Chapter 1

October 2nd

"I so crave for the winter," Sirius sighed, as they sat under their usual tree, spotting girls and (in Remus's case) making homework. The other three looked up strangely.

"I thought you hated the winter?" James asked, "I thought you only loved the summer?"

"Can't a guy change his mind?" Sirius snapped, "I love the winter. I love the snow and the cold. I hate summers."

James and Remus shared a glance, and shrugged both. This was Sirius after all they were talking about. He changed his mind more often than a girl changed her shoes.

"Oi Moony," Sirius said, "When is it full moon? I so crave for that too."

"You might," Remus answered bitterly, "Twelve more days, mate. You'll live through the boredom, don't worry."

"I wasn't worrying," Sirius grinned, "Not with such entertaining friends."

"There better was no irony in there, Padfoot," James laughed, "Or you'll be left alone with no friends."

Sirius gave him the hands up and all four boys laughed. James rolled on his stomach, and watched Lily as she walked by, talking animatedly with one of her friends. Caroline, if he wasn't mistaken. He wondered where her other BFF was. He had heard Lily calling them her 'BFFs', but found it way too girly to use the word himself. Laura probably was in the library, or with her Ravenclaw boyfriend, making out in some unused broom closet.

She was so beautiful. Lily he meant, of course. Laura and Caroline were pretty too, but they would never be able to reach the level of beautifulness Lily had. Lily was like the sun, which made all the stars in the sky look dull and boring. She was his source of hope, of warmth and of love. Unfortunately, she also was his source of misery. She was so kind to everyone around her, but him. She loathed him. Or strongly disliked him, as Laura would whisper, as she came flirting with Sirius.

James sighed and watched his friends. Remus was studying, Peter was copying notes and Sirius was staring into the distance. He had a rather sad look on his face, as he usually had when he was daydreaming, and it wasn't about sex. James grinned. He loved these guys, however he would never sink so low as to tell them. It would sound gay. It sounded like Lily squealed when Laura or Caroline would do something nice for her. Sometimes he was jealous of girls, who could so easily express their feelings. But then he would realize that he didn't want to express his feelings. He would feel self-conscious and gay. He should stop calling himself gay.

"How long do we have left?" Peter asked, as he scribbled something on his parchment that wasn't quite readable.

"Ten minutes," Remus mumbled, "You better hurry with that, 'cause I'm not handing it in late so you would be able to copy the rest."

"Yeah, yeah," Peter sighed.

James watched Sirius as he plucked at the grass and chewed on his lip. His gaze was distant and James wished he knew what Sirius was thinking about.

"A knut for your thoughts," he joked. Sirius looked up, seemingly surprised to see his friends.

"Huh?" he asked, "Oh, no, it's nothing, really. My thoughts were just wandering around. Nothing coherently."

"Girls?" James asked with a wink. Sirius looked taken aback for a second, before he nodded and grinned.

"Yeah, something like that," he smiled at him and then turned to his other two friends, "You guys ready? If we're late in Slughorn's class once more, I'll be serving detention for the rest of my bloody life."

"Maybe you can trick Laura in serving detention with you," James said, grinning.

"Laura?" Sirius asked, surprised, "Why is the conversation all of the sudden on Laura? And what do you mean by it anyway?"

"Oh come on," Remus fell in, "You two have been flirting with each other ever since you met."

"There's nothing but friendship with her," Sirius said, scrunching his nose, "She's not even my type."

"Then what is your type?" James teased.

"Anything with boobs, Prongs, you should've known that," Peter said, chuckling.

"Not true!" Sirius yelled in defense, "Lea Travis from Slytherin has boobs, and she's sure as hell not my type."

"She's nobody's type, Pads," James laughed, "Have you ever looked at her? She's damn ugly! And mean too!"

"I hope you're not talking about me," a voice said from behind them. The four boys turned around, to see Laura, holding hands with her boyfriend. She had a wide grin on her face and her hair was untidy.

"How could we talk about you like that?" James answered, irony evidence in his voice. Laura just laughed and walked away again.

"See you in potions," she yelled over her shoulder.

"Ugh, I hate potions," James groaned, "I suck at it. I don't understand why you need it to become an Auror."

"No need to understand, Prongs," Remus said in a soothing voice, "Just know that you need it, so face it like a man."

"Funny hearing that from the only one who isn't fully a man," James laughed.

"No lycanthropy jokes, please," Remus asked. James shrugged and moved on to a safer topic: quidditch. They were all laughing when they entered the potions room, and Sirius had stolen James's bag, throwing it back and forth with Peter. Remus smiled, rolled his eyes and sat down.

