A/N: I do not own Twilight.
Thank you to A Jasper For Me and HMPObsessed for all the help in this chapter. They're super fast and I love it. =)
Slither is loosely based on the song of Velvet Revolver with the same title. A longer explanation as to why I chose this title for this story could be found on my blog. Link is in my profile.
To Perfectly imperfect 253, like I promised...skip the beginning, and be wary of the last part because 'that something' I was talking about is somewhere at the end. (I hope that's enough of a warning for you.) ;)
I want to warn you about this chapter, but I don't want to give away much. So I'll just see you at the end.
Chapter 2 - Break me even more
Fisting her hair tightly, I pumped myself inside her wet and warm mouth. She was sucking like a fucking pro, and I loved it. The moans and grunts coming from her spurred me on, and I continued to fuck her mouth, never releasing the tight hold I had on her. Teeth, tongue and the warmth of her throat, plus the continued sucking motion, brought me to the edge. I didn't even warn her. I just pushed her head down closer so I was so deep in her throat I could even feel her gagging. My dick twitched and hot sticky cum spurted inside her mouth. She swallowed hungrily as if she would never have any drop of cum ever again. I held her head steady, still not relinquishing the hold on her hair. She didn't have a fucking say in this.
Not until I was ready.
Not until I was spent did I release her.
My limp cock dangled in front of her face, and she looked at it hungrily. I slumped back on the couch. She smiled and touched her lips in a soft caress. She looked smug, as if making me orgasm was an accomplishment in itself. She was not even offended at what I did.
That's her fucking problem. She allows me to treat her that way, like shit.
She smacked her lip and started to crawl on top of my lap, her heavy breasts jiggling as she moved. I pushed her away, irritated at her boldness. She looked insulted, but I didn't care. Grabbing the pack of cigarettes on the side table, I fished one out and lit up. I took a much-needed drag from the stick just as I heard the sound of a door slamming. I chuckled and shook my head in disgust. Some women were so predictable. They sulk and bitch like there was no tomorrow, but they still end up back where they started. Sucking me. Fucking me.
I leaned my head on the couch, my face looking up at the ceiling. I stared intently at the moss green paint she had chosen for her apartment and sighed at the ugliness of the color. I closed my eyes, reveling on the feel of the nicotine passing through me. It soothed me, relaxed me. Nothing was more relaxing than a smoke after a good fuck.
This was my life now. It was not great, but it was good.
I had never before settled for anything less than what I wanted, but I had to deal with what my life had become. But still, it was good.
I could live with it.
I should live with it.
As I had known would happen, she had totally forgotten how I treated her just minutes after I did. She had returned from a shower and was only clad in a towel. Putting out the remaining cigarette, I stood and pushed past her, planning to have a shower myself, but she stopped me.
"I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to ask for more. You told me what you could give and I agreed. So I'm sorry."
I gave her a nod; she seemed to be satisfied with that. She came forward and started to lean upwards when she remembered my lips were off limits, and instead just kissed my naked chest.
"Okay, I need to get ready, Lauren. Can I grab a shower here? Or if it's too much, I can go."
"No, no. Please, it's okay," she babbled, the shock was still evident on her face. This was the first time I stayed longer than fifteen minutes after having sex with her.
"Okay then," I said, trying to keep the impatience out of my voice. I looked down to where she was still holding my wrist in her hand and waited for her to release it. She did and apologized again. She was starting to annoy me with her unending and repetitive apologies; I left before I could insult her. This was her house after all, the least I could do was be nice.
The shower vaguely invigorated me. I needed to cleanse in order to remove the stench of Lauren's strong perfume.
Before I left, she begged me to come see her again; she was becoming all clingy and soft on me. I doubted I would make time for her again. I lied and told her I would.
She accepted my response and seemed to be in high spirits after that. Maybe it was because I was such a good liar and all that.
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I dropped my keys and flopped on my couch face down. I was just about to doze when I heard the door open. I groaned out loud, hating the disturbance. I'm going to fucking kill whoever it is.
"Edward, get up!"
Rosalie's voice was irritatingly loud. I covered my ears, in an attempt to tune her out. She was relentless and started to shake me hard, increasing the throbbing in my head.
