'A freak of nature, stuck in reality. I don't fit the picture. I'm not what you want me to be. Sorry. Under the radar, out of the system, caught in the spotlight, that's my existence. You want me to change, but all I feel is strange. Strange, in your perfect world. So strange, strange. I feel so absurd in this life. Don't come closer. In my arms, forever you'll be strange, strange.' –Strange (Tokio Hotel)
Mila Crosse walked alone down the silent streets of Mystic Falls. For now the night was calm and peaceful possessing a cool breeze that soothed her. Yet, Mila knew better than most the dangers that lurked within the darkness of the night but even than it could be a comfort to her. The shadows it provided gave her solace; a place to hide from the evil that would seek her out. She'd seen it; she'd experienced it, that evil lurking in the dark of night. She'd always thought that the comfort she found in it strange. For nearly all her life she'd run from it, escaping the monsters in her memories that haunted her. She ran right into its embrace, wrapping herself in the shadows, pretending to live a life but always moving on when the time came.
She could never allow herself to over stay in one place for fear of those same monsters discovering her existence or those she made her life around began to realize how different she truly was. It was the life her existence afforded her but she'd learned long ago the necessity of moving on when the time came. It was never all that hard. She had no family, and the friends she'd made would simply never see or hear from her again—until finally one day they would just forget. For her this life she'd made for herself had become normal.
It had been a long time since she'd last set foot in Mystic Falls. For whatever reason, her running had brought her back to this place. Mila could feel it the ever present presence of evil that always followed was suddenly drawing closer than it ever had. Perhaps it was why she'd returned. In her long life and of all the places she'd seen Mystic Falls was the only place and time in her life that she could remember being even remotely happy. If her time of running and hiding was drawing to a close than this was the place she wanted it to end.
Tomorrow she'd begin her new life as a junior at the local high school. With any luck she'd manage to remain for twenty or so years before needing to move on. Unless, her changelessness began to become noticeable or the monsters appeared.
Mila didn't want to think about it, not now. At that moment she just wanted to walk and enjoy the serenity of the night. It was amazing to her how unchanged Mystic Falls was. The same feelings she'd felt on her first arrival still hung heavily in the air. The strong remnants of the supernatural and magic were everywhere in the town, unchanged by the progress of time. However, it wasn't all that surprising as the town had basically been built around such things, not that everyone knew of that reality.
Suddenly Mila stopped in her tracks realizing for the first time where her thoughtless feet had lead her. She knew the road well, recognizing the surrounding trees as easily as if it had merely been yesterday when she'd last walked down that same road. Refusing to let herself dwell farther on where she'd almost taken herself Mila turned around and stiffly made her way back home.
The next day Mila opted to walk the four blocks to school rather than drive and as she stepped onto the crowded campus she felt a small jab of nervousness in the pit of her stomach. Every time she moved she felt ridiculous for the nerves that would hit her. She'd nearly lost track of how many times she'd enrolled as a new student at a high school yet, still she felt the first day jitters.
Taking in a deep calming breath she continued on easily weaving her way through the herd of students wondering the halls to find her way to class. Mila took her time in halls finding the location of her locker and each class to save her time later. As she wondered, little by little the halls began to clear with the students making their way to their first period classes. Satisfied that she would be able to find her way around well enough she turned intent on heading to her own first period class. However, before she could take another step something or rather someone caught her attention stopping her dead in her tracks.
Almost instantly Mila felt the cold sweat break out and the hairs at the back of her neck rise. What she was seeing was impossible! If she was truly seeing what she believed she was how was it possible. Standing less than ten feet in front of her rummaging through a locker was—her. Or at least who she believed to be her. But it was impossible, that woman was long dead. Wasn't she?
As her mind continued to whirl in a chaotic mess the girl turned her big brown eyes meeting Mila's own violet colored eyes as if knowing she'd been staring. Even with her starring right back Mila continued to openly stare unable to force her gaze away. It was just too unbelievable. Mila's entire body stiffened realizing the girl was now moving right for her.
"Hi, you must be new," she spoke easily her voice friendly and welcoming. "I am Elena Gilbert," she introduced herself holding out her free hand to Mila.
Mila didn't take the offered hand but rather stood stiffly staring in shock and amazement at the girl. She'd introduced herself as Elena—then—it wasn't her. Mila knew that to be the truth. She didn't get the same feelings from this girl as she did before. In reality it was a completely different feeling, much more—sincere and friendly. No, it wasn't her; such things were definitely not in her personality and Mila was rarely wrong in her senses about people. Still, the uncanny resemblance was rather frightening and very odd. There were many things she'd seen but this was a completely new one even for her.
