A/N: Thank you all so very much for reading and reviewing! Your reviews make my heart super happy. X3 I really do luff you all!

I would totally join the Church of Latter Day GaGa….

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An Evening in Winchester

Chapter 2

The Familiar Psycho

"What do you mean, we're lost?" Near said, trying to hide the true panic in his voice. "W-We can't be lost. We'll just call Roger!" he went on, beginning to talk more to Optimus Prime than to his cohorts.

Mello kicked Old Betsy and crossed his arms. "We don't have his number! Besides, we will NOT call Roger. He will do terrible things to me if we get caught," he answered, shuddering at the thought of what else might be on Roger's list of Mello's punishments. "Besides, Wammy's House is concealed from the public. No one would know what we were talking about if we asked about it. We've just gotta…" He looked around at their surroundings, at the high cliff and the run down bars and the mysterious characters hanging about the streets. "We've just gotta stick together. Not that I particularly enjoy the thought of sticking with Near, it's the only thing we can do."

Matt and Near exchanged worried glances with each other. Matt, nervous beads of sweat forming on his forehead, pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it. "I dunno, Mels," the redhead said absently, holding the cig between his teeth. "This area's kinda sketchy. And if we take the car, cops are bound to come after us, what with you driving like a freakin' maniac. Oh, sweet Jesus, we're in such deep shit…"

"Hey!" Mello snapped, slapping Matt upside the head. "I dunno how many damn times I've told you to respect my religion!"

"What's that?" Near mumbled, lowering his head to listen to Optimus Prime. He began to speak quietly with the robot as Matt and Mello spoke.

"Being apart of the 'Church of Latter Day GaGa is not a real religion, Mello," Matt told his best friend tiredly. "The alters in our room are starting to piss me off, too. Seriously, Lady GaGa isn't a god. I doubt she's even real."

Mello gasped and nearly slapped Matt. "You take that back, you damn—"

. "Optimus Prime says that you seem to play automobile video games quite a lot, Matt," interrupted Near. "Perhaps that could apply to real life situations? You seem to be good in games, at least."

Delighted with the closest thing to a compliment he would ever get from Near, Matt nodded. "Totally! Well, I'm not real good, but I'm okay. Way better than Mello, at least. Lemme try it out." He took the key from Mello and hopped in the driver's seat. After it turned over, he gulped and motioned for his companions to get in the car. Mello got in first, then Near. The car was originally made for just two people, so they were all a tid bit squished, which angered Mello even further. Matt put the car in reverse, very slowly at first, his gloved hands shaking. His cigarette was dropping ashes as he trembled. "O-Okay…let's go." He continued to back up, the car traveling at exactly 1.5 miles an hour.

Mello scowled. "Speed it up, if you can stand it, Matt."

The redhead nodded vigorously. "S-S-S-Sorry," he breathed, trying his hardest to keep his cool. The cigarette certainly wasn't helping. If it were legal, he would have played his DS while driving. It calmed him, and it was just in his back pocket…

"Matt!"

"I'M TRYING, DAMMIT!" he shrieked, his fourteen-year-old voice cracking with nerves. He shook like a Chihuahua, and began to wonder how Mello was able to go so much faster.

Mello rolled his eyes and pressed on Matt's knee. It sent his foot on the peddle, and the car accelerated from 1.5 miles an hour to a perilous 3 miles an hour. Matt released a blood-curdling scream and began to hyperventilate. He couldn't move, he was far too scared stiff. "God didn't intend man to travel at such speed!" he cried between gasps. His eyes shifted to the rear-view mirror, and he saw something that send another scream from his lips. "Oh, God, IT'S A DOG!" The tiny Pomeranian he spotted was about twenty feet behind the car, curled up into a ball and sleeping soundly. "GET OUT OF THE WAY, DOGGY, YOU'LL GET HIT!"

They were now sixteen feet away from the dog. It was all happening so fast, and the tension could be sliced with a knife. But in that moment, something odd happened. Both Mello and Near-who were watching Matt's delusional panic attack-met each other's eyes. Mello chuckled, Near smirked a bit, and they both rolled their eyes at Matt's hilarious behavior that would prove to be a delightful story once they returned to the house. After a moment, Mello realized that he wasn't glaring at Near, for once in his life, and was repulsed by this. He turned away from the boy in disgust and slapped Matt hard in the face.

The gamer blinked absent as a pink handprint formed on his cheek. His foggy goggles were askew, and he straightened them tiredly before reaching for the key. He didn't reach it, though; the car shut off on it's own. The three of them exchanged glances-except Mello and Near, so I guess it wouldn't be the three of them-before Near stated was the other two were trying their hardest to deny. "It's out of gas."

