Da Hell?!
Author's Notes: In this chapter, a whole bunch of things happen and things actually begin to get good. Also, I will make it funny. Yay.
Double D opened his eyes and felt as if he had just had his brains smashed out by a hangover. He wasn't quite sure where he was, but the sky seemed to be made of wood and the ground he was lying on was squishy and smelled like dung.
Double D jumped up in a terrified realization, looking around at the horse's stable he had been lying in. He turned around and stared in disgust at the pile of horse dung he had been sleeping in. He almost vomited at the sight of his body's impression.
"Yoo-hoo! What the Pits are you doing in this stable, apprentice?"
At first, Double D assumed the voice as a female. He turned around to see a man with large, hoop earring in a bright-purple cloak standing in front of the open entrance to the stable. The man had curly, black hair. He carried in his hand a wooden staff.
"I'm very sorry for sleeping in your stable, good sir." Double D apologized in great confusion. "You see, I was in the library and—."
"Say no more, I've slept in the stable, myself." The man interrupted. His voice was very camp and with a lisp. Just like what you'd think a gay person—
Double D suddenly felt very awkward.
"Look, as fabulous as it is to sleep in a stable, you need to get to class." The man ordered. He walked over to Double D and grabbed the sleeve of his shirt. He began leading him out of the stable. "But first, let's get you out of this weird little tunic and into your apprentice's robes. This isn't the Thieves' Guild, for Deigin's sake!"
As Double D and the man he hoped wasn't a gay pedophile stepped out of the stable, Double D was startled at what he saw. The stable was in an alley on the side of a large, palace-like, stone building.
The man led Double D out of the alley and into the dirt street in front of the mansion. Double D saw no cars, bikes, or any real kind of vehicles. The men and women who were walking up and down the street all wore simple, medieval-style clothing.
"Honestly, I can understand sleeping in the stable, but in a pile of dung?" The man said to himself as he turned Double D towards the palace and up its large, marvel steps to a pair of giant, red doors. Strange symbols covered the doors and Double D could see no handles.
The man let go of Double D and held his wooden staff against the doors. "EFOD IF!"
The doors suddenly opened up, much to Double D's surprise. "That's the first test a mage has to pass; getting the doors to open." The man explained as he led Double D into a large, white room. There were portraits of men and women in different-colored robes on the left and right-side wall.
A stairway led up to the second story, which Double D could see from where he was standing. Two doors stood closed right next to the stairway. Double D saw that these doors actually had handles.
"Alright, where's your room?" The man asked Double D, snapping him out of his observant situation. "Second floor? First floor? Basement? Or are you married?"
Double D almost fell back in shock. "Married?!" He repeated. "That's impossible! How could I be married at the tender age of sixteen? I ask you!"
The man looked at Double D as if he was joking. "Okay." He answered simply. "But, seriously, where's your room?"
"I don't live here!" Double D said, exasperated. "I live in Peach Creek!"
"Wow, are you some foreign exchange student?" The man asked. "The Mage's College hardly gets any of those. So, is your dad, like, the king of Peach Creek or a baron or what?"
Realization slowly dawned on Double D that he wasn't in Peach Creek anymore.
"What year is it?" Double D asked fearfully, worried about what the answer would be. "Well, what kind of dummy doesn't know that?" The man asked with a laugh. "It's, uh… 1500 years since the slaying of the Light Giant Be'Lebion, or the 1500th."
"And… what country are we in?" "Silly! We're in the city of Red River in the kingdom of Delphi!"
Double D's eyes widened in horror as his memories suddenly came rushing back to him. The library, the shadows, his friends vanishing… wait… his friends…
"Have you seen a short boy with a yellow shirt?" Double D asked worriedly. "Or maybe a tall boy with no chin and one eyebrow?"
"Does he have only one eyebrow or a unibrow?" The man asked seriously. "A unibrow." Double D answered.
"Oh." The man sighed. "No, sorry. Can't say I have."
Double D became even more worried. He had no idea where his friends were or where he was! What's more, he had absolutely no idea how to get back home! More still, he didn't know if he was going to get sick from lying in that horse poop!
"What am I going to do now?" Double D asked himself, close to tears. Unfortunately, the man thought he was talking to him. "Maybe you should skip today's classes, pal." He advised. "Are you feeling okay?"
Double D sighed sadly. Suddenly, he remembered something that the man had said. "Did you say that this was a 'Mage' College?"
"Oh, you're not a student?" The man asked in shock. He put his hands on his face and laughed embarrassedly. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I just assumed you were a student because you were sleeping in our stable."
