Chapter 2 Kick the Tires

"So vampire is not enough," she regarded him. Pam could only stare in disbelief. Eric Northman, Sheriff of Area Five, had it all. And she meant fucking all. While he was in Louisiana, he lived perhaps a bit modestly, but then he saved a boat load of money on taxes. When he was anywhere else in the world...fuck...the world was her maker's oyster. Truth be told, he fucking owned most of the South. And in the Old World...if you stepped on it, chances were good, Eric owned it. His Viking ass loved seaports. And if you could trace the paper work back far enough, you would see that he owned those, as well.

"Child, I know your time as human left your feeling desperate. But my time as Viking did not. Then, when my parents were slaughtered by that piece of Were shit Edgington, my life changed.

I became responsible for those around me. The village became mine. I no longer had a family nor did I have time to start one. It was one battle after another and a lot of bullshitting politics thrown in. I was so fucking tired at the end of the day I'd eat, maybe, then sleep so I could get up the next day and do it again.

While my father lived, I fucked away years that I should have sat at the fire with him and learned everything he knew.

Well, welcome to the 21st century. I am not fucking away anything. This Viking wants his human back and the vampire wants to keep his magic and fucking killing speed. I have the daylight. We are working on the fertility. Warlow proved to be of use after all."

The edge was gone. She could tell by the way he relaxed back into the chair. He was most serious about this. He put a smile on his face and said, "So, how are things at home? Tell daddy."

That was her cue to step up and stop being the bitch. She wondered what else he had set in motion from which there was no coming back. Every time he set foot here, her life changed. True Blood came to mind. He drank only that shit for months before they released it as a human blood substitute. "Fucking Rhone Valley," she sighed and then became the agreeable child that she tried not to be.

"Hep V vamps are growing in number and ferocity. Tara is my eyes and ears. I pulled her out of a fight the other night when I called. Told her to snoop around, keep tabs on Willa, trust no one and to take her ass to ground every night.

Why, what do you hear?"

"I am waiting on a call right now," he replied. "Oh, speak of the devil only wears Prada," he chuckled as he picked up his phone. "Lafayette, talk to me."

Pam rolled her eyes and shook her head in disbelief. "La La," she mouthed at him and then rolled her eyes so he could see her do it.

"Mr. Eric's, we is in some fucked up shit. These Heppers are traveling in packs and taking folks. I've been talkin' to my contacts on line...I has had several gones missin' these past days. The littlest of the towns seems to bes takin's it the worst. The pack hit out at what used to be Merlotte's. Folks are missin' and those that are left in Bon Temps are runnin'."

Eric sat up straighter. "Merlotte's? Was Sookie there with the Were?"

"Yes. And they are still standin' but I just don't think he is gonna be able to stop all these mo fo'n Heppers. Those veiny bitches, they is workin' its, Mr. Eric. They has banded together and has gots someone who is thinkin' this through and warehousin' folks somewhere. There was vamps at Merlotte's or there would none of us left standin.' Not even the Were.

Those Heppers came prepared and carried them off somewheres..."

Pam could see it. The edge to Eric was back. His voice was still neutral, but there sat a pissed off maker!

"Lafayette, I want you to take yourself over to Sookie's and stay there. Take the weapons I left with you. Those Mac 10s with the UV core will do some damage. As soon as we hang up, I want you to have some more of my blood. Drink the entire vile. When and if while at Sookie's you think you are going to be overrun, drink the other vile and give the other to Sookie. "

"Will do. Anythin' else?"

"Hold the fort until I arrive. The cavalry is coming."

"Good to knows," she heard and then Eric hung up.

Pam stood with her hands on her hips. "Just what the fuck did you do? Sookie is with the Were?"

"Of course she is," Eric replied as he punched in another number. "I needed someone who could take care of her while I was gone."

Pam was shaking her head in disgust. "I thought you tried that the last time...she figured it out that you had glamoured him."

"Well, let us just say this time I tried a little reverse psychology. Yes, get into bed with her. Yes, fuck her to the best of your Were ability which is not anywhere close to my exceptionally fine and finessed love making ability. Yes, move in and keep your ass there. Whatever it takes to keep her safe."

Pam thought maybe he was infected, after all. "So what happens when you show up and you walk back in and there she is, carrying what is going to be your oldest that is goin' howl at the moon?"

"Oh child," Eric grinned. "Not that I would not love the little hairy beast like he was one of my own. Of course I would, for he would be a part of Sookie."" Into the phone he said, "I need the plane, now," and then he hung up.

