Breakwater

The day was bright, sunny. Maura was already busy making breakfast when Jane woke up. After getting dressed, Jane made a beeline for the fresh cup of coffee that Maura had made for her. Neither said anything beyond a slightly awkward 'G'morning' - almost as if they had an implicit arrangement.

It was just like any other morning.

But as they moved around the kitchen, Jane became quite aware that they functioned like a long-time married couple in a perfect, silent synchrony. She blocked the thought, as she had done with all other thoughts regarding the previous night, and focused on the wonderful coffee while doing a routine check on her oddly silent phone.

"Maura..." mumbled Jane, holding her phone up for Maura to see.

"Do we have a call?" Maura started searching in her bag for her phone.

"No, no calls. Do you know what day it is?"

"Yes, it is Friday."

Jane turned off her phone and slouched. "Nope. It's Saturday."

Maura looked baffled.

"I should still go to the precinct…" Jane told Maura, but it sounded almost as a question.

"On a Saturday? Why?" Maura cut a piece of her toast.

"Need to get out." Jane stopped and looked at Maura freezing in mid-motion, mortified. "No, no, don't get me wrong…"

"That's understandable. I can use with a bit of fresh air myself, to be honest." She took a small sip from her mug. "You know, your workload will not disappear for working one Saturday." Maura's voice was firm. "Let's go out for brunch."

"Brunch? As long as they have loads of bacon and oily eggs." Jane quipped, shrugging. "But yes, maybe you're right. It's going to be good to be out." She frowned as she heard the words leave her mouth. "Hm. That did not sound good."

Maura looked at her confused. Jane sighed.

The doctor, still oblivious, began to clear the kitchen counter. "Finish your coffee and grab your coat. I have a wonderful idea."

.

"Gloucester?" Jane looked at the fishing boats on the busy harbor and grinned. "Do you realize that George Clooney is not really a fisherman living here, right?" Her eyes lit up, amused. "Let's hope we don't get a Perfect Storm today."

Maura dismissed the quip with a smile and a sweep of her hand. "Research shows that the sound of waves alters wave patterns in the brain inducing a deeply relaxed state. It helps rejuvenate the mind and body."

Jane rolled her eyes, exasperated also by the effect of the strong sea breeze on her hair. She held her mane in place with one hand, blowing rebel strands off her face. "Sure. Untying knots is a relaxing exercise. I am younger already."

Maura rummaged her bag, smiling. She stretched her hand, holding a fancy elastic band. "Come with me. I know this quaint little coffee shop, perfect for brunch."

After a considerable amount of bickering, Jane had to admit that Maura's plan was actually a good one, in an unexpected kind of way. The place was nice, the coffee even better, and the day was actually warm and sunny for October. The people around them strolled as if on holidays. Even Maura's face was completely distended, her eyes lost in something outside the window. For a moment the whole world seemed at peace. Except for her. She closed her eyes, took a slow, deep breath and let the strong coffee aroma and the buzz of the place envelop her, while the sun streaming through the window warmed her face, blocking out thoughts and memories.

As she relaxed, she started to distinguish all those different emotions she had been drowning in for a week. She could taste guilt, frustration. Riding under them, an overarching weakness that fed them both. And above all of it, the most recent confusion and a new need she did not dare to name.

Jane had no idea why it had happened; the detective in her cringed at her inability to see clues or to understand motives. A moment of needy weakness didn't explain why she enjoyed so much what had happened between them.

She felt Maura's hand on her arm. Jane smiled apologetically and made an effort to disarm the mounting inner roller coaster.

"I want to show you something." Maura raised a hand towards the waitress.

Maura drove out of town along the bay. A short while later they parked by the sea, close to the longest breakwater that Jane had ever seen. It seemed to be at least half a mile into the ocean, with a tiny dot of a building at the end.

"Oh god. You are not serious." Jane pointed at the endless rocky construction tearing the sea.

Maura nodded and laced her arm through Jane's. "We're going for a little stroll. It's a perfect day: no waves, not too cold, even the wind has stopped. It will be good for us."

As they walked, Maura gave her a brief history of the breakwater. "Even before they had finish building it, almost 40 ships had crashed into it. And still, it was safer than the reef below. It was built at the turn of the century, in 1902 and..." Maura's voice trailed off as she realized Jane was not really listening.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, passing a few lone fishermen along the way.

Jane allowed herself to take in the beauty of the open sea. The wind had become a mellow fresh breeze, and she could feel the midday sun warming her face.

A while later they arrived at the steel pillars that supported a small wooden white building with a striking red roof. They sat on one of the rocks beneath the structure, the sun behind them. The water was calm and extending far beyond their sight.

Looking at the length of the breakwater and how far they were from the shore, Jane silently prayed for the weather to stay calm. She sat back, leaning on her hands behind her, knees bent. All she could hear were the gentle waves lapping at the rocks beneath them.

The surrounding emptiness made the intensity inside rush back out, overwhelming her. She felt so far from everything, from everyone. And yet, they were all here with her: Vania, her killer, all the killers, the victims, their families and… And Maura.

Oh god, I kissed Maura… She sat up, her elbow on one knee, covering her face with a hand. Maura was right; this place does things to you. Jane felt chest starting to expand. She swallowed the knot building up, took a deep but quiet breath hoping Maura wouldn't notice, and pressed her lips together to stop them from trembling. Her fists closed tight inside her pockets, but eventually the tears won the battle. She wiped the first one as casually as she could, and something akin a steely fury crept over the wake of her fingers.