Realizing that Mila had no plans to take the offered hand Elena allowed her hand to drop becoming tense an wary herself at the new student's strange behavior. Initially writing off the behavior as first day nerves Elena ignored it and made to make the new girl feel more comfortable in her new setting.
"What class do you have first? I'll help you find the right room," she volunteered.
"I am sorry," Mila finally answered uneasily realizing how odd her behavior undoubtedly seemed. "I know exactly where I am going, I won't keep you," without another word Mila quickly continued on her way down the hall.
Thrown by the strange happening Mila wondered the halls of the high school for several minutes after the first bell rang alerting the students to the beginning of class. This particular happening had been the last thing Mila had ever expected in returning to Mystic Falls. The girl—Elena, was a complete double of that woman. How was it possible for someone to look exactly like another? She'd even called herself Gilbert and in Mystic Falls, Mila could only think of one family named Gilbert from the past. Such a fact as the Gilbert family being among the several founders of the town made the situation even stranger. Was it just a coincidence? No—she'd learned long ago that there was no such thing as coincidences. Whatever it was, Elena was not that woman and so gave her no reason to get involved. However, Mila would keep a safe distance none the less.
Doing her best to force the flooding thoughts from her mind Mila finally calmed herself enough to make her way to class. Class was already in session when she walked through the door turning all the attention in the room directly on her.
"Hi," she began introducing herself to the teacher first. "I just transferred in my name is Mila Crosse."
"Ah, yes com in Ms. Crosse," the teacher spoke a friendly smile stretching across her face. "Please have a seat," he waved her toward the only empty seat in the room.
Mila's eyes followed the teacher's direction locating the seat the teacher spoke of. However, it wasn't the empty desk her eyes found. Her entire body stiffened instantly at what she saw. The impossibility of it sent her mind reeling. All the feelings she'd been too distracted to notice upon first entering finally hit her knocking the wind out of her. If it had been a punch the shock of it would've knocked her right off her feet.
It was him—Stefan Salvatore, sitting there across the room, his familiar brown eyes wide with shock as he looked right back at her and his mouth gapping unchecked. What was he doing here? Why was he here? She'd never in a millions year would have thought he'd return to Mystic Falls let alone seeing him again in Mystic Falls for herself. For two-hundred years she'd pretended that time in her past didn't exist, resisted it was perhaps a better term. Nothing good could ever come of any of them coming together once more—there was too hurt—too much confusion—too much that had been left unsaid-and just too much in the past for anything to come from meeting once more. So, she'd kept her distance, keeping her existence from them. Mila had always planned for that to be unchanged until the very end.
That had been exactly how she'd wanted it to stay. Now, with him looking right at her with obvious recognition—shocked, but the recognition was there all the same it was an impossibility. Mila felt her world begin to crack around her nearly ready to shatter to pieces.
Even worse were the other distinct feelings that she'd sensed in the room outside of the familiar sensation of Stefan's presence. She wasn't always right in her senses but she was sure of what she felt. Elena, the same girl she'd met earlier was sitting right next to him. Mila had noticed both at the same moment and for that brief moment in seeing them together she'd been thrown back into the past. It had only been her shock at Stefan's reappearance in her life that had kept her anchored in the present. Elena's presence had been one of them that she'd first sensed but there was also the distinct presence of another vampire in the room.
Judging by the look she saw on Elena's face as she looked between them that she had taken notice of the strange behavior.
"Miss Crosse please have a seat," the teacher reminded clearly becoming slightly annoyed with her for holding up his class.
Feeling trapped Mila could only make her away across the room to the open seat that was uncomfortably close to where Stefan and Elena sat. Forcing a look normalcy she refused to meet their questioning gazes as she took her seat keeping her eyes locked on the front of the room refusing to pay them any mind. She had to force herself to continue to breathe normally, to make the tenseness of her body less noticeable but even than was unable to completely calm herself. It would do her no good to act so odd on her first day and attract unwanted attention.
Throughout the entire class period Mila felt their intense gazes baring holes into the back of her head. She didn't even have to be looking at them to know the confusion that she would see in their eyes if she did. She couldn't blame them, especially Stefan.
