Mario Learns disgusting things he wishes he didn't know

Mario was at his computer and the 'excellent idea' struck his head. He'll google disgusting things. He sat at his computer and typed and stared at the search bar "am I really doing this? "he thought to himself as he started to type.

He found a website and started to read it. "10 things you wish you didn't know" read the title. He scrolled down and read it.

10) Vanilla flavour is made with Beaver butt!

"Vanilla flavouring is made from an ingredient called Castoreum. It's a slimy brown substance that beavers use to mark territory. It's hidden under the unassuming name 'natural flavouring'."

Mario looked disgusted. He might as well throw up.

"Mario! It's me, peach! I brought you a cake!" peach said in delight as she came in.

"What-a-flavour is it?"

"Vanilla!"

Mario accepted it with false happiness. As soon as Peach was gone he threw it out of the window. There would be no vanilla for him for years to come.

"SCREAM! THERE'S A CAKE ON MY FACE" screamed a toad guard who was outside.

"oops…" said Mario. His attention focusing to the computer. Scrolling on and reading.

9) 50% of people have mites on their eyelashes. THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO REMOVE!

"50% of the population of planet Earth (that's 3.8 billion people for all you uneducated people) have millions of microscopic mites that live in hair follicles all over the body. Their name is Demodex mites, they have a 2-week lifespan of them mating on our skin before the female buries deep into the hair follicle to lay her eggs. They have no bum so, they explode and release poop all over our body"

"I better go and-a-get a shower after this" he said after he threw up all over the floor. He scrolled down the webpage.

8) The most Poisonous spider EVER!

"There is a spider native to central and south America, The Brazilian wandering spider is the most poisonous unfortunately for all you Americans, Europeans and Asians, it is found occasionally in groceries around the world. It's venomous bite can kill in 2 hours or you will have a painful, long and stiff peepee chute. In 2014, a UK man was driven out of his home when he found the spider in ASDA bananas."

Mario felt creeped out by this so, he turned behind him and there was a SPIDER on the wall.

"SCRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMM!" Mario screamed as he swatted the spider. Once that was taken care of, he scrolled down the page.

7) Poop is EVERYWHERE!

"A microbiologist discovered that some men's beards contain so much fecal matter that they're as dirty as toilets. A study by MythBusters also found that the spray from a flushing toilet can contaminate toothbrushes with fecal matter and fecal matter was also found on toothbrushes in another room."

"just…gross" said Mario, looking away from the screen and scrolling down

6) Obesity Virus!

"The common virus AD-36 can cause obesity by encouraging the body to grow more fat cells. It's caught like the common cold and after 10 years of being exposed to the virus, people had a higher BMI and body fat percentage than those who didn't."

"Mario!" said Peach "I brought some cake! It's a new recipe I think you should try!"

Mario ate some then dumbed the rest in a drawer, it was pretty good. As it wasn't vanilla but, he thought about his weight for a minute before scrolling down.

5) Belly Button Bacteria!

A recent study found that 1458 new species of bacteria living in participants' belly buttons. Everyone has an average of 67 bacteria species in their belly button. One man had bacteria in his belly button that was only previously found in Japanese soil and he never went to Japan!"

"I don't want to-a-think about that" said Mario while puking on the floor.

4) Jelly Beans and Sweets and Apples!

"Shellac is a chemical made from the poop of the Kerria Lacca insect, it's used as a food additive. It's sprayed on everything including jelly beans, sweets and pills. The bugs themselves can get crushed in the making process and end up in the shellac themselves."

"MORE POO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Mario. He was happy that no-one could hear him or he would get some funny looks. He decided to scroll on.

3) Tree Man!

"HPV is a common infection that causes small warts to develop on the body. It can be got through unprotected sex or infected blood. One Indonesian man caught the virus after cutting his knee. Due to his weak immune system, the warts turned into massive tree-like stumps.

"I don't-a-want to-a-look like that" said Mario while scrolling down again.

2) Toxoplasma Gondii!

"33% of the world's population is infected by this personality infected by this personality-changing parasite called Toxoplasma Gondii. This virus can be caught from cats or undercooked meat. It makes men more aggressive and women more intelligent."

"Maybe that is-a-why I am so aggressive towards-a-Bowser." He thought while continuing to read.

"However, the parasite in linked to OCD, Schizophrenia and even suicidal behaviour"

"Oh! Definitely not then…"

1) The Lottery ticket of life

"You have a 1/176000000 chance of winning the lottery. And you have a 1/10000000 chance of becoming a US president. But, you also have a higher chance of being killed on your way to buy the ticket than the chance you have to win the jackpot. The Euromillions is a bit easier with a 1/116531800."

"I maybe shouldn't have-a-read that" said Mario passing out.