I edited this chapter a bit to incorporate some viewer feedback re Tailmon's characterization and to flesh out the characters' thought processes a bit more. The plot is otherwise unchanged.

Late Winter

Her

What had intended to be a one-night stay has turned, so far, into a two-week stay. Miyako and Ken have a mansion, courtesy of the startup they ran during college before selling it two years ago for a huge sum. One occupied guest room out of five total guest rooms doesn't bother them.

"Stay as long as you want!" Miyako said generously, and Hikari knew that she was hoping that she will soon settle the matter with Takeru, whatever it is.

Which is basically what everyone else is clearly hoping for as well. It's just a rough patch that will soon pass, is the general consensus. However, in Hikari's mind the separation is permanent. She has been poring through apartment listings in her free time, looking for a new place to live.

Hikari sighs as she flips through the channels, finding nothing but imported soaps and inane game shows. Between Miyako and Ken, there is enough technical aptitude to build a super computer, so it really comes as no surprise that the television is so completely reprogrammed that the channel listing bears no resemblance to any others in Japan. Still, couldn't they have left a few enjoyable stations for their helpful babysitter? Maybe figure skating?

Hikari settles for a foreign cartoon and leans back against the couch, little Momoko comfortably settled on her lap. "Another night with your favorite auntie," she tells her companion, eliciting a giggle. At least Miyako and Ken are getting a free babysitter out of the ordeal, and the couple are really milking it for all its worth. Hikari cannot help feeling jealous whenever she sees the couple dressed up, about to dine at yet another fancy restaurant.

One of Yamato's old hits suddenly starts playing, a heavy rock number. Her cell phone is ringing, startling the toddler.

"Momo, sweetie, it's okay," she coos, stroking the little girl's back with one hand as she reaches for the cell phone in the other. When the girl stops crying and focuses on the tomatoes flying onscreen, she says, "Hello?"

"Hikari!"

She almost drops the phone. It is Taichi. If she had bothered to check caller ID, she would not have answered. "Um hi, big brother," she says. "I'm a bit busy right now."

"If I can spare a minute in my busy day for you, you can do the same for me," Taichi says, leaving no room for argument. Then he cuts straight to the chase. "What on earth were you and Takeru thinking?"

"What do you mean?" Hikari says, playing dumb. She should have known that news would travel across the Pacific Ocean, even if Taichi is on one of his diplomatic trips.

"It's not exactly a secret anymore," Taichi says, "and I don't appreciate being the last person to find out."

"You were on a trip," Hikari says defensively, while trying to figure out who the informant had been. Probably Sora or Mimi. "I didn't want to distract you from your job."

"Being your brother is also a job," he retorts, bringing a reluctant smile to her face. "So, explain. You moved out and want a divorce?"

"I'm thinking of getting a divorce, but nothing's set."

"And you were going to tell me…when?"

"Not ever, because I knew that this is the way you would react," Hikari says. "Mom and Dad took it a lot better." Of course, she had only told her parents that she needed space for a little bit. Susumu and Yuuko Yagami generally waste more time worrying about Taichi and his endless string of casual girlfriends.

"Hikari, right now you are overreacting!" says Taichi. "What on earth happened?"

"Big brother…" She sighs, running a hand through her hair. It has been taxing enough on her sanity explaining to everyone on this side of the world. "It's not that simple. What if I tell you that Takeru doesn't love me?"

She hears a snort on the other side of the phone. "Takeru loves you," says her brother. "Try harder."

"Maybe it's not the right type of love," says Hikari, wondering if she'd be able to articulate this better had she been the Chosen Child of Love, or had Takeru's talent with words. "Maybe it had been friendship all along. Takeru and I have never dated anyone else. Everyone just assumed that we'd end up together and we did. How would we even know the difference?"

Taichi isn't appreciative of her attempt at an explanation. "Did Miyako get you into trashy romance novels, or what? Does the guy need to ride a white horse to capture your heart? Oh wait, does Pegasusmon count?"

