Welcome to chapter two! This ones just a bit of an introduction; things really start happening in the next one ;)
Deidara groaned in pain, his face pressed against something very hard and very cold. His head was throbbing like mad, and for some reason his clothes felt unnaturally tight. With a groan, he rubbed his head, wincing as he staggered to his feet to survey his surroundings.
He was apparently in a small, stone room, with nothing but a bed, mirror and a desk, and a small, single window that was letting in a veil of soft sunlight. Where was he? One minute he was clicking on a link to a new fanfiction…then there was that weird flash of light…and now…
"HOLY CRAP!" Deidara exploded suddenly, catching sight of himself in the mirror and practically passing out. He looked down in absolute horror, clutching at his chest to discover that the breasts he was seeing in the mirror were incredibly, definitely real. "Oh fuck, what the fuck is happening?" he exclaimed, his eyes bulging as he eyed his reflection tentatively and noticing that he was in some ridiculous, floor-length dress that he had just assumed with his Akatsuki cloak…
"Deidara? That you?" Hidan's voice came from somewhere distantly. Suddenly, as if his body was moving all by itself, Deidara found himself walking towards the window and peering out. He spied Hidan on the ground; several hundred feet below him, peering up; and clad in what appeared to be a suit of armour.
"What the fuck is going on?" Deidara squealed.
" –Why do you sound so fucking girly?" Hidan inquired mockingly.
"I do not sound like a girl!" he snapped angrily, trying to spin around and head back to the mirror –but for some reason, though his mind was fully functional, his body seemed unresponsive.
"Are you wearing a fucking dress?" Hidan cackled gleefully.
"No!" Deidara shouted back, "I…I can't move my body, yeah…"
"What are you talking about?" Hidan snorted, rolling his eyes. Deidara, feeling his body move on its own accord, began clambering up onto the windowsill.
"Oh shit!" his eyes widened in absolute horror as he teetered on the edge.
"What the fuck are you doing up there?" Hidan shouted, but that was the moment when the younger man took a flying leap from the high tower that he had been imprisoned in, and began plummeting to the ground; his dress billowing out behind him.
Now, Hidan would've quite happily watched him hit the ground at breakneck speed -and probably laughed whilst doing so, but instead, he found himself sprinting towards the rapidly falling Deidara, and stretching out his arms –impossibly catching the younger man in his arms just before he hit the ground.
"What the fuck, Hidan, yeah?" Deidara snapped, "I totally could've landed that –"
" –Why do you have tits?" Hidan inquired flatly, ignoring the blonde and his eyes widening in horror as he noticed that Deidara was actually looking kind of different; his face was thinner, and his eyes brighter…and his chest –well, it definitely belonged to no male, "…Deidara…are you a fucking chick?"
"Put me down, yeah!" the smaller man immediately snapped irritably, longing to fidget and kick out, but his body being strangely unresponsive.
"I…fuck…" Hidan tried desperately to dump the man –woman…Deidara –in a heap on the ground, but his arms refused to yield, "…I can't. I fucking can't! I can't control my body!" He didn't like the fact that he was holding a girl version of Deidara in a weird kind of bridal style hold; and even though he knew that that was actually another guy there, there was really too much cleavage showing.
" –Stop looking at my chest, yeah, you pervert!" Deidara growled, finding himself blushing uncomfortably. He finally found himself being gently lowered to his feet, and his hand being taken between Hidan's two much larger ones. All of his instincts said to instantly set off some detonating clay and kick Hidan's ass; but his body, still unresponsive, decided otherwise.
Hidan gritted his teeth as he took Deidara's hand, before gently pressing his lips against it.
"What the fuck –" Deidara exclaimed hotly, but that was the moment when the entire landscape began turning fuzzy, and slowly faded to white.
When their vision returned to normal, the first thing they noted was that they were trapped inside what appeared to be a large, completely white room; with the familiar faces of Kisame and Itachi on the opposite side of the room. Deidara, discovering that he could move at will, immediately clutched at his chest and let out a dramatic sigh of relief when he discovered that he was once again the right gender. Itachi looked up blankly at the sound.
"You look upset," he remarked conversationally.
"I had breasts a second ago!" Deidara exclaimed hotly, "I was in a tower and it was like I was fucking Rapunzel or something! I think I have the right to be upset, yeah!" Itachi just rolled his eyes, "…Where are we, yeah?"
"We aren't sure," Kisame informed him flatly, nodding at one of the walls, "…But I doubt it's anything good…" Deidara and Hidan looked over at the wall that Kisame had gestured to and stared in apprehension as they watched a cursor begin typing, as if on a screen.