"Why, Maura? Why…" The words came out in a hoarse whisper. Jane shook her head, snorting in disdain. "I am so weak…"

Maura's instinctive reaction was to touch Jane to soothe her, but her friend needed to get it all out of her chest - no over protection this time, she decided.

"How could I loose it like that?" Jane kept shaking her head. "And why can't I stop thinking about your… you know… our…?" Jane cast her eyes down, defeated in the battle to keep her emotions in check, but strangely relieved after having opened up.

"I know I said it already, but I am truly sorry, Jane, specially considering the weight you've been bearing."

Jane shifted her head and looked at Maura at out of the corner of her eye. "We should forget it, right?" Jane ventured.

Maura looked away, far into the sea, and took a deep breath. "Can I speak frankly?"

Jane raised an eyebrow. "Do you ever not?" The words sounded sarcastic, but they were born out of fear. Jane wasn't sure she was ready to hear what Maura had to say.

Maura laughed. "True." She let the sea breeze fill her, absorbing some of that relaxing magic it was supposed to have. "I keep thinking that what happened must have been a sum of factors, but not necessarily equating to a substantial change in the nature of our relationship."

Jane raised both eyebrows. "Say what?"

Maura pursed her lips, blinked twice, and looked down at her manicured fingers as they played with the hem of her coat. "I have realized that we have tendency to flirt with each other, however unintentionally, and that it might have been hiding something."

"I do not flirt with you, Maura!" Jane frowned, wincing.

"We do, Jane. It's part of our usual friendly banter. It always amused me because it's harmless. Never gave it a second thought. Until now, that is. " Maura expected another interruption, but it didn't come. "It may have been hiding something we're not equipped to detect or expect."

"I'm a detective. I would have detected it", Jane retorted.

"Perhaps. It is not uncommon for people to discover changes later in life."

"I'm not later in life!"

"But you are. And so am I." Maura flickered one shoulder. "In any case, that is not the point I was trying to make."

"And the point is?" Jane was dreading the point.

"I think we should double-check the evidence we have at our disposal to reassess the situation."

Jane stared at Maura, lines crossing her forehead. "Should we autopsy ourselves?"

Maura smiled. After a brief pause, she straightened up, summoning all the courage she could muster. "Actually, I was thinking of kissing you again, but without an emotional build-up or physical intimacy prior to it, to confirm that it was an odd occurrence due to a heightened emotional state."

Jane froze, her blinking the only movement in her body.

Maura spoke with a calm voice as composed as if doing a routine examination. "Unless, of course, you prefer to let time erase the memory, and never speak of it again."

"I… well… I do not want to talk about it, but... Shit, I don't know." Jane admitted in a whisper, looking towards the sea.

Maura saw Jane's expression change, from shocked to pensive to resolved.

Suddenly, Jane turned her head towards Maura, holding her eyes for a few seconds with an indescribable expression.

Then she spoke again.

"Kiss me."

It was little more than a hoarse whisper, but to Jane those words sounded as loud as a cannon. Her bravado was meant to tell the world that she was not weak, that she was not a coward, and that she was not afraid. But suddenly she felt terrified.

Maura wasn't sure she had heard correctly until she saw Jane looking at her as a deer would look at an oncoming car. She looked so adorable with her eyes opened wide, her eyebrows pushing towards each other, trembling.

"Are you sure?" softly questioned Maura.

"I thought you wanted to?" replied Jane, her resolve waning. "Let's get it over and done with."

Maura close the distance between them, leaning on one hand, eyes fixed on Jane's expectant gaze. Every inch she covered brought with it a different sensation. First, anticipation and doubt. Then, the dread of ruining everything. And finally, as she was two inches from Jane's lips and lowered her eyes to focus on them, she felt a tremor cursing through her entire body.

She covered the last inch and brushed Jane's lips with her own. She did not apply pressure. It was a tentative probe. The rushing sound in her ears shocked her. Her whole body reacted with such intensity that she felt dizzy.

The experiment was not yielding the expected results, she decided, breaking the contact as slowly as she had initiated it, eyes still closed, terrified of opening them and seeing Jane's reaction, of admitting her own reaction.

Before she could open them again, she felt Jane's lips again. This time, the contact was fuller; the touch infused with a timid sensuality that made her heart beat in every place of her body.

Maura allowed herself to get lost in it, feeling a hunger she had not felt the first time around. She needed more contact. Her free hand moved up towards Jane. Her fingers found Jane's face, her soft neck, and pulled her closer.

The kiss deepened, and Maura heard Jane's faint whimper against her lips. At that moment, Jane stopped the free fall. Their lips separated, but they stayed together, foreheads touching, eyes closed.

"Damn." Jane whispered hoarsely.

"Language, Jane…"

Jane laughed, leaning backwards.

The rush of cold air on her skin made Maura shiver. She searched for Jane's eyes. They were focused on her, pleading.

Maura lightly caressed her face and smiled. "I'm not sure what to say, Jane."

"Bad, bad time to run out of theories and studies." Jane's lips attempted a smile but her frown betrayed it.

Maura looked down. After a moment, she extended her hand towards Jane, palm up. Jane's own hand hesitated, but reached out and locked with Maura's..

"Jane?"

"Mm?"

Maura smiled at the vast ocean at her feet, then smiled at Jane.

"No matter what, we are going to get through this, together. That's what best friends are for, right?"

Jane squeezed Maura's hand and smiled tenderly at her friend.

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A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! Please drop a line, your reviews mean a world to my writing.