Here it is, the second half of the prologue. Initally, this was supposed to be the end of it, but I just couldn't leave it like this. It's not really writing unless it hurts. This hurt, but it didn't fulfil me.
I woke up the next morning, nestled in his arms. It made me a little bit hot in the face to wake up like this, but when I looked down and saw our bodies, forming together to create a whole, I brushed the embarrassment aside. I leaned back into him, allowing his scent to fill my nostrils. I was surprised though, when he chuckled a little at my behavior. I didn't know he was awake.
"Hey there." He smiled at me, and his eyelids were still droopy from his slumber. I was wrong about thinking he wore makeup. His eyelashes were still full as ever. I wonder if anyone ever told him; I wonder if he noticed himself. Probably. They were rather dominant on his face. He was incredibly gorgeous: A model. A sample of what humankind was before Pandora opened the box. And all the while, he was just laying there, staring at me, as I was staring at him, as if meager little me could ever become anything bigger. Did he think of me as I thought of him? It was too hard to tell. Seifer was an open book, he was easy to read, but maybe he was a college physics textbook where I was still a child. I didn't understand him, but I longed to.
Seifer rolled over and looked at the glowing red digits on the alarm clock beside the bed. He chuckled and sat up, "As much as I'd like to lay in bed with you all day, our room won't be ours in five minutes."
With that, he got off the bed and grabbed his pants off the chair. I joined him in getting dressed, trusting him without question. When I turned around, however, I saw him still without his shirt, hunched over the table. I would have been worried, except he didn't seem distressed. I figured he was reading a map or something. I somehow knew he was okay. He was in good spirits- Everything was fine.
"Alright." He announced, turning around and pulling his shirt on. "All ready." And we left. He tossed the key at the doorman, who had so rudely handled us last night. We laughed about it as we walked away from that damned motel.
"Do you feel like breakfast?" He asked me, pointing with his thumb back to the diner we ate at last night.
I shook my head no. "But if you feel like it, we could stop."
"No, that's alright." He smiled and we walked together, even though we didn't know where we were going yet. That was fine, with both of us. "So how old are you, anyway?" He asked me, rather randomly. I supposed he was trying to make conversation. He was kind of good at it. He got me to talk, after all.
"17." I answered, "I'll be 18 next month."
"Ah. So we'll be the same age for a while." He grinned a little, like he was amused by the whole thing. There were a lot of things I wanted to know about Seifer too, but everything I wanted to know was so irrelevant and unnecessary. I just... I wanted Seifer to surround my thoughts; my hopes; my dreams- everything. I wanted to know his breathing pattern, his thoughts before going to bed, what made his heart pound, what made his heart stop, how far about the blinks of his eyes were, how close he could get to the sun without getting burnt. I knew it sounded crazy. Absolutely, one-hundred percent off the wall insane, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I wanted him more than anything else in the world. He took me over. He consumed me, and it was utter bliss.
Nothing mattered anymore. We kept walking, pursuing on like we knew where we were going the entire time, our hands, at some point, had slipped together. This was a subconscious effort on both of our parts. I knew this, because we both looked down to see them. Like magnets. We just smiled at each other and kept walking. His hands, which were quite warm in the palm, but spread out to cold fingertips, were big enough that mine would fit with room for another hand. Though we both knew that no one else was welcome. It was a mutual decision reached after little to no debating. It was just common sense to us.
After walking a while, perhaps a mile, or a mile and a half, we came across another diner. Although this one looked a smidge more amicable. The menu selection was also wider. Breakfast it was, then. We stepped inside, him before me, and sat down at a booth. The typical colors made me smile a bit. Black and white tiles, and red furniture.
It was a comfortable atmosphere, and the music was at the right volume to be relaxing. Seifer was leaning on his elbows over the table. Staring at me, with a half-assed smirk on his face. One of his eyebrows was slightly raised ironically. "What?" I asked, almost leaning in on my elbows to join him. I restrained myself, thinking it might make the waitresses nervous.
"You're smiling. I like it." I didn't have any reason not to smile. Life was fine. Perfect. He was perfect. I chuckled a little, not giving him an answer, but allowing him to come up with his own. I'm sure he liked it that way.
The waitress came over and gave us our menus, bowing her head politely, she went to attend to other duties. Seifer glanced down the middle page and decided what he wanted.
"What do you want to do with the rest of your life?" He asked me. He was using some kind of tone: empty, hollow and distant, that I didn't associate with him. I looked up, to see a detached look across his features. He was looking to a man sitting on a bar stool, reading a newspaper. On the front cover of that newspaper was the headline, "GalBadDia Issues Draft", which I immediately understood to be due to the Estharian war. There was a picture underneath, but I didn't bother looking at it. The headline was more than enough. It all made sense then. Why Seifer would want to go to a rundown place like Winhill. He was eighteen, after all.