"Get away from me!" Sasuke was snarling angrily as Naruto tried to approach him with hands held up defensively.
"I can't!" Naruto protested, "My body's just moving on its own!"
"Like I really believe that –" Sasuke snorted angrily, his dark eyes flashing crossly when Naruto made to come a step closer. Suddenly, as he swung out, Naruto's fist caught his hand, and he was stunned to discover that his own body was refusing to obey him. He would've usually been able to easy bat away Naruto's pathetic block and strike him; but his arm, no matter how much he willed it to move, wouldn't budge.
"See what I mean?" Naruto remarked with a sigh, seeing the conflict and anger rising in Sasuke's dark eyes. Suddenly, his expression changed as he spied something trickling down the raven's pale cheek, "…Sasuke…are you crying?"
"Of course not, idiot," Sasuke growled angrily, blinking away the tears that had sprung to his eyes, unbidden, "Why would I be –"
"You're crying," Naruto's voice softened and his licked his lips; incredibly unsure as to what was going on. He didn't recognise their surroundings either –and what were they wearing? These certainly weren't his own clothes…
"I….I can't help it…" Sasuke muttered aggressively, "I can't stop crying…"
"Why are you –"
"I don't know!" he snarled back crossly, and Naruto found himself dropping the hand that gripped Sasuke's fist. The raven's paused momentum resumed, and he collapsed against Naruto's chest, arms wrapped around him and for some reason, sobbing uncontrollably.
"Let go of me…" Sasuke growled, the threatening tone of his voice quite drowned out by the sound of sobbing.
"You're the one clinging to me –" Naruto's voice was laced with confusion and concern, and a little bit of anger at not knowing what was going on. He suddenly found Sasuke's cheek pressed to his chest, and his arms closed around the raven comfortingly –for which Sasuke glared up at him with angry, puffy eyes.
"I don't know what is going on –" Naruto assured him, his head bowing automatically to rest against Sasuke's forehead reassuringly. Almost as soon as their skin touched, the blonde felt a strange, uncomfortable tugging feeling in his gut; and his vision began to blur.
When it finally righted itself, he staggered; feeling a little bit motion-sick. Reeling forwards slightly, a strong arm was extended and caught him before he toppled over. Blinking confused cerulean eyes, he looked up to see the familiar form of Gaara standing over him and pushing him back a little; eyes narrowing dangerously.
"Gaara –what's going on –" Naruto's words died in his mouth as he followed the redhead's gaze across the white room to see four members of the Akatsuki standing there; half looking ready to fight, and the other two just looking bored.
"That's the nine-tails brat, yeah!" Deidara exclaimed hotly, immediately looking ready to leap into action.
" –Calm yourself, Deidara," Itachi growled darkly, getting to his feet.
"…Itachi…" Sasuke growled darkly, his Sharingan illuminating with anger.
"Well this is unusual," Itachi chuckled coldly, "Baby brother, have you been crying?" Without waiting for an answer, Itachi moved forward so that he was the most prominent of the four Akatsuki members. He addressed Naruto next, "…Naruto Uzumaki...I don't believe I've had the pleasure of meeting your companions here." Naruto looked past Gaara and was surprised to see that Neji was there with him; poised to fight.
"I am the Kazekage, Gaara," Gaara greeted in his powerful voice.
"My name is Neji Hyuuga," Neji growled, "…Itachi Uchiha; I never thought I'd get the chance to fight you."
" –Oh look, so he does fucking exist," Hidan drawled with a cackle, nudging Itachi cheekily. The elder Uchiha glared aggressively at the Jashinist.
"There's no need for fighting," Itachi assured the Hyuuga flatly, and then glaring at his younger brother, "It would seem we are all trapped in this situation together."
"How do we know this isn't some Akatsuki trick?" Naruto growled darkly.
"…If it was, do you think I'd choose to be a fucking girl, yeah?" Deidara snapped angrily.
" –Oh, get the fuck over it, Deidara," Hidan growled coldly, "I had to fucking kiss your hand and there was nothing I could fucking do about it –"
"Wait, what?" Naruto frowned. "What is going on here?" Itachi sighed heavily.
"…Kisame and I woke up in this room," he explained in his ominous voice, "We then proceeded to discover that someone is typing stories that appear up on one of these four walls, like a screen; and whatever is written, we are forced to act out."
"That can't be true," Sasuke growled angrily, the red not fading from his eyes.
