A/N Chapter 2 is here! Just in case I didn't mention it before, I don't have a specific schedule for this story. I know you understand, at least a little bit, the unpredictability of life. I swear I will try my best to update frequently. I won't keep you waiting too long, and I'll try to give you guys a warning if I think I won't update for a while.

Enjoy!

Stardate 42073.85 April 30, 2364

"You're going to die!" I choked on that terrible word. "No, you can't!" My heart ached and tears streamed down my face. I did the only thing I could think of as Ian collapsed on the pillow.

"I need the Doctor in my quarters now!" I screamed into my comm badge. "Ian, no!" I hollered, trying to get him to respond.

"Ian!" I kept saying it over and over, holding my little boy close to me. Wake up, please. Ian, listen to me. Open your eyes! I urgently kept speaking into his head, trying to keep him conscious.

Doctor Pulaski ran in with Data and Will right behind her. She scanned him around his neck with the tricorder. The beeping sound was fading. I knew what it meant, but the Doctor said it anyway.

"I'm losing life-signs." I froze in hope as she shot a hypospray into his neck to no prevail. I looked at the Doctor, hoping for some comfort, and knew it.

My son was dead.

"I'm sorry…" the Doctor said. Data and Commander Riker both looked at the ground as I held on to Ian. Will's comm badge sounded and Geordi reported, "The containment field has... stabilized!" Will thanked him solemnly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement on the bed. I watched as the body of my little Ian materialized and that same blue-white energy spark that entered my body was in my hand. It made a beautiful tinkly sound like tiny bells and it's aura had a certain warmth. The connection I had with Ian in human form was fading, but I still heard when the life form projected its thoughts to me.

Don't cry. Ian's voice made its way into my mind. I had to keep you safe. I came to learn about humans, and the easiest way was to go through the natural process. I chose you, and I'm glad I did. You were different. You were the one who knows. You balance the life here. Most importantly, you taught me about a human mother's love. I smiled at the glowing life-form in my hand, wishing I had more tangible memories of him, something other than just a few photos. Somehow I know I will never forget.

The spark hovered above my hand for a moment, then flew away into the cosmos. I told them what Ian said, and they all hugged me sadly and left. I couldn't bring myself to sleep in my bed, so I set up on the sofa, only imagining for a moment my son was still there.

Hours later I tossed and turned and the day kept repeating itself in my head like a broken record. I checked my chrono. It read 12:03, officially tomorrow. I groaned in frustration at my lack of sleep but decided against getting a hypo from Sick Bay. Instead, I went over to the mirror to study myself.

My peach skin was blotchy in spots. My dark, endless eyes were bloodshot from crying all night. Any light in my eyes was gone. My full lips pulled taught in a seemingly permanent frown. My dark curls fell over my shoulders in tangled clumps and there was a huge knot at the back of my head. My hair would be hell to brush out in the morning.

The door chimed, announcing a visitor.

"Come in! I called, barely able to keep my voice from cracking.

"Hey, Dee, I just wanted to check if you're...okay- Oh, Deanna!" It was Commander Riker, he said with a softness that melted my resolve. I gave in to the emotion. I just sobbed into Will's shoulder, letting go of the sadness, guilt, and grief I'd held onto for the past seven hours or so. I knew my Imzadi would listen and understand. And whether or not I wanted to admit it, I was vulnerable and needed his support right then.

"I could have saved him!" I cried over and over. He just held onto me and smoothed my hair.

As my sobs calmed into sniffles, Will ordered the replicator to pour red wine for two. "Deanna…" he trailed off, handing me the wine. I sipped, savoring the sweet flavor. "Imzadi, tell me everything," he whispered. I confided about how I knew it wasn't my fault but I still somehow felt responsible for Ian's death, how if he hadn't left, everyone on the ship would have died, and how selfish I was for still wanting him alive, regardless of the threat he posed to the Enterprise. By the end, my face was soaked with tears, and I felt bare after I let out all of my emotions on poor Will.

"I know it's so stupid of me," I said, laughing tearfully and turning away. Will put his hand on my knee.

"No, no no. No, it's not your fault. Ian was kind, lovable, curious, and selfless. He sacrificed himself for you, Deanna. He wouldn't want you to be sad, but he did what he had to do for the safety of this ship. He loved you, and you've lost a big part of yourself. God, Deanna, it's okay to cry. Scream, even. This is hard, and I'm here for you."

"Will… please stay. I need someone here. No, I need you here." Will simply reached for my hand and nodded. Then he kissed my forehead and tucked me into bed like I was a young girl and settled down next to me. I almost felt guilty- that was the best sleep that night then I've had in years.

A/N Thanks for reading, y'all. 66 people have read chapter 1, and I thank all of you! That's about sixty more people than I expected!

I am welcoming ideas for the next chapter! Put any thoughts and ideas in the reviews section or PM me.