It struck my interest even more after I thought about it. Seifer was a big guy, with a toned body and a sound mind. He wasn't afraid...was he? To avoid the subject, for now, I simply answered his question. Disregarding everything else. "I always wanted to be a writer." I answered, shifting my feet under me.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah." I said, trying to think of something else to say. I never had this problem before. Usually, I would end up being spiteful and saying far too much. "I'm going to Balamb University."
"That's good. I'm proud of you." I looked up at him, not expecting him to say such a thing. He had a normal look on his face again, so it looked as if I distracted him from his problem.
The waitress came over to our table, she was an older woman, probably in her sixties. Old people usually made me nervous, but she had a calming effect immediately. Seifer also seemed more at ease: his shoulders had drooped, and he laid his arms on the table.
"Hello dearies," She leaned in, smiling at us all the while. "May I take your drink order?"
I figured I would just have coffee. I glanced at the back of the menu to glimpse at the beverages one last time. They had a wide variety of fruit juices, but suddenly typical, ordinary orange juice seemed perfect. Seifer didn't seem ready to order just yet, so I decided to take my turn first. "I'll have a cup of coffee and a glass of orange juice, please." I finished with a smile so she wouldn't think me rude for ordering more than one drink.
Seifer smirked. "Well, same for me, except I think I'll have apple juice instead."
Instead of being surprised, she just smiled. "Coming right up." She disappeared into the back.
"Seifer," I paused, waiting for him to acknowledge me. Much to my pleasure, he did so quickly, without hesitating. "Why didn't you go to college? You seem intelligent enough." I wanted to add things to that sentence. I wanted to tell him my dreams for the future, but the words wouldn't form. The feelings were there, and I believed he could feel them through me, but the words wouldn't come past my lips. They hung off them and died within seconds.
"I was expelled from my high school and I never bothered looking for another one." He answered bluntly. I wasn't expecting that, but something about it made sense.
"Why?"
"I can't follow simple rules and procedures." He recited. He shrugged and looked back down at his menu, ending the conversation as quickly as it began. Usually, I would be disgusted by something like this. High school was nothing. I never picked up a book and ended up a scholarship student. Anyone else could have read some words and done the same. I wasn't anything special or unique. If I could do it, anybody could. Despite this, Seifer's lack of a graduation certificate didn't bother me in the least. I wasn't exactly proud of him, but I understood his circumstance. Seifer didn't seem disappointed, so I wouldn't be either.
"What about you, Seifer?", I pulled a napkin out from the dispenser sitting on the table and looked back at him. "What do you want to do with your life?"
He shrugged his masculine shoulders, making the zipper on his coat jingle audibly. "I never thought about it." He looked at the ceiling, probably trying to avoid eye contact.
He was still an open book, and I was learning the lingo quickly. Could he read me just as easily? It was a strange feeling, to feel like you knew someone whom you never met before while still trying to learn more about them.
He cleared his throat, with a deep cough. "I always thought I'd be some kind of-" He stopped, shaking his head. "I don't know. I pretty much just thought I'd use my body. I don't have much else.
I raised an eyebrow. "I don't know about that." Seifer did have a wonderful body though. He'd make a great construction worker or whatever. He could do anything he wanted to. I knew this, because I could do anything when I was with him.
The waitress delivered our juice and coffee. We smiled at her and looked back at each other. Through eye contact, Seifer told me to order first. I did so. "I'll have the country fried steak and eggs, with a side of fruit. Oh, and instead of the toast, may I have a bagel with cream cheese?"
"Certainly." She pulled out her notepad and wrote the short version of my order down. She halted her pen and turned to Seifer. "Bacon and eggs." He answered simply, but then decided to continue, "but I'm interested in this 'eggs Florentine Benedict' thing you have on here. I'll try it."
She looked a little surprised. "My, you boys certainly have appetites this morning! Ah, well, you're growing boys, after all." She collected our menus and headed into the back to deliver our orders to the chef.
"Where are you from?" This time, it was me trying to start a conversation. Seifer didn't seem surprised by the sudden interest. Rather, he seemed to notice he rubbed off on me, even in the short time we've been together. He smirked before answering me.
"Well, I was born in Dollet. Spent most of my life in Timber, though." He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling his hair back with it. He was attractive with his hair in any fashion he chose. "Until it got taken over, I mean."
"Then why are you here?"
"It was the best place to escape to, but I figured I'd be safer in Winhill because of its immunity. I have an uncle there anyway. Never had anybody in Dollet. Timber, I had my girl, but that's long past over."
"Your girl?"
"Yeah, General Caraway's daughter, if you'd believe it." He sipped his juice but looked eager to continue talking. "We had a summer fling together, that is, before I knew who her father was. I mean, I couldn't say it was romantic, we didn't do anything together, but..." He shook his head. "She started to want me to go to black tie events with her, and... That's just not me."
