A/N: Thank you for reading and the kind words! Hope you continue to enjoy the parts to come.

Yellow Light

Part 2

The day had been very fine, the sun still shining well into the afternoon. All of the staff had very much welcomed their outing to the seaside, proving to be just the tonic that was needed after an exceptionally busy season with Lady Rose's debut. Those who had been around long enough to remember were occasionally wistful as they recalled the last time there had been such a fuss made, memories of Lady Sybil bringing a fresh sense of grief that was thankfully outweighed by sweetness that she had been in the world even if for a time that was far too short. All traces of low moods banished, spirits continued to be high as everyone determined to make the most of the hours left before the break was over.

John was pleased to be part of it, finding that he could be more relaxed and sociable on days like this when everybody was relatively free to do their own thing. As was usual, he hung back from the crowd – although the servants were well dispersed across the beach into their typical groups – and he was heartened to observe the collective enjoyment. Yet his concern was always with the one that was dearest to his heart, who he could see sitting not too far away, her back to him but her face set towards the light.

She had certainly appeared to be happier on this trip, smiling more often and with the kind that he knew were true; the kind that reached her eyes and made them glimmer with hope that he prayed had not been lost. He had fretted that it might all be too much for her, being away from home with such a large party, but if anything she had thrived on the work and the company. As she had talked and even laughed at certain moments with Mrs Hughes and Miss Baxter he felt his heart lift, thinking how she seemed so carefree. Their own conversations felt almost back to the way they had been so cherished previously, with less hesitations and weight behind the gaps in words and phrases. They had been fortunate enough to share a room at Grantham House, with twin beds. He tried not to think too much, but still he could not have imagined how the simplest and shortest of embraces like the ones they had been sharing each night before they slept separately would mean the world to him. Closing his eyes now he felt Anna's arms hugging around him, drawing closer than they had been in months. He held the tears back as he always did, so overwhelmed that they were reclaiming something of what they were. True love could never be so easily extinguished, and the light of their love had given them both faith to get through the darkest times.

It was a question that was forever in his mind, yet he never wanted to ask it of her, knowing that it would only compound both of their sorrow. Today it was enough to simply watch her and know; yes, she was happy. Tomorrow, it could be quite a different story. It would take time to repair; the rest of their lives. But he would be there with her, to celebrate the good days and weather the bad ones. They would be together always – there would be no doubt about that.

The only cloud that had marred the day had been due to his own stupid fault. It wounded him deeply to even think that he had caused any hurt feelings in his beautiful, utterly blameless wife. He could have excused himself by saying that his thoughts were elsewhere, but it was no consolation. To think that he had made her apologise when there was no need on this earth made him repulsed with himself and he was even more frustrated that the way he had let things go had unnecessarily complicated their life, when it was the last thing that was needed.

The letter that was in her name arrived on their doorstep in the time that she was away, those thirty days that were an agonising eternity. He was frozen for minutes, staring at the way 'Mrs John Bates' had been carefully scripted upon the envelope, tormenting himself by thinking she would likely not remain for much longer. Whatever it was would only cause her more worry that she would not possibly be able to shoulder, so he tore it open, foolishly believing that something addressed to her would bring her back to him if only for seconds.

In truth he had forgotten that they had decided jointly to put his mother's house in London on the market some months ago. He was finding it hard to remember the hours that came before the last at present. An offer had come through the letting agent, the first that went past mere rental. John picked up the letter inviting a visit for proper discussions again some months later. He would only venture to go when he knew that Anna would be secure enough to be without him, knowing he would not leave her side for a second when she did not wish it. Now that she was aware of what had happened, he trusted Lady Mary to keep her well occupied. While she was elsewhere in the city safe with her mistress, he set off to see if he could settle part of their brighter future.

