A million times had Cloud woken from nightmares about the experiments that were done on him. A million times had Tifa held him in her arms and told him everything was going to be okay, that it was just a dream. A million times had she asked if he wanted to talk about it, and a million times he had said no. And now she understood why.
The pain was so excruciating, flowing through every cell in her body. She could see her blood staining white gloves, she could feel her skin being torn. She heard herself scream and cry out in agony and she heard Zack, too.
Poor Zack, she thought. To have to go through this again...
She felt like she was going to throw up. She had lost so much blood, not only from what was flowing from her open wounds, but the doctor had taken to drawing samples. She was so weak.
"Tomorrow we will begin the mako injections..." she heard him say.
She closed her eyes. She was slowly losing herself. With every cut, with every drop of blood lost, with every passing moment not spent with the kids, or Cloud, Tifa Lockheart was fading away.
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"Wake up, sunshine."
She rolled over and curled up in a ball. She could tell that it wasn't warm outside of the shelter of her blankets, and there was no way she was getting up yet. Suddenly, she felt the blanket being ripped off of her.
"Aghhh!" she yelled. She rolled over again, a little too far and ended up on the floor. She huffed.
"Vincent!"
The vampire laughed.
"At least you're awake," he said in a gruff voice.
Yuffie got to her feet, and mumbling the entire way, left the room and went to shower.
Vincent laughed to himself. He'd spent the past week sharing hotel rooms with Yuffie as the gang set out on their search for Tifa and Zack. Apparently, Cloud didn't want them all to share a room because it would only be easier to track down Yuffie or Red that way, but Vincent, along with Barrett thought that it was because Cloud wanted a reason to room alone with Aerith. Vincent had volunteered to keep his on the ninja, to which Cloud agreed. Vincent was best suited for protecting the young woman; she behaved more around him.
She's too good for you, Vince, he thought.
The gunman hated to admit it, but he had grown quite fond of the Wuitian. She was so bright, so full of life, and though he was filled with darkness and sorrow, she brought him hope and joy. Still he fought with himself over what was right and what was wrong. Could he make her happy? He highly doubted it.
He heard the shower turn off and a moment later the bathroom door opened. Yuffie walked out in only a towel, her short, dark hair still drenched. Vincent groaned out loud.
"Oh, Vince. I didn't know you were, uh, still in here," she said, her face growing more lovely as a bright shade of pink spread through her cheeks. Without thinking, Vincent stretched his hand out towards her face. He placed his fingers under her chin and slowly, and so very carefully brought her lips to his.
"Vincent? Yuffie? Oh, holy mother! What is going on in here? No! No! Never mind! I don't want to know. Just... do your business and come downstairs as soon as possible. Ew... ew, ew, ew," Cid walked out the door as quickly as he had come in.
Yuffie and Vincent were both radiating red. Vincent coughed awkwardly.
"Well, you should probably get dressed, then."
"Yeah. See you downstairs, I guess."
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Tifa had lost track of the days. She lived from operation to injection to operation. Her eyes were still the same ruby color they had always been, but they glowed brighter. She could feel a new, unfamiliar strength. She only knew that Zack was still alive because she could hear his screams along with hers.
Eventually, Tifa was considered stable enough to move back to the cell. Zack went with her. The mako had healed her wounds, but her body was still so very weak. She leaned on the cold, damp cell wall. She listened to the sound of her heartbeat, and the sound of Zack's breathing.
"Zack...?"
"Yes, Tifa?"
She drew in a ragged breath.
"Do you think... do you think that they are ever going to come? To save us, that is?"
It was silent for a long time.
"Zack...?"
"I have to believe that they will, Teef. I have to believe they will."
"Will I ever go back to normal?"
"Mentally and emotionally, you will eventually return to the person you were. But physically... no."
Tifa nodded.
"I can handle that."
They didn't talk for the rest of the evening. Dawn came too early and it felt like as soon as Tifa had closed her eyes, she was being shaken awake.
"Get up. Doc says only a few more operations and you'll be ready to train. Isn't that exciting?" The sarcasm dripped on every word the guard spoke.
Tifa stood up on shaky legs. Zack moved to her side and gave her hand a squeeze before they were dragged up the stairs.
As she lay on the operation table, she thought about Cloud.
Where are you? she thought.
And though she knew that she too, like Zack, had no other choice but to believe that he would come with friends to save them, part of her heart worried that they never would. Or they would be too late.