He put his elbow on the table, ignoring any etiquette he'd ever learned, if any, and leaned his chin on top. "She did other stuff that really pissed me off too, while we were together." I was listening, but I really didn't want to hear it. "She bought a dog a little while after we got together. Named it Angelo, like it was precious or something." Seifer's nostrils flared with disgust. "I hate dogs. Don't ask me why-I just do."
I sipped my coffee and said nothing. I noticed I was drinking it black for the first time. I kinda liked it. It was a good change. Then I realized it was bitter- Just like me.
"Oh, sorry. Hyne, what about you, Squall?"
"Balamb, born and raised." I lied quickly. It felt natural enough. He believed me, either way.
"Hm." Was all he said as he stirred some sugar into his bitter drink.
"No romances to mention?"
"No." That was the truth. I placed my coffee mug back down and rested my arms on the table instead of on my lap. I figured I might as well change the subject to something more fitting, but I didn't need to. The silence between us was also comfortable.
"After Rinoa, I figured I liked guys better anyway." He winked at me from across the table. It unnerved me, but it set me at ease.
He was so weird...
"So, why Balamb University?" He was pouring creamer into his coffee. "Wanted to stay close to home?"
"Well, since I'm a citizen of Balamb, I figured it'd be cheaper than roaming off. It's not like I have anything here." I left my drinks alone, for now, knowing I would rather have them later after I'd eaten.
"I see." He stopped fussing with his drinks for the moment. "Why writing? You wanna be a novelist?"
"Journalism runs in my blood, but I never wanted to do anything like that. I'd rather write... other things, I guess."
"You'll have to let me read your work sometime." He smiled.
"Maybe." I said, shrugging. I didn't think the kinds of things I was used to writing would strike Seifer's fancy. I got caught up thinking about sharing my artistic talent with Seifer, so much so, that time escaped me and our food had arrived before I was ready to eat. Seifer dug right in, dabbing with his napkin at the greasier parts of his bacon and eggs. He let his egg-Benedict be. He scooped up a forkful of his bacon and began to eat.
I cut up my food into smaller pieces and ate slowly, chewing every bite thoroughly and swallowing anxiously. Seifer tended to eat, well, like an abnormal person. Not that I ever had an affinity for anything "normal", but Seifer stuck out like a sore thumb in ways I couldn't even begin to explain. As we sat there, eating, we watched each other, smiling all the while.
Time continued on, floating like water through our fingers. It was the best time I ever had eating with someone. We finished our meal and when the bill had arrived, we each laid our fingers on top of it. He gave it up without me having to put up a fight. I took the bill and pulled out my credit card. I walked over to the cash register to pay, and then we left together. He traveled the same way we had been before.
"Good food." He mumbled. He grinned, obviously enjoying the flavors still radiating off his tongue. I agreed without making any kind of verbal affirmative. He didn't need to hear my words, because he already knew how I felt about it. That's how I felt, at least.
I didn't exactly know where we were. Driving, I would have gotten out of this place and into more familiar territory in no time, but walking left me at a disadvantage. I knew we were just heading north, but it seemed like we were off in the middle of nowhere, doing absolutely nothing. Most people would be discouraged, or disappointed in the fact that life was passing by with wanton destruction, leaving nothing in its wake. I was fine with it. Perhaps because this mysterious open book, that was thrown on my lap was leading me around.
He had something grand about him, and it seemed like nobody could see it except me. I wanted him to stay close. I wanted to walk around in this Garden of Eden forever. It didn't matter if I didn't get to go back to school, or work, or do anything. I didn't need money or a place to live. I didn't need anything as long as Seifer was there. How insane was I exactly? I couldn't tell. I had to be pretty far gone by now.
Together, we walked, letting the mileage on our feet add up. As we headed in that far-off northern direction, we shared everything and nothing. We just talked, about memories, hopes, and dreams...
Everything.
We heard a train whistle a short distance away and made our way up to the steel lined tracks. We stood on them, walking on the railroad tracks without a care in the world. We didn't have anywhere to be or anything to do. We weren't quite ready to head into town yet, but it was within our sights.
Seifer looked around us, spotting the shore nearby, he took my wrist and pulled me along with him. The shoreline was by no means large, it couldn't be called a beach or anything. We headed over there anyway, only because Seifer wanted to go. His resolve was captivating, and the thought of going against his wishes made me weak in the knees. He tore his jacket away from his body, tossing it carelessly into the wind. The weight of it pulled it back to the earth in a crumbled heap.
We stepped onto the sand with the crunching of the tiny rocks beneath us. There were seagulls swarming the area in search of food. Upon our arrival, many scattered in different directions, the braver among them continuing the hunt. Seifer sat down quickly, and I could hear all his weight collapsing on the ground. I was unaware how strikingly heavy he was. Perhaps if I paid more attention, I would have realized the difference in our size to be rather immense. He, however, paid no mind to anything of the sort, and his indifference was quite contagious.
