WHAT THE?
Chapter II: The Cure
Disclaimer: No, Saiyuki doesn't belong to me! It doesn't..really!
Summary: What happens if the Sanzo-ikkou turn into girls (women)? Total humor. This is my first shot at humor, please be nice!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"So how do we reverse it?" Sanzo asked edgily.
"I heard there are two ways. One way is to find the demon who put this curse on you and make him undo it," Hakkai replied.
"Well, Sanzo killed the demon already so that's not an option," Gojyo said, glaring at Sanzo.
"As if he'd agree to undo it," Sanzo countered angrily, eyes dark.
"Sanzo's right," Goku said smartly. The three looked at him in surprise.
"Did your brain get bigger, saru?" Gojyo asked, shocked.
"Well, women's brains are known to be a bit bigger than men," Hakkai said. "So in girl form Goku is smarter."
"Good," Sanzo said. "Then this body isn't just all disadvantages."
"What's the other option, Hakkai?" Goku asked.
"Find the clan members of this demon and ask them to reverse it."
"That's all!?" Sanzo exclaimed.
"So far," Hakkai replied. The four looked at each helplessly.
"Who knows if we wiped out their clan already," Gojyo muttered. "With all the youkai we've killed, who knows."
"I have another problem," Goku cut in. "What are we going to wear? This body is smaller than my own, and my clothes are really baggy. And since Sanzo, er, became younger, his clothes are practically an adult size."
The three looked at him again.
"I'm not used to the smart Goku," Sanzo admitted. "But he's right. What are we going to wear?"
"Well, maybe we can find someone who can reverse this. Let's travel for the while. When we see a town lets buy clothes."
When the four arrived in a town, they went inside a clothes shop. The saleslady eyed them, because they were dressed so. . . strange.
"There are some clothes in the rack," The woman said eyeing them strangely. "Have you lost your clothes and only have men's clothes left?"
Gojyo grinned at her. "Something like that. But will we have a da-" Hakkai poked him. Gojyo realized he was a 'woman' now. He groaned.
"You were saying?" She inquired.
"Nothing," Goku rescued Gojyo. "We were looking for dance shoes."
"Oh," the woman said, smiling at him. "Dancers? Sorry, but we're out of stock of dance shoes."
"That's okay," Sanzo said quickly. "We'll just get some clothes and get out of here."
The four looked for clothes. Hakkai chose a yellow long-sleeved sweater and a plain brown skirt. He smiled fondly, remembering Kanna. Glancing at his long brown hair, he resolved to tie it in a braid, just like Kanna's.
Gjyo chose a long tight dress that showed of her curves. He frowned at it. "Hakkai, does this look good on me?" Hakkai looked at the dress.
"It's your style," Hakkai said, smiling. "But you might get lots of admirers that way." Gojyo sighed but decided to wear it. Hakkai chuckled.
Sanzo, being a whole lot younger, chose a simple yellow kimono that sort of reminded him of his old clothes. He smiled at it and tried it on. It fitted perfectly and made him looked very innocent. He flicked away his long hair happily, deciding that being a girl wasn't so bad anyway.
Goku chose a long blue dress that made him look very kawaii (^__^). The four of them paid and went away. Gojyo kept on complaining but Goku, surprisingly, shut him up.
"You keep quiet," he had said. "You chose it and you should stop complaining."
Goku wasn't that 'hara hetta ish' that day, but the four decided to eat, anyway. They got to a restaurant soon.
"Hey, babes!" The men in the place began hooting and whistling. Both Gojyo and Sanzo were immediately annoyed at them.
"Urusai, baka!" Sanzo yelled. He grabbed his gun and pointed it at one man. The people began backing away.
"Nice one," Goku commented. The three of them, once again, were shocked.
"I still can't get to the smart Goku," Gojyo whispered to Hakkai.
One man looked at Sanzo. He was rather tall, and with Sanzo's height, he looked like a total giant. "Who d'you think you are, gaki?"
Even though the guy was practically two feet higher than him, Sanzo just looked at him as he usually did. "I think I know who I'm dealing with, baka!"
The guy turned red. His veins popping, the irritated man grabbed Sanzo by the neck. "Just because you're a little girl means I'll go easy on you!"
Sanzo kicked the guy. "Che. I thought you were strong." The guy had a big wound in the stomach where Sanzo kicked him.
"Teme," He growled. "I'll kill you!"
Goku expertly blocked off the guy and threw him against the wall. "Let's get out of here," Goku muttered, motioning for the door.
The three agreed and they walked away. The guy yelled, "Kisama! Come back here, gaki!" At that Sanzo lost his temper and shot the guy.
