A/N Thank you again to my wonderful Beta Malpal

Chapter 2

The hospital

River stalked the halls of the Alliance as the staff worked hard to patch up her crew. River reached out with her mind to make sure her family was okay. The first mind she felt was Zoe. River's heart broke as she was swept away in the pain of Zoe's emotions. She felt as if a dagger was sticking through her chest. She felt the empty hole that was where Wash had once been. But she felt something else, a spark that was full of light and pure. She saw in her mind's eye a baby with mocha colored skin, blonde curly hair, and bright blue eyes. The only problem was that the baby had not revealed itself as a boy or girl. Either way Zoe would heal and this child would bring love back to the warrior woman's shattered heart.

She had opened her mind up a little further and felt worry, anxiety, fear, concern, and love that had once been buried but was now being unearthed. Inara's thoughts became her own, and while she was only bruised, her mind was cut open with fresh wounds. The Alliance was not what she thought it had been. It was just a way to control everyone, fix things that didn't need to be fixed. The man she had left might not make it out of surgery and she had never even told him she loved him. She thought to bury her feelings when she went back to the training house, but now the thought of him never waking up or even becoming blind due to the fight with the Operative rupturing his retina, was enough to make her heartsick. Could she face the possibility of losing him; and if he survived could she open her heart to actually love him?

Next she reached out to Kaylee and found what she expected….sunshine. It was how the young engineer always felt. However, at the moment, the sun that was normally shining in Kaylee was shadowed by a cloud. The hurt of losing Wash and Book filled her mind, but also the love that Simon had finally offered was there also. She would heal and be happy. Nothing could keep Kaylee down long, River thought as she smiled to herself.

Simon and Mal were the hardest to get a feel for because they were under the effects of drugs from their surgeries. She felt their sleep trying to take over her mind. Simon would have to be drugged for a longer period than Mal; in fact she had almost lost her brother during his surgery. She felt him getting stronger, but the damage was done. Simon's rose colored glasses that he had seen the world through had finally been ripped off, and now the world he saw was a much colder place. Despite feeling the effects of the drugs Mal felt like he had finally done the right thing and achieved a victory for the Browncoats. He felt the loss of his crew and the longing to be in the black, even under drugs Mal was always Mal, but there was a new spark there, something that River could not quite put her finger to.

With her mind being opened she suddenly felt a strong prescence and the smell of gun oil pricked her nose. Jayne was awake and he was pissed. No one would tell him anything of the crew and he wanted to know how they were. River drifted toward his room.

"Gorramit you had better start telling me 'bout my crew and their conditions and where in the hell is that moon brained girl?"
She walked in and he grimaced at her painfully. "You look like hell Moonbrain." He said as he winced from the pain in his shoulder.

"I've been through hell." She replied with a small smile. She turned to the nurse and dismissed the woman.

"How's the crew?" he asked as he sat forward a little wincing as he pulled his stitches.

"Zoe is all hollow and full of hurt. Her wings have been clipped but soon she will soar. Kaylee is well…. Kaylee is full of sunshine; it's just not as bright. The loss makes a cloud in her heart. Inara will be fine. Hope in the people she supported in government has been crushed. Simon and Mal they were touch and go, but they are strong in the head." She looked down and let her hair fall forward in her face.

"Everyone's fine then?" Jayne asked in confusion, not sure he understood all that came out of her mouth.

"Yes the wolf has protected his pack," she answered sheepishly.

"Normal people talk please River, my head hurts." He stated as he looked at her as if he was seeing her for the first time.

"You did fine, you allowed the doctors to fix your crew."

"Only cause you made me Moonbrain." He said with a little…she wasn't sure if it was fear or shame that dripped from his voice. River shivered from the chill in the air. Jayne noticed and gave her a look of concern. "Girl you cold?" She nodded slowly finally looking at the man's face. "Why don't ya clean up and get out of those blood sucked clothes."

"I can't get on Serenity. The Alliance has it locked down until the Captain wakes up. They won't even let me get to Wash's body to take care of him."

"Moony ya don't need ta take care of Wash, till ya have someone with ya." He stated he could see the hurt and compassion in her eyes, no little girl should have to take care of the body of someone they loved. Jayne knew this because he had had to do it in the past. Jayne yelled for a nurse who River had dismissed earlier. A woman wearing all white entered the room. "Get this here girl some clothes and somethin' to cover up with."

"Yes Mr. Cobb." About ten minutes later the nurse reentered with a pair of scrubs for River to put on.

River went into the bathroom and started the hot water, she stepped in and the water scalded her skin it felt good….it felt real. She let the water run over her as she scrubbed the blood of the Reavers that was caked on her skin and in her hair. She felt her own mind for the first time in a long time. It was so broken but with the dark memory purged it would begin to heal. She cried and they were her own tears, not memories and feelings belonging to someone else. She cried for the abuse the Alliance had put her mind and body through, things she had not even told Simon had been done to her. She cried for the lives lost on Haven, for the man that was pinned to his pilot's chair, the man that would never see the child he had given his wife as a parting gift. She cried for all the things she could not change, like the lives she had taken on Beumonde, and the men that had become things that most people could not even dream in their worst of night terrors. The water ran cold and she stepped out and dried off and slipped into scrubs the nurse had brought her and wrapped herself in the blanket and walked back into Jayne's room.
2 days ago

There, she was met with the most wonderful smell. It had been so long since her mouth watered from something as simple as a scent.

"Thought you might be hungry Moonbrain. Had em bring ya a plate." Jayne stated as he pushed the tray toward the girl. He gave her a look that was a mix of unknowing and confidence.

She opened her tray and was met with the sight of grilled chicken rubbed in rosemary, sweet corn, mashed potatoes and a slice of real apple pie, her favorite. She took a bite of the chicken and closed her eyes it was the most delicious thing she had ate in what felt like years.

"You like it Moonbrain?" Jayne asked almost shyly. He would never tell but he had ordered her tray special.

"Yes it is wonderful, better than protein mash." She answered biting her bottom lip nervously.

"Got to agree with ya there." Jayne remarked with a small smile. River felt guilt echo through her mind and it was coming from the man in the hospital bed setting next to her.

"Jayne I am going to try and control my reading ablities but you can't scream inside my head. I've already told you Ariel was a lifetime ago. All is forgiven." She said in a voice that was much older than her years.

"I almost let them bluehanded fellas take ya back River and that ain't right. Tried to kick ya off the ship again when you hurt them folk back at the Maidenhead, cause you weren't right probably never be right in the brain pan, that ain't your fault or nothin . Ain't ever treated ya like crew Moonbrain." He said with guilt dripping from his voice.

"Well, start now. I forgive you. Money was not the most important thing on Ariel. I was a hand grenade with the pin pulled, and to be fair I started it because I thought red suited you better and I still think you look better in it." She said with a smirk on her little pink lips.

"Let's make a truce of sorts, no cuttin Jayne open with butcher knives and I'll treat ya like crew." Jayne replied with a genuine smile.

"Deal." River looked at him and stuck her tongue out at him. They sat in comfortable silence as they ate the rest of their meal. A truce had been made and a friendship began to grow.