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It was storming. Thunder shook the entire cement floor was flooded, and Tifa sat shivering. Her arms were wrapped around her legs, her ruby eyes were glowing in the dark. She rocked back and forth, the only movement that didn't send waves of pain shooting through her body. Her final operation was tomorrow and then the were going to stick her in the mako chamber for two weeks. Her heart beat hard in her chest. Was she going to survive? She didn't think so. She'd already been injected, but only with small doses. This was going to change her into something else entirely. Zack had warned her of the pain.
She saw him move out of the corner of her eye.
"Tifa, come here."
Instead of giving her the chance to move, he came to her and drew her into his arms, sitting her in his lap. He hummed quietly into her ear for a little while until he spoke.
"I know you're scared; I'm scared, too."
"That doesn't help at all, Zack. Thanks, though."
He laughed quietly. They sat and listened to the storm for awhile.
"Why are you scared? I mean, you've been through this before and you survived. You shouldn't be worried about a thing..."
His arms tightened around her.
"I'm scared, Tifa, because I'm afraid I'm going to lose you. You are the only thing that has kept me going through this. Just knowing that you were here, that you would comfort me, that you were here to understand my pain... That's what has kept me strong. I need you to survive, Teef. I can't lose you. That's why I'm scared."
She was going to respond but his lips were on hers before she could. A million things crossed her mind at once.
What was going on?
What about Aerith?
Why wasn't she stopping him?
What about Cloud?
But he feels so good...
No. She loves Cloud.
Zack loves Aerith.
Then why is he kissing her? And touching her so softly...
Cloud.
Cloud.
Cloud.
Where is he?
She loves Cloud.
Zack.
Zack.
Zack.
He feels so good.
And so she kissed him back. Warmth flooded through her freezing veins. She didn't care that she didn't love him. She didn't care that he didn't love her. He was here. He was here and he was kissing her. He said he needed her and she realized that she needed him, too. Everyone else had abandoned her. Lightening flashed, illuminating the sky. Thunder shook the heavens. Zack moaned and the sound drove Tifa wild. She kissed him harder. Her arms wound their way around his neck. His hands were grasping her waist.
They fell asleep in each others arms.
Tifa awoke with a jerk. Her nightmare had been so vivid. But she felt his arms around her, keeping her safe if only for the night. She felt him move, waking because he felt her stir.
"You okay, Teef?"
She nodded.
"It was just a dream," she said, trying to make her voice as light as possible.
Just a dream.
But worry pooled in her heart. If it was a dream, why did it feel so real?
He sat up and she followed suit. He stared at her for a minute before opening his mouth to speak.
"So," he began, a blush forming on his cheeks. "About last night..."
He never got the chance to finish. One of the guards came down the stairs to fetch them for the final operation.
"It's the big day, kids! Aren't you excited?"
He laughed darkly.
Tifa could hear her heart pounding. Zack took her hand in his and squeezed it tightly. She gave him a small smile.
As she followed the guard up the stairs she couldn't help but feel like she had done this before. Everything he instructed her to do, everywhere she was taken, it all felt strangely familiar. It was just as Dr. Hojo came towards her with a syringe in one hand and a scalpel in the other that she remembered.
Her dream. It was her nightmare all over again.
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Cloud woke with a start. His dream had been so... weird. He'd dreamed that his two best friends were making out in a cell that was hidden in the bottom of the old ShinRa mansion. He shook the thought out of his head and laughed.
Aerith walked into the room followed by Cid and Red.
"What's so funny, Spiky?" Cid asked.
"Nothing, just my dream. It was the weirdest thing..."
Something clicked in his mind. Something he had known, but had buried deep down in his mind. The old ShinRa mansion, that's where they were, whether they were making out or not. Cloud threw the blankets off of himself and jumped out of bed.
"Cid, how far away are we from Nibelheim?" His voice was filled with excitement and panic.
"Uh, about an hour, maybe an hour and a half. Why?"
Cloud was throwing things out of his drawers, looking for pants. He threw on a pair, found a shirt and was searching for his materia, completely ignoring the others as they continued to question him.
"CLOUD! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! WHY THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO NIBELHEIM?!" Cid shouted.
Cloud froze, shocked that his friends were standing there. He'd forgotten all about them, his mind was consumed with memories of the laboratory, of the doctor hovering over him. How could he be so stupid? How could he not put all the pieces together sooner?
"That's where they are. That's where Hojo took them. I'm so stupid. That's where he had Zack and I before."
Understanding dawned on everyone. Aertith giggled and ran out of the room screaming for everyone to meet in the cockpit. Cid ran to tell the crew to change direction towards the village. Red howled and ran to join the others.