BANG!!!!
Goku, Hakkai and Gojyo winced.
SANZO
"He deserved to die," I said an hour later. We were back on the road, now on a forest again.
"Forget it, Sanzo," Hakkai said. "I'm just glad you didn't kill anyone." I glared at Hakkai. He now had his hair in a fat braid and was smiling.
"I absolutely hate being a girl," Gojyo moaned for the fiftieth time of that day. I really wanted to shoot him. Really wanted to.
"Sanzo, do you feel something strange?" Goku asked a few minutes later. I turned to look at the brown-haired girl.
"Iie," I replied, trying to feel the air around me. It was soothing and calm, but there seemed to be a mysterious feeling that I couldn't put my finger on. I knew it very well, I just couldn't remember.
"Well, I feel there's youkai."
"YOUKAI!" The three of us exclaimed.
"Yeah, but the youkai's different," Goku said, shivering. "There's-"
Suddenly a girl ran into our path, and almost got hit by Hakuryu.
"Watch where you're going!" The girl yelled. She glared at us.
"You watch were you're going," Gojyo said.
"Leave her alone, Gojyo," I said sharply. I turned to her. "We'd better get going. Where are you going, maybe we can give you a lift." I caught myself. Why was I suddenly so nice? Must be part of being a girl.
"Yuki-chan?" The girl suddenly said. She smiled and suddenly hugged me. "Oh, Yuki-chan, I was looking for you!"
"I'm not Yuki," I said, trying to push her away.
"You're... You're not?" The girl stared at me, bewildered. After a few minutes, she sighed. "Yes, you're not Yuki. My name is Sakura. My sister, Yuki, is missing. She's a potion mixer, but she disappeared three days ago. I'm afraid youkai took her."
"Potion mixer?" Hakkai said slowly, as if he was having a hard time understanding Sakura.
"Yeah, her potions are great. They can take off curses, spells, anything. She's wonderful."
"Did you say she can take off curses?" Goku said excitedly. "We're under a curse right now, we used to be guys but we were turned into girls. Can she help us?"
"If we can find her," Sakura said sadly. She smiled weakly. "You see, Yuki and I are youkai."
"But you can stay conscious?" I asked, shocked. "How can you?"
"Yes, we can, Yuki's potion did that. In fact, Gyokumen Kyushu-" Sakura made a face, "-asked us to join her group in reviving Gyumao. She said Yuki's potions and my fighting are a big plus to them. But we didn't want it. We're living peacefully in this forest. Gyokumen Kyushu wouldn't leave us alone, pursuing us. At one point we considered joining her because most of our ningen neighbors were constantly being harassed because of us. But Yuki came up with something better."
"What was it?" Gojyo asked curiously.
"She made our house invisible," Sakura answered. "Youkai pursued us everywhere, but they didn't find us. Yuki and I were very careful when going out. We lived happily until one Yuki went to get some herbs. She's been missing for one week." She sighed sadly. "I've been searching everyday. You see, Yuki's a great potion mixer but not exactly a fighter. I'm more of that. Yuki's defenseless."
"If we find her, can she help reverse the spell?" I asked Sakura.
"She'll be more than happy, and so will I," Sakura replied. "Why don't you guys go to my house now and we'll talk there."
Meanwhile, in the West, Gyokumen Kyushu was looking at a girl named Yuki.
"Why don't you help me, Yuki-sama?" Gyokumen Kyushu purred, smiling happily. She glanced at the tied up girl, feeling triumphant.
"NEVER!" Yuki yelled so loud, Kougaiji and his group ran to Gyokumen Kyushu to see if she was in trouble. They glanced at the hostage. They never saw her before, but she distinctly looked like a younger female version of Sanzo.
"Why not?" she asked, not giving up.
"I'll never help with this Gyumao baloney!" Yuki yelled. "I want to live peacefully with humans!"
"You're betraying the demons, Yuki-sama?" Gyokumen Kyushu spat out. "I'm offering you something wonderful, girl! You should be overjoyed!"
"I won't help you! My potions are supposed to bring happiness, not terror!"
"What if I kill your sister, Sakura?" Gyokumen said wickedly. "I'll send my most trained assasins. One girl cannot fight them alone, don't you think?"
Yuki looked terrified.
"If you agree to help me, I'll even let you marry Kougaiji," Gyokumen Kyushu bribed.
Kougaiji blushed. His teammates started teasing him, mainly his sister and best friend. Yaone looked shocked.
"I will never help you. . . you witch!" Yuki spat out.
"You will be punished, then!" the fox glared evilly at her. "If it means forcing your death, girl!"
