Last night Adam and I broke up. We both finally admitted to each other that things just weren't the same anymore, that we were no longer in love. He told me that he was in love with Diana and I managed to tell him my feelings for Nick. We then both agreed that it was best if we broke up and got with the people who we loved. That is easy for him, there is no doubt Diana will take him back but Nick having me on the other hand seems near enough impossible.
I don't think I would even be able to tell him that I love him, that he occupies every thought that crosses my mind. I am so afraid of how he would react if I ever told him so afraid that he will hate me more than he already does. Although I know that I deserve any feelings of hatred he directs at me, after all I hurt him so he has a right to hate me. It just hurts me so much to know, to know that we can never be together because I ruined our chance.
I wish that I could just go back in time and undo everything that I did which caused him pain. Undo me breaking up with him for Adam, the boy that I later learned I only loved as a brother. I love nick so much yet so far I seem to have only done things that hurt him and left an emotional sting. If only he knew the thoughts i was thinking.