With Halloween coming up I wanted to get Daniel the cutest costume so after school one day. Alyssa and I picked up Daniel and we drove to the Halloween store and got him the cutest costume and he liked it too. He is going to be a chicken. He is so cute in it. We went home and I made supper while Daniel was banging loudly I must add on his high chair. He is so cute and I have found out he loves to color while he watches me cook and he already has his favorite foods. He loves macaroni and cheese and spegetti, but I make sure not to make them too often for I don't want that to be all Daniel eats. He is not a picky eater except for vegetables which I myself am not a big fan of vegetables, but I make them and eat them so Daniel will learn to like them. I gave Daniel his supper and tucked him in to bed after reading his favorite story, I see you. He is a good sleeper. He very rarely wakes up in the middle of the night although he wakes up at 5 every morning which is no problem because I need to get to school. One morning I came into his room and he was just standing up in the crib yelling mommy. Then I pick him up and he says.

"Where Aly?" he said. Aly is what he calls Alyssa and she thinks it is very cute. We have just recently taught him how to play patty cake and he is a pro. Hannah, his daycare provider says he is teaching some of the other little kids how to play it also. I have known Daniel for only 3 short weeks, but yet I now can't imagine my life with out him. Halloween is now 5 days away and our court date is 29 days. I am scared when the day comes that they will take Daniel away from me. I can't live without him. I already love him and I want to be his mom. Although I know I can't replace his real parents I want to help him to not have a life like mine. I know that if they don't let me keep him he will end up going from family to family his whole life until he becomes like me and runs away.

I took Daniel to the park the next day and he went straight for the slide as usually. I catch him down at the bottom and he runs back up and goes down again. I never get tired of seeing that great big smile and his face when I catch him in my arms. After he gets tired of the slide he wants to swing so he does that for a while and moves on to the sand box, dirt his favorite thing. I have discovered he likes trucks. So one day that Alyssa had to work I took Daniel to the toy store and we went right to the truck section and I said he could pick out one truck. He brought me dozens of trucks and he wanted them all, but I found one that was durable and I thought Daniel would like.

"Daniel, do you like this truck?" I asked.

"yay," Daniel says clapping his hands. We went home and I opened it up for him so he could play with it while I made supper.

"I'm home," Alyssa said.

"Good," I said.

"Aly look," Daniel says showing Alyssa his truck.

"And where did you get that Daniel."

"Mommy and me went to the toy store."

"Well it is very pretty."

He gave Alyssa a hug and I yelled that supper was ready.

We ate supper and played with Daniel a little bit longer before I had to put him to bed. The next day was Halloween and I was very excited to take Daniel trick or treating.

Daniel woke up the next morning the same time as usual and I went in and got him and said Happy Halloween. I then got him dressed, made breakfast and took him to daycare. I then went to school. After school I came and picked him up and we went home. I made an early supper and Alyssa came home early from work. We starting trick or treating a bit early, but I was really excited so we went for it. Daniel was shy at first, but he opened up by the end. We went home and he had a whole bucket full of candy. I said he could have one piece. After he went to bed Alyssa and I sorted through what he can and cannot have and then we went to bed. The next morning he wanted Candy for breakfast and I told him no. I kept asking, but I held my ground. Then when we got to Hannah's he asked her for a piece of candy too and she said no which lead to a great big melt down. I left feeling sorry for Hannah, but knowing I had to get to school. She told me when I came to pick him up that day that she did not give him any candy no matter how big the tantrum. I said my thanks for holding her ground just as I did mine. I gave him no candy that night for not being a good boy today for Hannah so he was mad at me when I put him to bed to say the least. The next morning he wouldn't let me take him out of his crib Alyssa had to do it. I thought he was taking it a bit far, but I didn't let a two year old getting mad at me get to me too much. I gave him his breakfast and took him to Hannah's. He had another melt down about candy. I couldn't believe it. I again gave him not candy. It took one whole week after Halloween of meltdowns and tantrums until he forgot about the candy. I was relieved and everything went back to normal routine or as normal as possible in this house. Alyssa was also glad it was over. Alyssa and I finished off his candy. He had only one piece of it, but while we were eating it we could only remember how much pain and suffering we had to go through for this candy. That was the worst I have ever seen of Daniel and I hope I don't see much worse of it.

The next week was an interesting week. This boy named Lewis asked me out on a date not knowing anything about me just knowing my name. He is in for a lot. We had dinner on a Friday night and I told him everything. When he brought me home he kissed me and asked me if I would go on another date with him. I accepted. I was shocked to say the most that after he knew everything about my past and my life now that he would want to go on another date. He also said that he would like to meet Daniel sometime soon. That was also a shock. After bringing Daniel home to Sam and Sam not wanting anything to do with him I didn't think I would ever meet another guy that might love Daniel as much as he loved me. I have to say though that I don't think Sam really cared about me. He just wanted to have sex and I suppose I didn't really love him either I just needed a place to stay.

I went on the date with Lewis the next week and the week after that. The next week was to be my court date with it nearing I was very scared. I don't want to lose Daniel and Alyssa doesn't want to either. The court date came all too fast it was here before I knew it and I went to court that day looking as professional as possible.

"Do you believe you can meet all of Daniel's needs all his life?" the judge askes.

"Yes I do your honor," I said.

"So you are saying that you can give him the same stuff as a 30 year old."

"Judge although I may be young don't doubt be I am mature beyond my age I had to be. I grew up always moving from family to family never have friends for long. I can give Daniel the same love and caring as a 30 year old."
"Good answer. Do you have a place to take him?'

"Yes I am living with my friend Alyssa."

"And you are sure she would never put you on the street."

"She never would do that."

"I believe I have made my decision it will be relayed to you soon."

I walked out of there believe they would let me keep Daniel. I would have to wait a week at least, but I had faith that the judge would take the decision in my honor. I came in and hugged Daniel and he showed me what him and Alyssa made while I was gone. I was happy to again be home and not in that dreadful courtroom. It feels so empty in there because it is full of heartless people. I have a heart and I have God helping me to take care of Daniel as best as I can.