Chapter II: The Cure
Disclaimer: No, Saiyuki doesn't belong to me! It doesn't..really!
Summary: What happens if the Sanzo-ikkou turn into girls (women)? Total humor. This is my first shot at humor, please be nice!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"So how do we reverse it?" Sanzo asked edgily.
"I heard there are two ways. One way is to find the demon who put this curse on you and make him undo it," Hakkai replied.
"Well, Sanzo killed the demon already so that's not an option," Gojyo said, glaring at Sanzo.
"As if he'd agree to undo it," Sanzo countered angrily, eyes dark.
"Sanzo's right," Goku said smartly. The three looked at him in surprise.
"Did your brain get bigger, saru?" Gojyo asked, shocked.
"Well, women's brains are known to be a bit bigger than men," Hakkai said. "So in girl form Goku is smarter."
"Good," Sanzo said. "Then this body isn't just all disadvantages."
"What's the other option, Hakkai?" Goku asked.
"Find the clan members of this demon and ask them to reverse it."
"That's all!?" Sanzo exclaimed.
"So far," Hakkai replied. The four looked at each helplessly.
"Who knows if we wiped out their clan already," Gojyo muttered. "With all the youkai we've killed, who knows."
"I have another problem," Goku cut in. "What are we going to wear? This body is smaller than my own, and my clothes are really baggy. And since Sanzo, er, became younger, his clothes are practically an adult size."
The three looked at him again.
"I'm not used to the smart Goku," Sanzo admitted. "But he's right. What are we going to wear?"
"Well, maybe we can find someone who can reverse this. Let's travel for the while. When we see a town lets buy clothes."
When the four arrived in a town, they went inside a clothes shop. The saleslady eyed them, because they were dressed so. . . strange.
"There are some clothes in the rack," The woman said eyeing them strangely. "Have you lost your clothes and only have men's clothes left?"
Gojyo grinned at her. "Something like that. But will we have a da-" Hakkai poked him. Gojyo realized he was a 'woman' now. He groaned.
"You were saying?" She inquired.
"Nothing," Goku rescued Gojyo. "We were looking for dance shoes."
"Oh," the woman said, smiling at him. "Dancers? Sorry, but we're out of stock of dance shoes."
"That's okay," Sanzo said quickly. "We'll just get some clothes and get out of here."
The four looked for clothes. Hakkai chose a yellow long-sleeved sweater and a plain brown skirt. He smiled fondly, remembering Kanna. Glancing at his long brown hair, he resolved to tie it in a braid, just like Kanna's.
Gjyo chose a long tight dress that showed of her curves. He frowned at it. "Hakkai, does this look good on me?" Hakkai looked at the dress.
"It's your style," Hakkai said, smiling. "But you might get lots of admirers that way." Gojyo sighed but decided to wear it. Hakkai chuckled.
Sanzo, being a whole lot younger, chose a simple yellow kimono that sort of reminded him of his old clothes. He smiled at it and tried it on. It fitted perfectly and made him looked very innocent. He flicked away his long hair happily, deciding that being a girl wasn't so bad anyway.
Goku chose a long blue dress that made him look very kawaii (^__^). The four of them paid and went away. Gojyo kept on complaining but Goku, surprisingly, shut him up.
"You keep quiet," he had said. "You chose it and you should stop complaining."
Goku wasn't that 'hara hetta ish' that day, but the four decided to eat, anyway. They got to a restaurant soon.
"Hey, babes!" The men in the place began hooting and whistling. Both Gojyo and Sanzo were immediately annoyed at them.
"Urusai, baka!" Sanzo yelled. He grabbed his gun and pointed it at one man. The people began backing away.
"Nice one," Goku commented. The three of them, once again, were shocked.
"I still can't get to the smart Goku," Gojyo whispered to Hakkai.
One man looked at Sanzo. He was rather tall, and with Sanzo's height, he looked like a total giant. "Who d'you think you are, gaki?"
Even though the guy was practically two feet higher than him, Sanzo just looked at him as he usually did. "I think I know who I'm dealing with, baka!"
The guy turned red. His veins popping, the irritated man grabbed Sanzo by the neck. "Just because you're a little girl means I'll go easy on you!"
Sanzo kicked the guy. "Che. I thought you were strong." The guy had a big wound in the stomach where Sanzo kicked him.
"Teme," He growled. "I'll kill you!"
Goku expertly blocked off the guy and threw him against the wall. "Let's get out of here," Goku muttered, motioning for the door.
The three agreed and they walked away. The guy yelled, "Kisama! Come back here, gaki!" At that Sanzo lost his temper and shot the guy.
