It was an unusually bright and sunny day in Edge, and Tifa was shuffling about the kitchen area, following her normal routine: wake up at 6:00 am sharp, promptly shower and get dressed, and head downstairs to make breakfast for herself, Cloud, and the kids. It was a comfortable routine, albeit a little boring, but Tifa was thankful for the monotony that had slowly crept into her life. Moreover, she was thankful for constantly being kept busy. Yes, the daily tasks had become quite ordinary, consisting of running the bar, cleaning up, cooking, and taking care of the kids, but Tifa always had something to do. It kept her tired, and tired was a good thing. Tired kept her from thinking too much.

Two months had passed since Geostigma had been cured and Sephiroth had been defeated for good. Everything was finally beginning to settle down. People were picking up the pieces of their lives, grieving, and eventually, moving on. Homes were rebuilt, trade began to boom, and Cloud and Tifa had somehow settled into their comfortable little existence. Over the past two years, they had switched from fighting for their lives, and the life of the planet itself, to running a bar, delivering packages, and caring for two young children. It was all so… surreal. After all that had happened, this is what their lives were like now.

But despite the newfound comfort that had settled into her life, Tifa had found herself frequently haunted with the memories of their journey, still all-too fresh in her mind. In her quiet moments of reflection at night, lying alone in her room or waiting up for Cloud to return, she couldn't stop her mind from reeling. The moment she closed her eyes for even a second, painful images flashed through her mind. Fiery explosions from destroyed Mako reactors. Her comrades lying helplessly on the ground. Aerith's confused and pained expression as Sephiroth's sword took her life, blood pooling around her body. Floating endlessly through the Lifestream with Cloud. Fighting Sephiroth alongside him, a thousand emotions fogging her mind. And that night under the Highwind…

She shook her head, scrambling the eggs she was preparing a little too aggressively. Tifa was used to these sorts of feelings, had been used to them for over two years now, but everything had somehow gotten paradoxically both better and worse at the same time over the past two months. Tifa struggled with her guilt now more than she ever had, it seemed. Hundreds, maybe thousands of innocent people had died because of her actions, and she had tried her damndest to convince herself that it was all for the good of the planet. It wasn't true, though; everything that had happened, every bad thing she had done, was all for nothing but petty revenge against Sephiroth. Over time, her guilt grew stronger, and plagued her mind like a disease.

She thought of her family often, of Aerith, and of Cloud, remorse tainting each pretty picture she had created of them in her mind. She didn't deserve anything that she had now – Denzel, for instance. Though she considered herself Denzel's "mother" now, it was her fault that he had become an orphan in the first place. She had grown to love the child, and yet, guilt tugged at her emotions every time she looked at him. She didn't deserve the home she had now, either. Sure, she may have helped build it out of scrap with her own two hands, but how could she have a warm, comfortable home to live in when she had destroyed so many other people's homes? Every day, people filtered in and out of the bar, bringing with them little reminders of her tainted past. Homeless people, people who traded potions or phoenix downs for a glass of wine because they couldn't scrounge up the gil to pay, always caused Tifa to wonder if it was her fault that they had turned out that way. For all of the sins she had committed, she didn't deserve anything that she had now. She didn't deserve her new life and she didn't deserve her new family. Most importantly, she didn't deserve Cloud.

She worried about him more than anyone else. He had suffered through more traumatic experiences than anyone else she knew, and living with him was a rollercoaster of emotions. She had hoped desperately that he would be okay once he was cured of the Stigma, but as soon as he seemed like he was ready to move on from his past, the nightmares began. Tifa couldn't sleep at night, knowing that he would inevitably be unable to sleep himself. She hadn't been sure what he was dreaming about before, though she had had an idea. Last night proved it: Cloud was still unwell, and he was still stuck in the past. Though he seemed a little softer, a little less sad and standoffish, Tifa could tell that he was still troubled. Even knowing that he was constantly facing some sort of inner turmoil, she selfishly wished that things would go back to the way they were before he had contracted the Stigma. She missed the silly little conversations that they had shared, and though they were slowly having those moments again, it was much less often.

Tifa had to scold herself constantly, every time Cloud would smile at her or when their arms would accidentally brush together. Some tiny part of her had hope, but she felt so wrong for having it. She knew that Cloud had developed some sort of feelings for her in the past, but that was so long ago, long before she found him muttering to himself in Midgar and convinced him to join AVALANCHE. She couldn't help but remember the way he would look at Aerith while they made their journey together, and had guiltily wished he would look the same way at her. Something about that night under the Highwind was bittersweet. She knew it was wrong, and she felt like she had abused Cloud and had taken advantage of his fragile emotional state. So what if her emotions were fragile, too? He had probably loved Aerith, far more than the platonic love Tifa had felt towards her. Hell, she almost felt like Aerith had been her rival as they both vied for Cloud's affection, and she felt guilty for that as well.

