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"Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response." - Mildred Barthel
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Chapter 2
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After Jack had finished assigning duties to the team, Sam picked up the file to start her background search and stole a quick look at Martin. He had not been himself since Ruby died. Everyday she held out hope that he would return to the Martin she knew before but so far no luck. He just drew further and further into himself.
There hadn't been one dimple sighting in months.
Remembering her promise to Viv she walked over to where he stood. He was putting on his jacket and getting ready to head out with Danny to interview a possible witness. She caught his eye and said, "Hey."
With a serious expression on his face he replied, "Hi, what's up?"
"I was just wondering if you were going to Viv's tonight," she asked.
Viv had invited the whole team over for dinner claiming she missed the old team but also because she really wanted to talk to Martin. He had been avoiding her for the last two months and on the few occasions that he did see her, he did everything he could to not be alone in the same room with her. He would make brief, awkward conversation and look for any excuse to be somewhere else. Viv told Sam that she hoped if she invited everyone over them maybe Martin might be inclined to attend and she could talk to him.
"Yeah, I'm going," he said with the enthusiasm of someone on their way to get a root canal.
"Good." Sam tilted her head and gave him a small smile.
"Hey, man, you ready to go?" Danny asked from his desk. He already had his jacket on and started moving towards the elevator.
"I better get going," he said as he turned to grab a file from his desk. "See you tonight."
"Yeah, okay, bye," she replied as she watched him leave.
She wondered if the Martin with the easy smile and bright blue eyes would ever return because she missed him.
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Martin clicked off the blinker as soon as he passed the car on the highway. He shifted in his seat to get a little more comfortable and looked over at Danny who was staring out the window. He knew Danny wanted to say something because he kept glancing at him and opening his mouth to speak before he promptly shut it and returned his gaze out the window.
"Just say whatever it is you have to say already," Martin insisted. "You're making me crazy."
Danny bit his lip and then began, "I, uh, would you be my best man?"
"That's what you had to ask me? I thought you were going to spill some deep dark secret or something," he said sounding both frustrated and relieved.
"Why would you think that?" Danny asked, genuinely confused.
"I don't know; you were all twitchy and nervous. I didn't know what to think."
"Well, I just felt strange asking you, considering all that happened," he replied softly as he stared at the highway straight ahead.
Martin turned his focus back to the road and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. He hated that he was the guy who made everyone around him feel uncomfortable. But he also knew that he hadn't exactly been making it easy. He avoided talking about Ruby or anything else that was remotely personal. After his big sob fest with Danny he returned to that classic Fitzgerald method of dealing with grief by pretending it never happened.
However, he also made a deal with his dog to start working on being happy and everyone knows that any human/canine pacts are sacred. He shook his head and said, "I know you and Emma are getting married and I'm happy for you. I don't want you holding back on stuff because you think I can't handle it."
"Fine, I won't," Danny replied.
He wasn't sure if his friend meant it or just said that to placate him. "I'm serious, Danny. Just treat me the way you always have. I'm sorry I've made you feel uncomfortable but I am working on it, okay."
He spotted their exit up ahead so he clicked on his blinker and moved the car towards the off ramp.
Danny turned to look at him and asked, "What are you doing?"
"What? This is our exit," he explained as he slowed the car down.
"You said you were working on it and I was wondering what you were doing."
"Oh," Martin said, not expecting Danny to ask such a personal question. Considering all they have been through together it wasn't out of line either. "I made an appointment to start seeing Lisa again."
Danny smiled and turned to look out the windshield again. "That's good. That's really good."
Martin just nodded his head and slowed to a stop behind a large truck. He looked at the bumper sticker that read 'SHIT HAPPENS.' He had always thought that to be a crude statement for a bumper sticker but considering all he had been through over the last few years it seemed incredibly apt.
He was still focused on the truck's bumper when Danny cleared his throat and said, "You still haven't answered my question."
"What? Oh, yeah, of course I'll be your best man," he replied. A little later added, "So, how many strippers do you want at your bachelor party?"
Danny just looked at him in shock before he started laughing. He looked so amused that it almost made Martin laugh, too.
Almost.