His strong, muscle-hardened arm wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me closer. I allowed myself to be scooped up without question. I didn't need a reason to be close to him, rather, it was more natural than keeping any distance in-between his body and mine. His breathing was slow and even, calming me even more than the sound of the waves crashing along the shoreline.
"I always wanted to be like this sand." Seifer said quietly, mumbling to me so the seagulls nearby wouldn't be able to hear. We had made a habit of whispering to each other. We couldn't exactly explain our reasoning, but it was something like… we wanted everything we said to be a secret from the world. We wanted our thoughts to be shared with each other, but the air wasn't allowed to listen; not allowed to carry the words to another ear. We were to be a complete enigma to the grass and rocks.
I leaned back against him, sliding my head to the other side of his chest, just so I could look up at his face. I tilted my head too, not understanding the meaning behind his words. "I always wanted to be pulled away, dragged off into nowhere and just disappear." It was strange to listen to something like that from him. He was much more sociable than I was. He liked talking, and he loved being listened to. I was sure that if he could rule the world, he'd want to.
I placed my palm on his cheek, dragging him away from his thoughts, forcing him to look at me, lying limp in his arms. I wanted to be a burden for him, so he would notice me and only me. Too preoccupied to notice the sound of the waves or the calling of the gulls. I wanted him to focus on me. I didn't want him to disappear. "What? You wanna go with me?" He asked, a hint of joking in his voice.
He was being ambiguous and bittersweet. He was pulling me along on a string, cutting it, and going off in multiple directions, leaving me stranded. He leaned down, and took my lips in his, kissing me with that passion that always burned in him. He was hotter than a solar flare. His kiss left me with feelings I didn't want to get rid of, but I didn't want them to stay forever- I didn't want to get overwhelmed and corrupted by them. I thought they would fade with time, but as the seconds dragged on, they only grew inside me. I wanted to evolve with them. He pulled away from me, continuing to stare out into the nothingness this world had to offer. Empty and hollow, but still able to be filled, I hoped.
I grasped at his shirt, forcing him back to me. I couldn't let his wandering thoughts take him away from me. I would fight tooth-and-nail to keep him here, with or without me, because Seifer was worth more than life. I once again tore his attention from the outside world, allowing him to make our lips one again. I felt more passion, more attentiveness, less loneliness, more wholeness. We ended up on our sides, lips still firmly pressed together, our mouths opening, as if to suck the other's soul clean out of his body.
I ached for him, my heart pounded for him, and I was rewarded handsomely. But Seifer didn't like that he was the one being kissed. No, he wanted to be the one doing the kissing. He rolled me over, pouncing on me like a tiger, ruthless for the hunt. Passionately assaulting me, making me his, and his alone. I pushed back on him, wanting to make him mine just as much as I was his. Wanting him. Every part of him, his loyalty, his passion, his thoughts...
We battled like this long and hard, our hands gripping onto each other with everything we had, and we ended up in the ocean, ignoring the wetness of our clothing and hair, just laying there soaking up salt water and getting sand in between our fingers. We lay there, his head on the shore, and our feet in the water, with me, sprawled out on top of him, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. He wrapped his arms around me protectively, holding me there as if the ocean might steal me away- I knew the feeling.
He looked me in the eyes and I felt the Earth stop moving. His fingers ran through my wet hair, pulling it back, much like his own, except my hair didn't look quite as nice in that style. "You look even more like a girl when you're all wet."
"Look who's talking, girly eyes."
"Oh! Now it's on." He flipped over, forcing me onto the sandy water. He stood, but I got up quicker. I managed to push him over, which was miraculous in itself, due to his size, and he fell down into the water, splashing me in the process. He got up quickly squirting a mouthful of water at me. I dodged it, to which he retaliated by grabbing my ankle, knocking me down to join him.
We wrestled like this in many different positions and became exhausted because of the heaviness of our clothes and the breaths we had to hold. We still managed to find something funny about our current predicament and lay there on the sand laughing. A wave came up out of the blue from behind, and we each got another mouthful of saltwater. I ended up choking it out, but Seifer seemed fine. He was worried about me though and immediately started patting me heavily on the back. After all, the water was gone, and I was done hacking it up, we started laughing again.
We laid there on the beach, watching the clouds dissipate away from the sun, allowing it to hide from the world for a while. The fronts of our bodies were nearly dry, our backs were still soggy due to the lack of sunlight. I picked myself up, into the sitting position, standing up was a little hard. I suppose I injured myself without noticing. "It's getting late." I said.
He looked at me and sat up. He glanced around for his jacket, spun around on his knees and pushed himself up. He walked over and scooped up his jacket. He draped the jacket over my shoulders and wrapped a protective, loving arm around me. He led me into town like that, not caring that the end of his coat was dragging along the sand due to my height, or lack thereof.
I leaned against him, my wet hair against his chest. Balamb was quiet tonight, unusually so. We stepped onto the paved streets, just walking, heading in any direction we found fit. "I suppose dinner wouldn't hurt." Seifer mumbled.