Pam was not believing what she was hearing. Eric was a lot of things. He would risk his life just...well just because she honestly thought he was an adrenaline junkie. And to prove to himself that he really was the smartest thing out there. But here sat her maker who did not share or play nicely with anyone. "Really, you have this grand plan to hump your way to fatherhood and you are startin' out with raisin' a Were. What am I missin'?"

"Oh child," he winked at her. "It is not what you are missing. The question is what is Alcide missing?"

"What?" she took a step back.

"After the fiasco of the Were protecting her from Russell, at that time, using my very keen mind, I could foresee a time when he just might need to be welcomed into her bed to keep her little ass safe.

So perhaps I mentioned to the Were that he needed to be fixed. Then perhaps I suggested that he would not remember me suggesting he needed a vasectomy nor would he remember getting one."

"And people think I am devious," she said in disbelief.

"Just taking care of business," he shrugged. "I needed him neutered. Just not in the most obvious way by removing all his Were junk which would work for me as well. I am very good at shoveling bullshit, perhaps even an expert in that field. But I don't think I could make Sookie believe that I had nothing to do with all his male parts missing and him singing soprano. I think I just might be the first place she would point that finger of hers. So instead, I decided to just put the fox in the chicken coop but remove all his little fuckers, first.

We are outbound," he said as he shrugged on a jacket. "There will be meals on the plane. Time to go. Unless, of course, you want to stay here."

"Oh fuck no," she hissed. "I am ready to say goodbye to the house of *Dr. Ericstein," she shuddered. "The shit you do to yourself here Eric. I am always amazed you are still living the true death."

"All for a good cause," he replied as they went up the stairs.

She was laughing. "That being for the good of all mankind?"

"Have you lost your mind child?" he stared at her. "Have you become infected with the Hep V?" He was inspecting her closely. "I don't see any veins, any where. Of course, it could be the early stages. But the mind, as a rule, does not go first." Shaking his head at her in dismay he then grinned. "That good cause would be me."

Taking to the air, they landed next to the plane. Boarding, Eric said to the Captain, "Is it all loaded?"

"Yes sir, the hold is full. We have the True Blood Plus and the True Blood as well. Several thousand cases."

"Excellent, get this bird in the air. I needed to be in Shreveport, yesterday."

"Sookie?" Lafayette yelled as he opened the door with his key. "Miss Sooks?" he yelled again up the stairs.

"Odd," he said as he went out to begin bringing in the arsenal. "Were's truck is not here. They must be out in his. I hopes they is lay'n up food stuffs. I can eats peanut butter, but I hope my little fine lookin' ass does not has to be doin' it the rest of my days.

Not that it makes no never minds. La La was born to texts," he sang to himself as he looked around the kitchen and then sent her off a message as to what would be nice to has and must has and just get yous ass home before dark, has.

Sookie was beginning to wonder about Alcide? He kept asking her if they should just keep on driving? What the fuck? Had he no loyalty? No sense of home? No sense of right from wrong? How did you live with yourself if you just ran away from trouble every time it came knocking at your door? With her, that was every other week Trouble delivered her a package. Sometimes, when Trouble was so fucking behind in deliveries to her place, they shipped it by UPS...every...fucking...day! Fuck, with all the shit that knew where she lived, she should not have a home.

Well fuck, the only reason she had a home was because Eric had believe she was coming back.

Eric...Eric who had believed she was not dead, just...somewhere else...and then he just up and fucking disappears. Well, what the fuck? She had as well. No way to make contact with anyone. No idea that time moved differently in the land of the fae. Just no idea...so just where exactly was Eric?

"So Sookie, what say you?" Alcide asked.

"Layafette sent me a text. There are some things we could use from the store if you see one that is open. Even a 7-11 would do in a pinch. Probably could not get any of those de-hydrated strawberries he wants so we can have margaritas in case we loose power. That boy is always thinking...and actually that does not sound half bad."

"Sookie, get your head back in the game. If we want a store, I think that is in Shreveport. And we can't shop for Lafayette's list," he snorted, "and be back before night fall. And what? Is Lafayette at the house?"

"Well yes," she looked over at Alcide. "Of course he is. I have been worried about him at his place. This way, I will know where he is and how he is doin'. One less thing on my plate."

"We can't find any food," Alcide looked at her in disbelief, "and with one more mouth to feed, there will be nothin' on your plate."

"Where is your pack mentality?" Sookie asked him.

"This is not my pack," he shot back.

"Oh," she nodded, "I see."

"Sookie, I did not mean that the way it sounded."

"I think you did," she said. "And I won' t have you begrudin' Lafayette stayin' at my house or eatin' my food."

"Your food?" he chuckled. "Seems to me like I have bringin' home the groceries here of late. I would say that makes it my food. My kill, according to pack mentality, so I get to share it with whomever I want. Just thank your lucky stars I am sharin' it with you."