Double D was going to tell him that anyone could have fallen asleep in his stable, but decided against it. "What, exactly, is a Mage College?"
"You don't know?" The man asked. "Don't they have them in Peach Creek?"
Double D thought his answer over before answering. He wasn't familiar with this world and didn't want to sound stupid. "We're a very poor village." He decided. "I came up here and I got… drunk in a bar. I woke up in your stable."
The man's green eye's squinted slightly at Double D's lie. But, after a second, the man smiled widely. "Well, aren't you lucky to be in the big city?" He asked. "See, kiddo, a Mage College is where 12-year-olds are sent to learn to control the forces of magic."
"Magic?" Double D repeated scrutinously. When the man gave him yet another strange look, Double D coughed. "I was just making sure."
"Well, it's usually only rich, scholar-types that send their kids here." The man explained. Remembering his courtesy, he slapped his forehead. "I forgot to introduce myself! I am the dean of the college, Leopold Snagaplakdangletripper."
The sheer length of the name almost gave Double D an ear-cramp.
"I'll tell you what, kiddo." Leopold offered. "Why don't you stay here for a while, maybe take some classes in basic magic. While you live here you can go out and search for your friends."
Double D considered the offer; it was very reasonable. Besides, it would give him a chance to study up on magic and see if there was any credit to that. But what were the chances that his friends were even in the city? Still, it was probably the best offer he'd get.
"I accept." Double D decided. "Fabulous!" Leopold said delightedly. "Now, let's go get you a cloak and a staff…"
MEANWHILE…
The large, black dragon sat perched in an even bigger chamber in an even bigger castle on an even bigger hill. There were no windows in the room, so as to keep out the accursed sun. Shadows covered the entire room, though the dragon itself seemed to have no shadow.
"My plan to bring my master to this world seems to have failed." The dragon said. Its voice, though loud and powerful, was also deep like an old man's. "Instead, I have brought mere children… I may need to let the Council know of this, but why let them worry for nothing?"
The dragon looked at its prisoner; one of the children from the other world had appeared in his castle. It had removed the child's shadow and placed it in a large cage hanging from the ceiling.
"Still, there is the chance I brought the Destined Ones to this world by accident." The dragon mused thoughtfully. "Though the stories say they will be brought here by gods… ah, how trivial."
A long, long rope lowered from the ceiling and a man-like creature crawled down it. It was a patchwork person with long arms and legs and an insane, razor-sharp smile on its face. Cut in its patchwork face were two glowing, yellow eyes that stared at the dragon madly.
"Demogath!" The creature greeted, speaking without moving its mouth. The dragon, Demogath, groaned inside. Patches: the most annoying member of the Council of 13.
"Demogath, my friend, my master, my bully, my slave!" Patches greeted madly, hanging upside down in front of the dragon's snout. "I have such news for you, Demobuddy!"
Despite being relentlessly annoying, Demogath also found the bizarre creature incredibly useful. Patches was the only member of the Council who owed loyalty to him and not just the council. However, the threat of betrayal wasn't unimaginable, as Patches was mad enough to do almost anything.
"Zixoc is sending an army of spiders to the town of Red River." The ragdoll explained as it swung back and forth on the rope playfully. "It will take some time for them to reach the town, but they'll kill everything in their path."
"That hot-blooded fool…" Demogath muttered to itself angrily. He pounded one of his claws on the dungeon floor, cracking it. "He is drawing unnecessary attention to the Council."
"You know Zixxy never listens!" Patches laughed, swinging with even more force. "The other Night Elves won't follow his lead, though; you know how unpopular the Swampdevil clan is!"
"I do not care if the Night Elves decide to play 'Follow the Leader'." Demogath said as Patches swinging slowed to a halt. "After the attack, I will send out my Shadow to summons the others for a meeting. We will discuss it then."
Patches opened its mouth, revealing a long, snake-like tongue that licked at the air before pulling back into his mouth. "Right, right, right!" He said in an almost sing-song voice. "Oh, the whole gang back together again, Demogath! Imagine it! We'll drink wine and sing songs of old!"
Demogath let out a snort at Patches' mad sayings. "Return to your domain, Patches. I may need you to prepare your chamber for another test subject."
Patches giggled joyfully before crawling back up the rope. Demogath closed his eyes sleepily as the bizarre being lifted the rope back up.
Author's Notes: We meet two of the story's villains, Patches and Demogath! Yes, I named a villain Patches! If you want to complain, I'll be too busy playing Brawl to hear you.
If you have any ideas, feel free to let me know; you know, like creatures that could appear or things that could happen.
Next Time: Reunited and It Feels So Good