Negotiations had not taken long, with the prospective buyers simply not able to match the current price, and John regretfully being unwilling to budge, knowing that it was something of a steal as it was. The agent reassured him that there would be interest later down the line, yet it did nothing to stop his dejection. Nothing he did seemed to work at the moment. He had failed her yet again, and it was the worst feeling in the world. God knows how many more failures he would have to face up to, the look upon her face breaking his heart each time until there was only dust left. He did not need to gaze up to the sign over his head to know that Piccadilly wasn't far. Blood turned to steel in his veins, his free fist tightening against the leather of his glove as his mind took on a cold, hard focus. It was not what he had wanted, though he had often pondered, but it was something he could do to be sure that she would be free from a great deal of the pain. How sad it was that the only right he could do was in wrong.

The streets were busier than he had seen them, the main square crowded with people. He supposed that it was a strange blessing. He took a few moments to map out his movements, then the deep silence of his mind was pierced with a scream that was near to the most chilling he had ever heard. Vehicles screeched against the asphalt of the road, a small body about to stumble in their path. He had no idea he was still able to move so fast. Scooped in his arms, the child was stunned before it began to wail from the shock, reaching its chubby arms past his shoulders. A woman of petite stature came rushing forth, and John almost stumbled himself seeing her blonde hair peeking from underneath her hat. She offered him endless thanks with her words as well as her striking blue eyes, capturing his senses as he handed the child back over into its mother's grasp. Stepping back, he was aimless until there was a hand on his shoulder, placing his discarded cane back into his right hand.

"Likely we'll see a few more accidents before the day is out," the older man with a newspaper in his other hand commented to John, "and they won't end as happily as this one."

He could only nod in agreement, his gaze fixed to the child who was smiling again and holding an arm out towards him as it was showered with kisses from the young mother. The sight caused an image to form in his mind, bringing him back from the brink.

Without another thought he headed in the direction he had come from, stuffing his hand deep into the seam of his coat pocket, not casting a single look back to that day.

His eyes didn't leave Anna as he went forward purposefully slowly, being careful not to startle her. She wasn't too bothered, her attention caught by the game of cricket some of the others had started up a bit further along the beach. Sitting on a low stone wall her legs dangled slightly above the sandy ground and he caught the glimpse of a slow smile as she tilted her head to the side to follow the action, laughing lightly and clapping every now and then when a successful point was scored. It was no exaggeration to say that, at least in his eyes, the sun seemed to increase in its force around her as if its shining too was reliant on her happiness. John stopped for a moment to admire her, sending thanks to the heavens that times like this could still exist.

She must have been aware of his gaze, peering over her shoulder with her hat held in her hands, having removed it briefly to let it double up as a makeshift fan in the non-existent breeze. John couldn't help but be breathtaken by seeing her face uncovered; her beauty was so fresh and radiant, complimented perfectly by the late summer's day. He was prouder of her still that the smile she had been wearing only grew in strength, and his own expression followed suit. It could do nothing else when he had her in his vision.

Before he took his seat next to her, he handed the ice cream cone over into her hands. A small thrill surged through him watching the way her eyes lit up beneath the brim of her hat, now securely back on her head. She nibbled at the vanilla scoop slowly and thoughtfully. Resting his cane against the wall, he joined her in spectating, the peace between them comforting and not taken for granted.

"Who's winning?"

Anna contemplated his question for a moment or two, then gave a small shrug of her shoulders.

"I don't think they're keeping proper score. Not like the tournament. It's really just showing off to see who can make the biggest shot."

Minutes later, they looked on in amusement as most of those playing clambered to try and catch the ball Jimmy had sent flying almost the length of the shore.

"Mr Molesley isn't playing?" John observed, surprised that the man hadn't been first to take part, despite his lack of skill.

"No," Anna nodded her head towards where he could be seen sitting with his knees pulled up on the sand, deep in conversation with the other lady's maid. "He seems to have better things to be occupied with now."

The couple shared a smile, both thinking of the relationship that was blossoming between their fellow servants. Anna had expressed regret that she hadn't been as accommodating to Miss Baxter as she could have been on the lady's maid's arrival, although John was quick to dismiss her concerns; given the unfortunate timing, nothing else could have been expected. In the time since the two women had struck up a firm friendship, and John was sure that Anna probably knew more about Miss Baxter and Mr Molesley than she was letting on. He didn't mind at all, glad that his wife had another companion to rely on. At the same time he had no qualms if Anna had decided to discuss certain matters with her equal. Of course he wished for her to come to him with all of her burdens, but he knew there were still things that were too difficult for her to say. He would not dwell and would wait patiently, even if it took the rest of their life together.

