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"Mommy, where do wizards come from?"

When an old man falls for an oafish half-giant.

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We are all familiar with the fact that Rubeus Hagrid highly respected Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, but how far did that respect go? Yes, we all have heard our favorite gamekeeper say, "Great man, Dumbledore, great man," in his gruff, husky voice.

But where would such admiration lead him?

Well, it led him to the headmaster's office (who Filch knew really was the master of head, but that's another chapter, and meant for another day.)

Hagrid clunked up the spiral staircase, pushed through the office door, and took in the sight of a glowing, handsome Albus.

"Yeh wanted to see me, headmaster?" he grumbled, averting his eyes from Albus's inhuman beauty. He had to look away for he knew that if he stared too long, he'd surely start drooling in arousal.

Albus Dumbledore looked up from his desk, where he had been crocheting a knit bikini for Fawkes the phoenix.

"Ah, Hagrid, please come in," pleaded Dumbledore, a lusty twinkle in his mischievous blue eyes.

Hagrid bounded forward, eyeing the knit bikini with longing. It really was a charming little garment.

"You see, Hagrid, yesterday was Fawkes's burning day, and now he is newly born again. He looks quite spiffy if I do say so myself. It was my plan to create a little outfit for him, to further accentuate his new and glorious figure. I've crocheted this bikini here, but I think the polka dots might be a bit much. I'd really like for someone to… model it for me."

Hagrid's breathing hitched in his throat.

What could the headmaster be implying?!

"I was, of course," began Dumbledore silkily, "going to ask Harry… but it appears that he is off gallivanting with young Mr. Weasley. A shame, you'd agree."

Hagrid grunted in response, very aware of the fact that his pants had tightened around his nether regions.

"I could easily enlarge the bikini with an engorgement charm…" purred Dumbledore throatily, lifting his right eyebrow up suggestively.

Hagrid was feeling very bold, empowered by his raging erection. "Maybe, I could…er…"

Dumbledore leaned forward in his chair. "Yes?"

"I could…. Model it for yeh."

After all, it was the least Hagrid could do to help the man who had given him a job after he'd been expelled. Plus, Hagrid really, really wanted to take his clothes off in his presence.

Dumbledore rose from his chair, whipping out his wand. He whispered the incantation and the bikini swelled to thirty times its original size. Perfect for Hagrid.

The gamekeeper's blood was boiling in anticipation.

"Take off your clothes," commanded Dumbledore, with a ferocity Hagrid had never heard enter the headmaster's tone. Scrumptious! "I won't look," added Dumbledore quietly, "much."

Hagrid chuckled, very hot and bothered. He was sweating freely. He reached into his trench coat pocket and dabbed at his forehead with a soiled handkerchief. It was embroidered with the words, "I Love Old Men."

Dumbledore read this, and his pants started to feel a bit tight.

As Hagrid removed his coat and allowed it to drop to the floor around his ankles, the headmaster reached into his own pocket. Dumbledore pulled out a clean handkerchief emblazoned with the words, "I Love Half-Giants."

Hagrid, upon reading the wording, took off his clothes at a much brisker pace. Nothing could stop his raging erection now.

Hagrid was completely nude at this time, and was feeling very vulnerable. He had heard rumors about Dumbledore liking guys (Grindelwald, anyone?), but he'd never expected that he, Hagrid would have been the object of the headmaster's affections.

Dumbledore walked forward and offered him the polka dot bikini. Hagrid donned the bathing suit slowly, giving the old wizard quite a show.

Dumbledore's 'wand' was going haywire.

Now the suit was on. Hagrid and Dumbledore locked eyes, a fire burning between them.

"You look … ravishing," remarked the headmaster with a smirk.

A blush, mostly hidden by the wild tangles of his beard, crept up into Hagrid's cheeks. Him? Ravishing? Well, I never!

Dumbledore sauntered forward, sashaying his hips (one of which had been replace six years previous) and leaned in close to Hagrid, who was clad in the bikini.

The headmaster whispered one hurried word. "Wait."

He ran into his closet, shuffled through some clothes heaps, and unearthed a pair of stiletto heels. He put them on quickly, and stood once more.

"There. Now I can see you properly."

Hagrid was very excited by this turn of events, and it showed. In his bikini bottoms, if you know what I mean.

Dumbledore walked close. He embraced Hagrid, using his scruffy black beard as a makeshift pillow.

So erotic.

THE END.

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A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! Next chapter the couple is Ron/Snape, so we'll see how that'll turn out!

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