Mello clenched his fist, taking deep breaths, trying his hardest to avoid punching the nearest thing to him-which was Near. He knew giving the smaller boy a black eye-again-wouldn't help their mission. "Crap! Well, don't they sell jugs of gas? There's a station over there. How much do we have?" the three boys removed everything from their pockets. Together they had $4.72, a pack of cigarettes, a DS, a half-eaten bar of chocolate, and a detachable helmet for Optimus Prime. The blonde shook in fury and sent a silent prayer to Lady GaGa to help him remain calm and collected. Almost instantly, he began to breathe easier. "Well. I-I guess we'll have to ask someone for help!" he said enthusiastically. This wasn't normal for Mello; out of the three of them, he wasn't exactly pessimistic or optimistic. Matt was a glass half-full man, and Near saw it as half empty, while Mello couldn't give less of a damn; he just wanted a drink of whatever the glass was full, or empty, of.

"Mels, we'll get raped," Matt protested, silently mentioning that it isn't rape if you want it. And he did want it. "Can't we just ask around for-"

"We're not. Calling. ROGER," Mello told his best friend sternly. "I will cut your fucking face off and run around with it on as a mask. Do you understand?"

Matt, a bit disturbed by this statement, nodded and looked around for someone who looked relatively nice enough to assist them. Perhaps someone would have enough of a heart to loan them money for gas. It's not really considered loaning if you don't intend to pay it back, but even so. "How 'bout we just ask her for help?" he said, pointing to a corner about a block away where a woman dressed in tall stilettos, a short shock of a miniskirt, and a halter top was leaning against a STOP sign and smoking. "Women are all nurturing and junk, right? Near, you're all cute and stuff. Why don't you ask her for help?"

Near looked helplessly at Mello and Matt, who were each quite a bit taller than he was. He twiddled a bit of his hair nervously, trying to keep his cool demeanor. "I-I don't really…talk to women."

The best friends shared skeptical glances. "You mean you're…scared to talk to women?"

Near furiously shook his head, his white curls whipping his face. "Of course not. Not really. Maybe just a small amount. Yes, I am. They're psychotic, venomous creatures who would no doubt eat me if I show fear. They can smell it."

Matt and Mello fought to hide their smirks. "Does this mean you're into guys?" asked Matt hopefully.

The short boy narrowed his eyes, but said nothing. "Mello, females are interested in you, for some odd reason. You ought to talk to her."

Mello frowned and glanced at the rather scary looking woman. She was leaned over, talking to someone in a car, and it sped off while she was still leaning on it. She frowned and puffed on her cigarette. "Fine, then. I will." Leaving the other two behind, he hurried toward the woman on the corner, a shudder of doom traveling up his spine. "Um, excuse me-"

The woman turned and shot him an evil glare. "I told you I ain't got your damn money!" she screamed in a rough, smoker's voice, the kind of voice Mello was always warning Matt that he could get one day. "You audits, always comin' to my corner, wanting your child support, well, you ain't getting no damn child support!"

Mello was shaken by the lady's outburst, and instantly felt better when he saw Near and Matt and Optimus Prime (the fact that he listed the toy in his head disturbed him greatly) were approaching quickly. "I-I'm not here for child support," he said, trying to shake the fear from his voice. "I'm just a kid…my friends and I are lost, and-"

"Ohhhhh, I suppose you're gonna tell me I'm your mamma too, now!" the lady screamed, causing a few passersby to look at them all oddly. "Listen, you little brat, I ain't fallin' for it! I only pushed twelve little bastards outta my uterus! Or thirteen. But they's way younger than y'all! I think. BUT I'M NOT YOUR DAMN MAMMA!"

Mello shared a shaken glance with the others. Matt, sensing his best friend's true terror, stepped up to the plate. "Ma'am, we don't think we're your children. Or, we sure as hell hope not. We're sort of lost, and wondered if you could find it in the kindness of your heart to help us to buy some gas."

The lady narrowed her eyes. "I ain't got no money," she responded, stuffing the hundred dollar bills back into her bra. She eyes the cigarette between Matt's lips longingly. "But, listen. I'm almost outta cigs. You give me your pack and all the money you got, and I'll drive you home."

The boys looked at each other eagerly. Matt waggled his eyebrows at Mello in a "that's how it's done" fashion. "Thank you so much, ma'am," the boy said, collecting all their money together, along with his cigarettes, and presented them to the woman. "Now, I'm not quite sure where our house is, but if we look around I'm sure we—"

She was running down the street, cackling madly. "BITCH!" screamed Matt, darting after her. But being a smoker since he was six had given him terrible lungs, so after about ten yards, the redhead collapsed to the ground in a coughing fit. "Damn it, she was too quick," he choked out, eyes swelling with painful tears.

Near extended Optimus Prime's arm to gently pat Matt on the back, while Mello sneered at him best friend. "That's how it's done! Yeah fuckin' right. Now we're out of money, you're out of cigarettes, and our car's dead!" The blonde turned away and fumed to himself, mumbling swears and more prayers to Lady GaGa. He turned back to his cohorts. "Let's get back to Old Betsy. Maybe there's an emergency tank or something or-" he noticed that Near and Matt's jaws were dropped, and they were staring right behind him. A premonition of evil came into Mello's mind, and he turned to see what they were staring at.