Mila didn't remember the vast majority of the class with her mind searching frantically for answers, excuses—anything that could help her. She didn't even realize how far her mind had wondered until her wondering mind was jolted back into reality by the dismissal bell. Before anyone else in the room even had the chance to make even the slightest of movements Mila was on her feet and moving swiftly out the door. She was running and she knew it and she didn't care. However, she also knew that it was useless because Stefan could and would follow with just as much as ease.
As if right on queue she heard his familiar voice calling out her name from only mere steps behind her. Ignoring him as if she didn't hear Mila continued to walk her pace naturally quickening. In her rush to escape the confrontation before it happened Mila managed to make her way down the hall only to find herself trapped by the hall coming to a complete end. She didn't even have the opportunity to turn and attempt to make her way back down the hall for another escape as she turned directly into Stefan with Elena standing only a few short feet behind.
"Mila?" he questioned as if he still couldn't believe she was standing right in front of him.
Realizing she would have no other choice but to confront him now Mila faced him her shoulders stiff with the displeasure of the situation.
"What is it Stefan?" she answered with an unhappy sigh confirming to him who she was.
"How is this possible?" he asked barely able to keep his voice at a normal level from the shock. "Are you—?" Stefan didn't get to finish the question he'd been about to ask as Mila shook her head in answer knowing exactly what he had meant to ask.
"No," she replied solemnly.
"Than what is going on?" he demanded growing increasingly on edge.
Mila wasn't all that surprised at Stefan's behavior he always had been the sort of person not to take such things well. To Stefan anything could be a danger and he took those possibilities seriously. For that she couldn't judge him because she was often the same way but in the current situation she was just growing increasingly agitated.
"What happened to you?" he asked again this time more calmly his eyes growing concerned.
Stefan definitely had not changed from the old days. Even now she could sense that he still considered her a friend and was worried for her. Despite the unwanted circumstances Mila could not deny that a part of her was happy that he would still consider her as he once had. Still, she couldn't allow anything to come of it as she was desperate to keep it that way for her own sake.
"Just-," she began to answer her voice slightly quivering but she pushed it away. "Just let me live my life Stefan," she finished strongly unwilling to show weakness at such a moment.
Mila didn't wait for any answer or even give him the opportunity to do so. Instead she maneuvered past him and walked away. Her step only stilled when she came to where Elena stood. Her keen eyes took in the appearance of Elena once more her mind still reeling at the resemblance. Perhaps there was one last thing she could say after all before once again cutting all ties.
"I've been feeling that something is coming," she revealed glancing back at Stefan knowingly.
"I don't what it is or if this—happening has anything to do with it," she continued. Mila immediately sat him stiffen as if realizing for the first time what she must have thought upon seeing not only him but Elena for the first time. "Be careful," she warned sincerely turning away from them both and disappearing down the hall.
Stefan's eyes followed Mila as she walked away. It had been two-hundred years since he'd last seen her and never in his long life had he expected to ever see her again. Even now he wasn't even sure how it possible for her to be standing right in front of him and talking to him. There seemed to be no other explanation than being a vampire like Damon and himself but she'd been serious in her answer that said otherwise. He hadn't seen her since that night and she'd seemed to have just disappeared into thin air as if she'd never existed. She hadn't even changed in the slightest.
At the very least Mila didn't seem to be there for any sinister reason. After everything that had been going on in the last months he couldn't be blamed for initially being on edge with her arrival. However, it was also more than obvious she wanted nothing to do with him or Elena. In the past he'd really enjoyed her company and he remembered how hard the past had been for her so how could Stefan blame Mila for her behavior toward them.
Stefan's wondering thoughts were cut short by Elena coming to stand before him. Earlier that morning she'd told him of her strange encounter with a new student but he'd never thought it would be Mila. Glancing over at Elena he saw the questions lingering in her mind her interest peaked even more after seeing that both he and Mila knew each other.
"What was that about?" she asked curiously watching as Mila disappeared down the hallway.
"An old friend." It was the best answer he could give.
"How old exactly?" she asked again eyeing him with worry.
It was one question Stefan wasn't sure how to answer. In the past he had never suspected Mila to be anything but human. Now, it was more than obvious she was much more than that but yet she'd told him she wasn't a vampire. He didn't know exactly what else there was. As obvious as her want to avoid them to the greatest of her ability Stefan knew it wasn't a possibility. They would need answers from her. Everything could not just be ignored.
"I met her in 1867," Stefan replied giving the only answered he could but he saw the understanding in Elena's eyes.
"This morning—she thought I was Katherine didn't she." It was more of a statement rather than a question.
"You were probably a definite surprise for her," he sighed in agreement rubbing the back of his neck in the attempt to relieve some of the tension that was beginning to build there.
