CHAPTER 2

DISCLAIMER: The characters are property of BBC but this is just a fun account of how things could play out.

This is Molly's account of her return to the UK following the tour of Afghanistan and the injuries to Smurf and Boss Man.

Three months later

The emptiness inside was still there. Some days eating her up and others when she was busy bearable. 2 section had returned to the UK a week after the shootings. Captain James had stabilised enough to be casevaced out of Theatre for further surgery and what was going to need a long healing process if he made it!

Molly had felt distraught as he was so far away. She was unable to speak to him, see him, touch him and had no idea how he was. The feeling of helplessness was unbearable. Not being able to sleep, eat and feeling empty. The last week in Afghanistan had only been bearable when working at the hospital. Volunteering to do any job required, tending wounds, making sure the troops were eating, doing checks –anything that was needed.

Major Morley had come to speak to her the day after Captain James was flown back home and said that without her excellent care her OC would not have stood a chance and her accurate shooting of Badrai had saved further injuries to her section. He was referring her for a recommendation. She had thanked him but did not know what he would have thought if he had known the the reason they had been distracted and not done the job as they had wanted. Why these two injured men had been locked into a discussion about bringing personal feeling into the battle field. Both of their personal feelings had been about her and she felt so guilty. Smurf was her mate and she had not encouraged him but the Captain was her man and she could not have done that any different.

Molly had felt crazy and if she had been able to neck a bottle of vodka then she would have with no hesitation but lucky Afghanistan was dry and she did not need to add drink to the mix but knowing that she would be returning home had been a different thought. What she wanted to do was go to his bedside in Birmingham but that would not be allowed. It would only be family allowed as it was a medical ward in an NHS hospital and it would be subject to all the protocols and who would she say she was?. His wife would already be allowed to visit but she could not really say she was the girlfriend, he had offered so much, he was her future but at the moment she had nothing and could do nothing.

Jackie had been able to see her angst and knew that something was desperately wrong with her friend. The evening before they returned to the UK she had not been able to keep quiet seeing Molly losing weight before her eyes and the puffiness of her eyes every morning, evidence of the silent night tears. "Molly Dawe,s are you going to share some of those problems as those clothes are starting to hang on you?" The concern in her voice was so evident and Molly turned to look at her with tears falling down and such a look of despair.

"I love him," was all Molly could say in explanation.

"Smurf!" Jackie said in exclamation. A little shocked as Molly deserved so much better than Smurf and they just seemed like mates. Jackie could just not see it.

Molly swallowed as if her throat was bone dry and she had not drank in such a long time. "No, Boss Man. I love him…. I love him so much." Tears were streaming down her face and she had such a look of desolation that Jackie held her quivering body in her arms and Molly spilled out all the details. The beginning when he had not even given her the time of the day, to the growing attraction, to the long looks, 'come back to me', to ' I am not going to let you out of my sight'. Molly tripped over her own tounge trying to get the words out. Her cockney twang even more in evidence and Jackie had to listen intently but stop her occasionally to slow down and explain what she was saying. Molls face was so animated, the tears were falling but the smile was there as she was able to talk about the man she loved. Jackie knew that she should point out that it could not work, he's married and her direct superior. Army regulations would throw the book at her and it could mean the end of her career if they found out but now did not seem the time.

What was Captain James doing? He did not seem the type to mess around, he was so sincere and one of the most respected men she had ever met. Molly explained that they had not done anything apart from one stolen kiss and Jackie could see that there was definitely more to this. It did sound like love as if it was just infatuation then he would have tried it on before now and not wanting to wait when they got home when things would be even more complicated with his wife and son back on the scene. But how could this work.

"I promise Molly that I will try and get any news. I am due to start a posting at Headley Court when I go back and I know that he will have to go there for rehab." She explained but also thinking that maybe he would not be going anywhere as his injuries were serious enough that he may not make it. This did not bear thinking about. The girls promised to meet up on leave and have a couple of day in London catching up as they had become very close especially since they shared Molly's secret.

