Severus Snape.
He sipped his tea slowly, careful not to gulp the hot liquid. It would be rude, unrefined. So very un-Snapish. For a moment his mind wandered to his mother and he froze in his chair. Thankfully the memory disappeared as quickly as it had come and he re-focused his attention to more urgent matters.
Like his ongoing, slightly one-sided conversation with Hogwarts' Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. One-sided because the man kept offering him sweets and he kept saying 'no'. He had already accepted a cup of disgustingly sweet strawberry tea. Surely that should be enough?
"Are you sure you don't want a lemon drop, Severus?"
Severus. Not Professor Snape. Not 'dear boy'. And a good thing that was. If the Headmaster had called him that again he was afraid he would have screamed out loud. A loud, shrill scream without words because, after all, he thought angrily, there was very little he had to say that Dumbledore didn't already know. That was the downside of having been taught Legilimency by the best. The old Hogwarts Headmaster had spent more time inside of Severus Snape's head than Severus Snape was at all comfortable with.
He turned the teacup in his hands, enjoying the warmth that it spread in his stiff, cold fingers while fighting the urge to just throw the tiny piece of china at something. Or someone. Not at all advisable and it would hardly turn out to be satisfying either as Dumbledore in all likelihood would just clean up the mess with a small twinkle in his eyes and a warm smile on his lips. Stupid, stupid, annoying, half-senile old man.
Severus frowned darkly at the beaming wizard.
Blue eyes kindly gazing at him should make him feel special of course. Sitting here in the Headmaster's office, having the full attention of the man who was even more of a legend now that the Dark Lord was defeated should definitely make him feel flattered. He didn't feel special or flattered though.
Just very unlucky.
"Yes, sir." He waved away the small silver bowl with sweets that came floating in his direction. "Quite sure."
His voice was crisp, but not necessarily rude. Or a least he hoped it wasn't. It had become increasingly harder for him to tell the past few years. Hard to know what and who he was, where he was... Hard to keep his different selves apart.
Not that anyone had noticed, he mused bitterly. As far as they were concerned, this was how he had always been. But then again, he thought as he stared at the Headmaster's hands (he knew better than to look into those soul-piercing eyes even though it had been a long time since he had mastered Occlumency), nobody really knew him to begin with.
"A muffin then? Or a scone? They're quite delicious, I assure you. The house-elves have, as usual, outdone themselves. Amazing little creatures. And such a wonderful sense of fashion! I've never seen anything quite like it before."
"Few people have."
The Headmaster chuckled, a warm and soothing noise that made Severus feel safe and... wanted. Staring into his cup, he found himself suddenly thinking that he'd like nothing more than to just stay in the Headmaster's office forever. Grow roots and then maybe, if given enough love and water, he would sprout little flowers. Or sweet little berries. Albus would like that. Berries, that was - not having his Potions Master as a permanent ornament in his office. He probably wouldn't like that at all. Very inconvenient and at times probably quite embarrassing.
(How inane. Add an s and then were would it leave him? In a padded room at St. Mungo's.)
'Never mind Professor Snape, he's been in here ever since the weeks after Voldemort's defeat. He was always a bit strange but he had his uses during the war. And well, to be quite honest, these berries... I've never tasted anything so delicious before. You should try one! Really-'
His empty stomach turned a little at the though of Dumbledore calling anything regarding him 'delicious' and he gave the cup in his hands a suspicious glare. Had Albus added something to make him more... docile? The last word came out in a mental sneer. He wouldn't put it beyond the man.
He sniffed the liquid and took a small sip, swirling it around in his mouth slowly searching for a taste of something wrong but not finding anything that was out of place. Still... 'better safe than sorry' and he quickly decided not to drink anymore of his tea.
"We all have reasons to indulge," Albus told him with a warm smile. "Young Potter has, after all, made sure that we will be able to see several more generations of little wizards and witches grow up here at Hogwarts. He's quite a hero."
"That seems to be the common opinion, yes."
He knew Dumbledore expected him to (and, if he had read the old man right, maybe even wanted him to) have something to say on the subject of 'young Potter - the Boy who Lived to Defeat the Dark Lord - hero of the wizarding world' but he was in no mood to rant even though he knew that it was out of character for him. Ranting required energy and that was something he had preciously little of these days.
"Well then, how about a chocolate frog?"
Perhaps it wasn't at all surprising that Severus Snape had nightmares about being stuck in the Headmaster's office, being offered sweets all night long with no chance to refuse.
"No, thank you."