"So what are we going to do?"
"Mila's going to hate me," he grumbled fully aware of what his next move would have to be with Mila's reappearance and how much she would personally disagree with doing it.
"Why?" Elena questioned confused by his words.
"I am going to have to tell Damon," without any more explanation Stefan began to make his way back down the hallway himself.
Elena watched Stefan disappear down the hallway toward his own next class. Much to her displeasure he hadn't revealed enough information or hadn't been able to. His obvious past connection with this Mila Crosse and his last statement left too much to the imagination. After everything she'd been through and seen in the past months not knowing made her very uncomfortable. She could also tell that Stefan did have some respect for the girl which helped her feel more comfortable with what she planned to do.
Rather than making to follow after Stefan she moved in the other direction intent on tracking down Mila to get her own answers. While it seemed Stefan was willing to wait Elena wasn't. Besides, there was something more than wanting answers. There was a part of Elena that still wanted to befriend Mila. She got the feeling that told her that Mila needed the friendship.
It didn't take as long as Elena had expected to track Mila down finding her lingering in the halls rummaging through her open locker. As if sensing her presence her gaze found Elena as she approached. Upon catching sight of her she stuffed the last of her books in the locker and closed it ready to once again walk away in avoidance. Yet, once again she didn't make it that far before Elena caught up to her.
"I am sorry about earlier I can see why seeing me upset you," Elena spoke out trying to stop Mila from only walking away again.
Elena's words did their job as Mila immediately stopped in her tracks turning back to stare at Elena.
"Do you?" she asked anger beginning to lace her voice from Elena's assumption.
"I just wanted to tell you that if you need a friend to talk to that I am willing to listen anytime."
For a long moment Mila stood eyeing Elena warily until finally she sighed and turned to face her.
"Thank you for that, but you only know so much and therefore have no understanding of why I might be upset," Mila answered coldly.
"I am just trying to tell you that I want to be your friend," Elena replied insistently taking insult to Mila's words.
"You really are different from Katherine," Mila told Elena smiling at her for the first time.
"Why are you avoiding answering any of our questions or telling us anything? Shouldn't you at least give some sort of explanation to Stefan—you were friends weren't you?"
"There's nothing you need to know."
Without affording Elena another word Mila nodded to her in dismissal before turning and simply walking away.
"What about Damon?"
Elena's last question had her frozen in mid step. In that single instant Mila felt her heart rate accelerate and her breath catch painfully in her lungs. But somehow she managed to push away the distress that Elena's words and incited in her. She forced the ill at ease away deteremined to continue walking on. This time no one tried to follow her and for that she was thankful. But still she could not pretend as easily that she had not heard the name that Elena had spoken.
Mila made her way through the rest of the day her chaotic mind barely able to concentrate on much else outside of Stefan and what Elena had said. Her only reprieve had been in meeting who she quickly realized was the second vampire presence she had thought she felt. Caroline Forbes was definitely an interesting character. It was also quit ironic that she was also the daughter of Sheriff Forbes a woman who Mila didn't have to guess to know that just by the last name was the decendent of the founders of Mystic Falls and therefore an avid 'vampire hunter' for lack of better term. Caroline was enjoyable and Mila thought that she would enjoy the blonde's friendship.
Luck was on her side the rest of the day as Mila had no more classes with Stefan or Elena and both kept their distance for the rest of the day. Even walking out the doors of the school to head for home felt like a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders. What she needed was to get home where she could be left in peace to think through the happenings of the day and get her mind wrapped around every thing so that she could better deal with the twist of events.
The few minutes it took her to walk back to her apartment seemed endless. When she was finally able to unlock her door she went straight to her bedroom where she fell to her bed. The pounding in her head was only growing increasingly painful from her anxiety. Now her thoughts were no longer centered on Elena nor Stefan. Ever since she'd heard those last words Elena had spoken those last words it was all she'd been able to think of. It was also her worst fear. Elena was a surprise, Stefan was one issue—but 'he' was something all together different.
When she'd first seen Stefan she never considered that 'he' would also be back in town as well. It was unsettling the thought of seeing him. She'd spent the last two hundred years pretending she'd forgotten him. Back then it had been overwhelmingly painful to watch things play out as they had and then when she'd made her decision it had been even more painful. Seeing him again would only mean more pain. How could she bare seeing him again? Could she continue to pretend as she once had—as she always had?
