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Chuckles let out an annoyed roar as he plunged his blade into yet another dried out draugr. The dremora was completely surrounded by the undead fiends. Theryl was leaning against a wall, pleasantly reading, for the fifth time, his favorite novel: The Lusty Argonian Maid. The duo had made their way through the crypt killing both draugr and vampire on their way. Theryl's hangover was gone, but he saw no reason to help his dremora servant. Creatures such as these were an irritation to a being as mighty as Chuckles.

"'There won't be any draugr here, master,'" Thery said sarcastically. He licked the tip of his index finger and turned a page. Chuckles growled and furiously hacked at the remaining draugr. The beasts fell to the ground, their centuries old lives finally over.

Chuckles sheathed his blade. The dremora paused for a moment to catch hus breath and survey the swathe of death and destruction he had left.

"I believe that we can attribute that particular statement to what you humans call 'Wishful Thinking.' Also, you could have helped. Together we would have made quick work of these pests, but instead you chose to stay back and read your smut. You may have forgotten, but we need to find what these vampires are after. Time is off the essence."

Theryl yawned, shoving his book into his satchel. "First of all this book is not smut. It's a timeless classic."

"It is tepid pornography at best."

Theryl ignored Chuckles's criticism and continued speaking. "Secondly, relax, we'll just do what we always do: kill any and everything we see. It always works out in the end, doesn't it? Since when do you care so much about saving mortals, anyway?"

"I do not," Chuckles snarled, "but we have a job to do. A task that you swore to take care off. As your servant it is my duty to ensure that you carry out yours."

The duo were in a dark, expansive chamber. After wandering through the crypt for what felt like hours they had finally come into this room, walking head-first into a battle of draugr vs vampire. Chuckles had taken care of business easily enough. He had dispatched the bloodsuckers before turning his attention to the draugr. Now that the coast was clear, Theryl made his way to the center of the platform where there were a series of concentric rings and chalices.

"I wish we could go back to the old days where you constantly tried to kill me," Theryl said. "I don't like this new you, Chuckles. You're so tame, so servile. It's tragic, really."

"I stopped trying to kill you because you refuse to die," Chuckles said through clenched teeth. "I have never, in my entire existence, come across a mortal who is so foolish and destructive. Normally the super-powerful at least have the dignity to set themselves up as Gods."

Theryl finished inspecting the structure. There was a podium in the center that resembled the other chalices except this one had an intmidating spike sticking out of it.

"Why would I want to be a God," Theryl said. He stuck his hand onto the spike, letting his blood fill the chalice. "I've met a few Gods and they honestly weren't that impressive." Once the chalice had had its fill of his blood, he withdrew his hand, healing his wound with his restoration magic. The chamber was bathed in a soft glow as several blue lights came into existence. "They're mostly content to fill their days pining for the love of the mortals they so despise. Anyway, can you push those things for me? Line them up with the glowing blue lines? Seriously, I can't believe that someone created a magical barrier like this. Must have been a Nord."

"You are a Nord, master," Chuckles said, lining up the stone chalices with the edge of the blue lights.

"And as a Nord I am free to deride my people's terrible understanding of magic."

Chuckles slid the last chalice into place. There was an echoing click as a mechanism triggered. Theryl and Chuckle stood back, readying themselves for anything. The stone pillar in the center of the room that had tasted Theryl's blood began to rise, revealing a stone cylinder.

"Interesting," Theryl said.

The cylindrical structure slid open, the sound of stone grinding against stone echoing throughout the chamber. Theryl's eyes widened as he saw what lay inside. It was a woman; a sleeping beauty who had her arms crossed about her pale chest. And on her back, held in place by some sort of string or strap, was an Elder Scroll.

"Very interesting," Theryl said, eyeing the golden scroll. The sleeping woman fell forward, no longer secured by her cylindrical prison. Theryl rushed forward, catching her before she hit the ground. She had slender limbs, high cheekbones, and short hair that barely tickled her shoulders. Her eyelids fluttered open and Theryl's brows raised as he found himself looking into a pair of blood-red eyes.

"Who. . ." The woman's voice was nothing more than a pleasant whisper that carried throughout the cavern. "Who are you?"

"Me?" Theryl asked. "My name is Theryl, but a pretty girl like you can call me anything you like."

Chuckles groaned and rolled his eyes. The daedra was too familiar with the way his master behaved around attractive women. Or unattractive women. Basically any female between the ages of 18 and 45, honestly.

The vampire girl shook her head and slowly blinked. "Excuse me? Your name is Theryl?"

"Correct my dear. And what, may I ask, is yours?"

"Serana. My name is Serana." She straightened up and took a look at her surroundings. Her eyes passed over the bodies of both vampire and draugr without revealing a flicker of emotion. When she finally saw Chuckles standing in the shadows, casually leaning against a pillar, she froze.

"So, you're a mage. A master summoner," Serana said.

"Among other things, yes," Theryl said. "Now, Serana, forgive my lack of manners, but I'm afraid that I must get to the point. Perhaps you'd like to tell me a bit about yourself. Like why you were sleeping in this cave and being hunted by a group of angry vampires."

