Chapter II

An unfortunate meeting preordained by fate (it always is)

Gwyn woke to find herself sitting in an oak tree. For a moment she sat there in a state of confusion, but then she remembered the events of the day before and attempted to climb down.

Gwyn moaned as she fell from the tree and landed with a resounding smack on the forest floor, her limbs having gone to sleep for sitting still so long.

"One day, I will bring a hacksaw to every oak tree I see." Gwyn muttered, spitting out dirt. She looked up to see a shoe, two shoes in fact. She had a sudden urge to chew one as she still hadn't eaten for several hours and was becoming rather desperate, however she refrained, examining it instead. It was a rather nice shoe, she had just decided, when a cough startled her from her thoughts.

"So….Come here often?" came an amused and noticeably male voice.

Gwyn leapt to her feet, dusting herself off haughtily. "No. do you?"

The man's face fell. "No…never mind. So what's the interest with my shoes?" He was in fact little older than Gwyn herself, his hair was black and messy, and his skinned tanned, he led a brown horse and was grinning in amusement.

"Shoes tell you a great deal you know. For instance, I would call you a thief for wearing such good clothing and leading such a fine steed, but from you cultured speech, I know you are a prince in disguise."

The youth gasped in horror. "Is it so obvious?"

"The small engraving on the side of your boot reading 'property of Prince Arthur gives it away somewhat." Gwyn answered dryly.

Prince Arthur blushed. "Oh, yes. I'm running away for an adventure to prove myself. Everyone treats me like a child, so I'm going to come back a hero and everyone will have to respect me! Only I'm not supposed to go away at all, so I disguised myself. My father's guards will already be looking for me I suppose. Anyway, aren't you supposed show a bit of respect to your kingdom's prince?"
Gwyn rolled her eyes. "Dear god, you can't get anymore clichéd could you? And yes, this is the part where I am supposed to fall to the ground and beg your forgiveness."

"But…?"

"But this is no ordinary faeiry tale."

Arthur's eyebrows rose. "Do I want to know what you are talking about?"

Gwyn flashed him a grin. "Probably not."

Arthur looked around frowning. "So tell me maiden, where do you go on this fine day?"

Gwyn's eyebrows rose to her hairline. "Look Prince A, I'm busy, so go find some other poor maiden to stalk."

Arthur tracked the girl's rising eyebrows with interest, and then snapped his attention back to the matter at hand. "It's Arthur not A. And I'm not stalking you, just taking an interest in your wellbeing, as all good gentry should." He stated loftily.

"Well you can take your goddamn gentry and shove it up your-' however exactly where Arthur could shove his gentry was thankfully not revealed as just then the princes horse decided that Gwyn's hair looked too edible to pass up the chance for a nibble. Gwyn let out a yelp as the horse bent its neck and began to chew her hair. "Call it off!" she yelled.

"He's not a dog you know." Snapped back Arthur, pulling his resisting horses reigns.

"Well soon he's going to be turned into a hot dog" shouted Gwyn.

Arthur's mouth dropped open, "How dare you say that about poor Barnaby?"

Gwyn let out an unintelligible yell as the stubborn horse yanked her hair upwards, trying to dislodge it from its roots.

Gwyn slapped the horse as hard as possible, her hand somehow getting caught in the reigns.

Barnaby let out an indignant whinny and bolted.

"Flapper jack!" Arthur swore as Gwyn was jerked along behind the horse, her hand still securely trapped by the reigns. Arthur chased after them madly, but was quickly left behind.

The ride lasted only a moment, but it was the most terrifying time of Gwyn's life. It ended an instant later when Gwyn's head collided with a low-lying oak branch.

"Damn oak trees." Gwyn managed before passing out.

Gwyn woke a while later to the sensation of being jolted around as she traveled at a fast pace. Gwyn's head shot up and she looked around. 'What the hell…'

A voice in her ear caused her to yelp. "Do not be frightened, you were knocked out when my horse bolted, I took the liberty of carrying you with me on my horse, I could not just leave you there."

"You again." Gwyn attempted to turn her head to glare at the prince.

She suddenly became aware of Arthur's arms wrapped around her waist, keeping her from falling off. "Err; you can let me off now."

Arthur called his horse to a halt and let her slide down. She looked around uncomprehendingly. "Where are we?"

