I was too focused on my own happiness that I completely forgot how much my decision can potentially hurt my parents. The guilt hit me again but I fight against it, there's a reason I am not choosing abnegation.
I stuff down the pancakes but savoring every last flavor of it, hoping to remember every detail of my mother. My parents simply ate some toast with strawberry jam, a bit more toast than usual I might add. Maybe grief can cause hunger?
The choosing ceremony is buzzed with excitement, but it's easy to see the stress in ever 16 year old's eyes and the fear in every 16 year old's parents. My parents and I took a seat as Marcus-the leader of Abnegation-made his infamous speech that he uses every year. His words are like wind through my ears, acknowledged but not heard. I take a glimpse at my parents, and immediately wish I didn't. Although the a smile is on each of their faces, their enclosed hands are so tightly held onto each other that their knuckles appears white. I draw in a deep breath, at least they know what to expect from me.
'Alyssia Wildings' Jeanine Matthews pronounces my name carefully emphasizing every syllable.
My mother squeezes my hand and kisses my cheek, her kiss is surprisingly comforting. My father pulled me in for a last embrace.
'Be brave' He whispers. I am so shocked that I can only manage a small nod. He not only knew what I am choosing, he encourages it.
I strides across the stage and carefully picks up a knife. It feels dangerous in my hand, I can threaten anyone in here yet ironically, I am going to cut myself. I hold my hand across the coals and waits for the blood's sizzle to announce my decision.
'Dauntless!' Cheer fills the dauntless group but Jeanine looks at me -no- stares at me. Not like an accusing stare, more like I am a half-solved maths puzzle she is trying to finish solving. Her stare contained confusion, shock and even a bit of realization, eventually the side of her lips lifts up and she offers me the slightest nod. I smile back and joins the welcoming embraces from my new family.
The remaining ceremony is filled with questions from dauntless boys trying to interact with me. I disregard their questions and instead moved to a seat next to a Candor transfer. She smiles at me but don't bother introducing herself so nor did I. There is a reason I left Amity.
The dauntless group leave the ceremony first, and I gladly joins. I was never a patient person. We run across the city to the train tracks, the difference in the dauntless and transfer's stamina become obvious. The members are cheering and jumping in the front while the transfers puffs, struggling to keep up. I am among the few that actually find it easy to keep up, guess all these years of training finally pays off. The sound of the train horns reminds me of what's to come next, unlike the other factions, the dauntless jumps on and off the trains. To prove bravery? Although I have never jumped onto a train before, I am both mentally and physically prepared to attempt it. The gush of wind from the train signals my cue to jump, without giving a second thought my legs run along side the train and my arms grabs the side of the door at the first opportunity given. I sway in rather easily but the sudden weight on my left leg shocks me. I look down and see the candor girl that I sat next to during the choosing ceremony dragging on my leg. I had two options, shake her off and watch her become factionless while I easily get into the train, or I can push myself harder into the train and bring her in with me (Of course also facing the chance of it failing and we both become factionless). With a deep breath, I grip tighter to the door and use all my body strength, a bit more than I knew I had, to sway me -us- in. Just because i'm not kind enough for Amity, doesn't mean I'm cold-blooded. The girl sigh in relief and look up at me.
'Thank you.' She whispers.
'It's no big deal' I reply, not wanting to remind her how close we were to becoming factionless.
'My name is Christina'
'Alyssia'
'Well you just saved my ass from becoming factionless Alyssia, I owe you one' She held out her hand waiting for me to shake on it. I grab it and smiles. Jaq, Caroline and Rose are all members already, at least it will be nice to have a friend from our initiation class. We sit in silence, Christina surprisingly quiet for a Candor, I guess the thought of never returning to our old factions and the challenges dauntless has prepared for us are finally dawning onto us.
'They are JUMPING' A boy's shout break the silence, Christina and I exchange confused glances. How did I not see it coming, if they are willing to make us jump on a moving train, what stops them from making us jump off one.
'What happens if we don't jump', an Erudite boy questions.
'What do you think? You become factionless'. Reply a smug looking Candor, he look confident, not a hint of fear about jumping off a moving train 5 stories high. Looks like someone else is more prepared than you are. That thought worries me, as arrogant as it sounds, I not only want to survive being a dauntless, I want to succeed at being a dauntless. That thought also 'pushes' me, both mentally and physically.
'Together?' Christina ask once she realize my pouncing position. I hesitate, if the same thing happens again when we jumped on the train, we can very well end up dead. But I had already helped her on, what's the point if I am not going to at least bring her in into the dauntless compound.
'Sure'. I hold out my hand and start the countdown. '3...2...1...JUMP'
Our legs pounces off the train together and the world slows down. For a second I am sure that we weren't going to make it but that thought is dismissed when the sharp gravel stabs into our hands and knees. Adrenaline fills through me and before I can stop it, a huge goofy smile appears on my face. I have always loved the sensation danger brings. It used to worry my parents, how I would jump off the trees when there is a ladder next to me, or how I would drive the truck around the farm not bothering to look at the speed meter. That side used to always land me into trouble back in Amity, but here in dauntless it can help me succeed. Christina seems to enjoy it too because she return an equally large grin.
'Alright listen up, i'm Eric, one of your leaders here in dauntless. If you want to enter the compound, this is the way in, if you are too scared to jump then you don't truly belong in dauntless.' A tattooed man shouts. He has a bulky figure and light blond hair, even with all the piercings that coveres his face, it's easy to tell that he is only a few years older than us. 'Well someone's got to go first, who is it going to be?' I look around and see that everyone is preoccupied with pointless tasks to avoid eye contact with Eric. The confident candor boy from the train is busy picking gravel off his arms while Christina is fiddling with the corner of her sleeve. I never plan to go first, getting all the attention in dauntless is not my intention when I joined, however I do want someone to hurry up and go so I can jump and fill my body with adrenaline again. Maybe it's my lack of patience or the temptation of the adrenaline, but words begin to form before my conscious see it coming.
'I will'. My own voice surprise even myself. Eric stares at me and make a gesture with his hand signaling me that I am free to jump. I can feel every pair of eyes on my as I walk towards the edge.
'Dayum. I'd tap that.' I hear the candor boy say and a few smirks from the other boys. I immediately flushes. As brave as I believe I am, intimacy has always make me uncomfortable, of course I try to ignore as much as I can but the boys never know when to stop. I look toward Eric, expecting some demand that can hopefully shut the boys up, but he simply tap his foot impatiently waiting for me to jump. Maybe sexual harassment was a common thing in dauntless...
'The only thing that lets you tap is your left hand'. Christina responds. Everyone laugh with her, except for Eric and a few dauntless members that are still waiting for me to jump. I send Christina a grateful look and jump. The falling sensation swallow me up and my heart pounding on my chest. I love it. The squealing sound and the contact of the net with my body brought me back to reality. I stare up, not bothering to hide the goofy smile again caused by the adrenaline. I am in dauntless, and soon enough I will become dauntless.
I am having so much fun writing this story. Thank you to the people who has read the story so far, I really hope you guys enjoyed the story. Any feed back is welcome! :)
-Lilly