She really didn't know what anything meant anymore. To anyone else, Cloud and her were a couple. They lived together, they worked together, and they had somehow stumbled into parenthood together. But at the end of the night, they each went to their separate rooms and slept in their own separate beds, never discussing any sort of feelings that may have been between them. Tifa frequently questioned what that night under the Highwind really meant to Cloud. What guy wouldn't have slept with her, if they thought they were going to die the very next day?

She remembered asking Cloud one night, when she was sure he had fallen asleep, if he loved her. His eyes had flown open and he looked at her like she had slapped him in the face. She had quickly asked him if he loved Marlene, instead, trying to cover up her embarrassing question. That was all the answer she needed, though. She knew he wasn't good with words; he didn't have to be. He could have kissed her. He could have smiled or nodded his head "yes". He could have just reached out and reassuringly touched her hand. But no, she had gotten nothing. Nothing but a dubious expression and dancing around the question.

Regardless, things were okay, as long as Tifa kept herself busy. Barrett had been right when he told her that she needed to keep herself occupied with work or she'd think too much and wouldn't be able to do anything at all. She always felt tired, but she welcomed the feeling. It was better than not being tired, because this way, she could keep her thoughts under control a little easier. Pushing the sad thoughts and the unanswered questions to the back of her mind had become an integral part of her new routine. It was as important as brewing the beer, or cooking the night's meal. It was as important as breathing.

'Dilly-dally, shilly-shally.' Right?

Right. She shook herself from her worries as best she could, turning her attention to the sausages frying in the other pan. Despite all of her troubled thoughts, she knew that worrying was unnecessary, especially when she lived such a happy and comfortable existence now. She was well fed, she had a warm bed at night, and she no longer had to worry about anyone being hellbent on destroying the world. Maybe she really didn't deserve it, but she had come to enjoy this way of life, free of the radical attacks on a corrupt corporation, free of fighting off monsters and men alike. It was definitely better this way. Still, she could never quite stop the sinking feeling she got in her chest whenever she saw Cloud's tired, troubled eyes. She could never stop the guilt that gnawed at her daily, and she could never stop the fact that she wished things had turned out differently. If only they could have saved everyone… If only they had been a little more careful… If only her and Cloud…

"Good morning, Tifa!"

Tifa's thoughts were interrupted by a chipper little girl bounding down the stairs, a slightly older boy in tow behind her.

"Good morning Marlene, Denzel…Cloud." Tifa smiled warmly at the three of them. Both of the children looked well, but Cloud was obviously only half-awake and his hair was an absolute mess, despite the fact that he was dressed and looked ready to go. If she weren't so worried about him, she would have chuckled at his appearance. The nightmares had caused lots of small changes in Cloud's behavior over the past two months. Instead of waking up immediately, full of energy and raring to go, he got up slowly, groggily. Like a tired old man.

"You sleep ok?"

Cloud moaned quietly and stretched his arms out behind his back, rolling his shoulders and neck. "Slept 'bout as well as I could. Breakfast smells good." He slowly made his way over to their usual table in the dining area that the kids were already sitting at. Marlene, ever the morning person, began chatting away while Tifa finished up breakfast.

"So, guess what Cloud? I didn't get to tell you last night, but Papa called and said he's gonna come visit soon!"

This seemed to capture Cloud's attention, for Tifa noticed that his head had snapped up to look at Marlene while she was preparing everyone's plates.

"Really? That's… Really good news, isn't it?" His voice sounded uneasy, but Tifa could tell that he was trying to sound excited for Marlene's sake.

"Yep! It's not gonna be for a while though, he said it might even take him another month to get here. He's still busy with Mr. Cid, but he said as soon as they get finished they're gonna bring their airship here and see us!"

Tifa brought over the first two plates, setting them down gently in front of Marlene and Denzel. Cloud was eyeing her cautiously.

"Tifa, you didn't say anything about this last night…"

Tifa bit her lip; Cloud had gotten home late again last night, so the only chance she would have gotten to tell him would have been after he had woken up from his dream. Or, she guessed she could have called him while he was on his way home. She didn't want to worry him about it, though, and she knew he wouldn't exactly be enthusiastic to hear the news. She turned around to grab the remaining two plates of food, calling over her shoulder, "I was going to tell you this morning, but it seems that Marlene beat me to it."