Without even realizing that she had begun to do so Mila found herself fingering the thin delicate chain of intricately woven silver and gold that encircled her wrist as the memories played through her mind. The memory of the Stefan's confused eyes and words passed through her memory. Mila couldn't blame him for that confusion. As far as he knew she had been long dead and out of their lives. She had purposely allowed such an assumption to keep them from possibly seeking her out. It had only made easier for them all. The memories of him and all the moments she'd stolen ignoring each painful crack inflicted on her heart as she did so.
What would it be like to see him again?
No, she could think like that. The past would be left in the past where it belonged. They would live their lives separately in Mystic Falls with limited interaction. That was all…
Taking in a deep calming breath Mila promised herself that she could do this—she had to because she had no intentions of running anytime soon. Perhaps it was finally time she confronted this piece of her past. Yet, ignoring it as she had seemed so much easier, but now that option had been snatched away from her.
Yes, she could do this—she had to do this. Still even as she enforced the thoughts in her mind Mila continued to finger the delicate chain at her wrist as if somehow gaining strength from the simple gesture.
Stefan lingered longer than necessary outside the old family boarding house he and Damon shared. Somehow he'd managed to convince Elena to just go home and let him handle everything for now. There were always instances where he wasn't sure how to tell or handle things concerning Damon and this was definitely one of those moments. How exactly was he suppose to even bring it up.
Sighing heavily Stefan walked into the house immediately finding Damon lounging lazily on the couch before the fire as he sipped at a glass of his favorite brandy. He supposed that the best thing to do was bring it up fast and get it done and over with.
"Well hello little brother," Damon drawled his blue eyes mocking. "Did you have a good day at school today like a good little boy?"
"Mila Crosse is alive," Stefan replied quickly.
The wait for a reaction was long and silent as if Damon were trying to absorb the sudden information. However, after several long seconds his only response was a deep burst of laughter.
"Where did the jokes suddenly come from?" Damon laughed loudly. "It's not like you to be so funny."
"I am serious," Stefan insisted. "I saw her today at school and she—she hasn't changed."
Hearing the seriousness in his brother's voice Damon's smile quickly faded.
"What the hell are you talking about?" he demanded nearly jumping to his feet to face Stefan.
"Exactly what I said; Mila Crosse is in town."
Damon was barely paying Stefan any attention now as he'd begun to pace agitatedly across the large room his blue eyes intense. He knew without a doubt that Stefan was telling the truth. Damon knew more than anyone knew that Stefan was the last to joke about such a thing. What had Damon on edge was the thought of someone—a friend, that he'd long since thought gone being alive and in town was daunting, even for him. How was that even possible?
Without even realizing it Damon must have spoken the question out loud because once again Stefan spoke in answer.
"You're guess is as good as mine but when I saw her she made it more than clear she wasn't happy to see me."
Now it was no longer mere confusion that ran wildly through Damon's mind but little by little anger joined in on the fray. Whatever was going on they—he—deserved answers and Damon planned on getting them. Somewhere in the back of his wild mind he heard his brother talking to him, doing his best to stop him but it did him little good as Damon's mind was set. Paying Stefan little mind Damon grabbed up his leather jacket he'd earlier flung carelessly across the arm of the couch and made for the door. However, before he could leave he found his path blocked by Stefan.
"You should leave her be Damon," Stefan spoke severely. "At least for now. If you go running head long into things demanding answers from her you're only going to push her away."
"What makes you think I am not just going to ask nicely?" Damon asked sardonically only to receive a knowing look from Stefan. "Fine—but I am still going to see her," he conceded maneuvering his way past his brother and out the door.
Stefan watched Damon leave fully aware of the possible trouble his brother might be heading off to cause. Despite what he'd said Stefan knew better than to believe such a promise by Damon, it just wasn't in his nature. As long as he wanted answers he was going to get them and wouldn't stop until he did so. Unfortunately, he also knew that Mila, for the time being wouldn't be so forth coming with any answers Damon sought. Another thing he also knew was that while Damon may not outwardly show it he was very upset with the sudden turn of events concerning Mila's return.
Watching Damon walk out Stefan knew that things were about to get even more complicated.
AN: There you go the first actual chapter of Half My Heart. I felt it a little rough since there was so much Stefan and Elena that was required for me to put into this particular chapter and personally they bore me to write but I refuse to just drop them because without them it just doesn't make sense. So hopefully my best was good enough for all my readers. Please let me know what interests or doesn't interest you and what you like and didn't like for this chapter. I am always looking for advice. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW and I promise I'll keep writing.