BANG!!!!
Goku, Hakkai and Gojyo winced.
SANZO
"He deserved to die," I said an hour later. We were back on the road, now on a forest again.
"Forget it, Sanzo," Hakkai said. "I'm just glad you didn't kill anyone." I glared at Hakkai. He now had his hair in a fat braid and was smiling.
"I absolutely hate being a girl," Gojyo moaned for the fiftieth time of that day. I really wanted to shoot him. Really wanted to.
"Sanzo, do you feel something strange?" Goku asked a few minutes later. I turned to look at the brown-haired girl.
"Iie," I replied, trying to feel the air around me. It was soothing and calm, but there seemed to be a mysterious feeling that I couldn't put my finger on. I knew it very well, I just couldn't remember.
"Well, I feel there's youkai."
"YOUKAI!" The three of us exclaimed.
"Yeah, but the youkai's different," Goku said, shivering. "There's-"
Suddenly a girl ran into our path, and almost got hit by Hakuryu.
"Watch where you're going!" The girl yelled. She glared at us.
"You watch were you're going," Gojyo said.
"Leave her alone, Gojyo," I said sharply. I turned to her. "We'd better get going. Where are you going, maybe we can give you a lift." I caught myself. Why was I suddenly so nice? Must be part of being a girl.
"Yuki-chan?" The girl suddenly said. She smiled and suddenly hugged me. "Oh, Yuki-chan, I was looking for you!"
"I'm not Yuki," I said, trying to push her away.
"You're... You're not?" The girl stared at me, bewildered. After a few minutes, she sighed. "Yes, you're not Yuki. My name is Sakura. My sister, Yuki, is missing. She's a potion mixer, but she disappeared three days ago. I'm afraid youkai took her."
"Potion mixer?" Hakkai said slowly, as if he was having a hard time understanding Sakura.
"Yeah, her potions are great. They can take off curses, spells, anything. She's wonderful."
"Did you say she can take off curses?" Goku said excitedly. "We're under a curse right now, we used to be guys but we were turned into girls. Can she help us?"
"If we can find her," Sakura said sadly. She smiled weakly. "You see, Yuki and I are youkai."
"But you can stay conscious?" I asked, shocked. "How can you?"
"Yes, we can, Yuki's potion did that. In fact, Gyokumen Kyushu-" Sakura made a face, "-asked us to join her group in reviving Gyumao. She said Yuki's potions and my fighting are a big plus to them. But we didn't want it. We're living peacefully in this forest. Gyokumen Kyushu wouldn't leave us alone, pursuing us. At one point we considered joining her because most of our ningen neighbors were constantly being harassed because of us. But Yuki came up with something better."
"What was it?" Gojyo asked curiously.
"She made our house invisible," Sakura answered. "Youkai pursued us everywhere, but they didn't find us. Yuki and I were very careful when going out. We lived happily until one Yuki went to get some herbs. She's been missing for one week." She sighed sadly. "I've been searching everyday. You see, Yuki's a great potion mixer but not exactly a fighter. I'm more of that. Yuki's defenseless."
"If we find her, can she help reverse the spell?" I asked Sakura.
"She'll be more than happy, and so will I," Sakura replied. "Why don't you guys go to my house now and we'll talk there."
Meanwhile, in the West, Gyokumen Kyushu was looking at a girl named Yuki.
"Why don't you help me, Yuki-sama?" Gyokumen Kyushu purred, smiling happily. She glanced at the tied up girl, feeling triumphant.
"NEVER!" Yuki yelled so loud, Kougaiji and his group ran to Gyokumen Kyushu to see if she was in trouble. They glanced at the hostage. They never saw her before, but she distinctly looked like a younger female version of Sanzo.
"Why not?" she asked, not giving up.
"I'll never help with this Gyumao baloney!" Yuki yelled. "I want to live peacefully with humans!"
"You're betraying the demons, Yuki-sama?" Gyokumen Kyushu spat out. "I'm offering you something wonderful, girl! You should be overjoyed!"
"I won't help you! My potions are supposed to bring happiness, not terror!"
"What if I kill your sister, Sakura?" Gyokumen said wickedly. "I'll send my most trained assasins. One girl cannot fight them alone, don't you think?"
Yuki looked terrified.
"If you agree to help me, I'll even let you marry Kougaiji," Gyokumen Kyushu bribed.
Kougaiji blushed. His teammates started teasing him, mainly his sister and best friend. Yaone looked shocked.
"I will never help you. . . you witch!" Yuki spat out.
"You will be punished, then!" the fox glared evilly at her. "If it means forcing your death, girl!"