"Ah. Yes, well about that…"

Gwyn rubbed her forehead tiredly, wincing as she came in contact with a large knot on her forehead from her unfortunate collision with the oak branch. "You don't even know, do you?"
"I know where I am headed, I am just unsure of our exact location." Muttered Arthur guiltily.
"Listen your highness, I'm very glad that you rescued me and all that, but really, you can just go on your way now, and I shall go on mine."

"I don't even know your name." the prince muttered looking downcast.

"It's Guinevere ." Gwyn muttered uncomfortably.

The interest in Arthur's eyes sharpened. "That's an usual name, did your father give it to you?"

"I do not know I was found and taken in by strangers who raised me for most of my life…" Gwyn murmured, confused by the line of questioning.

Arthur's shoulders sagged, but he nodded. "I see. I have a favour to ask of you."

"Find someone else, sire."

Arthur's frown deepened. "My name is Arthur, I am trying to run away from those titles and such like."

"Alright then, Arthur. What do you want with me?"

"I am on a quest to find the heir to the neighboring kingdom, I overheard my father talking about it a few days ago and it reinforced what the old legends say. I will travel until I find some clue to their whereabouts, but I have lived a sheltered life I am beginning to realize, and need some help blending in, will you help me get by?"

"Umm…look, Arthur why would you want to find this heir?"

"Because their whole family disappeared one night, deposed by the king's adviser. My father had a great friendship with the king before he disappeared, and our two kingdoms were at peace. But relations between our kingdoms have been getting worse since his disappearance, the impostor who sits on the throne needs to be removed so our kingdoms can be at peace once more, but for this to happen, the king or his family needs to be found!"

"Of course, I should have known!" Gwyn threw her hands up in frustration. "The evil adviser would be bad, and I would get caught up in this. All you need now is the Grand Vizier to wander in wearing black and cackling. Look Arthur, I don't have time for misguided faery tales. Come back in say…three hundred years."

Arthur sighed. "Look, you're stuck out in the middle of this wood, so why don't I help you get out and in turn, you help me. What were you doing out here anyway?"

"Running away. I thought I'd try to find my father." Muttered Gwyn, blathering out the first thing that popped into her head.

Arthur nodded. "I will help you look for your father on the way, if you help me look for the royal family. Please?"

Gwyn took one look at the prince's pathetically hopeful face and groaned, unable to withstand it. "Fine."

Arthur grinned and offered her his hand to pull her back onto the horse.

Gwyn grasped his hand and let herself be pulled up in front of him.

Gwyn nodded. "Let's just get on with this harebrained adventure shall we?"

Arthur kicked his horse into action. "Onwards Barnaby!" He shouted in an attempt of grandeur which failed miserably.

They reached an inn at nightfall; Arthur gave the horse to a stable boy and wandered into the inn, trailed by Gwyn.

Gwyn gave a strangled squawk as she tripped over the threshold, causing the dozing bar man to jerk away with a cry. "Marge! Chickens are escaping again!" his elbow jilted a lantern over the bar counter and the oil spilled onto a candle, a flare of light followed and suddenly the entire tavern was alight with flame. Gwyn's eyes tracked the flame towards a keg of barrel's it was steadily approaching, her eyes narrowed as they zoned onto the black substance spilling out.

"Gunpowder." Arthur gasped.

"Well screw me sideways." Gwyn blurted out, but that was the most she managed to get out before Arthur dived out of the tavern pulling Gwyn with him.

They landed lying in a muddy puddle, Gwyn lying wide eyed on top of Arthur. "I'm not that kind of girl!" she squeaked, but was drowned out by the massive explosion of the flame reaching the gunpowder.

Gwyn suddenly found herself completely deaf, the explosion having temporarily blown her eardrums, and also partially blind from the light spots dancing in front of her eyes. "Not quite the entrance we wanted to make…" she gasped before fainting.

Arthur buried his head in the puddle. "This is so not going the way I wanted it to…" he blubbered, spitting out mud as he did so. A stray chicken wandered past and promptly fainted, whether this was because of Arthur's less then clean face, or because it had just wandered out of a burning building will never be known.

The chicken woke up only to be confronted by Arthur grinning down at it hopefully. "Dinner!" He exclaimed happily.

The chicken expired.

And its just going to get steadily weirder from here... I did warn you this was my humor outlet!

Also, I live for reviews! No flames on the inaccuracies please, as I said before, this is a silly story not to be taken seriously, I am well aware of its shortcomings, such as no gunpowder existed in the dark ages. Yes I'm aware.