"Don't you dare hide from me," she hissed, her annoyance evident in her tone. "You're hair is still a little damp so I know you just showered."
I remained still, trying to ignore her.
"Get up or I'm going to kick you!"
Her threat wasn't to be taken lightly. I turned around and glared at her. She pulled me up so I was sitting lazily, rubbing my eyes with the palm of my hands.
"What got stuck in your ass?" I asked, irritated as hell. "You're more bitchy than ever, Rose."
She threw something at me; I frowned. It was the Sunday paper. She just cocked an eyebrow as I stared blankly at her. She gave me this irritated look and moved her head in a way that said I should scan the paper.
She was so annoying and unbelievably controlling that I sometimes wondered why I still had her as my friend. Determination was reflected in her eyes, and I knew she would stand there and wait for me the whole day if she had to. Better to do what she told me to do so we could get on with our fucking day.
"What's so fucking important with this paper?" I growled, still so pissed she disturbed my attempt to go to sleep.
"Just open it."
So I did and wished that I didn't.
The paper crunched between my hands as I held it tightly. There in the society page was a familiar face that reminded me of all the things I tried to bury, tried to forget. The picture of the happy couple made my jaw tense. The overwhelming feeling of sorrow threatened to wash over me, but I pushed it away determinedly. I tried to not be affected by it all, but the happiness radiating from my former friend's face made me realize what I had lost.
Jasper and Alice were getting married the day after his birthday. That was two weeks from now. The impending nuptial was all over Chicago. I had heard about it from acquaintances and friends. Of course, I wouldn't be witness to any of it since I wasn't invited.
I never expected to be.
What was surprising was the sudden change of venue. I had heard they were getting married somewhere in Hawaii, and was relieved it was faraway it wouldn't bother me I wasn't attending. But it seemed they had other plans, and it wasn't sitting very well with me at the moment. I took a long deep cleansing breath; I closed my eyes and exhaled loudly. I needed to get myself in control.
I raised my eyes to Rosalie, trying to look nonchalant. However, she knew me so well, I couldn't hide my true feelings from her even if I tried.
"Edward, I'm sorry," she said as she enveloped me in a hug. She was kneeling in front of me so I leaned my head on her shoulder. I contemplated on what to say, not really knowing how to explain.
"She's attending I'm sure of it," I whispered, delaying thinking too much on what that meant. Chicago was a large city and there was a big chance I would not see her. "Maybe I won't even be seeing her."
"Yes, maybe. But do you think you could handle not going to her when she's here?" she asked so softly. I started to open my mouth but closed it again.
"I knew you went after her after the incident in the church," she revealed. "Edward, it has been over a year, I'm begging you to please…just let it go."
I huffed; the anger I was holding at bay was burning a steady fire within me. I was furious and it was because Rose just had to open her mouth. She knew she was asking too much from me, but she had to say those awful words that gutted my inside. What made me angrier was she was supposed to be on my side.
"How could I let it go when I was the one humiliated, Rose? When she left me there at the altar looking like a fool!" I stood angrily and started pacing. "She did it even after all she knew about me. She had too much power over me. I allowed her to have that power, and I will never be sorrier that I did! Damn her…and you for telling me to let it go because I just can't! I fucking can't….just not yet!"
Rose looked pale. I scowled at her as my chest heaved and my hands shook. I took another cigarette and lit up, still trying to control my anger. Rose knew about my life more than anyone. Her telling me to just let go was something I couldn't accept. She was brutally frank; I usually admired that from her, but not today, not now. Her audacity even appalled me. She wasn't the one who went through a series of therapy so she could just be able to fucking sleep, to be able to close her eyes even for a moment and not have Bella's face haunting her…taunting her.
Rose was watching me warily. She knew I was pissed at her, and she stood slowly. "Okay, I'm sorry, Edward. I shouldn't have said that. I was out of line."
"Damn right, you were," I growled, venting all my frustration and anger on her. "You're such a fucking bitch sometimes!"
"I said I was sorry, okay? I hate to see you still so torn up about it. She's not worth it!"