I gave him an approving nod and allowed him to lead the way. Any place in Balamb had something good on the menu. I wasn't particularly in the mood for anything special, so wherever he wanted to go, was where we would walk to. He stood indecisively at the street corner, looking back and forth between the bar and the café. I couldn't say I blamed him. Seifer was old enough to drink here in Balamb, but the café had an older, more traditional feel to it. He looked at the café one more time, and then turned and headed for the bar.
"Okay with you?" He asked me. I nodded, perfectly fine with anywhere we were to go. We stepped inside, and took a seat in a booth on the opposite side of the bar, against the wall underneath a picture of a far-away place I didn't think I'd ever visit. I shrugged out of his jacket, keeping it behind me for warmth's sake. He picked up a menu and glimpsed over the choices.
"Why do you want to be like the sand on the beach?" I asked him suddenly, catching him off guard. He just stared at me like he didn't know what I was talking about. I'm sure he did though. As he thought about it, he became more and more aware.
"You never felt that way?" He looked back at the menu, hoping that somehow, that would be enough to dismiss me and ease my aching to know. It only made things worse for him- but maybe he knew that. Maybe he was provoking me.
"Yesterday morning. Right before I met you." I answered honestly. "But I didn't want to be sand carried away in the tide. I wanted to be like clouds, careless little clouds that move along with nothing to do-"
"-And nowhere to be." Seifer finished for me. The exact words I wanted to use. It was like he stole them from me, knowing he could give them more meaning, more definition than I would ever be able to. I looked up at him, staring into those bright cyan colored eyes, which although masked by a graceful femininity, were passionate and piercing in their gaze. I finally understood what Seifer meant. I didn't need to say anything more. I was being so foolish and utterly naïve. I didn't want to embarrass myself any further. He felt my embarrassment and shifted his legs under the table. His knees brushed against mine, which in a weird way, comforted me. I supposed it worked the same way as it did with shoulders, minus the cultural influence.
"You want a beer?" Seifer asked me.
"Can you?" I asked. He knew what I meant.
"Yeah. Girls like this are easy." He thumbed over to the waitress, a young and petite brunette, who was busy scribbling down an order from an older man, whose hair was slightly askew and stress building up behind his eyes, after his day's work. I took the subtle hint from his choice of words and decided not to say anymore. She bowed to him, apologetically, and grabbed his menu. She ran the order over to the bar and came back quickly with his draft beer.
Seifer glimpsed at the beer list a final time. She dropped off the beer for the older man in the corner before coming to our table. She looked like she knew what she was doing, but was having a hard time keeping everything together. Seifer flashed that oh-so-charismatic smile. In another time period, I would have compared it to James Dean, but Seifer was much more desirable than he had been. If they were in the same room, James would be sweating. Hell, if Seifer was in spitting distance, Mr. Dean would have found himself on fire.
This girl was just as susceptible to Seifer's charms as anyone else. I couldn't imagine anyone not falling for him. He was the most gravitating person I've ever met. I was drawn to him like a moth to the flame, and I didn't know how bad my burns were going to be yet. Maybe if I was lucky, I would turn out to be fireproof.
"Hello dear." Seifer's voice lacked his normal sincerity, but there wasn't anything sinister about it. In other words, he was covered in sugar. It was a wonder to me that someone with a silver tongue like this could get kicked out of high school. He must have done something pretty impressive.
She gave a shy smile. "Can I get you anything to drink?"
"We'll each have your most expensive draft." That coating over his voice was just dripping with moistened sugar. She glanced at me with an unsure look but looked back at Seifer. He looked older than 18 of course, but mostly due to his unusual height and sharpened facial features. I'm sure, compared to him, however, I looked delicate and youthful.
"Alright..." She was still rather unsure.
"Wonderful." Seifer smiled with his eyes, in a faux-fondness that lingered throughout the air between them. "We'll also start with an order of fries."
"Certainly." She smiled, seemingly more comfortable with us and our choice of beverage immediately. In truth, it was more like she was distracted and bewitched by Seifer's charisma.
Seifer turned back to the menu. "I'll be having the fish sandwich." He pointed on the menu to indicate which one. She nodded and collected his menu before turning to me.
I cleared my throat, due to all the falseness in the air taking my breath away. "Shrimp Alfredo for me." I looked away, handing her the menu on the side. She took it and stacked it against Seifer's.
"Your order will be out in about twenty minutes. I'll be right back with your drinks." She smiled and walked away. Our beers were brought back rather quickly.
As soon as she was out of earshot, I pulled my eyebrows into glare at the blond across from me. "Did you have to?"
His only physical reaction was to smirk back at me. "No, but I enjoyed it." He answered simply. He took a swig of his beer, allowed the taste of alcohol to linger on his tongue, and subsequently swallowed. He proceeded to lick the excess of his teeth with the tip of his tongue. He was flirting with me, so I couldn't help but smirk.