Hikari groans, not appreciating her brother's sarcasm. Her brain races and eventually finds another point to attack. "Big brother, do you remember how you and Sora both made Takeru promise to take care of me?"

"Sure," he says, after a moment's hesitation. "Why?"

"Maybe he took it a lot more seriously than the two of you expected," she says. "I don't want him to stay with me because he feels obligated to take care of me, because he isn't. I want him to be with me because he wants to, and…and I don't think he does."

"First of all," Taichi says, though he sounds less belligerent, "I think you're wrong. And second of all, even assuming you're right, is a divorce really the best way to find out?"

It makes sense to her. She loves him enough to let him go find his happiness. Love is about letting go, right? Why doesn't it make sense to anyone else?

"Are you mad at me?" Hikari asks softly. Even after all these years, Taichi's opinion matters to her more than anyone else's.

Her brother's tone softens, as it inevitably does when she is vulnerable. "I'm not mad at you, Hikari," he says. "I just don't want you to make a big mistake."

It isn't as if she hasn't worried about that herself. She wishes that she were eight years old again, because surely facing Vandemon again would be easier than figuring this mess out. Divorce is the most permanent form of letting go she could think of, a decision that generally precludes reconciliation, for better or worse. "Nothing is final yet," she says eventually, using the same words she'd used on Takeru. "I'm still…thinking."

"Okay." Taichi knows that this is the best she could give him. "How are other things? Are you staying with Miyako right now?"

"Yeah, they have five guest rooms and now they have a free baby sitter too," Hikari says with a hollow laugh.

"And work and everything else?"

"Work is good and everything else…all right," Hikari says. Everything else used to mostly consist of spending time with Takeru. She tries not to think of the empty days awaiting her. "Oh, by the way, big brother…will you be at Sora and Yamato's anniversary dinner next month?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Only if you won't be too busy," she says, though she was already rendered vulnerable by the prospect of running into Takeru again

"Then I will see you there," Taichi says firmly. "Meeting's coming up so I must run now. Take care of yourself, all right? If anything comes up, call me. Promise?"

"Promise," Hikari says, still holding the phone after he has hung up. "I promise."

Him

Takeru is staring out the window, counting the number of birds flying past the tall office building. He envies their carefree flight, for he feels completely weighed down. His head is heavy from the past two weeks of sleeplessness and concentration at work has become all but impossible. He has yet to give up on the chance, no matter how small, that Hikari would call to tell him that she is coming home.

Ichiro Suzuki, a stout man in his early forties, clears his throat and Takeru turns immediately. Usually he would be trembling with nervousness as he waits for his copy editor's feedback, but he doesn't mind the anticipation today. It takes his mind off all the things that are currently wrong with his life.

"Well, Takaishi," he says. "It's a good start."

A good start? With dismay Takeru stares at the thick stack of pages, the product of years of effort. "I'm afraid I don't understand," he says. "This is meant to be a full draft."

Suzuki nods. "I understand that," he says. "In general, I really like your writing. You have a unique eye and ear for nuances behind words. And the idea for your story has a lot of potential. Certainly very few other writers, if any, can write a convincing account of a Digimon adventure."

Takeru watches him carefully, knowing a but of sorts is coming.

"Unfortunately," Ichiro continues, "your manuscript is not publishable in his current state. It simply will not be successful as is, and will require much revision."

It simply will not be successful. The words are mocking in their finality. For a wild moment, Takeru wants to run to the window and scream to the world, what else can go wrong? He controls the impulse and asks quietly, "How should I improve the manuscript?"

The editor hesitates before speaking, choosing his words carefully. "You must understand that this is not a bad story," he says. "The plot is intricately constructed and the adventures that you and your friends have in the Digital World come vividly to life. It's not a bad story," he says again, "but it can be much better."

Yes, you've established that several times. Takeru tries not to be frustrated. As usual, Suzuki takes forever to get to the point.

"How?" he repeats.

