Heyy Guys! Emily here again! Yeah I decided to post both the chapters today =) I had wrote in school during math * Kind of Zoned out and I had learned it in November with another teacher*So yeah I typed it up and here is the result. Not my best work but still new to this whole writing thing =) But REVIEWS MAKE THE WORLD GO AROUND. So Anyway on with the story! Still in the song fic mode hehe =)
Song: Call me when you're sober
By: Evanescence
I do not own Degrassi. If I did that new in too deep promo WOULD BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND. And Also I would be with Eli and Clare would have a cat =) hehe =)
Eli POV:
"Eli, you're suffocating me!" Clare got up and screamed.
I stood their stunned and completely confused. What Just happened?
"What?" I replied still confused.
"Eli… I think we need a break, just some alone time; for the two of us?" she said but it came out as more as a question.
My heart sank. I couldn't believe this was happening.
"Clare what's wrong?" I said really concerned. She has been fine the other day.
"Nothing!" She spat.
"I-I Just need some time to sort some things out alone." She said stuttering every word.
"What? I thought we were long term… That we'd always be there for each other." I told her in a raspy voice.
"I'm sorry Eli… I have to um, go. Goodbye Eli." She said walking away as tears threatened to fall.
Why was she crying? I was the one who had just been dumped. What had gone wrong? I didn't understand! Things were going great between us! At least I thought it was… But what if; No. What if Clare wasn't on the same page as me? I thought we were both in love with each other.
I mean we never said it to each other but it was there, you could tell. A sudden wave of anger rushed over me. All I did was try to protect her! I didn't want what happened to Julia to repeat with Clare. I couldn't go through that again. But now it's even worse. Clare is gone and nothing I can do or say can change that.
3 weeks later…
Clare and I hadn't spoken in over 3 weeks. It was pure torture. Adam tried to help I just pushed him away. With the date of Julia's – Julia's Death arriving soon, I was in no mood to do anything. I hadn't spoken a work to anyone in almost 2 weeks. It was like I was dead, in my own living hell. A life without Clare is hell.
I was just moping around in my room, the room Clare had help me clean out to deal with my hoarding issues; my phone rang. I reached for my nightstand to get my phone. I checked the caller ID. Clare? Why would Clare be calling me? She dumped me. Remember? Maybe she just wants to be friends. I couldn't do that. Even the sight of Clare made my heart hurt. I was still in love with her; nothing and no one could change that. If we were friends I would have to try so hard to refrain from kissing her right then and there. It wouldn't end for me. I thought about it for a moment. But I let it go to Voicemail.
Today was April 22nd. Also known as the date Julia died. I felt like hell. I looked like hell, and I was in no mood to face was day had to offer. I got dressed in my normal attire and headed out to Morty. I drove into school and the first thing I saw was Clare. Looking all preppy, her cinnamon hair flowing in the wind curled up into perfect spirals. I guess she saw me to because she came Running up to me.
"Um, Hey Eli. I tried to call you last night but you didn't pick up. I really needed to talk to you…" She spit out.
"I know what you're gonna say Clare. You just want to be friends… I'm sorry, but I can't." I said walking away from her as quickly as possible as she just stood there dumb founded.
"Eli! WAIT!" She called as she grabbed my arm.
I knew I was gonna regret this but I turned around to face her anyway.
"Yes." I said with no emotion. No way in hell was I in any mood to deal with drama today.
"Eli Listen. I miss you. I was going through a lot of things when I said those things to you. I wasn't thinking straight. It's just you were around me all the time. I didn't have any space. I got frustrated and I guess I just kind of talked without really thinking. I'm sorry Eli." Clare pleaded
"So now you think you can just say I'm sorry and everything will be okay? Well it's not. Nothing is ever gonna be okay Clare! Were both messed up in our own ways and being together is just gonna get us both hurt! There's no point in continuing." I saw her tense up. Tears threating to fall, "I'm Sorry Clare…" I said as I walked through the degrassi doors.
I couldn't do it. I didn't mean to hurt Clare like that but being in this relationship would only make us feel worse now. Either way it doesn't end well for us. Of course I still loved Clare. I mean she was perfect. But I couldn't ruin her. It would cause us both too much pain.
The rest of the day dragged on. I longed for the bell to ring. Finally it did and I raced out to Morty. As soon I turned the corner I saw Clare leaning up against Morty.
"Eli we have to talk NOW." She said with a very annoyed attitude.
"What's there to talk about Clare? You made your decision when we broke up. Now it's my turn to make the decision and I've Made up my mind." I replied trying to get to Morty but she blocked my way.
"Eli what's wrong with you! I see it in your eyes you're not yourself…" She said pouting.
"You wanna know what wrong with me Clare! Everything in my life always goes wrong! I was in love with you and you broke my heart and yet I'm still in love with you no matter how hard I try not to be! I was in love with Julia she died! And it's always my fault! The reason we broke up was because of ME! The reason Julia died was because of me! But what makes it all the worst is todays date Clare! Do you know what today is…? April 22nd the day the first girl I was in love with died, all because of me and a stupid argument. The world's just better off without me." I practically yelled. I just let all my emotions flow out of me at that very moment. Anger, Frustration, Sadness, Agony, everything rolled up into one. I could feel the tears threating to fall.
"Eli, I—"
I went past her and jumped into Morty before she could even finish. I started up the car and drove away full speed. I didn't know where I was going. I just had to get away. Of course I still had feelings for Clare. Hell, I loved her. But my mind wasn't thinking straight. Everything was going wrong. I felt the tears start to fall down my face. Maybe the world would be better off without me. I started the car and just kept on driving. Going god knows where.
I'm Sorry Clare. I love you.
Clare POV
WHAT THE HELL? Forgive god but that swear was needed. What just happened? Eli just had a mental break down and drove off? Oh my god. Today was the day Julia died. April 22nd 2009. Just like his bedroom combination. I had to find Eli. What if he did something stupid? I decided to call him. No answer… Oh No. I called several times till he finally picked up.
"Eli WERE ARE YOU?" I yelled through the phone practically crying with worry.
"Clare I'm sorry. I'm done. Don't cry to me talking about this is your entire fault because it's not. If you loved me you would be here with me. But I guess I was wrong. But please just stop calling. You want me Clare? Come find me…" Then the line went dead. What did he mean by he's done? What? I called again.
"ELI PICK UP YOUR PHONE! ELI TALK TO ME!" I practically screeched tears streaming down my face.
Eli POV
I was still driving 80 miles per hour when I felt my phone vibrate I checked the caller ID. Clare. I decided I would say one last thing to her before I did this.
"Clare I'm sorry. I'm done. Don't cry to me talking about this is your entire fault because it's not. If you loved me you would be here with me. But I guess I was wrong. But please just stop calling. You want me Clare? Come find me…"
Then I hung up. Hopefully she knew that I really loved her. Whatever type of god there is out their Please, just keep Clare safe, and with that I began to close my eyes.
SCREECHHHHHH. WOOSHHH
Then everything went Black.
Not my best work I have to admit I'm still kind of new to this whole writing fan fiction thing, and I had a little trouble trying to get the argument together lol but tell me how I did! I have maybe 2 chapters and an alternate ending coming up soon so REVIEW and STORY ALERT! THANKS =) BYE
-Emily