Thank you so much for the reviews! I'll try and update once or twice a week, I'm working on two fanfictions right now, so I will be rotating on which one I update, I promise I will continue though. Enjoy!
I don't have a chance to process what has just happened as the door opens and once again it's not a peacekeeper, this time it's the mayor's daughter, Madge. She looks about as confused as I feel. She looks at my face and her expression immediately changes to urgency. She pulls out the mockingjay pin and tells me to wear it as my token from District 12, of course I agree, though I'm not entirely sure why. She's about to walk out the door, but she stops and turns back to me with the same expression she entered with.
"Was that Peeta Mellark I saw walking out of here before me?" She begins to walk towards me, obviously wanting to know if there's anything going on.
"Yeah," I say sitting down and she sits down next to me.
"I didn't even know you knew him," Madge isn't much of the gossiping type, but I know I'm one of her only good friends and she likes to know what's going on in my life.
"I really don't," I admit to her "He helped me out once a long time ago and apparently he remembers that, and did it as more than just a good deed."
"You must have made quite the impression on him," Madge smiles at something and I give her a questioning look. "He looked as if somebody had just torn his heart out as he walked out of this room, I'm sure it was more than just a good deed." As she says this, the door opens and a peacekeeper rushes Madge out the door. She whispered good luck as she was pulled out the door and I sat waiting, knowing surely that the next time the door would open, it would not be another friendly face.
I'm alone on the way to the train station and I make sure to keep my face free of tears and any other emotion. I push away everything that happened in the Justice Building, knowing that whatever just happened doesn't mean a thing because I'll never be back. That's when I realize I may have just made a huge mistake. Peeta obviously had some sort of attachment to me, and I kissed him. I just meant it as a thank you for everything he had done for me and my family but what if he took it as more? What if he thinks he has a chance with me? Even if I felt that way back, there's no point in him getting caught up on a girl who is walking to her death.
I'm shaken from my thoughts as I'm ushered to the train station. Finally I see Gale again, and his face is stern and clear of tears just as mine is. We meet each-other in the middle, knowing all cameras are on us. He reaches out for my hand and I let him take it. We stand there solemnly until the cameras have died down, and then we are led to the train where we will be transported to the Capitol. I am taken aback by the beauty of everything on the train. I look at Gale's face and I can tell he is also.
Effie shows us to our rooms and tells us she will come get us when dinner is ready. I close the door and look around the room. Even though it's on a train this room is still bigger than the largest room in my house. I have my own bathroom, and a shower. I've never taken a shower before, and I'm not exactly sure how it works, I'll figure it out later. I open the drawers and see that even though I've had nothing packed and sent here, my drawers are full of clothes that I never dreamed I'd be able to wear.
There's a light knock on the door and it opens slowly and Gale walks in. We walk straight into each others arms and hug even tighter than we had on the stage at the reaping. At last I allow the tears to roll down my face, and I feel Gale's body shaking against mine, and I know he's crying as well. I don't know how long we stand there, a couple minutes, a couple hours, all I know is it ends too soon as there's a knock on the door and Effie's chirping voice calling me to dinner. I pull away from Gale and look up at him, really looking at him for the first time since his name was called. His face is pale and worried; it looks as if he's aged five years since the reaping. He wipes the tears from my face and puts his forehead against mine.
"One of us will make it back Katniss, I promise you," With that he walks out of my room and leaves me there staring after him. I go into the bathroom and turn on the sink facet, I rinse my face free of all salty tears and pat it dry with a towel. I return to the drawers and grab the first pair of pants and a shirt I can find and change out of my reaping day dress. I try to ignore what Gale said about one of us returning, while I like the thought of returning, it's the number that makes me nauseous.
The food we eat at dinner is the most delicious I've ever tasted. I eat as much as I can fit in my stomach, which is a great deal. I need to start thinking about strategy and knowing that every girl around my age from the other districts is probably at least 40 pounds bigger than me; I need to eat a lot. The fullness I feel is overwhelming, a feeling I've never felt before. I feel sick, but in a surprisingly good way.
After dinner is over, we all walk into a room to watch the reaping from the other districts to size up out competitors. As soon as the tributes from districts one walk onto the stage, I grab Gale's hand tightly, knowing I am no match for the girl and that he is no match for the guy. The same happens for district two, and district four. The careers are always big and very skilled, but this year, maybe just because I know I'll be up against them, they look a whole lot stronger than usual. There are a few tributes who I can tell are in the same boat as me and Gale, very little training and very poor nutrition. I watch as a small girl, around Prim's age walks up as tribute for District 11. My heart stops as I wait for someone to volunteer for her, nobody does. Before I know it I see myself on screen volunteering for Prim, and then holding Gale on stage and then being dragged away. And now here I am, staring blankly at the screen trying to make sense of everything when I hear a noise at the door.