" –Well, unless you chose to embrace Naruto by choice, then I daresay I am correct," Itachi remarked slyly; an accusation that had Sasuke glaring rather openly. He was about to storm forwards, but Naruto held him back with a hand and Kisame stepped forwards to protect Itachi. "Hidan and Deidara say that they were unable to control their movements whilst outside this room…"
"I can confirm that," Gaara offered up with a scowl, "For some reason, when Neji and I woke up, we were dressed as…What did they call us?"
"Gaara was a 'punk' and I was a nerd," Neji informed them stiffly, "And we found ourselves holding hands behind the library…Lord Kazekage, have we spoken before this point?"
"Not to my memory," Gaara answered dryly, "Some force is controlling our bodies, though it appears we are still able to speak for ourselves." Naruto scowled darkly.
"…So someone is writing stuff about us, and we disappear from here when that happens, and our bodies do what they write?" he inquired with a frown, "…And anyone who is in here can read it?"
" –Tch, took you long enough," Sasuke snorted, standing in one of the corners moodily, "…Under no other circumstance would I hug you…"
" –Shut it, little Uchiha, I woke up as a girl, yeah," Deidara growled hotly, "I'm going to fucking blow up whoever is responsible for this –" Sasuke's eyes suddenly widened.
"What do you remember?" he suddenly inquired darkly, "…Your last memory before waking up in this ridiculous situation?"
"…I was reading fanfiction, yeah," Deidara snorted, folding his arms, "I just opened a link and there was a white light…" He trailed off as everyone turned to look at him, "…Wait…"
"I was doing the same," Sasuke muttered, "…Karin told me that the one she was reading was about how I was sucked into a fanfiction and forced to play it out –"
"…You can't be suggesting what I think you're suggesting!" Naruto exclaimed hotly.
" –What other explanation is there?" Sasuke spat coldly, "I don't see you offering an alternative –"
"Itachi? Is there a kind of jutsu that could trap us in an alternate universe and control us…" Kisame frowned. Itachi rolled his eyes as though his partner was a moron.
" –Of course," he muttered and all who were present looking visibly pained by the reality of it.
"…That explains Deidara's fucking gender-bending," Hidan chortled, only to be viciously punched in the ribs by a put-out Deidara, "Watch it, shorty!"
"Trapped in a world of fanfiction," Sasuke shuddered violently, "…I can't imagine a worse fate…"
"…You're not even the one that is constantly a victim of abuse and…oh wait…" Deidara remarked, scratching his head and remembering that it usually was Sasuke that was on the receiving end of some terrible things, "…Oh well, at least Naruto's always there to comfort you and nurse your psyche back to health, yeah –" His voice was distinctly mocking.
"Why were you reading fanfictions about me?" Sasuke snapped aggressively, annoyed that that situation happened far too much in the fanfictions he'd browsed through. Like that idiot could ever hope to be a symbol of hope for him.
" –It was Itachi," Deidara snapped irritably.
"…ItaSasu is a terrible, real thing," Itachi informed his brother flatly, "Of course I had to investigate what else was being written about you…" Sasuke just settled with a glare, the sound of Chidori instantly crackling into life.
"That won't –" Itachi growled, but his sentence was cut off by the sound of a fist connecting with a wall, and then a small explosion as Sasuke was flung across the other side of the room; the wall he attacked remaining in perfect condition, "…You don't think we've tried that already?"
"This room is impenetrable," Gaara remarked in his blank tone, "I suggest you do not seek to commit violence while we are all forced into each other's company."
"What are we supposed to do then?" Sasuke snapped, "Just sit around and wait to be used as puppets for some sick game?"
"Yes," Gaara growled; his voice commanding respect, "…I for one do not wish to be trapped here forever. For now; we must play our parts until we can discover the origin of whatever jutsu this may be."
"…You don't have to like it…" Naruto murmured, casting his eyes downwards, "…Just…don't fight us…there'll be a time for that later." He looked back up and caught Sasuke's gaze. Raven and blonde stared each other down for a long moment, until Sasuke averted his eyes coldly with a noncommittal noise. Naruto sighed with a small smile. At least no one was trying to kill each other –though from the way that Neji and Hidan were glaring at each other, it appeared that there had been some altercation before he and Sasuke arrived.
"…Itachi –" Hidan's voice suddenly drawled, and all eyes turned to face the corner where Itachi and Kisame had just stood, "…Looks like it's your fucking turn…" Itachi and Kisame's forms shimmered and glitched for a moment, before they suddenly completely disappeared from the room; leaving the remaining six in stony, uncomfortable silence.
"Fuck...let's see how their fucking story plays out..."
There we are; stay tuned for Kisame and Itachi's first experience acting out fanfiction...and will they all experience only one? I don't think so! Will things escalate? Undoubtedly. xx K