Marlene hungrily dug into her pile of scrambled eggs, and said with a mouthful of food, "It's gonna be fun, Cloud! Papa said he'll take us for a ride on the airship!"

"Marlene, don't talk with food in your mouth," muttered Cloud pointedly.

"Sorry." She swallowed and continued, "He said he wants to meet Denzel too! And him and Mr. Cid are both excited to see you guys!"

Tifa came back with her and Cloud's plates, setting them down gently and returning to the kitchen to grab some orange juice. Cloud picked at his eggs thoughtfully, keeping silent."We're both excited to see them too, Marlene," Tifa said cheerily as she returned and settled into her chair, pouring juice for everyone.

Marlene quieted down for a second, looking like she was deep in thought, before suggesting, "Hey, Tifa, why don't we have a party?"

Tifa looked at the little girl with surprise. "A party?"

"Yeah! A big party!" Marlene enthused, holding her arms out to emphasize her point. "We could invite all of your and Cloud's friends, so that they could see Papa and Mr. Cid too! And Denzel could meet everyone! It'll be fun, right Denzel?" She elbowed the boy's side, prompting him for a response, which was simply, "Uh… Sure."

Tifa thought for a moment too, looking at Cloud curiously. His face was set in stone, the same way it always was when Cloud was trying to hide his emotions. Tifa could see right through him, though. She knew that the word "party" wasn't even in the man's vocabulary, and he'd be incredibly uncomfortable with the idea. But with how on edge he was lately, she wondered if a party might be just the right thing for him. Sure, she'd have to likely force him into accepting the idea, but maybe a reunion with his old friends would perk him up. It had to be better than letting him wallow in his problems again. She refused to let him get back to that point.

An AVALANCHE reunion…

She toyed with the idea, mulling over the thought of Cloud talking and laughing with everyone. She decided that it was a scene that she definitely wanted to see, even if it wasn't entirely likely to play out all that well. She'd make it work, somehow.

"Hmmm… You know Marlene, I think a party sounds fun", Tifa mused, smiling at the child. "…But Cloud and I will have to talk about it first…" She looked over to the swordsman, who was still silently eating his breakfast, not bothering to look up at her. Tifa returned her attention to Marlene. "There would be lots of planning involved… And I'd need to cook enough food to feed everyone, because you can't have a party without lots of good food… Anyway, Cloud and I will think about it," she stated with some finality.

Marlene clapped her hands ecstatically. "Yay! This is gonna be so much fun! It'll be just like old times, only Cloud won't be a big meanie this time!"

Cloud paused from sipping his orange juice, and for a split second, a hurt expression ghosted across his features before he composed himself. "When was I a big meanie?" he asked, trying to make his tone come off as playful.

"At the old 7th Heaven! Everyone was always having lots of fun, except for you!" She put her tiny hands on her hips and looked at him scornfully.

Tifa gave Marlene a scolding look in return. She was surprised that Marlene could even remember those times so well – she was only four years old then – but apparently she did. She was wrong, too. It wouldn't really be like the old times… Not at all… They would be missing so many people, and so many new faces have come into their lives since then… She looked at Marlene with gentle, but serious eyes.

"Marlene, things were different back then… And you shouldn't say mean things like that to Cloud."

Surprisingly, Cloud chuckled softly at her statement. "No, it's alright, Tifa. She's right. I was a 'big meanie' back then."

Marlene nodded sagely in agreement. "It's ok now, though. Cloud is nice now, so he'll have lots of fun!"

Cloud didn't say anything else, so Tifa smiled warmly at Marlene and told her and Denzel to go upstairs and get ready for school. She cleared some of the dishes off the table quietly, taking them into the kitchen and starting the water to wash them up. To her surprise, Cloud came in a second later, carrying the rest of the dishes with him.

"Oh, thank you, Cloud."

"No problem. Thought I'd help clean up before I head out."

She smiled at him gently. Lately, he'd been surprising her. Catching her off guard. One moment, he'd be quiet, forlorn, and brooding, then the next moment he would try to smile, try to laugh, or try to be helpful. Even his little chuckle while sitting at the breakfast table was out of place. Tifa welcomed the idea of a chuckling Cloud, but she could tell that it was forced, which worried her even more. If nothing else, though, she could see that he was trying, which was all she had wanted for the past two years. Well… for the most part, at least.