I leaned against my arm on the table, not caring about proper etiquette in a small town place like this. Especially not after Seifer's little show. I couldn't help but smile at him, though. Seifer was the type of person who did what he wanted, and I liked that about him- in fact, I adored it.
He smiled back at me, knowing full well he had won the battle I hadn't even known we were fighting. Our flirtatious smiles quickly escalated to full on laughter, much to the displeasure of the older man in the corner, who was, ostensibly, trying to get drunk in peace and quiet, who scoffed loudly enough for Seifer to hear over his low-pitched chuckles. Seifer, still smirking flipped the old man off from over his shoulder, not even bothering to look for a reaction.
The old man definitely saw it, and grunted, before picking up his beer and once again downing a large portion of it. Seifer was too much for him, and he knew that. He was too intimidating to be trifled with.
Our food was placed in front of us before the twenty minutes were up. Our favorite waitress walked back over to tend to the old man's hurt ego with some beer-battered fish sticks.
We ate making small talk with each other over trivial little things. I tasted his sandwich, because he wanted some shrimp. I had to admit, his tasted better with the beer. We finished our meal, and the bill long passed arrived. The old man had staggered out onto the street some time ago.
Our poor waitress was stuck cleaning tables for the night. We watched her when her back was turned. She was a hard little worker. When she was within our vicinity, Seifer motioned her over. She came quickly, wiping her hands off on her apron, which was hanging off her slim hips, no longer reaching over her chest. "Did you guys need anything?"
"No, nothing like that, dear." Seifer paused, this time the usual sincerity was back, but it was combined with a sweetened honesty which meant he was truly sorry for what he had done. "We lied to you dear, he's not quite old enough to have this. We promise not to tell your boss or anything, so let's keep it our little secret."
Her lips pulled into a smile. "I kinda knew that much. You guys aren't that much older than me you know." She grinned. "Don't worry about it. My dad's the owner, after all. He lets me drink here, too. Some nights, anyway." It was a relief, but our burden wasn't quite lifted.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out my wallet, grabbing my credit card and handing it over with the bill. She scurried off to the register. I looked over at Seifer. "Do you have any tip money?"
Seifer shook his head. "I only have cash in large bills." I nodded and searched my wallet. Luckily, I found enough gil to be a reasonable tip. Seifer made an enlightened face and reached into his pants pockets. "I forgot. I found this on the hotel room floor." He tossed another 100 gil on the table. Now it was perfect. We hid the gratuity underneath a napkin with Seifer's empty beer glass lying on top, mostly as a cruel joke to make her think we didn't leave her anything.
When she brought my credit card and receipt, I signed quickly and handed that copy over, pocketing the other. She bowed to us on our way out, reminding us to have a pleasant evening. We would. We were together, after all.
I kept Seifer's coat close to my chest, absorbing the heat from the fabric, as well as the scent from in-between the threads. Seifer smelled wonderful- like fresh air and spring water. I allowed Seifer to lead the way through the suburbs, as he seemed to know where he was going. I supposed maybe he had visited the city in the past and followed along carelessly. "Seifer?" I finally asked when I realized we were basically just taking a tour of the city. He looked at me in response. "Where are we going?"
"I'm looking for a car lot." He continued searching on his own.
"Well, there's one by the entrance to the city." I answered, knowing Balamb like the back of my hand. I'd been here several times, just to stock up on things I couldn't get at school.
"Oh." He stopped walking, waiting for me to take the lead instead. Seifer didn't fit the role of the helpless lamb who needed to be led around; so instead, we walked side by side, making the thin walkway all the more narrow. There wasn't anybody else on the street tonight, so we were free to do as we pleased. Not that Seifer and I would mind sharing the same space. I didn't feel like questioning his motives on the matter of the car. I supposed he was going to rent one, but I didn't know what purpose that would serve. He wanted to go to Balamb when I met him yesterday, but now that we were here...
That's when it finally occurred to me that soon, Seifer would be leaving. I didn't want him to go. It made me so... heartbroken. I stopped walking, dead in my tracks, the world bypassing me, leaving me standing there stranded and alone. My heart fell to the floor and shattered like glass, when I thought it was at least a semi-durable plastic. The pieces of my soul scattered in every direction, leaving me nothing to hold onto. The shadow on my face grew. The sunlight was blocked, so I saw only the light surrounding the figure that was Seifer, who had moved into the sun's path.
I felt gravity leave me and the pieces of my heart rising in my body. Like magnets slamming together with nothing in their paths, the pieces of my heart formed back together rapidly. It was like ripping off a Band-Aid- it stung like hell when I was pulling too slowly, but when someone came and ripped it off I felt nothing, but the end result was marvelously freeing.
Chilled fingertips crawled up my cheeks, and sent shivers straight up my spine, as if it started at my tailbone. I jerked up, closer, into his arms, my thin body pressed against his hardened, toned build. I felt more vulnerable than a dismembered soldier left in the middle of the battlefield. I didn't want to die in his arms.