"You suck, Black," James laughed, "Sucker."

"I'm not listening," Sirius said in a singsong voice.

"Sucker!" James yelled. Sirius covered his ears and sang off tune on top of his lungs.

"Potter, Black, sit down and be silent, please," Slughorn said sternly as he walked in. The two boys sat down sniggering. James looked at Lily's beautiful red hair. It was thick and full and looked so soft. He wanted to lean forward and touch it, but knew he couldn't. If only she would let him run his hand through it every now and then, but she would scold away when he inconspicuously tried to touch it, and then she would yell at him. He had stopped trying after she had punched him in the face last year. His nose had hurt for days, even after Mme Pomfrey fixed it.

"Partner up, please," Slughorn said. He pointed his wand towards the blackboard and the instructions appeared, "You have an hour."

Immediately half of the class rushed towards the ingredients Slughorn had displayed. James grabbed what he needed and returned to Sirius, who had poured water into their cauldron. He heard Lily bossing over Laura, who was currently having a laughing fit over something Lily had said earlier.

James and Sirius worked in silence and deep concentration. James didn't want to ruin this potion. He needed the points. Slughorn had warned him that if he blew one more potion up, he would be kicked out. Even Peter was a better potions brewer than he was. Actually, Peter was a genius when it came to brewing potions.

"It's got the wrong color," James suddenly noticed, "Shit Padfoot, it's got the wrong bloody color!"

"Relax mate," Sirius said, poking the potion with his wand, "We just forgot the Venomous Tentacula. Throw it in and we'll live."

James did as Sirius told him and released the breath he was holding when their potion slowly turned the right color.

"See? Told you so," Sirius said, sighing softly. James nodded and stirred the liquid. He stole a glance at Lily's cauldron and scrunched his nose in frustration when he saw that her potion was perfect, as ever. Laura's hair had come loose at a certain point and she hadn't bothered to do it again. Lily was frowning in concentration, biting the tip of her tongue. James smiled. She looked so pretty when she did that.

"Stop drooling over Evans, Prongs," Sirius said with a laugh, "You better concentrate on what we're doing."

"Right," James quickly turned back to his friend, "Sorry. Are we almost done?"

"Almost, Prongs," Sirius grinned, "Just stir it five more times. Or six. Just do it five times."

"Sirius!" James breathed in frustration, "Is it five or six times?"

Sirius took a deep breath and seemed to be thinking for a few seconds, "I don't remember. Five I think."

"I kill you if you were wrong."

"Don't be an idiot. You love me way too much to kill me."

"Dream on, Padfoot," James laughed and he stirred five times. The potion still hadn't exploded, which was a really good thing. The two boys watched around the class as the let it cool down a bit. Slughorn looked into their cauldron and nodded. Another good thing.

"I think I might actually have a good mark," James said happily.

"You owe me big time, Prongs," Sirius said dreamily, as if he wasn't really listening.

"Sure, when do you want that bottle of firewhiskey?" James asked with a laugh.

"Mmh?" was Sirius response. His gaze wasn't focused.

"Never mind," James said silently.

"'Kay," Sirius answered. Laura looked over her shoulder and smiled at them. James smiled back. Sirius didn't see her. She waved, before Lily grabbed her arm and ushered her back to their potion. James grinned. His Lilyflower was being herself. He didn't know why, but he bloody loved the girl, however she had hurt him badly before.

"Two more minutes," Slughorn said. James went to put their flask on Slurhorn's desk. Snape put his next to it, and for a moment, James was afraid that Snivelly would push James's potion of the desk. Luckily, the sound of scattering glass never came. Remus grinned at him as he went back to his place. James grinned back. Sirius stared dreamily into space.

"Okay Pads," Peter said jokily when they had left the dungeons and were going back to the common room, "There are only two possibilities as to why you're so unfocused today. Either you haven't gotten enough sleep, or you're thinking about talking a girl into your bed. Which one is it?"

"Huh?" Sirius asked, confused, "Oh. The sleep thingy, I suppose. I really wasn't thinking about getting laid. You talk as if that's the only thing I think about."

"Be honest," James said, "You're the ladies man. They all run after you and you happily show them the way to your bedroom."

"Not all of them!" Sirius said between his teeth, "Besides, I haven't shagged any girl this year."

"You've not gone gay on us, have you?" Remus asked, faking shock and disgust. The playful glint in his eyes gave away that he wasn't serious.

"What? No!" Sirius yelled. He frowned and shook his head at the thought of it, "Never."

"Whatever you say, Padfoot," James laughed, "Whatever you say."