Haymitch comes in complaining about dinner being over, as he vomits all over the carpet. Effie makes some snide remark about how lucky we are to have him as our mentor and leaves us alone with him. "Shall I go get someone from the Capitol to help clean this up?" I ask Gale as Haymitch begins to stir and he leans down to help him up.
"I think that would be best, I'll carry him back to his room and they can take care of the rest," I walk quickly down the halls to find a Capitol attendant. I come across a blonde male, around the age of 25 and I tell him what happened and I ask if he can help. He doesn't say a word, just nods and head in the direction of the incident. I walk back to my room and sit on my bed, waiting for Gale to come see me. He doesn't fail, he knocks lightly and walks into my room again and sits down on the bed next to me.
"How do you feel?" He asks me.
"Well a little nauseous, they I'm not sure if it's from all the food I ate or at the sight of our mentor in his natural habitat," this makes Gale laugh, and for the first time all day, I smile as well. I want to enjoy my last few days with Gale, my best friend. I don't want to survive this and have to remember for the rest of my life that I spent my last few good days weeping in self-pity instead of enjoying them with my best friend. I'm sure he wouldn't want that if the situation is reversed either.
"If there's anyone I could spend my last few days of life with, I'm glad it's going to be you Katniss," Gale puts his arm around my shoulders as he says this and I lean my head on his shoulder.
"Don't talk like that Gale, you could make it out of this alive," while this is a long shot, Gale is pretty great with snares and knives, he could kill easily and stay fed throughout the games.
"Not if it means that you'd die," even though he whispers this sentence I can still here his voice catch in his throat. I pull back from him and look him dead in the eyes.
"Gale Hawthorne, we are not going to spend our last few days together mourning over our potential and probable deaths!" I scold him.
"Well, I see how optimistic you are," Gale catches on and we both laugh. The thought of how calm we are right now, how I know that one or both of us will be dead within two weeks unnerves me even more. I push the thoughts out of my mind, and focus on one thing: Gale.
"So remind me again, why didn't we run away this morning?" I ask him, thinking back to our morning hunt, which seemed as if it was weeks ago.
"Oh let me see… I think you rejected that idea right as it came out of my mouth," he smiles at me. "Regretting it yet?"
"Oh no, not at all," I smile at him "I mean, the capitol would have found us and killed us when they didn't see us at the reaping, I'd much rather be a fun part of the Capitols entertainment for a few weeks!" He squeezes my shoulder and grimaces at the sarcasm in my voice.
"We just need to go into the game as hunting partners, just this time, with large, strong, vicious animals that are fighting us back," I nod at him.
"Partners?" I ask him.
"Until the end." He whispers back and I wrap my arms around him. I don't want to think of what he actually meant by those words. I can't imagine ever being able to kill Gale, but I don't know if he could kill me if it was his life and his family that depended on it. His mother needs him, and he knows that. Maybe that's just enough that he could kill me in the end if it was left to it. Though as I think about it, maybe that's how it should be, how it would be best. I know he would take care of my mother and Prim and that he'd be strong enough to get through it. If I went back to the District without him, I might be as useless as my mother was when my father died. I shake these thoughts from my head and try to think of something else to say to Gale.
"Favorite thing you ate today?" I ask. He takes a second to respond.
"I honestly don't think I even tasted anything, I was eating so fast," That was probably very true. He was shoveling food in his mouth even faster than I was. We lay down with his arm still around my shoulders, staring at the ceiling. "Are you worried about you mother?"
"No," I say honestly "I made her promise me she wouldn't abandon Prim this time, because I won't be there to fix things. I also made arrangements so that if something does happen, I trust that Prim will be alright." As soon as the last sentence comes out of my mouth, I wish I hadn't of said it.
"Who did you make arrangements with?" How am I supposed to explain to Gale about my conversation with Peeta, it doesn't even make sense to me.
"Madge, she came to see me before we left and gave me this pin," I show him the mockingjay on my nightstand. "She's the closest thing I have besides for you, and I needed somebody I could count on." Why am I lying to him? I don't have anything to be hiding, all I did was talk to Peeta, and ask him for help, and kiss him. That's where the problem is. Here I am lying in a bed with Gale, thinking about how not even a few hours ago I had given my first kiss to a boy I've never even talked to before. That's something I could never tell Gale, and from the way things look right now, I don't think he'll ever have to know.
"I'm sure she'll stick to her promise," Gale breathes deeply and I close my eyes and listen to his heartbeat. But the only thing I can think of right now, is not Madge, is not Peeta, not my mother, or even Prim. The only thought going through my mind is of what Gale said only minutes ago, Until The End.