"Stop patronizing me! Fuck!"
"You have to reserve that anger for something…or someone who deserves it, " she said sharply. She just cocked an eyebrow at me before she turned to go to her room and leave me alone with my thoughts.
I knew she meant Bella. She was audience to what hell I went through after Bella left me. I could understand her worry, but I was still pissed she was egging me to make decisions I wasn't ready to make just yet. She should know better. I wouldn't let anything like that happen to me ever again. But still she had to warn me to steer away from Bella when she came back.
I would be damned if I would go anywhere near that lying, inconsiderate bitch.
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I was supposed to fly out to Italy. I was in negotiations with the billionaire recluse, Aro Volturi, at one of his resorts. But something came up, family emergency he said, so instead I was sitting in Rose's bar while I waited for her to finish serving some rowdy college students.
I was holding a beer, chatting with Seth who was bartending tonight.
"Don't worry about her. She can handle herself," he said, grinning as he wiped the table clean. Turning to where Rose was, I saw her flirt and smile as she engaged the eager boys in chatter.
"I know," I answered and turned my attention back to Seth. He had recently earned his degree in engineering, but he was in no rush to give up this job. He was earning enough to pay for his rent and his loan. Unless he could find a day job that would pay more than this, he said he was sticking to bartending.
He had been with Rose since she opened a year ago, and he was one of the hardworking ones. He was also one of those who understood how much of a ruthless boss Rose could be.
"So, did you hear about that Whitlock wedding?" he asked. He was aware I ran in the same circle with the Whitlocks, but he didn't know about what had happened a year and half ago, because if he did, he wouldn't have asked.
I shrugged nonchalantly and just drank my beer.
"Oh, I thought you knew everyone who was worth knowing here in Chicago," he continued, oblivious to the shift in my demeanor. I could feel my jaw clench in irritation.
The loud clank of the tray momentarily interrupted what was about to become a very uncomfortable conversation. Rose was finished with the students and seemed to be interested in what Seth was talking about.
"I just knew about it because a friend of mine works at the catering service doing the family dinner this coming Thursday. He said it would be one hell of a party because of the amount the groom paid just for the wine." He was cleaning his station and was engrossed in this little tale of his. "I just assumed you knew them and were invited," he babbled and was clearly not paying too much attention to me. If he was he would have caught on to my unusual silence around him.
Rose came closer, her eyes darting from me to Seth. I knew she easily saw my uneasiness. I tried to brush off everything Seth was saying but it was so hard to just be so cavalier about it all. Rose was beside me, wiping her hand with a rag.
"The groom just came back from Washington, so I'm not really familiar with him," he continued. "But the bride is Alice Brandon…the well known wedding planner." He gave me a glance before returning to rearranging the glasses. "I know about her because my sister loves everything about what Alice does. Anyway, I heard she's sassy. So I'm guessing this whole wedding next week will be interesting, don't you think?"
"Shut up, Seth," Rosalie snapped at him. "You gossip more than a girl does. Stop asking Edward about stuff we don't really wanna know." She was trying to divert his attention away from the topic. "Nor should we be interested. People like the Whitlocks are snobs."
"Oh, really? You don't think Edward is a snob," he argued, and she glared at him. "He's one of them and you still associate with him."
"If you want to keep your job here, Buddy…you better start minding your own damn business. Learn to close that fucking mouth, okay?" she said. That got him to shut up pretty quickly.
The bar was loud, but it felt eerily silent, especially after that conversation with Seth. Rosalie tapped me on my shoulder, and I raised my eyes from the beer bottle I was concentrating on.
"Are you okay?" she asked. I simply nodded. She stared for another minute then turned to go back to serving the now crowded room. There were no more words needed. She knew to leave me alone. We had been friends forever.
Rose and I had known each other since I was a little boy. She and her mom lived next door to us in Rosemont, a small town on the outskirts of Chicago. She was the only girl I knew back then who played baseball. I was six and she was seven. She was a scary little shit, and the other kids were afraid of her. She was pretty, but I didn't even look at her for fear of getting my ass kicked. When the neighboring bullies started to pick on me, she stood up for me. We had been friends ever since. We were inseparable until my mother died when I was eight and shipped to boarding school.