Sookie stared straight ahead. Pissed. She was pissed...she was really pissed. So, it was that time in the relationship. Draw the line. What is mine is mine, what is yours is mine...time for a little control for which she was not well known.

"He's my family," Sookie replied.

"Well, he sure hell is not mine."

Time to kiss that control thing on the ass and kick it out the door! Yes, she was pissed! If he wanted to play that game, well, she had a score card.

"Well alright then. You been livin' in my house. Rent free. I been payin' the utility bills. You been fuckin' me for free. I figure the goin' rate for a disease free ride, doin' blow jobs occasionally, on the low end of the pay scale, a hundred a pop. I own the food in my kitchen."

Alcide gripped the wheel. "Sookie, oh come on...these times are gonna get desperate. He needs to be with..."

"Stop the fuckin' truck," she said. "Hummingbird Lane is in two hundred yards. You can come by tomorrow for your clothes."

"Sookie," he said as she yanked open the door.

"I mean it Alcide, stop the fuckin' truck!" she spit at him.

Slowing down, she was out the door before he came to a complete stop. Slamming it she glared at him. "Family is family. They stand with you in the good and the bad. You share with them in the good and the bad. You love them in the good and the bad."

Sookie and her fucked up shit and her fucked up friends. Time to maybe cut her loose before she got him killed. "Just what the fuck are you gonna do little girl when those Hep V vamps show up at your place and lite up you and just wait for you to come screamin' out of your burnin' house?"

"Kill them before I parish in the flames," she replied as she started walking on the side of the road.

The truck speed back up and then was gone. "Well, at least he did not throw gravel on me," she congratulated herself. "That is one something to be thankful for."

She felt a million times better when she walked into her yard and saw Lafayette's car sitting there.

"Hey," she called entering the house.

"Miss Sooks," he stuck his head out of the kitchen. "I was just doin' us an inventory. We gots enough food for 'bouts two weeks. I can stretchs it farther..."

"Alcide is gone," she gave him a small smile.

"Well then fucks, we gots enough for two months," he came to her and put his arm around her. "Sookie, you knows I would not lies to you."

"Yes," she shook her head in agreement.

"I heards from the Norths Man, himself. He is comin' this way. I don't know from where his fine ass is blowins' in from or when, but soonest. For he lefts, he gaves me a chance and a halfs at survivin'. Mac 10 pistols with the UV's goodness lookin' for a vamp to call their own."

"Wow, Eric sure does know how to plan ahead," she said admiring the pistols and ammo on the table.

"Now, we does not have a never endin' supply of such righteousness, so we will be carefuls as we goes about our ammos." Taking a deep breath, he put both hands on her shoulders.

"And Mr. Erics, he left us one each a vile of his blood. If it looks like we is about to be overruns, drink it, he said, the whole fuckin' thang," he batted his eyelashes at her. "Let me shows you where tis. I know hows you feels about that, but sister girl, these are desperate times and you know how very particulars Mr. Tall, Blond, and Scary Mother Fucker he is about his blood."

"Next best thing to him being here, huh?" she said thoughtfully.

"Somethin' somethin' like that," he opened the door on the fridge and showed her where it was. "Is Mr. Were a'comin' back?"

"Tomorrow to get his shit," Sookie said running her hands through her hair.

"Sure 'nuffs?" Lafayette eyed her. "Thought you twos were gonna be well...somethin'."

"We are," Sookie replied. "We are somethin' to remind me not put my trust in his shit, again."

"Hear that sister girl," he sighed as he hugged her. "Yous La La, he hears that."

*Dr. Ericstein...courtsey of Suzyq59! Thanks!

Dear Readers,

Many thanks for your kind words. They mean a lot.

The Daughter Girl goes in for back surgery tomorrow. I will be depositing her happy ass at 5 in the A.M. Surgery starts at 7. Any and all prayers are appreciated. They are fusing her L4 and L5 together with a small basket inserted in between the two disks to make up for the blown out disk. She is happy about that. She will be a ½ inch taller. Sadly, she is never going to be as tall as her mother. Not even with heels...just say'n.

I will be up with her every 30 minutes tomorrow night. Gotta hit the morphine drip in case she sleeps through it. I will write when I can but I am gonna be off schedule for the next several days. When I am sleep deprived, it just gets U.G.L.Y.

I am hoping to get Mr. Eric into play here, soonest! It is a late night for Bill so I am gonna work it in that direction. With me sitting in the hospital, tomorrow, I just might get this done. I want this story finished before yet another Sunday night rolls around. And then perhaps, I shall find something to write another smallish missive, about.

As always, thanks for reading!

CES