Returning home was so shit! Molly loved being back with her mum and helping to look after the children when she was starting her work as a school learning assistant. Molly could see how happy her mum was and being able to be busy was another thing that meant the time was going so quickly but the nights were just so long. At least with makeup and baggy clothing she could hide the ravages of her heartache.

Molly and Jackie met up for a few days and walks along the Thames and time to talk. "Molly I have a little news on Captain James," Jackie was able to reveal. "His progress has not been great. They have been worried about him not coming out of the coma as quickly as they would expect. The last I heard was he was starting to wake up but it is still very early day."

"He needs me." Molly groaned. "I am going crazy not seeing him and if I was there he would be much better." Molly was starting to plot how she could go to Birmingham and say that she was his friend and maybe be able to talk the nurses around to let her visit.

"His wife has been constantly by his bedside. I am sorry Molly but it sound like that they are going to try again."

Molly's knees gave way at this point and it was lucky they were in Regents Park having a picnic lunch. This meant there was a soft landing on the grass. Molly was crying silent tears but there was desolation in her answer. "How do I go on?" She then started to rant. "She can't have him. She'ad her chance and screwed it up. No he's mine. He loves meeee." She finally broke and Jackie again just held not caring about the stares they were getting in the park.

That day was an awakening day for Molly as she knew that she could not do anything. Mrs James had her chance with her husband and with their son they were a family. She did not stand a chance. Two section lads arranged a meet up before they returned to duty in Aldershot and Smurf was there with them. He had been discharged from hospital a week before and apart from a bandage covering his arm and the need for some physiotherapy, he should be able to return to duties with the rest of the guys.

Smurf was very quiet with Molly and seemed a little sheepish. Later in the evening they managed to be sitting next to each other in the pub, while the guys got up to play some pool they finally managed to talk.

"Molls I am sorry. I did not mean to see you so upset."

"Don't worry tosser. It seems like it was never meant to be."

"What do you mean?"

"He's back with his wife. Time for me to mend my bloody heart. Not sure how!" She added.

Smurf reached into his pocket and brought out some tickets. "I think I might have the answer. Vegas in two days time. Are you up for it?" He continued hopefully and Molly thought she had promised and needed to move on. Vegas sounded like fun and Smurf seemed on good form and when he was like this he was contagious to be with.

Vegas was a disaster. Smurf bought Molly the red dress and they had fun seeing the sights. Their last night was a meal at Caesars Palace and Smurf presented Molly with the dress and she was able to look knock out when they went out for dinner. The evening fell apart when they got back to their hotel and Smurf went in for a good night kiss. Molly did not stop him directly and for a moment thought maybe? But then a niggle and Captain James's voice screaming 'No, No' in her ear made her push him away. He was not taking no and had managed to unhook the back of the dress so it fell down revealing her naked breasts. She slapped his hand away when he went to touch her and when he stepped closer she pushed him away.

"You teasing bitch," He snarled at her. Molly stepped back in shock never seeing that venom before from Smurf. "You know my feeling for you and you led me on. I am glad you lost him." Molly slapped him hard across the face and for the first time ever thought she was scared.

"Get out!" She screamed. "I never want to see you again." Smurf left with a slam of the door and for the second time in a week Molly sank to her knees and sobbed, racking sobs until there was nothing left. When the tears were gone she did not know where to go.

The army again became her salvation. On her return from leave she was able to prove herself on a course and start her new posting attached to the Infantry Training Unit in Catterick. She loved her new role and her new CO was very impressed. Even trying to talk to her about joining the Queen Alexandra Royal Army nursing and working her way to train to be a military nurse. The belief in her being able to have a career was giving her hope for a future, a future where Smurf was lost to her and Captain James. The future could maybe bright again.

I hope people enjoy this as I still need to add Smurf's and Captain James' accounts and how it all ends. The characters may have taken twists but this is just my imagination.