His fingers, which had up to this point, been laying on the right side of my face, slipped down, passed my jaw to underneath my chin. I hadn't been able to shave in a while, so my skin texture was rough and jagged. He didn't seem to mind, though. His roughed, slightly chapped lips laid on mine.
My mind went completely blank, and I stood there, completely unable to even form a solid thought, let alone pin it down with words. He took my wild running thoughts and replaced them with solidarity. If he was my rock, my backbone, what was I supposed to do when I was alone? Would his presence in this one frame of time remain a still life painting within the depths of my heart?
His cold and steady fingertips found the clammy palms of my hands and slid through them, taking my fingers in-between his. Lacing them together effortlessly. Once the seams were sewn like that, it'd take a miracle to tear them apart. That confidence, that perfection was Seifer's very essence. I would never again doubt that those fingers were there. Even if I couldn't physically see them or feel them, they would be there. Even if just in the heat radiating off my fingertips. Doubting the legitimacy of Seifer's feelings, of the very emotion he put into his hand when it became one with mine, would be utterly maddening. It would drive me insane; like I wasn't alive on the Earth I was born on. Like I was in the twilight zone with no way home.
He, himself, would be my soul when my soul was gone. He owned me, he could occupy my body if he wanted to. I wasn't sure how much sense it made to anyone else, but to me, it was as if all the secrets in the world were no longer mysteries. No longer puzzling questions, but answers for everything that was ever worth being curious about. The passion that flashed in his eyes for that instant was enough to last me for forever. Much longer than a photograph, painting, or statue that would eventually fade and whither away, but rather as an energy, never burning out or disappearing on me.
I followed him willingly again, traveling down the sidewalk, ignoring everything that wasn't related to us. He led me in the right direction, because even without me telling him, he knew what information I was trying to give him. He knew what I wanted and why. He knew everything I knew, directly from me, as I did him. He looked at a wooden bench near the entrance to the car rental lot. I sat down, knowing he was going to be a while.
I wasn't that interested in vehicles or anything of the sort. I'm sure he knew details, but his interest wasn't focused on them. I wasn't sure what Seifer's hobbies were, but he probably had a lot of them. I sat there, curling up with his trench coat. I didn't mind the weight of the material, nor the flooding scent of Seifer escaping from the gaps in the fibers. Rather, I enjoyed the warmth and his presence. I could tell from the patching on the inside that this coat was one of Seifer's most precious processions. The tattered pieces and the stitches inside were not from mistreatment, rather just worn out of love.
I wondered if he found it weird that I was sitting there, curled up in his coat, staring at the amateurishly stitched marks on the interior of the garment, thinking about how much he loved it. Maybe it was strange, but it hardly mattered. Seifer loved this trench coat, so I would love it too.
He came out of the building, with an employee in tow. They were talking about something pretty strange according to the look on the man's face. He looked as if Seifer had just proposed the most peculiar of suggestions. He eventually just nodded and went back inside the building. A man wearing a suit came out, who I could only suppose was the manager of the establishment.
I raised an eyebrow- unintentionally, trying to figure out what was such a big deal. I knew I wouldn't get any answers trying to figure it out for myself. Seifer was too far away to read, and the situation was over my head. I didn't think Seifer wanted me to know. That was fine. I had the utmost faith in him.
Seifer nodded, with an empathized movement, that he was indeed serious and knew what he was talking about. Perhaps he was trying to get a large discount. I didn't know. I turned my head around, trying to view the ocean instead. I hated not knowing- despite my trust in Seifer. I stared at the sky on the horizon, right above the water, watching as the seagulls traveled in circles pointlessly. Stupid birds who had nowhere to be and nothing to do.
A whistle coming from behind me startled me out of my lucid daydream. I looked over to see Seifer staring at me, motioning me over with a single tilt of his head. I stood and walked over, carrying his coat on my shoulders. He turned me with his hand, so he was at my side and reached his hand into his coat pocket. He pulled out his wallet, and I immediately noticed the weight difference. It wasn't anything major, but it was enough so that I felt less of a burden carrying the jacket around.
The owner walked back inside, and Seifer followed him. He held the door open for me, so I safely assumed he wanted me to be there as well. I followed him inside, standing mindlessly next to him while he signed papers and handed over forms of identification he had on him. He pulled out from his wallet, a large amount of cash in which he handed over to the man for counting. This made me cringe. I wasn't sure what Seifer was doing, but it didn't seem normal.
The man counted out the large bills, nodding in surprise when he saw that it was all there. He looked up at Seifer. "You sure about this?"
"Yes." He reached over the man's desk and took the key that he wanted. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I knew I didn't like it. He walked back outside. I followed him, still oblivious. He walked over to a car, which I could tell from the outside, had been seldom used. He opened the driver's seat door, and unlocked, electronically, all the other doors. I got into the passenger's seat. He put the key in the ignition and started up the engine.