With a small nod Albus quickly put the offered piece of sweet into his own mouth instead and began chewing slowly; he then proceeded to clean from his fingers all traces of chocolate with his tongue. It was a quite disgusting display and Severus was sure that he'd never done anything like that, not even as a child. His mother certainly wouldn't have approved. (Why did he keep thinking about his mother?)
"I suppose I can't force you," Albus muttered with a finger in his mouth, sucking off the very last of the chocolate.
But the way the Headmaster's looked at him quite openly implied that he very well could have if he had just wanted to badly enough. As usual, Severus saw no reason to doubt that. He'd replaced one master with another and he would have been a fool to chose one less powerful than Voldemort. And, despite the evidence pointing in the other direction, he hadn't been quite that foolish a young man.
"I'm sure there's a reason -- other than offering me sweets -- for you to summon me to your office, sir?"
"Yes... yes... of course." Another warm, hearty smile. Severus was quickly getting sick of those. "I was going to ask you about the other night."
"The other night, sir?"
'This is dangerous territory', a cold voice in the back of his head informed him. It sounded very much like Malfoy (the older one obviously; although he was a terrible nuisance at times, Draco didn't really merit an appearance in Severus' head). Severus snorted mentally as he replied: 'As if I didn't already know that'. Then he berated himself for speaking with the voices in his head.
'My inner eye sees a room in your future... a white, white room with strange, soft walls... men and women in white... medi-wizards perhaps? Mmmm...'
Albus' warm voice interrupted his thoughts; something that made Severus quite grateful. It was quite enough to have the voice of a dead man invade his mind; he didn't need that crazy bint Sibyll to make appearances as well.
"When you were up on the roof.... I'm sure you remember? Unless you were walking in your sleep, of course? In which case I think we had better take this conversation to Poppy."
A chuckle followed the last statement and Severus forced a small twitch in his lips that he hoped, with a bit of good grace, could be interpreted as a smile.
"Well," the Headmaster continued, "I was just wondering what in the name of Merlin you were doing out such a cold, horrible night?"
Albus spoke with patience and the kind twinkle was still in his eyes. He looked so much like a sweet, harmless old man that Severus had to remind himself that he was talking to one of the most dangerous wizards in the world. Maybe even the most dangerous one now that the Dark Lord was dead. (Potter didn't count; he might be strong but that brat most certainly wasn't wise or powerful.)
"As I said, sir, I needed to think."
"I do that sometimes too," the Headmaster mused as he put another chocolate frog into his mouth. The old wizard turned the card and looked delighted as he saw the picture of himself. "Sneak out for a bit of fresh air when I need to think about something important, I mean. It's much easier that way, don't you agree? I once though that maybe if we had our lessons outdoors- But that's not what I asked you here to talk about. I was wondering if perhaps you'd like to share your thoughts with me?"
NO!
"Why would I like to do that?"
Severus felt proud that his voice was still calm. It was strange though; he had never had any problems keeping his calm when working as a spy but when at Hogwarts, he kept losing control over the most ridiculous things.
He'd asked the Headmaster about that once and Albus had said that he hoped that it was because Severus felt more safe at Hogwarts than he did at the Death Eater meetings. Which, of course, was true in a way. But that didn't explain why he always exploded while dealing with that bastard Black. Needless to say, he did not feel safe around that Gryffindor psychopath.
"Well, you know what they say..." Albus seemed to be choosing his words with just as much care as Severus. "Talking about things makes them easier to bear."
"That implies that the owner of the thoughts wishes his burden to be easier."
Voice still steady and calm. His heart was beating hard though and his stomach was in an uproar. Just as well that he'd had the tea, that way at least there would be something to upchuck other than bile as soon as he had left Dumbledore's office.
"And you don't?"
The old man looked at him sadly. Severus frowned, refusing to feel guilty for wanting to keep his private thoughts private.
"No, not really."
Albus sighed and stared unhappily at Fawkes. The phoenix was looking awful again and Severus half expected it to explode into ashes any minute. He felt envious of the bird's ability to die and be reborn. He'd give anything for another chance at life. It was a bit too late now though and a Slytherin didn't waste time hoping for something that would never happen.
"Sure you don't want a lemon drop?" Without giving him a chance to refuse, Albus sighed again and the sad eyes turned on the Potions Master. "I have to say, Severus, I am very worried about you."
Déjà vu.
'Severus, I am very worried about you.'
A short, too-thin eleven year old was sitting in the Headmaster's office after having slipped Sirius Black and James Potter some Sleep-Be-Gone. They had only gone sleepless for a few nights but the look on Dumbledore's face had still been somber. Detention and twenty points from Slytherin. It hadn't made Severus very popular in his House and he'd slept with his hand on his wand for weeks.