"That's a story that I don't feel comfortable discussing with a stranger," Serana said, dusting off her skirt. "Suffice it to say that I have a lot of family drama to contend with. Namely a power hungry father who is desperately searching for something. Something that he loves more than his wife. More than his only daughter."

"Elder Scrolls do tend to have a corrupting effect on men, yes," Theryl said.

Serana pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. "Look all you want, Theryl, but this scroll is mine. Try to take it and I'll kill you."

Chuckles snorted. "Good luck," He said under his breath.

Theryl smiled widely and put his hands up. "Wow, you've only known me for two minutes and you're already threatening to kill me. That's a new record, I think."

"And what about you?" Serana asked, crossing her arms and regarding Theryl with both curiosity and suspicion. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I'm here on behalf of an organization called the Dawnguard. They're vampire hunters."

Serana took a step back and placed a hand on the hilt of a small dagger that was attached to her waist. "I should have figured as much."

"Relax, I said that they are vampire hunters. Not me. I kill without prejudice. Trust me."

"Right, well, I think that it's time I take my leave. Good-bye, Theryl. Maybe we'll meet again."

Serana spun on her heels and took off towards the stairs on the far side of the cavern. These ancient crypts that dotted Skyrim were plagued by uninspired design and secret backdoors that were unreachable from the outside.

"You're not seriously about to let her walk away, are you?" Chuckles asked.

Theryl stroked his beard, deep in thought. "Three."

Serana bounded up the stairs, her movements becoming more fluid as her body slowly recovered from its state of atrophy.

"Two."

She reached the platform at the top of the stairs and halted. Several death-hounds emerged from the shadows followed by their master vampires. Serana unsheathed her dagger and prepared to engage them in battle.

"One."

A loud blast echoed throughout the cavern as the lid of an ancient coffin on that same platform exploded upwards. A powerful draugr—an overlord, Theryl thought—emerged from the coffin ready to defend his crypt from all outsiders.

"And there we go," Theryl said. A three way battle began between Serana, the vampires, and the powerful draugr.

"She's doing rather well," Chuckles said. "But she won't last forever. She's too outnumbered. I repeat my question. What are you going to do? I know from experience that you aren't one to pass up a chance to slither between an attractive woman's legs."

"I could kill her," Theryl said. "Honestly, it might be the most prudent thing to do. The vampires are obviously after that Elder Scroll. I could kill her, take the Elder Scroll, and just keep it. Eventually I'd be able to weed out where the vampires are coming from."

Chuckles nodded. "Isran would approve."

"Or I can let her live. Convince her to let me help her, and see where this goes. What began as a simple series of vampire attacks has suddenly become so much more delicious. An Elder Scroll is basically guaranteed entertainment."

"Isran would not approve of you letting a vampire live."

"Isran will keep his mouth shut and do what I say before I bring Fort Dawnguard crashing down around his ears," Theryl said. The dragonborn shivered, his palms began to glow as he rapidly gathered lightning energy. On the platform above the battle raged just as Chuckles predicted. Both the enemy vampires and the mighty draugr were mostly focused on Serana. She was doing her best, but she was also flanked on all sides by powerful enemies.

"I think I'm coming down with something, Chuckles," Theryl's entire body now glowed with energy; he had become a beacon in the dimly lit space.

Chuckles flashed a wolfish grin and took two steps back. "Coming down with what, master?"

"A sudden burst of severe competence."

Theryl fired a beam of pure electrical energy that crashed into two death-hounds, reducing the dogs to ash and exploding the wall of rock behind them. Serana barely had time to react to the lightning storm before it was over and she had to dodge a surprise attack from the draugr. There was another flash of blue light and Serana gasped as she found Theryl standing directly behind her. The draugr, sensing the soul of the dragon that lay inside Theryl, let out a burst of Unrelenting Force that blew Serana right into Theryl's arms. The dragonborn however, was not moved.

"Your thu'um is weak, just like all of your traitors who sold your souls to your dragon masters," Theryl said. The dragonborn took a deep breath and let out his own shout.

"FusRoDah!"

The dragonborn's Unrelenting Force surged across the platform, slamming into the draugr, sending the undead creature flying across the platform and crashing into the stone wall. The draugr fell to the ground, the last embers of life extinguished from his eyes.

Serana opened her mouth to speak, but was forced to turn her head as Theryl unleashed a powerful gout of flame that torched the vampires who had tried to rush the pair as they were distracted, reducing them to ash.

"See, if you'd have done that instead of skimming pornography we would have been back in the fresh air already," Chuckles said. The daedra had taken his time climbing the stairs, knowing better than any that his master was never in any danger.

"But then it wouldn't be any fun, my dear Chuckles," Theryl said. "Your enemies need to believe that they have a fighting chance otherwise it's not good sport."

Serana pulled herself free from Theryl's arms, surveying the destruction the dragonborn had caused—the piles of ash and the giant boulders that had been blasted free—with wide eyes. "What. . .what are you?"

Theryl smiled. "Why don't we take a step outside of this stale air and have a conversation, huh? Don't worry, I promise not to kill you."