Any normal person would have asked where we were going. Any normal person would have cared. I suppose any concept of normality for me went out the window a long time ago. He backed up, out of the parking lot, using only the overhead mirror as a reference. I supposed that's just how he was. Although I had never had an experience driving with him before, he seemed like he knew what he was doing. He turned onto the highway and began his journey on the road. He drove faster than I thought was necessary, but he seemed all right.
"You know... I'm not supposed to be driving." He said out of the blue. I became apprehensive, not necessarily upset or fearful, but definitely concerned for our safety.
"Oh?" I turned to the road, staring blankly, allowing the yellow dashes below us to travel at high speed behind us.
"I don't have very good vision, after all. Not much peripheral vision in my left eye to speak of, but I didn't want to hit any telephone poles on my way here, see?" He grinned at me, and I leaned on my shoulder against the window.
"Oh, shut up." Then I couldn't help it anymore. I let out an appreciative chuckle, and he joined me laughing. I loved Seifer's laughter more than any other sound in the world. It was loud and happy. If he found it funny: he found it hilarious. I wanted to hear him laugh all the time, if only because I was too concerned with the outside view of me to realize that it was okay to be happy- even if you had to be loud to do so.
I was somehow surprised when we pulled up to Balamb University. I guess it was inevitable that I would have to come back here. I didn't know where I was supposed to be, after all. Seifer just decided for me. I guess he made the right decision. He turned the key, killing the engine. We sat there in silence. So this was it. Seifer got out of the car and walked around to let me out. I got out of the car and stood beside it, looking like an idiot, waiting for him to make the next move.
He pulled me over into his muscular arms, holding me tightly, like he wanted me to break. I wasn't quite fragile enough to break on him; instead, my arms clung to him just as viciously- with just as much intensity. Like this was the last time I would ever feel this way.
I felt him slip his fingers in through my belt loop, pulling at my pants for something. Whatever he wanted from me, he was more than welcome to have it. Instead, I felt something being inserted into my jeans pocket. I tried to reach down and find out what it was, but Seifer's hand caught my wrist and he forced my arm back upwards.
As soon as we made eye contact I was at a complete loss. I no longer wanted to fight him to find out what he had done. I didn't need answers- I needed him and only him. He crushed his lips against mine, even at the extent of hurting himself. His seriousness flustered me and I kissed him for what I suddenly realized would be the final time.
His coat was pulled off my shoulders, leaving me feeling naked and cold, but I didn't mind so much. He looked at me, his eyes flashing like lightning in the midnight sky, and he took off, running to Hyne knew where, leaving me standing there by myself, but not alone- never alone. The car sat there in its parking space, and I turned around, going inside the main resident building, for when he decided to leave. He deserved his privacy, I suppose. Even though it hurt that he didn't want me to find him, I knew that in his mind at least, it was the best option available. He always did make the right decisions.
I walked inside the entrance and stared at the empty lobby. There were a few people in there, but they were insignificant and unknown. I never met them before, and I probably never would. Regardless of how many people were in there, the room would still be empty, because there wasn't any light here. I walked over, with my usual scowl in place, and my usual "too busy to talk to you" stride and made my way over to the elevator. I pushed the up button and waited for a short second before the doors swung open. Once inside, I was the sole person in the space, and it gave me a chance to investigate whatever Seifer had given me before he left. I reached my hand into my pocket and pulled out the large metallic key. The key to that damned car in the parking lot. That stupid black 2007 Pontiac G6 was sitting out there, haunting me. I couldn't even see it, but the fact that it was down there waiting for me plagued me with an overwhelming sickness. I knew what it was there for.
It burnt my chest. My eyes wanted to brim with tears, but my cheeks were pulling my mouth into a smile. I couldn't do both, but I couldn't pick one. So I just stood there like an idiot, staring at the key in my hand. Not knowing what emotion to express; not knowing what to feel.
Seifer had no idea what he was to me. He probably never would. I didn't understand why he had done this for me. Me, who had given him nothing and received everything. My heart beat for him, and yet I had nothing to give him in return. It burned me, and then froze me resentfully, and made me want to scream.
What on Earth were you thinking, Seifer? What the hell did you mean when you handed me this key and ran off without a word? Where were you? What were you doing?
I allowed my heart to ache. I allowed my anguish to burn in my stomach, and come out as fire in my mouth, using words alone. I allowed it to hurt me, but not too much- because I remembered he was there. Somehow, within those hours we spent together, a piece of him entered my body, and it wasn't going to leave anytime soon. That piece of him grew every single time I thought of him, and I thought of him often. Every second he wandered into my thoughts, seeds and water would be thrown around into the Garden of Seifer located deep within the pit of my heart. That garden would remain there until my dying breath.
So that's the end of the prologue. I hope you enjoyed it. Please remember to drop me a line if you see any errors or mistakes. If you have any comments to make, or even if you just want to tell me your feelings on it. That's the greatest gift we writers can hope for.