'Severus, I am very worried about you.'
A young man, not so short anymore but still too-thin, was staring at Dumbledore's desk as he, once again, was lectured after having hexed Black and Potter. No points had been taken from Slytherin this time though, probably because it had happened so soon after the Whomping Willow Incident. But he had been given detention with Filch and the caretaker had made him scrub the floors in the Slytherin common room without magic. It had taken almost three hours if he remembered correctly and a handful of Slytherins had been watching him the entire time, laughing so badly that they almost soiled themselves.
'Severus, I am very worried about you.'
No longer a student and with the mark of death on his arm he had returned to the one place he had never thought he'd see again. Albus Dumbledore's office. He hadn't been scolded and no real punishment had been given even though he had begged for it.
Now he thought that maybe that had been his punishment.
'Severus, I am very worried about you.'
"You shouldn't be," he answered after a too-long silence.
"No?"
Albus Dumbledore.
Albus wanted nothing more than to actually believe his friend. But he knew Severus too well, knew how that brilliant but oh-so-damaged mind worked.
"I hope you're right about that," he replied. "But I would like to think that I, after all this time, know you quite well and it's obvious that there are reasons to worry. To say that you're exhausted would be an understatement. There is no shame in admitting that you're finding it hard to return to what most of us think of as 'normal life', Severus. In fact I'm not at all surprised, seeing as how 'normal' for you has been quite schizophrenic for the past years. Which is why I have a proposal for you, my friend."
A raised eyebrow and a small, hardly noticeable, twitch as the Potions Master leaned forward. He'd caught the man's attention, at least.
"A proposal? Pray tell, is it the kind of proposal where I am given the right to say no if I do not wish to participate in, what I am sure, will be another of your mad schemes? Or should I just prepare myself to go along with whatever it is you're planning?"
"You always have a choice," he rebuked as gently as possible.
"Of course," Severus drawled.
The smile on the thin lips was ironic at best and Albus felt a pang of guilt, knowing very well that Severus didn't believe him. Nor had he much reason to. He quickly pushed away the unwanted feeling; there had been no time for such things during the war and regrets wouldn't help his friend now.
"As you know there will be no students at Hogwarts this year," he began his carefully constructed speech. "It is most unfortunate, as I am sure we all would benefit from returning to our old routines as soon as possible. However, I'm afraid it would be very unwise to have the children here during the rebuilding. Just imagine what could happen: students walking into a room that doesn't exist yet or becoming trapped in the walls as they rebuild. It has happened before, you know. Never at Hogwarts, of course. But still... no. They will all have to wait another year until Hogwarts has returned to its former glory."
"I had suspected as much. I assume the students will either be home-schooled or attend the village schools?"
Albus smiled, as always pleased for any small sign that Severus actually cared for his students. Not that he ever doubted it himself. Granted, Severus wasn't a very good teacher (he obviously didn't have the patience for it), but he was actually a great Head of Slytherin. There was little he didn't know about 'his' children and little the children wouldn't come to him with. Severus understood the Slytherins and their problems in ways Albus had to admit he couldn't even begin to fathom.
"Yes, unfortunately there don't seem to be any other options," he continued. "Most unwanted. But much less so than more deaths... That is after all the last thing we need these days."
Severus became a fraction of a shade paler and Albus sighed. Combined with what he already knew about his friend, that was really all the confirmation he needed. He could be wrong of course (although he strongly doubted it), but 'better safe than sorry', right?
"Well, back to my proposition," he said, feeling more tired than he had in months. And that was saying a lot considering the situation. "Do you remember my cottage?"
A slow blink, then...
"Of course I do."
"Good." He waited until Severus met his eyes before he continued. "To be frank with you, Severus, I think you need some time off. Time away from all that's been happening. And I think now would be the best time to do so. No offense, dear boy, but what we need to restore Hogwarts is people who are skilled at Transfiguration. And that was never your specialty."
For a moment the man looked if as he were about to scream and Albus frowned mentally, wondering what he'd said wrong. The comment about his Transformations skills perhaps?
"You're an excellent Potions Master, the best in the country and most certainly among the best in Europe," he added quickly in an attempt to soothe the man's hurt pride. "But the only potions needed right now are simple pain-stillers and perhaps some dreamless draught and Poppy is more than capable of brewing those."
Severus cleared his throat with a slightly sour frown but didn't say anything; he just looked at him for a long time before returning his attention to the now-cold tea. He didn't drink it though, just glared at it as if the cold beverage had somehow offended him.
"You're sending me away to your cottage?" he finally asked.