Cloud was filled with relief. Tifa and Zack were going to be found. They had help on the way. He missed them both so much. The past month had been hell on him. Guilt had weighed heavily on his shoulders. He missed seeing her ruby eyes, her smile, her dark hair dancing around her waist. Aerith had definitely made a few moves on him, despite the fact that she was seriously involved with Zack. He didn't understand it until a few nights ago when he had heard her crying in her room. She explained that Cloud was so similar to Zack that sometimes she mistook her feelings for the two. She apologized and cried harder until Cloud assured her that it was understandable and that he forgave her.
It was hard to hear that her feelings for him weren't real. Cloud had definitely been attracted to Aerith from the moment he had met her. She was so full of light, so beautiful and good. But Zack had dibs and Cloud wasn't going to be the kind of guy who would take his best friend's girl. These weeks without Tifa had made him realize what a huge part of his life she was. He missed her fire, her compassion, her complete understanding of the person he is. No one knew him better than she did. She had been there for him through every minute of his childhood and he for every minute of hers. He never realized just how much she did for him, how much she put up with on his part. He missed her.
He stood up to go form a plan with the rest of the team. A smile was playing on his lips as he thought about his childhood friend. He would save her and he would take her home. He would take care of her until she was strong again and then he would tell her everything.
He would tell her that it was his fault; he would apologize; he would tell her that she should hate him; he would tell her that even if she did hate him, it wouldn't matter because almost losing her forever made Cloud realize that he was in love with Tifa Lockheart.
And he would tell her that.
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Her skin burned. She cried out, not only in pain, but it panic. She called out his name a hundred times and she never heard a reply.
"ZACK!"
She sobbed. She felt the doctor stitching her up.
"ZACK!"
She couldn't see anything. Her eyes were blurred with tears. She couldn't speak anymore. She choked on her pain. She felt someone pushing her into a sitting position.
"Hush now. He can't hear you."
Her tears would not relent.
She could see him on the other operation table. Blood was everywhere. His eyes were open, staring off into nothing.
"Zack... please... Zack."
"Take her out of here. Get her cleaned up before we put her in there."
Tifa felt hands wrap around her arms. She shook them off and stood up. The guard lunged for her, but she stepped out of the way, turned, and slammed him in the face with her foot. She could feel the mako pumping through her veins. Her heart beat hard and her sense were far more alert than they had ever been. She could see each twitch of her opponent's muscles. She moved a split second before they did. Two guards were on the ground and she was getting ready to take on the third when Dr. Hojo spoke.
"Stop attacking her, you idiots. She'll kill you."
Tifa turned to face him.
"Zack," she said, her voice shaking.
The doctor laughed. Tifa's fingers twitched.
"He'll be fine once we put him in the chamber. Now please be a good girl and go with the nice men."
She didn't understand why he thought she would go willingly. He'd just witnessed her pummel his guards into the ground. But then she felt a rush and fell over to the ground. Her energy was drained. Mako injections were only going to get you so far. The remaining guards picked her up and carried her into a white room where they started to take off her clothes.
"Woah! Woah! Wait a minute! I can change myself, thanks."
The men laughed.
"We don't think so..."
They grinned and reached their hands towards her again.
She grabbed their arms, twisted them, and smiled when she heard them cry out in pain.
"Well, I do think so."
She let them go and they left the room, allowing her to change in private.
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Everything that happened after that was an exact replay of the nightmare Tifa had suffered the night before.
She left the white room and guards grabbed her, tied her hands behind her back to keep her from fighting, and led her down a long, cold hallway. Her bare feet made no noise on the concrete. She shook, her hair stood on the end of her skin.
They opened a metal door that led into a separate lab that she remembered only from an adventure that felt a lifetime ago. She had come here when she had first met Vincent, back when Cloud...
Cloud.
He wasn't going to save her.
Tears filled her eyes and dropped onto the cold, hard floor.
She heard doors open somewhere on the other side of the lab.
"Tifa! Run! Tifa!"
Her head shot up and she saw his raven hair, his beautiful eyes.
"ZACK!"
She struggled to free herself from the grip of the guards.
"Run! Damn it, Tifa! Go!"
But once she was free, she ran towards him, not the exit. She felt someone grab her, but she turned and kneed them in the gut. Her hands were still tied behind her back. Zack was fighting with the guards who had led him in. His hands were freed from the rope that bound them. When he was finished he turned to Tifa. Shock and anger flashed in his features.
"What the hell are you still doing here? I told you to leave."
Tears streamed down her face.
"I couldn't... I couldn't leave you here."
