A/N: So this chapter is based on the song Haunted, by TSwift, of course. It's really a shame I've never heard it on the radio – one of my friends at NJYS first introduced it to me. Haunted is actually a really dark, chaotic song, which I found interesting coming from the person who sings it. Anyways, check it out on Youtube, and I hope you like this new chapter of APOM! It's in Ryoma's POV, by the way.
Disclaimer: If I owned PoT, I wouldn't be on here, ne? My mind is on autopilot.
It's like a mental blackout. Everything is silent yet incredibly loud, the sounds running into each other until all I hear is a warped garble. As I lean unsteadily on the elevator railing, trying to pull the situation into clarity, someone grabs my arm. Looking to the left, I see it's Osakada. Her face is pale, her pupils are dilated, and she's shaking visibly. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I hear oyaji telling me to comfort the girl in these times, but how can I when my own muscles have turned to ice?
You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
but I never thought I'd live to see it break
It's getting dark and it's all too quiet
And I can't trust anything now
And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake
I just can't think. Fragments of thoughts spin through my mind at a million miles per hour, too fast to grasp at. This cannot be happening. This just cannot be happening.
Her body falling, limbs flopping gracefully yet limply, like a broken rag doll's. Eyes half-lidded, as if she were already in a different world. One where I can't reach her, see her, rope her hopelessly by my side.
Oh, I'm holding my breath
Won't lose you again
something's made your eyes go cold
The elevator doors slide open with a soft ding, briefly blinding me with sterile white light. For a moment, I'm lost. Where am I? Why is the world all of a sudden so dark and unfamiliar and unstable? A wave of antiseptic stings the back of my nose, and the reason I'm here drops back down onto my back like a ton of sandbags.
Pushing Osakada off roughly, I tear out of the elevator and dash down the long, long hallway. Small plastic tags with room numbers flash by, I'm only looking for one. 1876, where are you where are you where are you?
At last, I skid to a halt. Placing a tentative hand on the doorknob, I pause for a moment. Should I go in? There are voices inside talking excitedly, so maybe it's okay. The thought makes my heart thump and swell painfully, and without a second thought I barge in.
"Ah, Echizen-kun!"
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
You're all I wanted
My eyes widen. Ryuzaki is sitting upright in a hospital bed, smiling brightly at me. Immediately, the heavy weight on my back disappears and is replaced by something far, far worse. What used to be sluggishness in my limbs has turned into a gaping hole, the edges slowly disintegrating and plunging into a black numbness, sucking me in. My legs give way under me, and only distantly do I hear the voices of senpai-tachis.
"Nya, Sakuno-chan, Ochibi must have been really worried about you! He fell down in relief that you're okay! Ah, young love!"
"Nooo…my data has been defeated! I predicted there would be a 95% chance that Echizen would have no reaction!"
"Saa, then perhaps he needs some of your energy-boosting tea, Inui."
Ryuzaki laughs nervously. "Please stop it, senpai-tachis. I'm flattered that Echizen-kun was worried about me, but you're really over exaggerating this."
…the hell? Since when have I been Echizen-kun? Heat flushes through my veins, causing an inexplicable frustration to explode inside my chest.
"Stupid Eiji-senpai," I mutter, getting up quickly. "I just got infected by Ryuzaki's klutziness. This hospital recirculates air, so it's probably a plague by now."
Okay, that was a pretty stupid answer.
Luckily, or not, Ryuzaki speaks up before my senpais can berate me or chuckle about "being young, being young."
"Besides, you know Echizen-kun and I aren't like that. He's dating Tomo-chan, after all! I'd never like him like that."
And just like that, the air in the room disappears.
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can't breathe whenever you're gone
Can't turn back now, I'm haunted
"Eh? Sakuno-chan, but but but but but…" Eiji-senpai sputters.
"He's your FIRST LOVE," Momo-senpai finishes, flapping his arms.
Ryuzaki looks beyond confused now. Her face is flushed, half with embarrassment, half with anger. Wait, anger?
"I don't know what you're talking about, Momoshiro-senpai," she says narrowing her eyes, "but I am definitely NOT in love with Echizen-kun. And I never have been. Please don't say things that will make Tomo-chan misunderstand."
Stood there and watched you walk away
From everything we had
But I still mean every word I said to you
He would try to take away my pain
And he just might make me smile
But the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead
The pregnant silence that follows Ryuzaki's last statement is finally interrupted by a loud cough.
"What are you all doing in here at once? My granddaughter needs rest!" The old hag suddenly bursts through the door, grabs Eiji-senpai, Momo-senpai, and me by the collar, and drags us back into the hallway, yelling at the other regulars to do the same.
"Honestly, don't you know how to treat sick people?" she scowls, ignoring the sweatdrops of passerby. "I'm going to talk to Sakuno now, and I don't want to hear a PEEP from any of you, or you'll ALL be running 100 laps while drinking Inui's newest Penal-Tea at practice tomorrow!" She turns around and stomps back into Ryuzaki's room, shutting the door firmly behind her.
As soon as she's gone, there's a heavy hand on my shoulder. I'm spun around and find myself facing seven pairs of very serious, very angry eyes.
"So Echizen, what's going on?"
Oh, I'm holding my breath
Won't see you again
something keeps me holding on to nothing
As if things couldn't get any worse, Osakada magically appears and throws herself onto my chest, sobbing hysterically and whimpering "Ryoma-sama!" over and over again. My senpai-tachis stares could fire a laser through a concrete wall by now. Sighing, I carefully extricate myself from Miss Loudmouth's chokehold and look down at the floor.
"I'm with Osakada…sorta."
But even as the words leave my mouth, I'm struck by how wrong everything feels. Her name comes out chunky and harsh, unlike the smooth flow of Ryuzaki's. She's really annoying right now too. Can't the girl just SHUT UP for once? All I want at this moment is a soft smile, a gentle but reassuring hand on my own, an easy silence…
I want Ryuzaki.
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
You're all I wanted
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can't breathe whenever you're gone
Can't turn back now, I'm haunted
It's funny in a sick way almost. I was so used to her presence; even if it wasn't next to mine. Before I could help it, her fumbling but sincere habits became a daily part of my life. A source of peace, an oasis. I'm addicted. To that simple "I just want to be with you, Ryoma-kun." To that feeling of not having anything expected of me, so every little thing is a delightful surprise.
It was her innocence, I think.
I know, I know, I just know
You're not gone. You can't be gone. No.
After what seems like an eternity, I manage to leave everyone behind in the hospital. In a blind daze, I get back into the elevator. When it hits the ground floor, I'm the first one out. Running through the brightly lit reception area, through the automatic glass doors that open with a whoosh.
It's raining outside.
Heavy cloud sheets the color of steel wool pour down buckets of water. I'm quickly soaked through to the bone, my hair plastered against my head, sneakers sopping wet. What's rainwater and what's cold tears, I don't know the difference.
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
Won't finish what you started
What is Ryuzaki doing now, I wonder? Is she with her grandma? With Osakada? Does she remember that she hasn't talked to me or Miss Loudmouth for three months now?
Has she already wandered away from my sphere of life?
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Can't breathe whenever you're gone
Can't go back, I'm haunted
For the second time today, I feel myself falling. A few hospital workers look at me in concern as I slide wide-eyed down the pillar I'm leaning against for support. But no one pays too much attention. Just another shell-shocked teenage boy, dealing with some typical teenage angst.
Just another kid who's realized something important, too little, too late.
Just someone who's lost. Completely, utterly, 6 games to love, lost.
Fucking karma. Oh You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
Never ever thought I'd see it break.
Never thought I'd see it...