"Oh, no! I'm not sending you away. I would never send you away, my friend. I am simply offering you a chance to get away from here for a few months until the worst of the re-building is over with. And I just thought that maybe my cottage could be an acceptable location... You certainly seemed to enjoy being there the last time you visited."
"Your cottage is... rather unique, of course."
"Yes, it is, isn't it?" He smiled dreamily as he thought about the small house that his great Aunt Agda had left him. It was such an amazing little house. He was almost as fond of it as he was of Hogwarts. "I really wish I could come with you. Although I suppose there won't really be room for one more person."
Black, suspicious eyes suddenly refocused on him.
"I take it I'm not to be the only guest at your cottage, Albus?"
Albus - not sir. That should make him feel better, he supposed. Some of the cold distance was gone. But he knew that if he was very unlucky, it'd be back in just a few moments. Well, what was it his mother had always said? 'It'll get worse before it gets better'?
"No. I don't really think spending several months alone would benefit you at all. You need other people around you, Severus. Nobody does well on his own."
The look on Severus' face made perfectly clear how much he disagreed with that. But he didn't say anything about it, which was one of the things that worried Albus so much. He'd learned early on that a quiet Potions Master (although much easier to handle than a spitting, angry Potions Master) was an unwell Potions Master.
"It's a very small cottage," Severus pointed out in a too-calm voice.
"There are two bedrooms."
"So there will be one other person with me in the cottage?"
Something in the way he said it suggested that the poor person who would have to share the small house with him should be pitied.
"No," he answered, reaching down to lay a hand on his wand. Just in case. "There will be two other persons. The master bedroom can easily hold two."
"A couple?" Severus frowned. "You're sending me away to live in the cottage with a couple? Really, Albus, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. With the exception of perhaps everything I've ever heard come out of young Longbottom's mouth. What makes you think that-"
"Not a couple," he quickly interrupted. "Just two very good friends that in all likelihood will be just fine with sharing a room. I haven't actually invited them yet but I am sure that they'll be happy to spend some time away from London."
Severus didn't seem to pay attention to the last sentence, instead focusing on what he'd said first.
"Two good friends?"
"You know them quite well."
"I'm not in the mood for guessing games, Albus," the black-clad man snapped.
"The other guests will be Remus Lupin and Siri-"
The tea cup made a terrified sound as it was slammed down on the desk.
"No!"
The look on Severus' face was quite horrible. Pale cheeks were suddenly flushed red and dark eyes that were already too big for the thin face became even larger. His hands as he clenched the chair's arms were white-knuckled and trembling.
"Severus-"
"No! You don't... you can't... I won't!" Severus took a deep breath and regained some of his eloquence. "A werewolf and someone who's tried to kill me more than once! Living with me! In your cottage! Is that your idea of how to get me to relax?!"
Well, Albus thought with mental sigh as he wiped away some spit from his face, Severus was still there hidden beneath the cold facade. That was good to know.
"Severus-"
"No!"
"Severus-"
"No. You said I had a choice."
The two men looked at each other for several minutes until Albus finally forced himself to realise that there would be no further ranting, yelling or screaming from his friend. He let go of the wand in his pocket and released the breath he'd been holding.
"You do," he answered quietly. "Your current one is between the cottage and the infirmary."
"The infirmary? Why?"
"Do you really need me to explain about my fears?"
"Why not just dump me at St. Mungo's while you're at it," Severus muttered under his breath, the horrible look still on his face.
"Do you think I should send you there?" Albus quickly asked.
"No! And I don't need you to explain anything."
And thus ended that conversation.
***
Severus stormed back to his rooms where he stayed for two whole days. The house-elves who reported to Dumbledore told the Headmaster that the much feared Professor had thrown an awful tantrum after he'd returned to his chambers, but that he'd calmed down quickly and, as far as they knew, he'd done little more since than to stare at the fire in his room and refuse meals.
Dumbledore hadn't expected anything else but it was still with a heavy heart that he owled Harry for the fourth time in as many days. The boy had proved to be very good at 'scheming', something that didn't really surprise given that he'd spent a big part of his young life working against an enemy such as Voldemort.
---
cheeky-bear007: Thank you very much and an extra hard hug to you for being the first reviewer!
Lilith11: Thank you for the kind words! You're quite right about it being a rather unoriginal plot and, to tell the truth, I hestiated for a long time before finally deciding to write a long story based on the rather shaky 'Remote Cottage Theory'. I've spent three months on it though, doing my best to avoid the most obvious traps and to add interesting twists. I just hope it will work out as planned and that you will stay with me to the end!
Maglor and loovgo: Thank you to both of you :) I'll be posting new chapters ASAP!