The two of them worked in comfortable silence for a moment. Tifa knew that Cloud would need to be leaving soon, but he was waiting for the kids to leave first. She smiled softly to herself as she washed a plate; it was sweet. He was even trying harder with the kids. Used to, he would just leave at the crack of dawn, and he wouldn't come home until late at night. But ever since the Stigma had been cured, he'd actually stayed to eat breakfast almost every morning. He still came home late almost every night, but she guessed that couldn't be helped. Regardless, it seemed that Cloud really wanted to spend time with Marlene and Denzel. He was still a little awkward with them, though considerably less so when it was just him and Denzel, but he was still trying. Tifa wondered idly if he would try for his friends' sake, too? …For his own sake?

"Cloud… About Barrett and Cid…"

"Don't worry about it," he stated flatly.

"But…" She scrubbed a particularly stubborn pan aggressively. "I could tell that you were upset…"

Cloud stopped drying the glass he was holding and leaned against the counter, looking at Tifa. "I'm not upset, I'm just… surprised. I didn't expect to hear that kind of news first thing in the morning."

Tifa kept scrubbing her pan, not looking up at Cloud. "So… you're ok with it, then?"

Cloud blinked, resuming his work with the dishrag. "I'm as ok with it as I'll ever be."

It was Tifa's turn to stop washing and look at Cloud pointedly. "What about a party, Cloud? An AVALANCHE reunion? I… I think it's a nice idea."

He didn't say anything back, and just kept drying the dishes.

"It might be fun, Cloud. It'll be great for the kids… And we could all see each other again, in a normal setting. We could eat and drink and talk…"

The swordsman was still silent, moving mechanically as he worked.

"They're your friends Cloud," Tifa sighed. "Don't you want to see them again?"

They were both quiet for a moment, until Cloud murmured, "…I'm just nervous, I guess."

Tifa felt a little bit of empathy for the man, but that wasn't going to stop her determination to make this happen. Hell, she was a little nervous herself. Other than the short little rendezvous they had all had two months ago, fighting Bahamut SIN, they hadn't really seen each other in years. Most of them were busy doing their own things – Reeve was constantly kept busy running the WRO, and Vincent had disappeared like a shadow in the night. Nanaki had returned to his home village to sort things out there, and Yuffie had done the same in Wutai, though she had called to tell Tifa that she was working with the WRO now, too. She wasn't even really sure what Cid was doing, or for that matter, why Barrett was suddenly with him on his airship now. Barrett had left soon after he helped Cloud and her build the new 7th Heaven over a year ago, stating that he needed to 'find' himself. Tifa wasn't even sure if he had, yet, so if he wanted to come visit, then it must be pretty important. He probably just missed Marlene. Either way, Barrett and Cid were coming no matter what, so she figured she might as well throw this party for everyone. Cloud may not want it, but Tifa was sure that he needed it. They didn't hang out with anyone else, and those people were the closest friends they would probably ever have. Cloud needed to see that other people cared about him… People that were still alive and well. She was sure of it… Besides, could a little fun really hurt him?

Tifa reached out and gently touched Cloud's arm. "I'm a little nervous about the idea, too", she stated. "But I think it'll be really fun."

Cloud's eyes found hers and his expression softened. "…Alright."

Tifa's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Really?"

That was easy.

Cloud simply nodded in response. He didn't have time to say anything else before Marlene came running back down the stairs as Denzel followed her slowly.

"Me and Denzel are leaving for school now, Tifa!" she called.

"Alright, you two be careful", Tifa replied. She looked over to Denzel from her position at the sink. "You're in charge."

Denzel smiled brightly. For the past two months, Tifa had reminded him very often that he was in charge of taking care of himself and Marlene. He gave her a thumbs-up before strolling towards the front door. He paused when he saw Marlene walk over by Cloud, though, and stared unabashedly as she wrapped her tiny arms around Cloud's waist.

"I'm sorry I called you a big meanie, Cloud. I didn't mean it."

Cloud looked very surprised, and just awkwardly allowed himself to be hugged for a moment before bending down to hug the child back.

"It's ok, Marlene. I accept your apology."

The girl released him and beamed, giving Tifa a quick hug too before announcing her departure again and running out the front door of the bar. Denzel stood in the middle of the dining area, unmoving. Cloud strode over to him and placed his hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Denzel, you remember what I told you?"

The boy nodded slowly. Cloud smiled gently and ruffled the kid's hair.

"Good. Now go catch her before she gets herself into trouble."

Denzel nodded, pausing as he left the bar to tell both Cloud and Tifa goodbye. Tifa waved and the front door shut, and he was gone. She had a bemused look on her face when Cloud came back into the kitchen area.

"What was that all about?"