"Let me give you an example." The older man selects a passage. "At that moment," he starts to read, "I felt a strange power overwhelm me. I looked down at my Digivice and saw that it was glowing in a way it had never glowed before. It was glowing in the way that the other children's Digivices glowed just before their Digimon evolved. So I held up my Digivice. There was a flash of blinding yellow light, a burst of energy, and Patamon stood before me, except he was now Angemon, an angel Digimon with six magnificent wings holding a golden staff."

Takeru stares at him questioningly.

"The thing is," the editor says, putting the pages down, "you don't give the reader an insight into what you are thinking about at that crucial moment. Are you excited that Patamon Digivolved? Are you angry, worried, proud? Surely you felt a strong emotion then. What is it? It is your story, Takeru, yet you sound so detached that it seems as if you are telling someone else's, a stranger's."

"I was trying to be objective as a narrator."

"If you are trying to be objective, don't tell the story in first person," Suzuki says, "and if you don't tell the story in first person, the story loses a lot of emotional impact. If you are not personally engaged in the story, a story composed of your memories, how can you expect your readers to be engaged?"

Takeru bites his lips. The editor is right. Writing what essentially amounts to a memoir is different from writing the short stories that first earned him Suzuki's favor.

"To be a good writer," the editor continues, collecting the pages and replacing them before Takeru, "you need to be able to face yourself, face your past and flaws completely, and open your heart to your readers. If you want someone to care, you cannot keep your true self under wrap. Do you see what I mean?"

You push me away, you keep me at a distance, Takeru remembers Hikari's words from that painful night. Was that what she meant?

"Yes," he answers eventually. "I do."

Ichiro Suzuki smiles encouragingly. "During our partnership we have yet to produce anything less than stellar, and I am sure that this book will be a turning point in your career," he says. "Do you understand what you need to do to bring out your story's full potential?"

Takeru nods. Surprisingly, he does.

Her

It's the last apartment she is visiting today. Hikari waits breathlessly as the real estate agent unlocks the door. Perched on her shoulder, Tailmon rolls her eyes and twitches her tail irritably. After Hikari explained about the divorce to her and Patamon, Tailmon was so angry that she disappeared into the Digital World for days. Fortunately, she has forgiven Hikari enough to come back, citing her responsibility to accompany Hikari on her apartment hunting trips as the ostensible reason.

For that Hikari is grateful. At work, she can forget that anything is wrong when she is surrounded by a roomful of bright-eyed kindergartners, but reality always strikes at the end of the day. Despite Miyako and Ken's kindness, and despite Momoko's cuteness, she is lonely in a mansion that doesn't belong to her. She is lonely without Takeru.

"We're done after this," she tells Tailmon. "Then we can grab sushi, okay?"

Sushi is a special treat and, today, a peace offering. Tailmon sighs, a reminder that Hikari is not fully forgiven.. "All right, but let's not take too long."

"Well, here we are!" Kayo Ono says brightly, pushing open the door and leading Hikari inside.

The apartment is small, the smallest one Hikari has visited so far. The wallpaper is peeling and there is no distinction between the living room and the kitchen. The wooden floor is tarnished with wear. The single bedroom is smaller than Miyako's walk-in closet, barely large enough to fit a bed.

"This one comes with a gas stove and a pretty new kerosene heater," Kayo says. "No air conditioner, unfortunately, though electric fans would work just as well."

Hikari nods, not knowing what else to say. The only positive aspects of the apartment, as far as she could tell, are the balcony and the large windows.

"It's also a very good price," Kayo continues. "You definitely won't find a better deal in this market."

"Right, thank you," says Hikari. "That's very important. Do you think I could step out and take a look at the balcony?"

The agent smiles. "Please do."

Hikari steps out onto the balcony and slides the screen door shut behind her. The view, at least, is not too bad. The building overlooks a small park with a couple of swings. She could also tell that the balcony would get plenty of sunlight during the summer, which is a plus for her feline partner.

"So," she says, turning to Tailmon, "what do you think?"