Old Betsy was being towed.

"NO!" Mello screamed, darting down the street after the tow truck. But being an avid chocoholic since age 2, which involved 20 bars a day, zero exercise, and surprisingly zero diabetes, Mello's legs gave out after about thirty yards. "Dammit…" he panted to himself, trying his hardest to control his breathing, and wondering just how the hell he had remained under 800 pounds these past years. He staggered to his feet as the tow truck escaped from eyesight. Once back with Near and Matt and Optimus Prime (damn!), Mello slumped on the sidewalk and leaned against the wall. "We're never going to get home," he groaned angrily. "We've got no money, we don't know where the hell our car is, and even if we did, it's out of gas." He looked at the others, and saw that Near and Matt looked just as hopeless. Even Optimus Prime seemed a little down.

"I believe I might be able to assist you, if you would allow me to."

All three boys gasped. That voice belonged to their mentor, L! He would save them! They turned around to the direction of the voice, and released surprised yelps when they saw, no, it wasn't L. It could have been a very close relative, though. This man before them had L's messy dark hair, sleep deprived eyes, and funny little hunch. He was a bit shorter than L, though, and his cheekbones were a smidgen higher, and he just had a….darker look about him. This man was wearing a black fedora and a deep black jacket with tight black pants, which was indeed odd attire for this sort of weather.

Near clutched Optimus Prime tight. He knew in the pit of his tiny belly that he ought to be afraid, but he didn't know why. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he knew this person, and not just because he was reminded of L…

"The truck that took your car belongs to Honeydew," said the man. Now that the boys listened, his voice sounded smoother than L's, and higher. "He only works some hours few, but I dare say, if you hurry along, you may catch up to the man who's done wrong."

The three boys were like fire and water and earth next to each other. Near looked upon this stranger wearily and knew they shouldn't trust him. Matt was looking at the man's package and, satisfied with what he saw, began to check out the rest of him. He was very good looking indeed. Mello was sizing this person up, deciding whether or not they should go to the tower's. After all, people around here were psycho. And this dude kept rhyming some weird shit.

"Who're you?" Mello asked, stepping in front of the other two.

The man, to their surprise, smirked and chuckled a bit. "You don't remember me? I'm hurt. It has been some years, though, you see. You can call me B, for now, and how do we know each other? I can't tell you how! I haven't returned to my home in quite some time, but once I'm back, I will have what's rightfully miiiiiiiiine…" he drawled out, seeming to speak more to himself than to the boys. After a moment of awkward and creepy silence, B shook his head and smiled. "Well, I've to run, I nearly forgot. Will we meet again? For your sake, I hope not…." He turned from them and strode quickly down the street. The boys were stunned for a moment and didn't even notice where he ran off to.

"That's creepy," Matt said. "He looked so…"

"Familiar," finished Near, nodding his head at Mello. "And, what does he mean, we don't remember him…This is disturbing indeed."

Mello peered down the street that B had pointed to. It was dark, with flickering street lights and scary looking houses. What if we die? He wondered to himself. With a gulp, he took Matt's hand. He was about to take Near's hand as well, but a sudden bout of nausea convinced him to hold onto Optimus Prime. "Hold hands," he ordered the other two. "We're going to pray."

Matt was all too glad to hold onto Near's hand. He smiled flirtatiously at the shorter boy, and Near turned pink in humiliation. Mello slid his eyes closed, and Near and Matt did the same. "Dear Lady GaGa," said Mello in his best serious voice. "You've helped us through all our bad romances, and gave us the strength to make perfect poker faces. Now we need your help in surviving the trial that lays before us. Thank you for all you do for us, your eternal servants, and in return for our-my-loyalty, I pray that you keep us safe on our journey. Cherry cherry boom boom." They all released their hands, and Mello nodded, his faith in Lady GaGa giving him strength. "Let's go."

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A/N: I seriously said this prayer. XD Not with the keep up safe part. I was at a forensics tournament, and I got about ten of my friends and I said this prayer, and it gave me such confidence. I trust you all will use this prayer as well. XD Btw, the "Cherry cherry boom boom" part is indeed a GaGa song, and it's the Latter Day GaGa form of Amen. Lol

I know B's rhyming crap is creepy, but I thought it would be a hilarious idea. XD Btw, I imagine B to have a voice like Fred from Courage the Cowardly Dog. If ya'll don't remember, it's the episode called Freaky Fred, and he's Muriel's freaky nephew who's obsessed with cutting hair, and he speaks in creepy rhymes like "So alone was I with tender Courage, and all his fur, so furry furrish, I say, did encourage me to be…." There are vids of him on youtube. I imagine him behind the voice of B, except with the creep "naaaauuughhhhhty" ever five seconds.

Well, thanks for reading, and ta-ta for now!