"A month later, Dean had ganed an angel, Castiel, and one day, while Dean and Sam were out, Castiel appeared behind me. There was no denying to myself that I fancied Castiel, I mean, he was gorgeous so, when I spun round and bumped into him, the butterflies started. Castiel still hadn't learnt the need people had for personal space, so he was close enough that I could feel his warm breath on my face. "Where is Dean?" "He-he's out with S-Sam," I replied and my eyes and stutter must have gave me away because Cas' face straightened and his eyes widened. "I don't know . . .I mean I haven't . . .I'm not supposed to be allowed to experience human emotions." "Just just do what you want to do, forget the rules," I whispered, figuring he had just given me permission. Castiel stepped forward and awkwardly, he put his hands on the back of my waist. I put my hands on the back of his neck and pulled his face down to meet mine. As I began kissing him, Castiel took a deep breath but began to relax. He quickly kissed me back and a few seconds later he had tightened his arms and threw himself into the kiss. I pulled away and looked at him, suprised. "Dean made me watch porn, this is what the pizza man did," he said. I couldn't help laughing but Castiel cut me off. After a few more minutes of kissing, I could feel his growing erection, straining against his trousers but I decided not to mention it. Castiel broke the kiss and whispered, "do you feel that? I have a . . .boner." "Dean?" I asked and Castiel nodded. "I can feel it, big boy." I went back to kissing him with more heat and passion and neither of us heard Dean and Sam come in until Dean shouted. "What the hell is going on?!" I spun round to see Dean, looking seriously pissed off. "Dean, I am very sorry," Cas said and stepped forward. "Yeah, it looks like it," Dean snarled and with that he turned and stormed out. "Cas, I think you should . . ." Sam hinted. Castiel nodded and disappeared. "Do you wanna tell me what was going on?" Sam asked, sounding as pissed off as Dean looked. "Cas turned up and I guess he worked out that I am . . .was attracted to him," I answered. "And it never occurred to you not to make a move, or move away from him?" "Why are you so upset about it?" I threw my arms up in the air. "Why do you think Cas apologised to Dean? Why do you think Dean stormed out?" "Cause he walked in and me and Cas were . . .you know." I shrugged. "No, it's because Cas knows how Dean feels about you!" Sam was still shouting. "What the hell do you mean 'how he feels about me'?" "Ever since the incident in the car, Dean has been carrying a torch for you," he softened up. "What? That's crazy," I shook my head. "Think about it; on hunts he is more protective than usual. If you ever need anything, he is the one to make sure you have it and if you are hurt or upset, he won't leave your side until you're back to yourself," Sam explained and as the words sunk in, everything seemed to be true. "So why didn't he do anything? Was he just waiting until he had competition before bringing it up? And he hasn't even brought it up now, you have," I stressed. "I don't know, but what I do know is that, right now, he is not angry, he is upset." "Well, what am I supposed to do?" I hung my head. "What are you supposed to do?! You're supposed to go after him!" Sam shouted at me and I slunk past him, letting myself out. Outside, I had no idea where to start looking for Dean so I just started to wander around and eventually found him ten minutes way, sat on a swing. I went and sat next to him. "Dean, I-" "Don't give me the 'it didn't mean anything, we were caught in the moment' crap, okay?" "I didn't know I was doing anything wrong!" I yelled at him. "No, but Cas did and he should have turned away. Hell, you could have turned away," Dean told me and he was visablly upset. "You were the one who made him watch porn, how did you expect him to react when a female showed interest in him?" "Oh, so this is my fault, is it?" "No, I didn't say that. But do you expect me to feel guilty about kissing someone else when I didn't even know you were in love with me?" "Whoa! What? I am not in love with you!" Dean stood up. "Well, you better go and tell your brother that, because that's what he seems to think," I pointed in the direction of the motel. "And if you ain't, then why the hell are you acting like this?" "What was I supposed to say after nearly a year of hunting together? 'Oh, by the way, I love you.' I didn't know if you would feel the same and after what I've just seen, I'm guessing you don't now." "I thought you said you weren't in love with me?" "I lied okay! I'm in love with you! So now you know!" "If this all started after what happened in the car, then you could have told me afterwards. I mean, you could have told me you wanted me as more than a friend, that you loved me." "If I told you, I didn't know how you would react, I thought you wouldn't feel the same and things would get awkward and you would suggest you went your own way." "So you decided to just keep quiet so you could take advantage of me hugging you, without me knowing that you . . ." I faded off. "I was going to tell you-" Dean started but I interrupted. "When? When you finally had competition? When someone else showed interest? And what now? What happens now?" "You're with Cas now, aren't you?" Dean sneered. "Oh, for fucks sake, will you grow up?! It was just one kiss and after tonight, there sure as hell won't be anything else happening. You made damn sure of that. Do you think I would have kissed him if I knew how you felt? And don't you dare blame Cas, he obviously thought you were never going to say anything, so he thought it was alright, if he liked me, to make a move himself!" I shouted. "And I bet he feels so guilty right now. I bet he hates himself but I know you will forgive him. What about me?" "What about you? Well, I'll tell you what I think you should do; I think you should let me and Sam go on without you, it will be easier for everyone, easier for me!" "You just said you didn't want to tell me how you felt in case I wanted to go my separate way and now you're telling me that's what you want me to do. And I suppose you're going to do the whole 'I never want to see you again.' You know what Dean? You are so immature, throwing a tantrum just because it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to. Well you couldn't have changed that if you'd told me earlier how you felt!" "Me and Sam are going. Tonight. You're stuff will be at reception. Don't come back to the motel until we have gone, about half an hour," Dean said, emotionless. "If you need anything you have got Sam's number, I want you to delete mine." "Oh, believe me, I don't want yours or Sam's number, I'll delete them both. You're just like a child, 'she kissed someone else so I don't like her anymore.' And you can't have loved me that much if you are treating me like this!" Without saying anything, Dean got up off the swing and left me sat on the other one, alone. "Seeya Dean," I said quietly, but obviously not quiet enough. "No, you won't."