"I think you can do better," she says, twitching her tail in place of a shrug. Then again, she has been saying that for every apartment, even the ones too fancy for Hikari to afford. Her sharp eyes can always pick out something that is wrong. The sink is leaky, the water pressure in the shower is too low, the balcony is too narrow.

Hikari gives Tailmon a look of exasperation. "I need a place to live," she reminds her Digimon quietly.

"And you have a place to live," counters Tailmon.

She turns away. "I don't want to get into this now," she says. "I just don't want to impose myself on Miyako and Ken any longer."

"You don't have to go through with the divorce, you know."

Hikari blinks rapidly. It isn't the first time that this particular thought has crossed her mind. She doesn't have to go through with the divorce. She could just dismiss the real estate agent and go back home to Takeru, back into the embrace she misses so desperately. But there is no turning back now. There is too much pain and uncertainty and, most of all, fear. She has gone too far, has already hurt Takeru and everyone else too much.

"I think I do, Tailmon."

Her partner turns and fixes a blue gaze on the park below. "If this is really what you want, Hikari," she says. "But I think you are wrong."

Hikari nods. "Well, in any case," she says. "I will take the apartment."

Later, after the paper work has been signed and the deposit has been paid, after Tailmon has her promised meal of sushi, Hikari returns to Miyako and Ken's house. It is empty and quiet. The family has yet to return from the zoo. Hikari heads into the guest room and starts packing, even though the actual move-in date would not be for another week. It doesn't take long before she realizes that a trip back to the old apartment is unavoidable. She only brought a small suitcase with her the night she left, and now that she has a place to live, she needs to get the rest of her stuff.

On the bright side, she could see whether Takeru has changed his mind about the divorce. The last she heard, he is still against the whole idea, though she hasn't stopped hoping that they could settle it at the ward office. She even has the forms prepared.

She picks up her phone to call him. His number is still registered on speed dial. Minutes pass and she cannot bring herself to press the button. She longs for the sound of his voice, the tenor of his laugh, and yet she does not want to talk to him.

"Hikari." Tailmon interjects. She jumps, not realizing her Digimon has been watching the entire time. "It's just a phone call. You will be fine."

No, it is so much more than a phone call. Hikari puts away the phone. "You know what, he's probably busy right now," she says. "I'll just text him."

"It's eight o'clock at night," Tailmon says. "And he's never too busy for your call. Don't be a coward also!"

A coward also? What else has Tailmon labeled her as?

Hikari ignores her partner as she pulls up the screen to compose a new text message. Her fingers don't feel as if they belong to her as they float over the keyboard and she lingers too long over punctuation, though she eventually manages to compose a coherent message.

Takeru, she writes, I hope everything is well. I found a new apartment, so I was wondering if I could drop by sometime to pick up my stuff. Also maybe we could talk? Does the Shiki near your office work? Thanks. Hikari.

She presses send just as Tailmon lets out a soft sigh. Yes, the sigh seems to acknowledge, Hikari Yagami is a coward. A coward and a heartless bitch.

Him

When his cell phone shows a new message from Hikari, Takeru's hope soars, though it is promptly pummeled by reality. Before, he could almost convince himself that Hikari just needs a break and will be back once she figures things out. Now he knows that she is serious about the divorce. =

He doesn't write back immediately. Instead he calls Yamato, who sounds annoyed at being interrupted in the middle of music practice. Since he began his astronaut training, time for just music has been difficult to come by.

"If you want to whine, call back in an hour," he snaps, one hand idly strumming his guitar. When Takeru hesitates, he says, "Okay, what?"

"Hikari emailed," says Takeru. "She wants to meet up."

Yamato waits, sensing that more is yet to come.

"She's already found a new apartment," he says. "She wants to get the rest of her stuff…and I think she's going to bring up the divorce again."

"Well, you don't have to go," says Yamato. "She's not forcing you to do anything."

Takeru runs an agitated hand through his hair. "I can't sit on this forever, big brother," he says. "If this is what she wants…do I have the right to stop her?"

