Olivia woke in the midst of the night. Her heart beat furiously in her chest, and she could barely breathe. She felt tangled, in a web, by someone else's creation. She looked up from herself to see her partner's sleeping face, and being with him made her feel an irrationally surge of hope, he subdued her fears. And she lay her head back down on his chest. His ribs swelling with every breath, and she could hear the pounding of his heart in her ear where she had laid her head down. For every breath he took, she inhaled, matching his breathing as if that could soothe her, and it did, for a time.
When Olivia woke again, she was cold, shivering, and she blindly pawed at the empty space her partner had left in his wake. She closed her eyes, feeling alone yet again, she snuggled deeper into the couch, as if she could somehow escape her own head. "Coffee?" She heard come from above her head. She peered one eye open to see Elliot holding a coffee mug in one hand. His other clasped the morning newspaper. She smiled at this, and took the dark bitter liquid gratefully. She sat up to drink it but stopped, clasping the blankets to her chest, she remembered her unfortunate state of undress. She blushed and Elliot looked away, his blue eyes soft, in the morning light.
Elliot watched as Olivia made her great escape to her bedroom. He watched her as she shut the door quickly behind her. And something in his chest jumped. It was a sort of emptiness that took over him when he was with her. An emptiness that took over him when he wasn't.
Elliot had already called the super of her building and ordered the videotapes of the last few days to be sent to the precinct under his name. He hoped that Olivia wouldn't find out, but he couldn't let anyone hurt her. He already felt new waves of guilt from what had happened to her the last night. He should've told her, he should've known. But how could he?
Olivia walked out of her room, the old NYPD grey and blue t-shirt covering most of the bruises. Elliot could still see the one creeping up her neck, and the two on her wrists. And that made his stomach turn, bile rising out of his throat. He turned his back to make sure she couldn't see the anger so clearly written in his face, but she saw his shoulders tense and she knew he was angered, she just couldn't tell at whom. She sipped at her coffee in silence waiting for him to do something, say anything. But he didn't, and Olivia felt the hot sting of the tears rising back in her eyes. She dug the palms of her hands into her eyes rubbing gently, and then brought them down her face for good measure, they pulled her lips down to resemble a fish.
Elliot couldn't look at her as he excused himself from her apartment, how could he, what could he say that got rid of the tension in the air, that could make her feel better. Words wouldn't fix this, he knew that much. He wanted to just leave, just leave and not explain to her that he was going to find that man, he was going to find him with her help or not, and then, then he would hurt him. For every bruise he had given her, Elliot would give him ten in return. He opened the door to leave, but something nagged at his insides, told him he couldn't leave, not like this.
"Olivia?" He said softly, hoping his voice wouldn't startle the already on edge detective.
She looked up at him not trusting herself to open her mouth, not trusting herself with much of anything. Elliot took a few steps to where she sat and she rose to meet him. He grabbed her around the waist, without much thought. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his nose in her hair, closing his eyes, wishing her sadness away, as if he could do that with pure will alone. With her body in his arms, he held her in a sort of raw hug. She closed her eyes, letting the moment fill her heart before pulling away. If she stayed in his arms any longer, she would want to stay, to never leave, those arms were home to her, and she couldn't do that. To him or to herself, she needed to hold herself together, at least for as long as it took for the door to shut behind him.
"Go." She whispered, voice catching in her throat. And Elliot nodded, once, twice, before he grabbed his coat and walked out of the room.
Olivia counted slowly to ten before she let herself fall apart, she stumbled to her bedroom and shut the door. She didn't even think of calling Cragen and explaining her absence, before she drifted back down to sleep.