His face softened. He placed his hand on the side of her face and kissed her gently.
"You're so stupid." He laughed.
He untied her hands, laced his fingers through hers, and led her towards the closest door.
"We're going to get out of here, Teef. I promise. I won't let them change you. I'm going to keep you safe."
As soon as he finished, a door flew open and twenty or thirty of the giant men, similar to the man that had kidnapped Tifa in the first place, stormed into the lab. Hojo's voice came from somewhere, though the man was nowhere to be seen.
"Your little friends are here to save you, my little experiments. But I don't think they are going to make to you in time. It would have been so lovely to see what would have happened to you had you turned out successful."
The men charged the two. Zack was quick, knocking down the first people to come towards him. Tifa was nimble, dodging every attack. But the two were weak and there were too many of them.
It all happened very fast.
She could hear his voice. Their voices.
"TIFA!"
"ZACK!"
"Hold on! We're coming!"
She was distracted just enough to allow someone to grab hold of her. She could feel fingers crushing around her throat. Her feet were off the ground. She couldn't breathe and everything was going black...
"TIFA!"
She heard him yell.
She saw the blur of his black hair.
She felt the fingers loosen their grip.
She felt herself fall.
She heard something fall to the ground beside her.
She saw him.
She saw the blood.
No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
She heard herself scream.
And sob.
She felt the tears flood.
She felt herself move without thinking.
She had him in her arms.
She heard the door fly open.
She heard heavy footsteps.
She heard sword hit sword.
She heard them call out her name, trying to find her.
She heard them call out his name.
Zack.
Zack.
Zack.
Her eyes locked with his.
Ruby wine and violet blue skies.
"They're gonna save you, kid."
A ghost of a smile played on his lips.
"Zack. Zack, please. You have to stay with me. Zack..."
He lifted his fingers to her lips, quieting her.
"You know the worst part, Miss Tifa Lockheart?"
She shook her head, tears flowing onto the concrete, mixing with the blood that had pooled there.
"The worst part is... I could have loved you."
His fingers slipped from her lips and fell to the floor.
She screamed. She screamed a loud, blood-curling, heart-breaking scream.
And then she cried.
Her body shook with sobs.
She hadn't noticed the pipe that was sticking out of his torso, the obvious cause for the loss of blood. She grabbed it and pulled it from his body. She threw it across the lab, shattering the glass of something. She didn't pay any attention to it until the alarm went off.
The mako chamber. She had smashed the glass of the mako chamber.
Shit.
Mako spilled from the broken glass. Tifa grabbed Zack under the arms and dragged him towards the closest door.
"Cloud! Someone! Help me!"
She wasn't going to leave him in here. The mako was flooding the lab. It just kept flowing. She didn't understand where it was all coming from.
Leave it to Hojo to have a never ending supply of mako, she thought.
"CLOUD!"
Nothing.
"AERITH! VINCENT!"
Nothing.
Where did they go?
The mako was around her ankles. She lifted Zack and put his arm around her shoulder so she could support him better.
"HELP ME!"
She heard a muffled sound.
"HELLO!?"
The mako was around her knees, burning her scars.
"... Tifa... here... going... to..."
She pounded on the door.
"WHAT?! I can't hear you! I'm in here! HELP!"
She pounded on the door as hard as she could.
She sobbed.
The mako was up around her waist. It was seeping into her bloodstream through her open wounds.
She leaned against the door.
"Someone... someone... help..."
She slid down the door, the weight of Zack's lifeless body becoming too much for her weakening muscles.
She slipped under the surface of the flood, surrendering to the pain.
No one was coming.
Zack is dead.
There's no point in trying.
No one was coming.
You know the worst part, Miss Tifa Lockheart?
The worst part is... I could have loved you.
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He could hear her sobbing, her cries for help. His mind was racing, trying to figure out how he was going to save her.
Hold on Tifa, he pleaded in his thoughts. Hold on.
He heard her pounding on the door and as every pound grew weaker, his heart broke more and more.
"Cloud, we have to do something!"
Aerith had tears flowing down her cheeks; her green eyes were on fire with pain. Zack, her Zack, was in there and she knew it.
"We have to help them!"
His heart burned with rage. There was no way to open these damn doors. His friends stood close around him, all of them trying to drown out the sounds of their friends slowly dying on the other side of the door.
Tears welled up in his eyes. His ocean blue, mako-enhanced eyes filled and overflowed. He shook violently with sobs and fell on his knees. His best friends were in there. The two people who had stood by his side his entire life and he couldn't save them. Everyone stood frozen. Never had Cloud shown his emotions. Never had they seen him even wince in pain, and here he was on his knees. Tears escaped everyone.