Cloud shrugged and reached up to scratch the back of his neck. "I think Denzel gets a little jealous when I give Marlene attention."

It would make sense. Marlene was outspoken and vibrant, and Denzel was quiet and thoughtful. Marlene talked to lots of people when she helped around the bar; Denzel would quietly wait trays and had few conversations with the patrons. Tifa had also noticed the bond that had formed between Denzel and Cloud. She tried not to interrupt them if they were out back working on Cloud's motorcycle, or doing anything else privately, because she noticed how Denzel became more talkative and animated when just the two of them were spending time together. Admittedly, she was a little jealous that the boy wouldn't show the same sort of affection for her, but she remembered that someone had told her before, that's just how boys are.

Tifa couldn't help but smile, and curiosity got the best of her. "What did you tell him, Cloud?"

He shuffled his feet, and it almost seemed like he wasn't going to tell her. He did open his mouth to speak though, his cheeks flushing a pale shade of pink.

"I told him that I care about both of them equally, and just because Marlene gets attention, doesn't mean that he won't get attention too. And… I told him that he was secretly my favorite." He looked ashamed, avoiding Tifa's gaze.

She just shook her head and laughed. "They really are brother and sister now, aren't they?"

Cloud chuckled softly too. "I guess so."

He's so damn sweet.

Tifa couldn't help herself. Her constant worry for Cloud and her perpetual gnawing guilt faded away into nothingness when they looked at each other, both smiling gently. It was the moments like this that she relished, always finding new little surprises about Cloud that she knew he would never dare to tell anyone else. These were the moments that she clung to.

Tifa leaned back against the counter, studying Cloud's expression, cementing it in her mind. "You really are his hero. You know that?"

He flushed even harder at that, and to Tifa's dismay, his features fell back into their solemn permanence. "I'm no hero, Tifa."

She walked toward him slowly, stopping right before him, forcing him to look at her. "Hey, don't say that. You are a hero. You're Denzel's hero. And you're mine too." She smiled up at him, and a strange expression crossed his face as he blushed again. She wasn't sure if she had ever seen Cloud's face this red.

"I-I need to get going", he stammered.

"…Oh, you're right. It's getting late, isn't it?" Tifa turned back to the small pile of dirty dishes that were left in the sink. She frowned slightly to herself.

"Just don't ever let Marlene know what you said about Denzel", Tifa noted. "And don't let him tell her either. It would probably break her little heart."

"…Of course."

Tifa turned back to look at Cloud, smiling softly again. "And be careful. I know you're tired, so don't have a wreck or… get eaten by a monster, or something."

Tifa was glad to see Cloud smile back at her. "Of course," he repeated. He made his way towards the front of the bar, hesitating at the door. "See ya later, Teef."

"See ya, Cloud."

With that, he was off. Tifa knew that she probably wouldn't see him again until late that night, after she had already fallen asleep. At least they had laughed and smiled together this morning, and it had been easier to convince Cloud into having this party than she thought. Maybe things would finally turn around. Maybe he would smile more often; maybe he would learn how to laugh out loud instead of quietly and shyly. Tifa's heart felt like it was swelling up as she finished tending to the dishes, before falling like a rock again when she thought back to the night before. Muttering, tossing and turning, drenched in sweat and obviously exhausted, Cloud still wasn't well. He was probably just playing at being 'okay' to keep her from worrying herself to death, as if that were possible.

Tifa chided herself silently. How could she still keep taking advantage of him like this, allowing herself to touch him and smile at him and feel hope bubble up when he looked at her with those soft eyes, eyes that seemed to be reserved only for her? There were much more important things going on than her feelings for him.

Those damn nightmares. Damn everything that has happened. Damn Shinra. Damn Sephiroth… Damn you, Tifa.

There had to be some way she could stop the nightmares… And there had to be a way to stop herself from pushing her feelings on Cloud.

It's called self-control, and you need to start practicing it a little harder.

Tifa sighed and continued her methodic work around the kitchen. The last thing Cloud needed right now was Tifa confusing him or embarrassing him with her actions. Finding a way to help him was the most important thing right now. She tortured herself by racking her brain for some sort of solution in the hours she spent cooking and preparing the bar to open. By the time she was ready to open, she hadn't come up with anything, and had only managed to put herself in a sour mood.

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*** AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi everyone! I just wanted to thank you all for the reviews, favorites, follows, and views! It makes me feel great to know that you guys are enjoying my first published story! I will continue to upload once every 2 weeks, on the weekend. So please check back the first weekend in July for chapter 3! - SummonerStrife