"Look," says Yamato, sounding very serious. "I honestly don't understand what happened between you two, except it's obvious you two have been terrible at working out your issues. There's something called…communication?"

"Yamato…" Takeru says. He doesn't need this now.

"Anyway. Meeting up might actually be a good thing so you can talk things out." He pauses to underline the significance of his next words. "Don't make the same mistake as Dad did."

Don't make the same mistake as Dad did. The words are still echoing in his mind as he takes a seat across from Hikari in the small café they used to frequent. There is already a pot of jasmine tea on the table, their mutual favorite. He pretends to be interested in the teacup before he works up enough courage to look at her.

She still looks the same, which shouldn't surprise him, except it does. She also looks extremely nervous, reminding him of the night when they first kissed. They had been sixteen, their mutual anticipation so thick that he was almost surprised not to be disappointed when their lips met.

He tries and fails to think of something to start the conversation. He and Hikari never needed to make awkward small talk until now.

It is Hikari who takes the plunge. "I found an apartment," she says, as if she hadn't already said so in her text message.

"Yeah, congratulations," he says, then immediately feels ridiculous.

She twirls her teacup, eyes lowered. "So I was wondering…if I could come pick up the rest of my stuff sometime."

"Your key still works, you know."

Hikari flushes and he immediately wishes that he could take his words back. He meant it to be lighthearted, but obviously it doesn't quite come out that way.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I just don't want to intrude at a bad time. I know you're busy with your manuscript."

Takeru clenches his hands around his teacup. Already she is acting like an outsider, like the apartment had never belonged to her, like she isn't more important to him than his job. "I want you to come," he wants to say, but instead he gives her a tight smile. "You can come by today, if you want. Or whenever, just let me know."

"I don't have my car, so it has to be another time," she says. She fiddles with the wedding band that she is still wearing. He waits, breath bated. "Have you given more thought to the divorce?"

Has he? Takeru almost laughs. Has he thought about anything else in the past few hours? The past few weeks? He looks into her brown eyes and asks quietly, "Do you still want to go through with it?"

For a moment, her face crumples. Alarmed, he starts to get up, because he hates seeing her cry. Hikari collects herself, however, and nods into her teacup.

"I think we should."

He considers her words. Having known her for so long, he knows that Hikari has the same streak of Yagami stubbornness that Taichi displays in great abundance. And he knows that, if Hikari intends to go through with the divorce, his refusal would not mean anything. They would end up in family court, like the embittered couples on television that he never imagines they would become.

The answer is clear then. He is already losing her as his wife. He cannot lose her as his friend as well. If he has to repeat his father's mistake, then so be it. "Then let's do it," he says heavily, thinking, I'm sorry, Yamato.

He cannot read Hikari's expression as she reaches into her purse and pulls out a manila envelope. She withdraws the divorce papers, which she must have brought with her for this very purpose. His throat suddenly feels very dry as she pushes the sheets towards him.

"I just need your seal," she says, almost in a whisper. "I will probably go down to the ward office on Monday and then…"

Then we will be through.

Takeru wishes he could lie and tell her that he doesn't have his hanko seal with him, except he does. She knows that he carries his seal with him for work purposes. He locates his seal and reaches for the papers. Then, hand half-raised, he glances at Hikari, who is looking at him expectantly.

"Will you be okay?" she asks.

As he stares into those soft brown eyes he fell in love with, he feels an unfamiliar yet liberating rage. He doesn't need her pity, her concern. He won't give her the assurance that everything will be all right, even though she has torn apart the family he had longed to build.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he says, setting his hanko seal down with a flourish.

When he finishes, he shoves the papers back and she takes them, putting them neatly in a manila envelope. And so they are divorced, he thinks, or they will be as soon as the city gets around to their paperwork. Then he notices that her eyes are oddly bright. He wonders if he missed yet another chance to explain.

"Hikari…"

"I'll see you at Yamato and Sora's?" she says, getting up and setting down a small stack of bills. And unspoken, I will probably avoid seeing you until then.

He exhales. "Yeah," he says. "See you then."

TBC