As they moved back and forth across the beach the agility of the other men astounded him, although he had once been just as quick and proficient, if not more so. He was struck suddenly by how youthful Anna was – how youthful she remained – and he felt quite diminished, his head filling with regret for all the opportunities she would miss simply for choosing him.

"I'm rather envious," he admitted, causing his wife's soft gaze to settle upon him. "It was never my game, but every now and then I think it would be nice to be involved."

He noticed a certain look gracing the very edges of her delicate features.

"I can't say that it matters to me," she began hesitantly, "there are plenty of other things that caught my fancy about you."

Her head dipped quickly, shielded by her hat, but John was able to briefly catch sight of the apples of her cheeks. She was blushing profusely, the way she hadn't done since the early days of their courtship. A lump filled John's throat, quickly replacing the joy he had felt on hearing her utter such a statement so freely. They had been rebuilding their intimacy steadily and slowly, and she was easier with showing him affection now, but they both knew there was still a long way to go yet.

He almost believed that he might have slipped into a dream when dainty fingers wrapped around two of his, followed soon by her whole hand pressing against his own palm. A sigh left him, unbidden, and he felt rather than saw her smiling.

"I'm sorry," the words left him quickly but sincerely.

Anna's eyes shot towards him. "Whatever for?"

It seemed as though she really had forgotten, while the guilt had remained with him all day.

"For snapping at you before. About the coat. I over-reacted and it was ridiculous of me."

Her forehead crinkled a little as she shook her head. "It was no more than you usually do." Despite his torment he was heartened to hear the lightness in her tone that had been missing for quite some time appear again for a moment. "It's quite alright. We should have sorted through the things together, I wasn't thinking."

"You shouldn't need to think," he managed a half-smile. "There really was no need for it. I won't be bad enough to blame the heat. I was being an irrational fool, plain and simple." He knew he still possessed a sharp tongue at times, and he would never forgive himself if he started using it against Anna, when he was the only one to blame for the things he hadn't said.

"John,"- his back straightened on hearing him use his first name, it seemed to affect him even more greatly now- "it's forgotten about. Truly. Let's not the waste the time we still have away worrying on something of nothing."

He had a greater smile for her reasoning, knowing that she was right. She had told him last night that she was looking forward to being back home and it made him happy to hear, feeling much the same. It would be good to have some real privacy again and to be able to continue making some good, new memories. At the same time John resolved that once they were there he would come clean about what had happened in London once and for all. He would not let at least one cloud linger over their heads when it could be easily dispersed.

John noticed that more than a hint of a quite cheeky grin had formed on her lips, and he wondered what was going on her head, encouraged that it was something she wanted there.

"There is a way you could make up for it," she ventured softly.

He smirked at the role reversal from not too long ago. "Oh, is there now? It wouldn't happen to involve ice cream, by any chance?" She had devoured the previous treat with speed, a tiny trace of it still dotted at the corner of her lips.

"Why, it certainly does, Mr Bates."

"Well, I can't possibly refuse you anything, my love." John dug his hand into the pocket of his trousers, ascertaining whether he had enough spare change. "Even if you will bankrupt me one of these days."

Her laughter was his most sought after soundtrack.

"I shall come with you, and we shall scrape something together," she trilled. "Plus, I want to make sure they don't sell out of chocolate."

John chortled, offering his arm for her to hop back down onto the sand. When her lips landed upon his cheek before her feet touched the ground he broke out into a grin, the gesture unexpected but most certainly held dear.

Walking off arm in arm towards the ice cream cart, the tide had seemed to have started to turn, at long last. The good memories of this day far outweighed the bad of so many that had passed before.

A/N: Well, I don't suspect it will have gone this way, but this is my version of events. I like to think this did happen after we saw them for all of 30 seconds or so.

Also, I found out after writing this that a penny lick is an ice cream in a small glass, and they pre-dated cones. But to my mind it was something slightly different, so I'm just skirting over that minor detail. (If DA can be inaccurate at times...)