My grandfather, Carlisle Cullen, decided it was high time for him to have a say in my upbringing. His son and my father, Edward Sr., had disowned me even before I was born. He had gotten a lowly servant pregnant and was too ashamed to recognize the child. My mother, who was also only after their money, threatened to expose them. Carlisle couldn't have their name tainted. He ordered my mother to take care of me and paid a handsome amount for her to do that. Rosemont was where I lived for the first eight years of my life. I never saw my father since the spineless bastard died when I was two years old.
Carlisle had come to fetch me the day of my mother's funeral. He scared me, but I braved it out and scowled at him when he called for me in our little house in Rosemont. It was my last day in that town before I was sent packing to an exclusive boarding school in Europe. My grandfather thought it was the right thing to do, to afford me with the best education there was. That was the only good thing he did for me. He had disposed of me like I was nothing but offensive garbage cluttering their perfect lives. I wasn't invited to their family gatherings and parties. I wasn't family. I was just the kid who had the same last name as they did.
My life wasn't all good after that. I had some very unfortunate experiences with the pleasant and well-bred parents of my wealthy classmates when their sons invited me to their homes to spend the holidays. They had the same questions parents always asked, questions about my family and where I was from. When they realized I was with no money or connections, I was always treated with the same disdain. They considered me an opportunist that was trying to wiggle into their son's lives for reasons they considered as suspicious and undesirable.
It had been like a defense mechanism of sorts for me to deny any relation with the Cullens from Chicago. When somebody asked, I denied it every single time. So even if I still carried the name Cullen, I didn't consider being one of them. I had worked my way up to gain my own money and my own connections. There was nothing I needed.
Not until I met her three years ago. Bella.
She was like a breath of fresh air from all that was fake and superficial in our world. It was never my intention to fall in love with her, but I did. I just came from a bad relationship and wasn't looking to enter into another one; she was so carefree and so beautiful I couldn't help myself. She unknowingly enchanted me and eventually I needed to tie her to me.
Big mistake.
Something I would regret for the rest of my life.
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"Are you sure about this, Em?" I asked, sneaking a glance toward Rosalie, who was maneuvering the car easily. I knew she heard me mention Emmett's name, but she didn't show any indication that she did. She was in an on and off relationship with him, and from her reaction, I could deduce they were 'off' again.
"Yeah, man. I'll be arriving Thursday morning." Emmett's voice interrupted my musing. "That'll give me enough time for the family dinner. Besides, I don't have anything more to do here in Cannes, so I'll be there early."
"Damn, you're arrival will stop traffic again," I teased and chuckled, knowing he hated his superstar status.
"You goddamn know I hate this scrutiny on my personal life," he said loudly, sounding exasperated. I heard Rose snort at his comment. "Besides, you're better looking than I am. If you became an actor, you'd be more famous."
"Oh, shut up. You know I hate the likes of you."
"No, you love me, man." I could hear his laughter, and I couldn't help but smile. He was Alice's cousin and also one of my closest friends. He was the only one related to Bella in any way that didn't turn his back after what had happened.
I was grateful he didn't ditch me. Sometimes though, looking at him reminded me of the good times with him and Jasper. They were the only friends I had in school. They were my family. When Jasper cut me out of his life, it hurt me more than they would ever know. Not only had I lost my fucking lifeline that day in the church, I had also lost Jasper.
"Will you be in Chicago? I thought you'd be in Italy by now, investing your millions into something worthy." His voice was raspy. It must be from all those interviews for his newest flick.
"I'll explain when you get here."
"Are you sure it's okay for you to be in the same place as her?" he asked. I knew he was talking about Bella. I had planned to leave the day Rose had given me the paper. I didn't want to be anywhere near her or anybody associated with her. Somehow, I felt I needed to prove something. Call it stupidity or stubbornness, but I decided to stay. I just hoped this would not be another decision I would regret.
"Of course. Nothing to worry about, Em. I got this," I answered, trying to infuse some joy in my voice. Something I wasn't feeling…really.
