In no time, Reyes was asking Vicci for help.

It gnawed at her, which in turn made her angry with herself. Hadn't he helped her? First with Vehn Terev, then with solving the murders in the Port? Why was this different?

Because. Because this isn't for the Initiative, or for Kadara, this is smuggling and thievery.

Which, while true, was a lie. She didn't care about that, even though she should. She was the damned Pathfinder. She had shit to do. Shit that didn't involve smuggling or other crimes. Yet here she was, in a seedy bar, agreeing to help a smuggler retrieve stolen property. But what was actually on her mind?

He loves me, he loves me not.

Vicci wanted to believe in what she felt between them, but he was so suave, it was impossible to know how much of his flirting was genuine and how much was just… bullshitting. And now this.

Is he just using me? Has that been his plan all along, to make me an asset?

What, the same way she had intended to make him an asset?

That was before.

Before what? Before she forgot who she was supposed to be and got caught up in her feelings?

Dammit.

"Ryder?"

She shook her head and looked at Reyes.

"Everything okay, Ryder?"

Seeing the look of genuine concern on his face, the clouds passed as quickly as they had come. She grinned, finished her beer, and left the bottle on the table. "You're worried about me?"

His concern became frustration that was quickly hidden behind his usual look. "Just don't want you getting cold feet on me."

This time she winked at him. "Don't worry," she said on her way out. "You'll see me soon."

"Ex? As in girlfriend?" Vicci's stomach knotted. One too many complications for me. But she stayed nonetheless. She felt like she was under a spell, enchanted by his smile, his voice, those damned green eyes. For good or ill, she knew she'd see this through.

"Girlfriend is such a strong word! We had drinks occasionally."

She would have laughed if she wasn't so anxious. Then what does that make me?

He assured her that this was about the job, not the woman. He was so easy to trust that she was probably a fool to trust him. It didn't matter.

Zia Cordier was beautiful in that overrated way that Vicci found boring. A step up, that's what it makes me. She felt petty.

"That's why you don't have any friends. You're selfish."

As usual, her mouth fired off long before her brain even joined the fray. "Reyes is a better man than you think."

"Oh honey, you've no idea how wrong you are. But you will."

Reyes' voice took on a tone she had never heard before. "Leave her out of this."

Her heart swelled.

Zia laughed. "You must really like this one, Reyes."

Pondering that held Vicci's interest more than what came next. How much stock could she put in the words of a vengeful ex?

None of it means anything. It's all just bullshit.

Nonetheless, she couldn't let go of the idea that the scales were tipping in her favor.

He loves me not...he loves me.

And then it was over. It felt weird. It was weird. Too personal.

She was worried about Reyes, and she said so. This wasn't a personal grudge, and that scared her. Of course, he deflected. She supposed she deserved that.

He seemed okay, so there was nothing to do but make an awkward departure from this awkward situation.

Back on the ship, she took a long shower, trying to wash away… everything.

She knew her showers were a luxury - someone always noticed when she was going to take one, and somehow the word always spread so that there were no interruptions, save the occasional toilet trip that probably couldn't be helped. She appreciated her crew. They were good people, and they had her back.

And she was thanking them by taking them into firefights that didn't concern them. They had signed on to help her make Andromeda their home, not defend her criminal boyfriend from his criminal ex-girlfriend.

He's not my boyfriend.

Lying in bed later, she kept hearing Zia Cordier's voice. "You've no idea how wrong you are. But you will."

Vicci tended not to listen to people who tried to kill her. And yet…

"You must really like this one."

He did, didn't he? The way he looked at her, the way he talked to her…

The way his voice lowers when he's really putting the moves on me.

Yes, that. It turned her on like crazy, sent butterflies reeling through her belly. More every time. It didn't feel like bullshit.

It feels real.

The problem is, it shouldn't feel like anything at all. Reyes Vidal had inside information on Kadara. He was of value to the Initiative. She had an obligation to leave it at that. So why couldn't she?

Why couldn't she get her shit straight and start acting like the fucking Pathfinder?

The next day, Vicci made her usual rounds, chatting up the crew, trying to get a sense for where everyone was at. She may not have Lexi's background, but she trusted herself to pick up on signs of a problem. And to be honest, she was probably doing it out of guilt.

"Ryder!" Gil greeted her enthusiastically as she entered the engine room. "I've been hoping you'd stop by."

She joined him where he stood, leaning against the railing. "Why does that make me nervous?" she grinned.

"Can't imagine. It's not as if I'd ever be up to no good." He held up his hands to demonstrate his innocence.

Like a parent, Vicci knew she shouldn't have a favorite, but she couldn't help it.

"Seriously, though. Due to your consistent failure to show up for poker night, you're a frequent topic of conversation."

Now that made her nervous. "That sounds bad."

"Not for me, it's not! It's how I find out what you're up to out there."

Still, her stomach churned.

"Look… you should know that everyone trusts you. No one's bitching about your leadership capabilities, no one's questioning your calls. You're kind of crushing this Pathfinder gig, as far as we're all concerned."

Her cheeks turned very pink. She didn't know what to say. "I… thanks for that, Gil. I mean it."

He dismissed her thanks with a wave of his hand. "That's not really what I wanted to talk about. I'm more interested in the gripping will-they-or-won't-they saga of you and a certain Resistance contact on Kadara."

Her skin was on fire under his scrutiny, her face likely as crimson as her scarf. "I don't -"

He shook his head. "Let me ask you something. Why did you come to Andromeda? What were you looking for?"

She considered this and laughed. "Adventure." Objective fulfilled, she thought wryly.

"And did you picture yourself sharing that adventure with someone?"

"I… yeah," she admitted. "I did." Reyes's grin, never far from her mind anyhow, rose to the surface.

"You can't lose that, Ryder. You can't let who you are be crushed under the weight of your responsibilities. Duty can only take you so far. At some point you have to be living for something, too." He looked at her intently.

She kind of wished he wouldn't.

Then his characteristic smirk made a brief but noticeable appearance. "So if what you want is the smooth-talking bad boy of Kadara Port, fucking go for it!"

She laughed in spite of the maelstrom of emotion in her. "You're a good man, Gil Brodie."

"Yeah, or I took three-to-one odds against 'they will' and I'm trying to cheat the system." She was happy to see the smirk back full-force.

"Why are the odds favoring 'they won't'?

"Honestly? Probably because you're taking too long."

"Yeah, well." She headed for the door, grinning. "Everybody loves an underdog story, right?"

"That's the spirit!"

She felt… different. "Better" felt like an understatement.

These are my people. Fuck what anyone else thinks.