His pain ebbed into a dull fury, and then not so dull fury, until he was royally pissed. He shot up and ran to the metal doors that imprisoned his heart behind them. He slammed into them, using every once of his thick muscles. He slammed into them again, and again, and again, and again, and….
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Her mind was black.
So this is death, she thought. It's not so scary.
Something was tugging at the back of her mind, something important that she should be remembering, but wasn't. She was alert of everything, which was a strange sensation seeing as how there seemed to be nothing around. But she could feel a soft breeze on her arms, she could smell wild flowers, she could hear footsteps.
Footsteps?
And then she felt a slight pressure on her hand.
Leave me alone, she thought. I'm dead.
She heard a chuckle, a very familiar, very comforting chuckle.
You're not the dead one here, I am.
She sat straight up and realized that she had had her eyes closed this entire time. She was sitting in a field of the most beautiful flowers she had ever seen. They reminded her of the flowers in Aerith's church.
Aerith… Aerith…
Cloud.
Cloud hadn't come.
And Zack was dead.
Zack was dead; she couldn't save him.
Zack…
"I'm right here, sweetie."
She looked up and sure enough, there he was. His violet blue eyes sparkled with warmth.
"You're dead."
He laughed.
"Yes."
"And I'm… not?"
He shook his head.
"Then why am I here?"
He sat down next to her.
"I'm keeping you safe. Until Cloud can take care of you."
Tears clouded her red wine eyes. She looked away from him, heat coloring her cheeks with pink. She felt his finger under her chin and he lifted her face up toward him.
"What's the matter?"
"You… you're trying to protect me, and I couldn't… I couldn't…"
She couldn't finish. Her heart was breaking and she was so disgusted with herself. She let him die in her arms. It was all her fault. If she hadn't lost focus for that split second, he would be alive…
"Stop."
She looked at him, her eyes burning with questions.
"It isn't your fault, Tifa. Don't you dare think that it's your fault. I don't regret anything I did to protect you. And if it's forgiveness you need because in your weird little head you think that you've wronged me terribly, then you have it. Not because I blame you, but because I know it's what you need to hear."
His wrapped his arms around her and let her cry into his chest.
"I'm so sorry, Zack. I'm so sorry…"
He placed his hands on her shoulders.
"Listen to me, Tifa Lockheart. Don't you say you're sorry to me, understand? I'm not sorry for one thing that happened today."
She hugged him tightly.
"They're coming for you now. Be strong, Tifa. We'll see each other again, I promise. Listen; tell Aerith that I love her. You can tell her what happened between us, if you want, but I want her to know what she means to me. I may love you, Teef, but I'm still in love with her. I'm sorry if that hurts you; I should have told you everything sooner, when we had time. One day, maybe…"
She shook her head.
"No need, Zack. I'll tell her. I… I'm actually glad to hear it. I've… Well… I've been in love with Cloud for years. I'll keep what happened our little secret."
She winked at him and he stood up. He helped her to her feet.
"You're my best friend."
She laughed, fighting tears as she thought about how close they had grown over the months. Now she had to say good bye in the most permanent way.
"It isn't forever, Teef. Just for a little while…"
She nodded, holding tight to that promise.
"Don't forget to tell Aerith!"
And then his voice disappeared. The last thing she saw was his smile, and then everything was black again.
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The doors flew open and a wave of mako flooded into the corridor.
"Holy –"
"TIFA!"
"TIFA!"
"ZACK!"
Two bodies poured out at the feet of the group.
"Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no."
But before anyone could move, the dark haired beauty shook with violent coughing. She vomited mako everywhere. She shivered in the cool air of the hall.
"Tifa! Tifa!"
His arms were warm and they were wrapped around her small, fragile body. Tears were pouring down her face.
"Zack…" she moaned.
"Oh no." Aerith fell to her knees and wrapped herself around Zack's lifeless body.
"Tifa, hush. It's okay, you're safe," he whispered.
"Zack…" she whispered.
Aerith didn't shake with sobs, or curse the heavens, no, she sat by the side of her beloved, tears streaking their way down her face. She didn't say a word, she didn't take her eyes off of him.
Another alarm sounded over their heads.
"Shit," Barrett cried.
Cloud looked up from Tifa's face, over to Zack. His eyes filled with agony.
"Barrett," he said, his voice gruff. "Take Zack, I'll get Tifa. Yuffie, you help Aerith. Let's get the hell out of here."