"So, you wanna meet up or something?" he asked. He didn't mention anything about Rose and I made a mental note to ask him about his current relationship with my best gal.
"Sure. I'll make reservations and inform you when I do," I said. "Okay, gotta go. We just arrived at the store. See you in a couple of days."
"Okay, you better be ready to spend some of your fucking money on me." I laughed and we said our goodbyes. Rose didn't say anything about the phone call so I didn't either, giving her the space she clearly needed. If she wanted to talk about Emmett, she would.
The supermarket was just a couple of minutes away from Rose's apartment. It had been years since I entered one. My groceries were usually delivered straight to my door - one perk of having money. Since I didn't do grocery shopping, I insisted to Rose we only stay for a few minutes, just enough time to grab what was essential.
We were picking out some of the ingredients for her famous taco salad. Rose was selecting the cheese as I walked behind her, trying to see the advantage of doing this stuff myself and not finding one. That was when I head a very familiar voice.
Goosebumps broke out all over my skin and my heart started to pound erratically. The voice was so chillingly close; it was calling to me. I started to take a step towards it. Even if I was now trembling, I couldn't seem to stop.
"Don't worry, I'll be cooking this to his delight," the voice said, a hint of irritation in it.
"Are you sure about this?" another voice said.
It can't be. She doesn't do grocery shopping…just like me. I was sure it would only be someone who had a similar voice as she. Holding onto this thought, I stepped out to the meat section, and I froze.
She was here. The air in my lungs gushed out. I suddenly had difficulty breathing.
She hadn't seen me yet. She had her back to me. Even though the length was shorter than I remembered, the same brown silky hair was unmistakably hers. I was sure it was her.
"Edward?" I heard Rose ask, concern in her voice. My eyes never left the brunette who was still oblivious of my presence.
"Oh," Rose said. I knew she saw Bella.
"I don't want you to overcook it, Bells…like the last time." Alice was chastising her friend. Bella now cooks? She hated cooking.
"I won't. I promised him," Bella said and turned around. Who the fuck is Him?
I was still in shock. Everything I wanted and hated was in front of me. She had destroyed me. Now my life was just some fucking circus I barely felt I was a part of. Here she was talking about cooking. Cooking she had never done for me.
The moment she raised her eyes to me, my heart stopped for a second before racing back to life full throttle.
We stared for what seemed like hours, just taking each other in. I wanted to grab her and kiss her senseless, until she would know and feel she was my fucking world. I wanted to lose myself in her. I wanted to strangle her for what she did.
My fists were tightly clenched at my sides. I could feel Rose tugging me, but I ignored her. All my attention was focused on this woman who had left me.
My heart was tearing into a million pieces again. I didn't know what to do so I stood there, never removing my eyes from her.
Then she smiled. And my heart skipped in hope. Dammit! There's no fucking hope there! Of all the things for her to do, smiling was the last one I expected.
Then she started coming towards me and I panicked. I took a step back, trying to comprehend what was happening. Before I even blinked, she was in front of me with Alice looking warily behind her.
"Hello, Edward," she said sweetly, no animosity in her voice. She wasn't angry any more and that scared me. But she was the one who left, so it would be easier for her to act this way. Even if she had thought I was the one who had wronged her.
I didn't answer, just raised my brow at her. My shock had been replaced by my anger. She had some nerve to be friendly with me. I scowled at her, hating her so much more at this very moment.
"What the hell are you doing here?" It was Rose. She was pissed and I couldn't blame her.
"Well we –" Bella started saying, but she was interrupted.
"Bella, what do you think about this?" a man with blond hair asked. The different tomato sauces in his hands were forgotten when he saw the looks between everyone present. He went near Bella and whispered something. She smiled at him and it pissed me off more. I hissed. That got his attention.
"Who the hell are you?" I asked grittily.
He gave one of the cans he was holding to Alice and extended his hand to me. "I'm James. I'm Bella's husband."
I know, I know.
Remember I'm an E/B kinda girl/author, so you have to trust me on this. There's a valid reason why Bella is married here, and you wouldn't know about it if you ditch this story.
Okay, send me your thoughts on this.